forum These Open Burns [*Closed*ONE-ON-ONE]

Started February 11, 2019 by @Toxic_Persephone group

tune

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TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY LIGHTER’S FEAR OF THE GANG

The clock on his phone read 11:27. Lighter ignored the text messages under the time. He didn’t want to talk to Marx until later that night.

Lighter had untangled himself from Jake, giving him a warm, loving kiss on the cheek. He felt bad about leaving him there, but he had to go see Marx… he had to take his punishment or Jake would be targeted.

As he made his way down the streets he felt an instant regret. Maybe he should turn around? Maybe he should go back to Jake and never leave.

“Marcy! You came.” Cried the voice of Marx. Lighter couldn’t turn back now. He shuddered as the other male wrapped his arms around Lighter’s chest. “You’re in a lot of trouble too…” he pouted, nuzzling Lighter. Lighter wanted to push him away.

The others had been waiting in their typical circle, where Marx and Lighter stood dead center. It scared the poor teen to death. He didn’t want to face this.

“So, my love, you’ve been disloyal today… you talked back to me…” Lighter began to shake uncontrollably as he felt the soft prick of a knife against his arm. It started to sting as it was dug deeper, carving a small ‘c’ into his arm. It was his first warning. “Have at him.” Said Marx coldly, forcing Lighter down and holding him there. Lighter never fought back. He knew the consequences for that were far worse.

So instead, Lighter stayed down, watching as the group drew closer…

TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY LIGHTER COMPLETELY BEAT UP

The door to their ‘home’ opened slowly and a battered Lighter walked in. One of his eyes was swollen shut and blackened, multiple bruises covered his body, making his face look more blackened than tanned. Deep cuts bled, dripping blood onto the hard floors. His nose still had the remains of blood as if it had just stopped bleeding.

He limped to the couch, gasping as he pulled a cut open further. He couldn’t feel anything but pain, and really hoped Jake wouldn’t be too worried.

(Sorry that was probably really broken English ^^’)

(No, not at all! That was hella great man!)

It would be a few more minutes before Jake woke up, it was as if though he hadn't slept properly in a long time. After almost thirty minutes Jake finally wakes up and notices that Lighter isn't beside him. "Did he go out to use the restroom? Or a smoke?" He looked around with his groggy eyes, still not completely in focus. Jake saw a figure sitting on the couch. Is that Lighter? he thought. "Hey Lighter, what's up man? Wake up early?" Jake said getting up, his still tired body stumbling around a bit. As he got closer he saw that Lighter wasn't quite his usual self. "Hey, what's that-" He froze, instantly, as if the blood on the floor coming from Lighter petrified him.

Lighter never replied, instead he turned his face away. He was ashamed of himself, ashamed to be seen in such a state. He refused to look at Jake. “It’s nothing…” He mumbled, shaking his head and wincing. “I’ll be fine.” He wiped the corner of his lip, trying to wipe up the blood.

Jake's eyes widened a bit. "hey- that-" He was about to take a closer look but Lighter looked away. "Who did this to you!? How bad are you hurt?" He sits in front of Lighter, disbelief written all over his face. He was shocked. "You'll be fine!? What kind of bullshit is that!? Lighter!!" He screeches when he sees how bad it really was. "You need medical attention. Now." He gets up abruptly and starts looking around. "If you don't have any supplies to clean that up I'll go out and get some," He said frantically looking around to see if there was anything to help Lighter.

Lighter’s expression turns bitter. He wanted to spit the taste of blood from his mouth. He wanted so badly to hide himself away from Jake’s sight. He pulled his arms into his body, closing his eyes tight. “Jake… there’s a first aid Kit by the heater. Under the floor board.” He mumbled, looking down at the bloodied couch.

