forum Under Seven Minutes // Private RP

Started April 08, 2019 by @blue_topaz

tune

They watched the rest of the movie in comfortable silence. Eventually, Violeta managed to relax against him, trying to ignore the voices in the back of her head.

Gray seemed pretty worried about Violeta, but he didn’t pester her anymore. She’d tell him what was wrong one day, he hoped.

“Liking it so far?” He murmured, nudging her lightly.

The credits began to roll, and Violeta gave him a soft smile, eyes slightly wide and just a little bit teary. "I think I'm going to cry in a really good way. Did you like it?"

“I loved it,” Gray pulled her close and gave her a kiss on her cheek. “You can cry if you want~”

Violeta proceeded to bury her face in his shoulder, mumbling something incoherent and devastated into his shirt.

Gray chuckled, hugging her tighter. “You’re so adorable. So darn adorable.”

Violeta could feel her cheeks heating up, but she paid them no mind, instead choosing to cuddle up to Gray. "M'not adorable…"

TIME SKIP - three days later

Violeta glanced over her shoulder, offering Gray a slight smile as she pushed the door to her room open. "Come in," she murmured, hoping her voice didn't sound weak. The second date with her boyfriend had been fantastic—–at least, the whole conversing and romantic aspect of it. The eating aspect…. Well. A combination of Gray's concern, gnawing hunger, and how delicious the food at the quaint little diner was had resulted in Violeta eating much more than she should have, therefore leaving her guilty and nauseous the whole way home.

Now, she sat down on the edge of her bed, hugging her stomach.

It was fun in the beginning. They were laughing and joking, there was lots of kissing involved and Gray couldn’t stop being near Violeta. And then after dinner, her mood just… changed. It felt like she was sick, but she wouldn’t tell him anything. He stopped asking, but didn’t stop paying attention to her. And the more they walked back to her apartment, the sicker she looked.

And then she smiled at him, her voice weak as she let him in, sat on her bed and hugged her stomach tightly. Gray decided it was enough.

“Vy…” he started softly as he sat next to her. “Whatever’s bothering you… you know you can tell me, right?”

Violeta pushed her face against his shoulder a few seconds before her faltering smile crumbled entirely, not wanting him to see her like this.

"I'm fine," she lied, swallowing thickly. "That was an amazing date, Gray, thank you for everything."

Gray furrowed his eyebrows, pulling her away from him and cupping her cheeks.

“Are you sure, love?” He murmured, pressing their foreheads together. “It’s okay to tell me if you aren’t. You don’t have to tell me why. I can make you feel better without being told the reason.”

"Just a bit of a stomach ache, that's all."

Violeta tried for another smile, leaning against his touch. "I'll be fine—you don't need to worry about me." After a second, she swallowed again, shifting uneasily. "Hold me? Please?"

Gray bit down on his lip, but he didn’t say anything else. He dropped the subject, not wanting his girlfriend to be uneasy. He smiled softly at her, kissing her on the forehead.

“Yeah, you don’t even need to ask, beautiful,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him, tucking her in his chest, chin on her head. “Any other requests?”

"I want you to talk about whatever you want to talk about," Violeta murmured, tightening her arms around her stomach. "And if you don't want to talk, and just want to sit here in very comfortable silence, we can do that."

She nestled closer, soaking up his warmth and comfort. But the dull ache in her stomach refused to go away, and bile rose to her throat every few minutes.

No, she told herself firmly, You're not going to throw up with Gray here. Stop being… you. Just be normal for once.

But the longer they sat there, limbs intertwined, the more detail she was able to recall their dinner in. The delicious bursts of flavour on her tongue, the false consolations of "Just one more bite," the sickening sensation of being full afterwards. She remembered every mouthful, every time she forced another down, in perfect detail. She remembered not being able to stop, desperate to halt her gnawing hunger…. and it was all too much.

Violeta stood abruptly, stepping back from her boyfriend. "I–I'm sorry," she stammered. The burning need to cleanse her system of the meal was overpowering—there was no way she could fight this. "I'm just going to—I'm just going to go to the washroom. I'll be right back."

