"I could always help you pay for one-" Irene's father's voice echos throughout the house. "DINNER'S READY!!" She sighs. "WE'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE!!" Irene squeezes next to Lloyd in the beanbag. "We don't have to go, I can always get food later and bring it up here."
"Alright… we… we should probably go, but I don't trust myself with knives. Even with other people around, I can't guarantee anything I may or may not do." Lloyd stood up and took a moment to find his balance. He ran his fingers through his hair so it wouldn't be such a mess before going downstairs with Irene.
"Are you sure you are ok to go and eat a full meal, with my father observing you to make sure I made a good choice for my best friend? And don't worry, for some reason he doesn't trust me with knives and he would trust you even less with them." Irene stands up and walks to the door.
"Well, if he decides I'm not, I guess he wouldn't be wrong. I wish I could be a better friend to you." Lloyd went into the kitchen with his small fake smile plastered onto his face. "Hello, Mr. Semyonov." He sat down quietly. He'd try to eat as much as he could, but he wasn't really used to eating. It wasn't unlikely that he'd end up throwing it all up later, either.
Irene sighs. How many times do I have to tell him that he is the best friend I've ever had She shakes her head and goes downstairs. "Hello Father, this looks delicious!" She eats a lot, more than someone may think. "Father, did I ask if he can stay the night? I don't remember." He thinks for a moment. "I don't think you did, but I just don't know. I mean a really nice a polite boy, such as Lloyd just might not be welcome here…" Irene slouches a little. "Of course he can! My daughter finally brought her best friend over, why would I say no?!" He laughs. Irene fake laughs and looks over to Lloyd.
Lloyd smiled weakly. "T-Thank you sir. It… it means a lot." More than you could know… I just really don't want to be at my place tonight. It's not a nice feeling, being terrified of your parents. Lloyd ate the food, and as normal an amount as he could muster. His stomach already seemed angry at him for it, and he didn't think this was going to stay down all night. He managed to keep this fact hidden well enough, though.
Irene soon finished her food. "Thank you, father, it was delightful. Lloyd, are you done? If not, I'll be in the living room." She winks and goes up to the studio room.
"Yes… thank you for the food, sir." Lloyd got up and washed his plate, setting it in the sink since he didn't know where the plates went. He went back up to the studio room and curled up on the beanbag again. "Nnnnnn… I-I'm not used to eating that much food…" He said quietly, his eyes closed and his face quite pale.
Irene sees him enter the room and get on the beanbag. Then she notices how pale his face is. "Do you want me to get you something to help you feel better?" Irene stands up and opens a few of the windows for fresh air. "You know you didn't need to eat that much. But get used to that much food, I want you to stay here for a while. We can get you some stuff if you need it. Maybe not from your house, but we could go shopping… we haven't done that together yet!!" She goes back over to Lloyd and places her hand on his forehead. "Well you don't seem to have a fever, that's good…"
"Yeah, I'm not sick, I just…" Lloyd looked away. "…m-my stomach has learned from a bad habit… I… I often purge after eating, so that's likely why my stomach is unsettled…" He curled up tightly on the beanbag, his arms crossed over his stomach. "I-I'm trying, because I know I need this, but I'm not sure I can keep it all down…"
"I have something that might help soothe your stomach. I'll be back, and don't you move, Okay?" Irene quickly leaves the room and comes back with a small bottle. "I know essential oils are… definitely not normal for this kind of thing. But when I was younger, my mother always put peppermint oil on my stomach if it ached. It always helped me a lot. Do want some?" Irene hold the bottle out to Lloyd.
"Thanks… I'll… I'll think about it." Lloyd held the bottle gently, still feeling queasy. "If I suddenly run off to throw up, don't worry… I-I'm okay…" He gave Irene a weak smile to reassure her, still curled up tightly. "Again, I apologize for all the problems I'm causing with the bad habits I've formed from neglecting my own health entirely…"
"Okay, by the way, the bathroom is the first door to the right. And as I said, those habits are going to change. I want you to stay here for a while, at least three weeks, apparently that's how long it takes to form a habit." She returns a smile. "So is there anything you would like to do? It's only 5:14 so we have plenty of time before it gets dark."
