forum Your personal venting space.
Started by @The-N-U-T-Cracker
tune

people_alt 117 followers

@Fraust

Okay cool.
So I legitimately hate my sister as a person. Like, if I weren't related to her, she's the kind of person I would actively avoid. And yet, I see her several times a week, even though she moved out. She's a self centered, ignorant, bossy, sensitive bitch, and I can't stand her.
I can't think about the future without basically having an existential crisis. Just thinking about how much longer I'm going to have to live without feeling like I have any purpose is unbearable. Thinking about the future just makes me feel more depressed than I already am (which is very).
One of my friends insists that depression is just a state of mind. I'm hard to offend, but that really pisses me off. Like, depression isn't just "The lens through which you see the world"?? It's literally a mental disorder that can't be fixed by just thinking happy thoughts?? And like, his life is so easy and he's never experienced any of the shit I've gone through, so he just can't understand what it's like to have no hope for the future.
I've hurt myself twice before. Sometimes, I want to do it again, but I'm a coward. I want to die, and at the same time, I don't, because I don't really know for sure whether I'd go to heaven or hell.
My mother doesn't really know who I am as a person. She still talks to me like I'm my sister, but I'm nothing like my sister. I think I might be a psychopath, but my mother won't take it seriously and doesn't think I display any of the traits. I don't really experience guilt, empathy, or sympathy, my emotions are volatile, and so many other things. I lied to her just during that conversation and felt nothing.
There's a lot more things, but I'll end for right now with this: My dad got me sick because he won't stop hugging me or like, touching my back even though he's sick and contagious?? And like, I'm pissed about it because I might not be able to go to the cat cafe or the new counselor I'm supposed to see tomorrow, and I really need that. One more thing, actually. My brother is basically abusive and likes to hit me, but he just thinks it's funny because he forgets that I have bad anxiety and it actually hurts and I'm legitimately scared of things coming towards me, specifically my face.
This has been my Ted talk, to be continued at some point most likely

@Fraust

I like that I can actually talk to you people and y'all aren't just like "Lies! You're nothing like that!" You like, actually try to help and stuff

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

Okay cool.
So I legitimately hate my sister as a person. Like, if I weren't related to her, she's the kind of person I would actively avoid. And yet, I see her several times a week, even though she moved out. She's a self centered, ignorant, bossy, sensitive bitch, and I can't stand her.

Mine is literally the same way, I think, maybe our view on what those words mean is different but they all apply. Anyway I wish you luck!

I can't think about the future without basically having an existential crisis. Just thinking about how much longer I'm going to have to livee without feeling like I have any purpose is unbearable. Thinking about the future just makes me feel more depressed than I already am (which is very).

I used to be the same way a few years back and I wish you luck here as well.

One of my friends insists that depression is just a state of mind. I'm hard to offend, but that really pisses me off. Like, depression isn't just "The lens through which you see the world"?? It's literally a mental disorder that can't be fixed by just thinking happy thoughts?? And like, his life is so easy and he's never experienced any of the shit I've gone through, so he just can't understand what it's like to have no hope for the future.

Yeah, depression is much more than just a crummy outlook, it can impact every part of your life. I have a pamphlet I made on how to deal with it if you want me to PM it to you man.

I've hurt myself twice before. Sometimes, I want to do it again, but I'm a coward. I want to die, and at the same time, I don't, because I don't really know for sure whether I'd go to heaven or hell.
My mother doesn't really know who I am as a person. She still talks to me like I'm my sister, but I'm nothing like my sister. I think I might be a psychopath, but my mother won't take it seriously and doesn't think I display any of the traits. I don't really experience guilt, empathy, or sympathy, my emotions are volatile, and so many other things. I lied to her just during that conversation and felt nothing.
There's a lot more things, but I'll end for right now with this: My dad got me sick because he won't stop hugging me or like, touching my back even though he's sick and contagious?? And like, I'm pissed about it because I might not be able to go to the cat cafe or the new counselor I'm supposed to see tomorrow, and I really need that. One more thing, actually. My brother is basically abusive and likes to hit me, but he just thinks it's funny because he forgets that I have bad anxiety and it actually hurts and I'm legitimately scared of things coming towards me, specifically my face.
This has been my Ted talk, to be continued at some point most likely

Again, I wish you luck, if there's anything I can do, lemme know

@Fraust

Kinda curious about the pamphlet, honestly. I mean, I don't know exactly how much it would help, but it couldn't hurt

Deleted user

I'm starting to think that a lot of parents don't know how anxiety works… it's really sad.

Deleted user

I'm starting to think that no one knows what anxiety really is.

Deleted user

I’m starting to think my parents don’t know how anxiety works.

I'm already the online parent of Trix and Con so I can adopt you too. I adopt people online whos parents treat them badly or are just generally annoying. Deal with it.

Deleted user

(Wait is that a reference or just in general…?)

@hollow-boned

i was on my mom's phone taking pics of trees (they took my phone two yrs ago) and i found some old pics from when i was out and my hair was super short and i did both our makeup for fun and i took pics of us and we looked happy and now i'm very sad. i just don't understand why she'd want me to go from that to this. does she not see i've just gotten better at fake-smiling?

@GameMaster group

Please adopt me. They don’t understand why it’s stressful for me to do activities that they like and I don’t. Usually I end up getting yelled at and then I’m triggered and just freaking dying the rest of the day. They also keep asking me why I’m sooo tired all the time and why I stay up late. Fun fact: I DONT REALLY HAVE A CHOICE BECAUSE MY DAMN BRAIN WONT SHUT UP AT LIKE FOUR AM. So yeah I’m getting kinda pissed off.

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