She was gone before he could protest.

Gray stared after her in confusion, worry overtaking his system. She disappeared into the bathroom, and not long after, Gray could hear her retching. He flinched, standing up and walking over, knocking gently on the door.

“Vy?” He said softly. “Can I come in?”

Violeta didn't stop throwing up until she was certain there was nothing left in her stomach. When she was done doing that, she stuck two fingers down her throat and tried to empty even more into the toilet.

Finally, shaking, she sank down against the bathroom wall, releasing a shuddering breath. Much better…. Did you really think you deserved to eat that much? Violeta knew without fail, as she stared down at her thighs, that she wouldn't be able to eat anything for at least two days. Stupid, stupid Violeta.

Before she could briefly entertain the thought of cutting the excess fat straight off her body, Gray's voice broke through the silence.

"Give me a second!" Violeta called, scrambling to her feet. For the next thirty seconds, she was a whirlwind of panic, hastily flushing the toilet and wiping her mouth until there wasn't a single trace of what she'd done. Then, before she could stop herself, she unlocked and opened the door.

Gray looked at her, from her misty eyes to the way she breathed harshly. He sighed, pulling her toward him and hugging her tightly.

“Oh, Vy,” he murmured, running fingers through her hair. “Are you okay?”

Violeta fought hard against the urge to sink into the embrace, instead pulling back to look at him with what she hoped was a convincingly confused expression.

“What are you talking about?”

Gray caressed her cheek, sighing softly. He kissed her on the forehead. “You know, I’m not… telling you to tell me whatever you don’t feel comfortable in telling me. But I at least want you to rely on me. I’m your boyfriend, Vy. I should be reliable for you.”

“You are reliable,” Violeta whispered, unable to stop her eyes from sliding shut. “I just—I can’t burden you—“ Her body tensed. “I don’t want to… weird you out. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You will never lose me,” Gray tightened his hold on her. “Vy, I’ve loved you for four years. I love every small thing about you. Nothing about you weirds me out, and nothing ever will. You’re my girlfriend. Whatever bothers you is my responsibility, too.”

Violeta squeezed her eyes shut, but a few tears slid down her cheeks anyways. “I—“ She trembled in his hold. “I’m a terrible liar. And—And I’m also terrible at phrasing things. I don’t know how to—“

The need to tell him burned within her, words straining against her tight lips.

“I—makemyselfthrowup.”

You idiot.

Gray froze at what she said. What? She makes herself throw up? Why? Then he paused. Of course he knew why. He knew the answer already. Was that why she barely ate?

He pushed her away from himself gently, cupping her cheeks and kissing away her tears. “Is it because of what they say?” He murmured, pressing their foreheads together. He didn’t even need to ask that question. He already knew the answer. Then he felt a burst of anger. How dare they. How dare they make his girlfriend feel like this. Whoever was responsible, whether it was one person or a thousand… Gray would enjoy destroying them. Nobody hurt his Vy and got away with it. Nobody.

Once she had started, she couldn’t stop. The words just kept spilling from her mouth, unstoppable and desperate.

“Every week—every time I eat a lot—It’s why I don’t like eating in front of people.” Violeta gulped, pressing closer. “I hate myself, and I hate the way I look, and I hate eating because it’s a constant reminder of how disgusting and fat I am. Please—Please don’t make me eat. Don’t make me eat anything. Even when I haven’t eaten for days, I can’t—“

“Vy. Vy,” Gray gripped her tighter, exhaling deeply. How he managed to stay calm, it was a mystery to him, but he succeeded. “I hate that you feel this way about yourself. There’s a lot I can tell you. I can you that you’re beautiful. You’re not fat. I can tell you I love you the way you are. I don’t care what you look like. I love you just the way you are. But none of this matters if you don’t believe in yourself. I can love you, but you need to love yourself, too. And starving yourself won’t help, love. You’re only making yourself sick. It’s okay to eat, even if it’s a little every day. It’s completely okay.”