Jake was nearly about to implode just looking at how roughed up Lighter was, but for the sake of the poor hurt guy, he decided to keep it cool. Turning into the darker version of himself would only make things worse. "Right. Got it." He went over to where he was ordered and took out the first aid kit. He rushed over to Lighter and immediately began to tend his wounds. "Who the fuck did this to you?." He asked, focusing on the cuts all over his body. He briefly looks up at Lighter. His expression darkened some but reminded himself to relax. "More like where did you go." Jake knew that this wasn't a 'mugging' because of how brutal the cuts and bruises were. No. This was most likely done by the gang Lighter had mentioned. And if that was the case then he would take them out one by one. Torture was the only thing on his mind as his hands shook slightly as he tended to Lighter.

Lighter looked like he was on the verge of tears. His swollen eye leaked a little and he let the tear roll down his cheek. “I-I’m Sorry.” He choked out, reaching for Jake’s hand. “I couldn’t let Marx hurt you. It’s better for him to take his anger out on me.” He replied softly, flinching when Jake touched up his cuts. “It’s no worse than what my father does…” he mumbled, trying to hold Jake’s hand.

Jake's gaze softens as Lighter begins to cry. He bumps his head against Lighter's forehead. "Hey, it's alright…I understand but you didn't have to do that. If you don't want to see me hurt just imagine how I feel seeing you like this." He lets Lighter hold his hand, stopping for a while. "No worse? Lighter you can't just…" Jake sits up straight again and looks away, a sort of sad look on his face. "You can't keep doing this. They don't control you. You have to make your own decisions." He pulls his hand away from Lighter's gently, trying not to hurt him, then continues to clean and wrap his wounds. Jake may have looked calm but deep inside he was ready to hunt down Marx and his gang.

He avoids Jake’s eyes, Far too ashamed to make eye contact. “I know… but you’re too perfect to be abused like this.” He mumbled, struggling to grasp Jake’s hand. He was pretty sure a few fingers had broken. They were pretty swollen but he wouldn’t mention that unless they remained swollen. “This was my decision.” He replied softly, wiping away blood mixed with tears from his face. The salt burned the cuts on his face.

"If you weren't hurt I would slap you right now" he said casually. "Perfect? Do you really think I'm perfect? I'm far from perfect. I've killed people just so I could fulfil my dad's wishes. I don't see how that's being perfect. My personality is jacked up and I would have kill myself a long time ago if it weren't for my father who locked me up. I scared you, hell, I probably looked like some bastard that was about to beat the hell out of you. I might even kill again. This Marx guy and his damn fucking gang." Jake said firmly. He looked up at Lighter. "Your decision huh? Then you won't complain when I go out looking for Marx to kill him, right? Because it's my decision." He finishes wrapping up Lighter's cuts- well, at least the ones that were visible, then moves on to his bruises. He takes out a small container and opens it, scooping up some salve, then dabs the ointment on his bruises.

“Who cares what you’ve done in the past?!” Lighter snapped, half tempted to yank himself away from the other male. “Who the hell cares!? I don’t! You’re a damn good person now.” He growled lowly, pulling himself away from Jake after the first few bruises were salved. “I’m trying to keep your ass away from the gang. I’m trying to keep you safe. So hell yes I’m going to complain when you go looking for the guy I’m trying to keep you away from.”

Jake's expression darkens completely. He stands up suddenly. A look of disdain in his eyes as he glares at Lighter, his hands were balled in a fist. "Maybe you don't care but I do. I'm the one who has to live with it for the rest of my life and just because you see me as a good person doesn't mean that other people will." Jake averts his eyes to the floor and steps away from Lighter. "Well, I'm sorry that I care about you getting hurt. You're trying to keep me safe? At what cost? Do you think you keep on doing this forever? Do you think I'm someone who desperately needs protection? Especially from someone like you?!" Jake's voice got higher and higher until it reached its climax at the last question. He flinches and his eyes widen, he immediately regrets it. He shouldn't have said that. He said too much and he couldn't take it back now. Jake grits his teeth, tears threatened to fall from his eyes. "I didn't mean it like that…I just don't want to see you hurt." Jake's voice was a bit shaky and for the first time, he revealed the side of him that was broken. There was something painful in his eyes, a look of hurt on his face. He backs up even more. "If I'm the reason you're going to get this brutally hurt I would rather be far away from you. Even if it hurts." Jake hadn't realized but he had been backing up the whole time as he spoke and when he took another step back, his back met the smooth coolness of the door. His hands shake as he tries to find the handle and when he does he steps out and closes the door.

