forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

Yessss the planet parade!! I’m sort of staying up for that as well even though I got knocked out by my meds for a while there

Ok literally what is it about being in a retail setting that makes some grown ass adults act like actual children? Like I'm literally trying to make things easier for these people and they all just decide that they're going to mouth off to me because they want to be special and they don't want the rules to apply to them. I'm trying to direct you to a shorter line, but ok fine stay where you are and block everyone else. I hope everyone in front of you takes forever. GOD I hate customers so much.
And before someone says "but aren't YOU a customer when you're off the clock?"
Yes, BUT when a employee tells me to do something I would simply listen to them. It's literally that simple. I never want to be the kind of customer that an employee goes home and complains about. I can't wait to get out of retail oh my god.
TL;DR F*** customers.

Just while I'm at, screw my landlords as well. Half the outlets in my apartment have stopped randomly, and it's been a week and nothing's been done about it. Don't worry though, they at least let me know that my rent was being increased.
And lastly, screw the guy who almost hit not just me, but the guy ahead of me as well. Don't know why he thought it was a good idea to turn left out of a parking lot onto a busy highway when there lots of traffic and clearly no room. But what baffles me even more is the fact that he just kept going after almost hitting the first guy. Don't know who needs to hear this, but if you're ever turning out of a parking lot onto a busy highway the people on the busy highway have the right of way.

Ok I think I'm done. Today was a great day.

May your weary soul be granted peace

TL;DR F*** customers.

Hell yeah
~ a barista who's had Enough

Been frying my brain over college classes recently

busting my buns to take all these hard classes my senior year (this year) so I don't have to deal with it in college—

tw delusion

I know it's probably the least some of you guys have experienced. It's just all happening very fast for me and its never gone past just exhaustion. this is a new level I don't know how to deal with.

Guess whose spiraling again

TW: religion, homophobia, transphobia (nothing transphobia was mentioned but given the church's beliefs I wouldn't put it past them), thanatophobia, death, domestic violence, Covid 19, H3nt@i mention

Ok honestly shipping fees are such bs. I went to order some refills for one of my copics on Amazon and it was like $8 which isn't a lot. The cheapest option for shipping was double the price of the original item. If I wanted express delivery (which I actually did) then the total cost came to $60.
Like wtf it would cost me less just to buy a whole new marker at that point?
I ended up buying 3 refills on another website for the same price that I would have paid for 1 on Amazon. I would do so much more online shopping if shipping fees didn't like, triple the price of an item.

Spoiler - click to show.

TLDR: I still don't want to grasp all of the beliefs, particularly that homosexuality is a sin and a "choice", that I must fear the same god I must love, or that everyone else is wrong and doomed to eternal suffering but I don't want to disappoint my Mom, who I'm certain is trying to reconnect us and herself to God.

Ok, First of all I want to establish that I've been in extremally similar situation concerning religion, I know exactly how you feel, And I've managed to strike a balance where I'm able to appreciate and grow from religion with out losing myself.

TW: Lots of talk about religion, and Homophobia specifically, All though if you struggle with your mental health in Religion I would recommend giving it a read. As always stay Intune with yourself while reading and stop if it starts to trigger you.

The first thing I would figure out is if your Mom is committed to attending this specific congregation, and denomination. I know depending on the Church that might be a big Taboo or whatever, but screw that honestly. This is America, Millions of people try to become citizens of this country for it's famed religious freedom, Exercise that right. Chances are no Christian based church is going to be able to fight you on that with out putting their foot in their mouth. Another maybe hot take, Who are we to tell God how he can and Can't talk to his people, People have died, and continue to die for their religion, they wouldn't do that if they weren't completely sure of their faiths validity, and who are we to say it isn't.

This concludes my reeeaaaally long winded advice on this subject. If you need anything feel free to message me.

And also I did not go back and check for typo's I'm sure there are plenty but I need to do homework.

Spoiler - click to show.

