forum Your personal venting space.
Started by @The-N-U-T-Cracker
tune

people_alt 117 followers

Deleted user

I feel so worthless and pathetic like I'm an absolute waste of human life

Das no good. Why? And you are not in any way a waste, by the way, quiet the opposite.

@ravens

I feel so worthless and pathetic like I'm an absolute waste of human life

no!!!! stop that!! You are worth so much to us, Ella. I personally consider you to be one of my (online) best friends. Love you, girl <3

@Trix

Hold on. Let her vent. This is the venting chat.

Well yes of course but if she wants to after she's welcome!

Oh it wasn't really directed at anyone, there was a lot happening and I wanted to let her feel free to rant it out.

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

Why?

I can't seem to do anything…
I'm falling behind on every possible thing you can fall behind on, school, artwork, writing, working, exercising, cleaning, socializing, taking care of your own health… you name it.

I haven't accomplished anything major within the past month or two, all I ever do is curl up in a ball watching YouTube while procrastinating all of my responsibilities, and it's gotten to the point where even my parents have noticed… (That's weird, they never seem to notice anything wrong with me…) But instead of trying to help or encourage me to actually do stuff so I can get my life back together and have hope for my own future, my mom just walks into my room every once in a while, makes a comment on how lazy or worthless I am, makes me feel guilty over something, and then leaves.

Even when I don't procrastinate and actually try my best to accomplish something, I can't do it, It's like I keep getting worse…

I had made so much progress at the beginning of the year, I'd started exercising, fixed my slouching issue, started praying more often, even managed to get over my severe nail biting habit that's been negatively affecting me for years now… It's all gone. All that progress is gone. Somewhere along my path to becoming a better, more likable human, I've managed to somehow retreat backwards, give up on everything, lose all the qualities that make me even remotely likeable, and fall into a ditch.

I keep coming up with excuses but I really only have myself to blame… I dug myself into this hole, I'm too much of a pathetic little chicken to try and climb my way out, so I'm hiding at the bottom until either someone fixes my problems for me or I die here. Either way is fine at this point.

And since I'm an absolute idiot, instead of working on these things, I sit around stressing about what the future will be like for me if I don't ever improve.
Considering I have basically no education, talent, or really anything, I doubt I'll be able to find a sustainable career that'll allow me to actually follow my dreams and live a somewhat happy life. What's that? I can draw? oH yeah, that'll help me so much, the one path infamous for never having any success because everyone's just gonna steal your work and leave you to starve, I'm sure that'll benefit me so much.

…This rant's gone in 48 directions all at once (Just like my mental state!), I doubt it made any sense, I'm sorry for making you read all that, aaaghghasggvgiuhjb knjklhbhvgfutch vbhjihbkjnkmsnabkhfhlknbsvhbklkn.mlk

@Trix

Like, since you feel like you're being 'useless' and whatnot, what is it that you want to do in life?

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

Why?

I can't seem to do anything…
I'm falling behind on every possible thing you can fall behind on, school, artwork, writing, working, exercising, cleaning, socializing, taking care of your own health… you name it.

I haven't accomplished anything major within the past month or two, all I ever do is curl up in a ball watching YouTube while procrastinating all of my responsibilities, and it's gotten to the point where even my parents have noticed… (That's weird, they never seem to notice anything wrong with me…) But instead of trying to help or encourage me to actually do stuff so I can get my life back together and have hope for my own future, my mom just walks into my room every once in a while, makes a comment on how lazy or worthless I am, makes me feel guilty over something, and then leaves.

Even when I don't procrastinate and actually try my best to accomplish something, I can't do it, It's like I keep getting worse…

I had made so much progress at the beginning of the year, I'd started exercising, fixed my slouching issue, started praying more often, even managed to get over my severe nail biting habit that's been negatively affecting me for years now… It's all gone. All that progress is gone. Somewhere along my path to becoming a better, more likable human, I've managed to somehow retreat backwards, give up on everything, lose all the qualities that make me even remotely likeable, and fall into a ditch.

I keep coming up with excuses but I really only have myself to blame… I dug myself into this hole, I'm too much of a pathetic little chicken to try and climb my way out, so I'm hiding at the bottom until either someone fixes my problems for me or I die here. Either way is fine at this point.

And since I'm an absolute idiot, instead of working on these things, I sit around stressing about what the future will be like for me if I don't ever improve.
Considering I have basically no education, talent, or really anything, I doubt I'll be able to find a sustainable career that'll allow me to actually follow my dreams and live a somewhat happy life. What's that? I can draw? oH yeah, that'll help me so much, the one path infamous for never having any success because everyone's just gonna steal your work and leave you to starve, I'm sure that'll benefit me so much.

…This rant's gone in 48 directions all at once (Just like my mental state!), I doubt it made any sense, I'm sorry for making you read all that, aaaghghasggvgiuhjb knjklhbhvgfutch vbhjihbkjnkmsnabkhfhlknbsvhbklkn.mlk

Well, then I'll help you with all those things! I can give you a personalized workout plan, self-improvement promps, and I'll try to bolster your confidence the best I can! Let's do this!
At your request of course!

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

what is it that you want to do in life?

Well, I don't really know that either… I mostly want to travel the world, learn new languages, see different cultures, hear new music, try new foods, meet new people… Really anything other than what my life is now, which is being trapped in a single place all alone for months on end as each day repeats itself with minimal changes while I slowly lose my mind.

…However, that goal is quite unrealistic and completely contradicts another more realistic dream, which is to become a nun and devote my life to the only thing that hasn't yet failed me.

But then that goal, despite still allowing me to paint, sing, and socialize, requires me to give up all my other dreams along with everything I know and love to hide away in the same place for months on end with little to no outside activity as each day repeats itself with minimal changes.
…Just like my life is now.

Then one of my other dreams is to become one of those animated storytime youtubers, it would be perfect for me because it combines the only three things I'm good at, drawing, talking about myself when literally no one asked for it, and watching videos on the internet.

In other words, I have no clue

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

Well, then I'll help you with all those things! I can give you a personalized workout plan, self-improvement promps, and I'll try to bolster your confidence the best I can! Let's do this!
At your request of course!

Really? That would be amazing, like seriously, thank you so much-

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

Well, then I'll help you with all those things! I can give you a personalized workout plan, self-improvement promps, and I'll try to bolster your confidence the best I can! Let's do this!
At your request of course!

Really? That would be amazing, like seriously, thank you so much-

It's no problem I love this type of stuff!

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