forum Big Brother: Gay Edition (MATURE, Enter at own risk!)

Started May 16, 2020 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

"I don't want to either." Derlik looked down, letting out a small sigh.

"But we don't really get a choice. Even if I died, I'm still tied to Halm."

"Yes, that's right… And I'm sorry it has to be like this." Derlik pressed his head gently on Nix's, letting out a breath.

"Mm… I guess if I died, I wouldn't have my memories, at least…" He said softly.

"Hey." Derlik cupped Nix's cheeks, having him look up. "That isn't a good way out of this, Nix. Then he could do whatever he wanted and you wouldn't know how to say no.

Nix shrugged a bit, his eyes dull and shining with tears. "But… at least I wouldn't feel like this anymore. And he can't do anything right now anyway…"

"You wouldn't remember who I am, either," Derlik said softly. He rubbed Nix's cheek with his thumb, kissing Nix's forehead and pulling him close. "Or Cas, or anyone else."

Nix looked away, turning his ears back again. "But… Cas doesn't need me anymore. He has Zachary."

"That's not true. Even with Zachary tricking him, I'm sure he still cares about you. He might not need you to be like before, but how do you think he'll react to losing you?" Derlik let Nix look away, but he held the other close still, kissing his head gently.

Nix shrugged a bit. "Dunno… I'm sure he'd get over it eventually. He has Zachary to help him with that kinda thing now."

"What about me, Nix?" Derlik was doing his best to talk Nix out of this idea, even though he was more used to talking people into it.

"I'm sure you'd get over it too. I'm not even sure I count as human, and I'd come back anyway, just without my memories. I'm just one useless little soul of trillions. My death would have remarkably little impact."

"You're not just one out of trillions, Nix. I don't care about trillions of other souls- I care about you. It would make such a massive impact if you left like that…"

"You would forget about me eventually. You're Immortal or whatever." Nix huffed a bit. "And everyone else would forget me even faster than you, so…"

"I wouldn't," Derlik said. "Trust me, there have been people I've tried to forget, but I haven't." Derlik looked away for a moment.
"Please, Nix…"

"Well… is one person missing me really worth it?" Nix asked quietly. "Is that really enough of a reason?"

"Yes, it is," Derlik asserted. He hugged Nix close, hand going to his cheek.

"I dunno if you really get to decide what's a good reason for me or not, though… I'm my own person…"

"Yes, you are," Derlik agreed. "But when it comes to something like this… Nix, please."

Nix huffed, narrowing his eyes and looking away to try and hide the tears welling up in them.

"Please, Nix, I don't want to lose you." Derlik pulled Nix closer, tucking his head gently against the other's.

Nix whined softly in protest, turning his ears back again. "You guys don't really need me…"

"Yes, we do." Derlik kept Nix close, pressing a soft kiss to his head again.

"What for? What do I really do that's actually helpful, honestly? I'm helpless. I can't cook, I can't read or write, I can't… I can't do much of anything."