TLDR: I still don't want to grasp all of the beliefs, particularly that homosexuality is a sin and a "choice", that I must fear the same god I must love, or that everyone else is wrong and doomed to eternal suffering but I don't want to disappoint my Mom, who I'm certain is trying to reconnect us and herself to God.

Ok, First of all I want to establish that I've been in extremally similar situation concerning religion, I know exactly how you feel, And I've managed to strike a balance where I'm able to appreciate and grow from religion with out losing myself.

TW: Lots of talk about religion, and Homophobia specifically, All though if you struggle with your mental health in Religion I would recommend giving it a read. As always stay Intune with yourself while reading and stop if it starts to trigger you.

The first thing I would figure out is if your Mom is committed to attending this specific congregation, and denomination. I know depending on the Church that might be a big Taboo or whatever, but screw that honestly. This is America, Millions of people try to become citizens of this country for it's famed religious freedom, Exercise that right. Chances are no Christian based church is going to be able to fight you on that with out putting their foot in their mouth. Another maybe hot take, Who are we to tell God how he can and Can't talk to his people, People have died, and continue to die for their religion, they wouldn't do that if they weren't completely sure of their faiths validity, and who are we to say it isn't.

Spoiler - click to show.

To explain, I feel I should explain a bit about my situation. I grew up in an extremally religious home. I grew up being taught I should Priorities my religion above everything else, before family, before school, before myself. I am assuming you are talking about a Christian faith, So any and all quotes I will be pulling form the King James translation of the Bible.

Spoiler - click to show.

When I say extremally religious I mean In some way shape or form religion affected my every day, It was everywhere, every day of the week there was something, and I was totally committed and faithful in every way for a long time. And then I turned 13, and I made friends in high school who were a beautiful spectrum of personalities and beliefs, I was out of that carefully crafted bubble suddenly and I went to Church on Sunday and Youth group on Tuesdays, and Bible study every single Morning. And then I reached my senior year of high school and I couldn't deny the fact that I was a Raging Bisexual anymore.. And that was a big blow, to my mental health , to my life style to my beliefs, because even though I had accepted Co existence with LGBTQ, but existing as a part of that community? I will let you imagine what that was like. But here I am, Excepting and supporting myself and the others in this community, while going to a Church run Collage. I go to church every Sunday, and I don't get the anxiety very much anymore, it's still there but It's barrable

Spoiler - click to show.

Ok just some quick 'Preachy things' to get through. In Galatains 5:22 It says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith." Does any of what you just described sound like Love, joy, or peace. Because it most definitely did not to me. I think a lot of people that swear on the Bible haven't read it cover to cover, I don't think most of them have studied that book. I did, every morning, at 5:40 am for all four years of high school. I still do Religion courses are required at my collage I have 2 lectures a week plus homework, studying that book and other religious texts. Most people That use the Bible or religion to hate on other groups and discriminate haven't read it cover to cover, not with an open mind, not with the intent to learn. I know them, I've seen them. I see them in said classes at 5:40 am, I see them in my lectures. I don't know about you but I remember reading that we should strive to be Christlike in almost every section of that book, to be like him to follow his teaching, and Forgive me but I can't picture Christ being cruel or vindictive towards someone because they're in love, or like reading about people in love. I can't picture it, Can you? Ok this ends my preachy section.

Spoiler - click to show.

I need you to take time just to figure out what you personally believe. Not what are you taught to think, not what your mom, or your family or your friend thinks, what you believe. If you feel like that most aligns with Christianity cool, if it doesn't, also cool, figure it out, and then study. I would even tell your mom that your trying to figure out what religion means to you and that you have to go on your own faith journey and you might need to not go to church for a while, that's ok, you have to figure it out for yourself. Possibly the worst thing you could do is not listen to what your body and mind are telling you, which is that something is wrong. Figure out what you believe.

Spoiler - click to show.