"Other people's opinion's don't matter, Jake. I still love you even if you are a killer. I've probably killed people too! I've probably burned people alive. The past isn't who you are! I'm serious about all of this. I'm trying to keep you safe even if it means I'm the one who gets hurt!" He didn't seem to understand why Jake was so angry about it. His eyes widened at Jake's words. He was hurt. Someone like him…

With hot tears rolling down his face, "Of course you don't need protection one hundred percent of the time but he's different than the people you have dealt with. He's no person you can casually walk in and kill or torture. He enjoys the pain. Someone like me is trying to protect you from him…" Lighter didn't even look at Jake as he tried to fix his mistake. He couldn't take the broken look. The second he heard the door shut, Lighter broke down.

All the stress of the last few years hit him at once. He mourned each and every mistake and regret he had ever had or made. He mourned even starting drugs and joining the gang. He hated himself for it. It was all his own fault. His fault for being born a cripple, his fault for not getting a job and his fault for letting his mother go without treatment. If he had only started working to pay for his mother's treatment she would have lived and he would be fine.

And Jake wouldn't have walked out the door.

(I AM BAWLING I AM THIS CLOSE TO DELETING JAKE)

Jake stood behind the door shaking and trying so hard not to cry. He wasn't going to let himself cry now, he didn't deserve to feel pain like the rest of the people, but Lighter's cries were so heartbreaking that it made his last efforts of being strong crumble. He would do anything to help Lighter, he wanted to comfort him, to make him stop crying. So why was he standing out here being a complete pathetic idiot? He covered his ears, it was as if the sound was killing him. Jake desperately tries to clean the tears off his face as he backs away from the door. With every step he took, the pain only increased. As he kept walking farther and farther away he was able to gain back the emotional control that Lighter had taken away from him. His head cleared a bit, but the sound of Lighter crying was still stuck in his head which made a dull ache settle in his chest. By the time he had stopped he was a complete wreck. His hair was messy like he hadn't combed it in days, there were black bags under his eyes as if he hadn't just gotten sleep, his eyes were red like he'd just been off doing crack or something. Why did he even care in the first place? The image of Lighter smiling flashes across his mind but he shakes it off, angry that he would dare to imagine him. He kicks some random trash littering the floor of the street. He closes his eyes. It was cold. It wasn't cold with Lighter around his brain reminds him and he lets out a string of curses. "If I could get a second of peace!" He yells at the empty street. The argument kept circling his head, tormenting him. He suddenly remembered the cigarettes in his back pocket and took one out. Lighting it, he took a quick drag, his nervous system still all over the place. He didn't understand why Lighter couldn't see what he saw. He knew that he had promised Lighter that he had his permission to protect him but that wasn't his idea of protection. He wanted for both of them to be okay. If the world could only give them a break.

(NOOO HES TOO AMAZING. I’M SO SAD THO. OUR BOI’S BEED TO HECKEN JUST LOVE EACH OTHER WITHOUT STUPID MARX)

Lighter pulls his lighter from his pocket. He was stressed. Way too stressed. The flame was lit and held against his skin. The pain subsided his thoughts. The pain took away his emotional pain. The scent of searing flesh and blood floated through the apartment and yet Lighter didn’t care.

He just wanted someone to love him for a change. He wanted someone to accept him. He didn’t want to be someone like himself. He wanted Jake to come back to him and hold him.

