forum Hold me closer, tiny dancer (o/o) (Closed)

Started December 20, 2021 by @emilyevewrites group

tune

Rowan tightened his grip on Eve, his heart beating a mile a minute. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm s-so sorry…" He whispered shakily. His hands were shaking badly by now, and what was visible of his face was very pale.

"Shhh, shhh," Eve whispered. Her hands gently rubbed his back in alternating directions to calm him down. "Relax. They're not here. You're safe. You're safe."

It took Rowan a while to start breathing more regularly again, and he was pale and jittery. He was still clinging to Eve for comfort. He kept whispering apologies, although his voice was getting weaker.

Eve continued rubbing his back and whispering sweet little nothings to him to help him feel better as she waited for him to relax.

When Rowan was finally a bit calmer, he seemed exhausted, and he was still a bit pale and quaky. His breathing was pretty raspy now, and his grip on Eve was significantly weaker. "M'sorry…"

Eve relaxed her grip slightly as Rowan's weakened. "Don't be," she whispered. "Don't apologize for trauma, darling. Everyone has dealt with it at some point."

Rowan looked up at Eve weakly, his eyes distant and dull. "But it shouldn't fall to you to deal with me, I… I-I normally do this by myself…" He whispered.

"I think it's time you let go and shared your pain with someone else," Eve murmured.

Rowan shook his head weakly. "No… no… I-I gotta do it myself…" He mumbled. "M'sorry… you shouldn't have to deal with my problems, Eve…"

"You've already dealt with some of mine," Eve protested. "This is weighing on you too heavily. I can tell. Please let me help."

"But… but I can't… you'll think less of me than I'm sure you already do." Rowan whispered in reply.

Eve frowned. "Look at me," she instructed and used her fingertips under Rowan's chin to turn his head so he faced her. "I don't think any less of you because of your parents." She leaned in and placed a brief, chaste kiss on his lips before pulling away to look back into his eyes. "In fact, I think very highly of you now."

Rowan looked drained, and pretty upset, although he wasn't quite crying. He might as well have been specifically trained not to cry by his parents. "But I'm so… weak. I never fight back. I just let them walk all over me all the time, Eve… you don't think less of me for being such a pushover?"

Her eyes softened as she cupped his face in her hands and looked deeply and earnestly into his eyes. "Never."

"Well… you should. I don't deserve your respect…" Rowan closed his eyes and leaned into Eve's gentle touch, clearly craving some positive attention.

"You need to stop saying that," Eve whispered. "You deserve so many good things in this world, Rowan. You many not believe it, but you do. You're not a bad person. You're a good person who has had bad things happen to you."

"No, no, no… I can't… I can't be good enough. It's impossible. T-There's always somebody better, and… I'll never be good enough for them. For anyone. You deserve so much better than me, Eve…" Rowan kept his eyes closed, trying to relax into Eve's hands. It wasn't like he got a whole lot of hugs or anything from his parents, so he needed this right now.

Eve's eyes shone as she rested her forehead against his and whispered adoringly. "You're good enough for me."

Rowan shook his head weakly, but he did seem to relax a bit more. "Why do you want me, Eve…? You can do so much better than me… you're amazing…"

"You flatter me," she replied with a soft laugh and closed her eyes. This moment between them was so vulnerably intimate, so it felt right. "This may surprise you, but my personality tends to scare most people away."

"You're confident, and strong… and you're so good at what you do. How could I not want to get to know you better?" Rowan smiled weakly. "You're everything I aspire towards."

Eve felt a tear slip out from under her closed eye, and it trickled down her cheek. "If only you knew," she whispered sadly.

"Well… it doesn't matter to me what your past is. You've worked hard to get where you are, and I'm proud of you." Rowan offered another tired smile.

"And it doesn't matter to me what your past is," she whispered, keeping her eyes shut. "You're here now."

"Mmnh…" Rowan buried his face in Eve's shoulder again, holding tightly to her. "But my past is still causing problems…"