I want to introduce you to the concept of Spiritual boundaries. Boundaries keep us safe, they keep your faith safe, they keep your beliefs and spiritual well being safe. It takes practice and time and patience. But I think it would be beneficial to you if you could establish the type of thing you are going to accept hearing about at Church and what you are going to tune out. Sometimes I straight up leave the building. I say, no, This is not healthy for me to hear, this is going to hurt me more than it is going to help me, Maybe someone in the congregation needs this, but that someone is not me. It's like viewer digression. If a Movie you watch starts to trigger you, you turn it off, you don't watch it. If you are reading a book and it start's to mentally hurt you, you put it down. Practice, It's possible to do/

Spoiler - click to show.

The last thing I would recommend you do, is when you are ready, you need to talk to your mom about this, where you stand, what your boundaries are and what you will and will not be accepting. I'm not saying be mean about it but have a conversation, a respectful one. She's your Mom, and Mom's are a lot better at understanding and learning than we give them credit for. You're her kid, you two can figure something out. (The healthy ones, I don't mean the abusive ones, those ones are undeserving of the title)

This concludes my reeeaaaally long winded advice on this subject. If you need anything feel free to message me.

And also I did not go back and check for typo's I'm sure there are plenty but I need to do homework.

Thanks, just putting this all out there really helped and your advice made me feel better

So really hot take but what you feel, what I feel, that doesn't matter in an objective world. You can either choose to explore the validity of the beliefs you personally clash with or you can shut your eyes and live as you see best without regard for the great mysteries and philosophies of life. I would advise against the second option but it's also a lot easier and you are your own person. Trying to find out if what you believe is right is a difficult path. It's not for the faint of heart, and many people can spent a lifetime trying to get a grip on it. Just remember that you don't know everything so be very careful how you judge others and do your best to respect the beliefs of others.

Me: just chilling this morning before school
My Stepmom: I'm drug testing you for nicotine and marijuana and if you don't pass you're gonna be in So MuCh TrOuBlE.
Me: :0

I talked to my mom on the matter and she just told me to pray about it. Maybe it's my fault for being so indirect, maybe it's just my flesh rejecting it. Either way, I don't have much of a choice in the matter. I'm worried that maybe I am being foolish in not believing and lying straight to my mom's face just so I won't get in trouble.

Yeah go ahead and pray about it. But use your brain too. Find people on both sides of the issues you're questioning and listen carefully to the different arguments.

I told my mom about being uncomfortable at church and she said she'll work something out. I kind of feel like I was worried for nothing.

Cool cool good luck

TW: Religious themes

Well some people do and some don't. Most people have the urge to believe in a deity which makes me think there is one bc we're programed to think so. Also the idea that we came from nothing doesn't add up imo.
Remember that there's a huge spectrum between There is no God and whatever you were raised to believe, so there are many possible options.
That said, your worry is realistic though bc people have a habit of changing beliefs to make life easier.

My moms knew favorite thing is to claim my sister is “bUllYIng mE!!”

Ma’am she’s 4, she can barely make letter that are consistently a similar size

I just needed to say this to someone

little vent - also um, im bi so if you dont like LGBTQ+ i would refrain from reading

so i have a girlfriend, and i love her so so so much, i'm never going to leave her, i care for her so much. but, some of her mental problems are rubbing off onto me (i just stopped struggling with depression a few months prior to us dating). i know im not going to take a break, break up, any of that. but i stay up late when she is having an episode making sure shes okay, even on school nights. (which im not mad about!! im more than happy to help) they're is struggling in school and i try in every way to help them, but they refuse it. i know it's hard to accept help, and im trying to give them rewards, or give her motivation, and also help her make a short list (i dont want it to be long so it doesnt stress them out too much) so yeah, im figuring out better ways to help them, its just taking some time.

big vent- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im lonely asf but an introvert but due to past experiences and a traumatic childhood, I hate the feeling of being lonely… literally almost 18 and not a woman in sight. the no bitches lifestyle suxxxxx. im actually about to go to third block today and pin a stupid mf to the floor by his neck and threaten his life. im going to try at least. i've never been the strongest, but I know how to throw all 140 pounds of my weight around.