(AHHHHHHHH THAT JUST MADE ME FEEL DEPRESSED)
(MY POOR BOI LIGHTER DON'T HURT YOURSELF cries)

As Jake was calming himself on his own terms he began to remember how Lighter begged him to stay. “What’s the point if I’m alone again…?” “I’m afraid of what I might do if I’m alone.” “What if I kill myself… I’ve tried. Countless times” That was enough to jolt him out his high state. "He wouldn't…" Jake whispered under his breath. As soon as his body responded to his request he was making a run for it from the direction he had come from. Was he a complete fucking idiot!? He saw the burn marks, he knew that Lighter would have been more than capable of killing himself, so why had walked out on him!? "Oh shit oh shit oh shit," He said as he ran.
(you wanna know what would be real depressing? wiggles eyebrows Marx finding him right about now)

(CRIIIIIII)
(Marx finding Lighter? Or Jake?)

Lighter stared at the marks across his skin. He deserved this. Another was added, the skin blistering and then blackening. The tissue around the burn slowly died, leaving awful looking spots of raw flesh.

These seared worse than the blades that had been cut into his skin. Soon his arm was nearly devoid of healthy skin, instead replaced by third degree burns that showed the melted muscle below. His fingers felt numb, his nerves were blank.

His emotions were blank.

(ahaha Jake lmaoo but like that would never happen. I really need to chill with the dark thoughts lol please don't listen to me I am broken inside)

Jake began to panic, it's like he couldn't run fast enough for the life of him. He looks around, trying to focus on where to go. The smoke must have messed his brain up because he was off guard and way too relaxed for his own good. He didn't like feeling off guard, it made him feel unsafe. He finally gets to the entrance of the place Lighter had first shown him. He looked up at it, wincing at the memory of Lighter laughing at his joke as they walked in. He must have really fallen hard this time. Jake had only had one other boyfriend in his life but that ended when he had to kill him in a street fight. He didn't want this to end like the last one. If Lighter did anything to himself then it was on Jake. A dark shadow settles on Jake's worried face as he enters.

(Faaam can we do that later tho!!!?? It would be so interesting!!)

To Lighter, self harm was his way to calm down. He stood slowly, dropping the lighter at his feet. He was in such a stupor, Jake’s words reverberating in his head. It felt like a song he hated on repeat. He was stupid to think he could be happy.

The gang wouldn’t let him. The world wouldn’t let him.

Lighter picked up the discarded First Aid Kit but not to fix himself. He closed it, setting it aside after not finding what he wanted.

The next place he went was to his makeshift ‘kitchen.’ Under the floor board he had his more than just safety equipment. If Jake had looked closer he would have found a bloodied butterfly knife, it’s blade roughly sharpened and ragged.

This was the knife Lighter had used to carve the scar into his wrist. This was the knife he swore would take him out of this world if jumping wasn’t an option.

(lmaoo yeesss I would love to see how that would go down)

Jake walks up the stairs and stands in front of the door he had stood behind a few minutes ago. Man, he was so not ready to do this. The nerves were getting the best of him as he as he reached for the handle, then opens the door slowly, not wanting to startle Lighter if he was still in such a state as earlier. Jake saw Lighter standing by the place he had taken out the first aid kit from. "Lighter? Are you okay? Hey umm….about earlier…I had no right to say that and I'm sorry for hurting you…If there is anyway that I can ma-" As Jake walked closer to Lighter he saw something in his hands. It was a knife and it serrated for some reason. For a second he stood there questioning why Lighter would have a knife. Then everything clicked into place and his brain went into autopilot. He immediately lunges for the knife in Lighter's hands. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?!"

(I wanna see it too
HOLY CRAP DONT LUNGE FOR A KNIFE JAKE XD)

Lighter jumped at the sound of Jake’s voice, almost flinching away from it. His timing was awful. For a moment, Lighter considered plunging the knife into him right then and there, but something about Jake’s words stopped him. He stared blankly at the male, lowering the knife slowly.

