My sister says a bunch of stupid/funny things every day and I need to document them somewhere so I don’t forget them.
If you want to contribute with other stupid stuff you’ve heard small children say then go for it, I really don’t care what happens here
“Hey Emma, how cold is it outside?”
It’s
I've taught my sister to say bleh bleh bleh like dracula.
(it's really adorable)
On Halloween I was trick or treating with my friend's five year old sister and a guy dressed as fat thor from endgame was passing out candy and when he gave her candy she said "Thanks Santa!"
My dad: shaves his beard
Emma: points at him
YOUR FACE IS WEIRD
yOU LOOK LIKE JESUS
my brother was sitting on the couch and looks up at me
mason: sheep
me: ?
mason: moo
(Siblings are so weird)
Emma: is given a stuffed giraffe as a carnival game prize
“So, what do you want to name it?”
…
I wanna name her…
She’s now practicing for when she gets older and has to do school
The subject she’s practicing?
Complaining. She’s practicing her complaining. She even said that when I asked her
She’s now asking if mom can make her a taco
But without the stuff in it
Just the bun
Emma: poking my arm furiously
Me: What do you need?
Emma: You’re a piñata so I’m gonna keep poking you until you give me candy
Emma: poking my arm furiously
Me: What do you need?
Emma: You’re a piñata so I’m gonna keep poking you until you give me candy
To be completely honest this is me
My sister: yells at me for Pajamas
Me: put's pj's on her
Mom: Leaves for program
My sister: Takes pj's off. yells about them being off.
Me: puts them on again.
REPEAT.
Mom: comes home
My sister: has no pjs. And a blue marker mouth.
Me: Yes I am cleaning the liing room. Yes I know her mouth is blue. No I did not do anything productive.
My animals are making a mess on my bed!
Me: …So pick them up
uGh I have to do EVERYTHING myself-
Gold.
Store owner: Here’s a sticker for being such a good customer!
Mom: Alright Emma, what do you say?
takes the sticker out of her hand
“My friend is alcohol!”
steps on leaf
Me: Why did you lick me?
Emma: …That guy told me to!!!
points at singular chicken nugget on table
Storytime
Today we had chicken nuggets and cheap applesauce for lunch, nothing exciting, so I decided to heat up some leftover broccoli & cheese.
well, she decided she absolutely needs some of this broccoli, and wasn’t going to stop poking me until she got some.
I explained to her that this was steamed, cheesy broccoli, not the type of broccoli she normally likes, and she kept begging for it anyway.
I gave her a tiny piece to taste it first and she finally left me alone.
…then she didn’t eat it for a few minutes, it got cold, and she started poking me again, so I had to microwave this little tiny piece of broccoli for her
but then it was too hot after being in the microwave for 5 seconds, so she made me blow on it until it cooled down, meanwhile my broccoli that I was actually looking forward to eating was getting cold
And so after blowing on it for a minute I gave it to her yet again, and this time she looked me straight in the eyes and told me to cut the crusts off like this is some peanut butter jelly sandwich from her grandma
She showed me what the “crust” was, I cut off the stem, put it on her plate, she smiled, all was well
Then she picked up the broccoli
Threw it on the floor
And then said “I don’t want it, you can have it” before walking away and leaving me to clean the cheese off the ground
I swear, this child just wants to watch me suffer
also wow I am bad at telling stories
This is an epic and a tragedy.
“HEY ELLA YOU’RE DRUNK NOW”
points at some guy’s nipple
WHY IS HE WEARING BLUEBERRIES
(I would die for Emma)