"Um… w-well, I'm not used to doing… normal people things… I usually just read textbooks or dictionaries like some dork, but I'm sure you've got better things to do than that." Lloyd lay his head back on the beanbag and watched Irene quietly. "What do normal people do?"
"A great dork though." Irene laughs and thinks. "I honestly don't know… I usually do Sudoku or any sort of mind exerciser." Irene plops back down into her beanbag. "I guess we could watch a movie… normal people do that, I think…"
Lloyd nodded and went paler, stumbling to his feet. "I'll… be right back…" He ran off to go throw up, trying to be quiet so Irene's dad wouldn't hear him. Oh god… I really hate myself for this… He gagged a bit, shaking. A few loose strands of his hair stuck to his forehead, and his throat was burning.
Irene lets out a heavy breath. I hope he's ok. I can't stand seeing him in this much pain. She leaves the room and stands outside the room waiting for Lloyd to come back. Oh I hope there's nothing sharp in the bathroom… She starts pacing, now really stressed about that.
Unfortunately, there were plenty of sharp things in the bathroom. Lloyd subconsciously picked up a spare razor blade and sliced into his skin before he even knew what he was doing. He snapped back to his senses, but the damage had been done. "I-Irene…?" He called nervously, dropping the bloody blade. He looked down at the blood dripping from his arms onto his hands, his hands shaking violently. "Irene?!"
Irene hears Lloyd's voice calling her. She runs to the bathroom and once she sees Lloyd she lets out a small yelp. Irene quickly grabs the razor blade and puts it on the counter. Her hands already with blood on them, she grabs a few kleenexes and puts pressure to his cut. They soon are covered in blood, but the bleeding did slow down. She treats his cut. The whole time, tears were forming and some falling. "Th-there. I-it's all b-better." She stands up, then helps Lloyd up to clean the blood off his arm and hands. After he was done, she washed her hands and the blood that dripped on the floor. "I'm so sorry, I should have come with you, maybe this wouldn't have happened…"
"N-No, I'm the one who should be sorry… I can't even control myself alone for five minutes." Lloyd stared at the razor blade with an almost longing look in his eyes before slapping himself hard across the face. "No! Pull yourself together!" He sat down and drew his knees up to his chest, a red mark blossoming on his cheek where he'd hit himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…" He muttered repeatedly, hiding his face in his hands. "Weak… coward… n-no… yes?" He seemed to sort of be arguing with himself.
Irene cleans off the razor blade and looks for any other sharp objects. She finds a few and puts them somewhere while Lloyd isn't looking. She sits next to Lloyd laying her arms around him again. "Lloyd, I love you so much, no hetero and no homo, but you really need to stop all of these self-deprecating and harming habits. I can't stand watching you go through all of this alone. We are going to change that, together. I'll be with you the whole time. I am by no means a professional, but I'll do my best." She smiles weakly to try to comfort him.
"Is… is there a way to safe proof me?" He asked quietly. "I-I feel like I need constant supervision or something… whenever I see my bare wrists, I just want to… to bite them or something…" Lloyd blinked away tears, folding his arms tightly over his stomach so he couldn't hurt himself. "I don't really want to do it… it's an addiction. I-I can't stop…" He looked over at Irene, his eyes shining with tears. "As much as I hate to burden you, I… I-I need help…"
Irene pauses to think for a moment. "Well, let's start with leaving this room, it's probably the worst place, as well as the kitchen, for you to be in." Irene stands up and helps Lloyd up. They go to the studio room again. They sit down. "Ok, I feel better already. So, I bet there is a way to safe-proof you… Would it help to have some sort of cuff that doesn't slip around? It would stay in one place and you couldn't cut through it." Irene lays her head back on the beanbag to think more about it.
"It might…" Lloyd lay back on his beanbag as well, sighing. "Is this what it's like for alcoholics and smokers trying to get over their addictions? I think I'm suffering from some of the same symptoms… it's kind of a mental thing too, though. It'll be really hard to stop since I still believe I'm worthless and I deserve the pain…" He rubbed his arms absently, staring at the ceiling.
"Since it is a kind of addiction, I think you should see some sort of therapist. I would be more than happy to help pay for it. I am going to find some sort of cuff because it might help. If you find a blade, it might help you realize what you are doing and maybe you would stop trying to cut as often? I don't know…" Irene sighs. "How are you feeling, stomach-wise?"