Until Jake lunged the knife in his hand. He fought to keep it, gasping. “THERE IS NOTHING LEFT FOR ME!” He cried, allowing the male to pull it from his grasp. “I have nothing…. I can’t even keep you around… I’m a cripple who shouldn’t have even been born. I could’ve saved my mother and instead I went around and joined a gang. I’m nothing in this world, Jake… it’s better for me to just die.”

(LMAO LEAVE MY BOI JAKE ALONE HE'S STUPID OKAY?)

As soon as Jake had the knife in his hands he throws it behind him, knowing that if Lighter tried to get it he would have to get through Jake first. "You have nothing!? Am I 'nothing' to you!? You can't keep me around!? Why the hell do you think I'm here then?!" Jake had pushed Lighter against the wall in the process of getting the knife and he wasn't letting go of Lighter's hands. He listened to Lighter, his expression softening. "You have to stop dwelling on the past Lighter! You can't change that! But you can change what you do now! And no, no, you don't deserve to die. You're the last person on this earth who deserves to die. No one else in your position would have gotten this far, so be a little proud of yourself man even if it was a struggle to stay alive!" He pulls Lighter towards him and hugs him. "Don't do that. Ever again." Jake's body was trembling slightly as Lighter's body met his. "You are someone…to me you're the best thing I could have asked for. A perfect boyfriend"

Lighter winced in pain as he was pushed back against the wall, a slightly annoyed expression in his face. He hadn’t asked to be ‘saved’ from himself. He just wanted to stop existing, for the pain to stop.

“Why are you here?” He asked quietly, looking away. Shouldn’t he have felt at least some guilt?! “I don’t belong here… I don’t belong anywhere. I can’t do anything right and I’m just… just worthless here. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t go any farther.” He collapsed into Jake’s arms. This sensation broke through his numbness. He felt safe in his arms.

Lighter found himself hugging Jake back tighter and tighter, hot tears running down his face. All of his emotions came back in one giant flood, overwhelming him. He sobbed and sobbed, the guilt overwhelming him. “I-I won’t do it! I won’t ever again! I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I’m so broken I just can’t think straight! I’m afraid of myself Jake… I’m so much of a coward I’m afraid of myself. I’m not perfect… I’m not perfect…” He bawled into Jake’s chest, his breath hitching in his throat.

Jake held Lighter tightly as he cried. He'd never seen someone so hurt in his life before. Jake's heart went out to Lighter, he wanted to keep him like this, safe and protected. He knew that it would take some time but Jake was going to make sure that Lighter was at a hundred percent. From that point on Jake vowed to never be the reason why Lighter cried again. Jake rubs Lighter's back, in efforts to console him. "It's okay, you're okay, you're going to be okay…! You're not a coward, you can do this, I'll help you, I swear! You're perfect just as you are now…you'll always be perfect in my eyes"

A few minutes passed as they stayed like this. Jake pulled away slightly after Lighter had calmed down and cleaned his face with his sleeve, then took a good look at him. There was a friendly warm smile on Jake's face, he then suddenly pouted childishly. "I bet you haven't eaten amirite? Also. What are these?" He narrows his eyes at Lighter in a playful way as he holds up Lighter's arm, showing the black burns. "No sir, not on my premises." Jake gets up and scoops Lighter up in his arms then places him on the bed. "Now where's that first aid kit…" He said looking around, though that wasn't going to be enough. He would have to go out and buy extra supplies.

All Lighter could do was sob in response. As Jake consoled him, he relaxed, growing more stable. Eventually his sons turned to sniffles.

He nods at Jake’s words, smiling weakly at his playful nature. Until the burns were brought back up. He looked down, shrugging. “A reaction to stre-“ he gasped as he was lifted to the bed, looking a little pained by the action. “It’s over there, on the floor.” He says softly, pointing in the direction of where the discarded first add kit had been placed.