A motivator. A good one, for sure, but not enough to make her risk restarting hell in a new Court. “I won’t lie to Alina. She’s like that, she’ll figure it out somehow, and I won’t lie when she does. But you’ll be fine. Hopefully.” She looked off, tilting her head as though mulling over the possibilities.
Jin nodded. "You didn't answer my question of if she will be angry. I don't want this to strain relations between her court and mine. There is already far too much strain." The courts were nearly opposites. The Dawn Court, court of the sun and the day, of light. And the Night Court, court of the moon and the night, of darkness. The two were near opposites, it was little wonder that the relations were strained.
"Alina is not a worrier. That said, be warned that should you manage to anger her, it might very well be the last thing you do." Miyaki said, her eyes still slightly unfocused and in the general direction of the wall. "It should be fine. As long as I explain that It's not something she needs to get angry over at any point. This is entirely unaffected by the Court relations."
(one of my favorite RP buddies deleted her account so now I'm sad…:( )
Jin nodded slowly, then frowned slightly. "Miyaki, are you alright?" He asked. "You're kind of staring at the wall. And I don't know about you, but I only stare at people or things that I find beautiful and attractive, and…that wall is neither." He chuckled softly, looking at her.
((Aww. Who was she?))
Miyaki blinked, her gaze refocusing as she looked back up at him. "Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, sorry. Got a bit lost in thought. I was remembering the first and last time I saw Alina get mad. It was….slightly terrifying, even on my end, despite the fact that I wasn't on the receiving end."
(idk if you ever met her but Lori was her usual username, usually paired with different things like "lori-is-the-king" and "king-lori" and stuff)
Jin nodded. "I see." He replied slowly. "May I ask who the anger was directed at? Or is that classified?" He cocked an eyebrow at her. His hands were still on her hips, thumbs rubbing small circles, touch light, as if it wasn't even there. His silver eyes seemed almost to glitter, like they always did.
((I remember seeing her around, it sucks that she left dude))
"It was…one of the Fae of her Court." Miyaki said, suddenly growing a bit quiet as she looked down, her eyes on his chin instead of his face. "Kalifer Hyran? He-was very vocal about his dislike for me. Physical about it too." The half blank memories of the night, a week before Alina had turned the Court on it's head, flashed through her mind.
(yeah…she said she'll be back next year, so i told her to hit me up when she's back, but we'll see)
Jin frowned slightly. Physical…sexual? Or just beaten? He looked at her. "Miyaki… did he…force you into bed with him?" He asked softly, gently tipping her chin with his finger so that she was looking at him. His silver eyes were gentle, and concerned.
Miyaki's eyes widened, surprised he'd managed to hit the nail on the head so quickly. "No-not at first. At first it was just…you know, the usual things." She said, shrugging a shoulder as though that was an entirely normal way for someone to be treated. His gentle touch soothed the icy memories in her mind, almost pushing the thoughts out completely somehow. Grounding, for whatever reason. "And then towards the end of his time here…yeah. Well, sort of. Not really? I did it, so it's not like….too horrible, I guess." It was like she had managed to convince herself that what had happened wasn't as bad as it was.
Jin shook his head. "I don't believe you." He replied softly, gently brushing a strand of hair out of her face, cupping her chin in his hands. "I really don't. And besides. "The usual things"?" He shook his head. "I…" Watched my father hurt my mother for years, while I did nothing. "I have seen people in both healthy and abusive relationships. You said that he hurt you. So i have a hard time believing that you willingly went to bed with him."
"Of course it was willingly. I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't. Right?" Then why did it almost sound like Miyaki was asking him instead of telling him? She kept her eyes on his nose now, as though afraid that looking directly at him would bring out the truth she had worked so hard to bury deep down. "It was just a thing that happened. What he had done before didn't really play any part in that." Liar. While lying may have been harder for her, thanks to the Fae blood running through her, she was till part human. She could lie. And it was so much easier when she had convinced herself of the lie.
"That's not how this works." Jin replied, thumb gently rubbing her cheek. "It really isn't. You don't sleep with someone who has hurt you and abused you and hated you. I never have. No one else I know has." Not by choice, anyway. He sighed softly.
A crease appeared between Miyaki's brows as she frowned slightly, looking like she hadn't considered that. She hadn't let herself. Her head tilted to lean into his touch without her even realizing it, as she met his eyes. "It's not…? But it's what I'm supposed to do, right?"
Jin shook his head. "No, sweetheart." He replied, still holding her chin gently in his hands. "It's not." He sighed. "You're supposed to…even if you don't love the person you're sleeping with, you should still…still at least want to sleep with them. Last night, I gave you multiple chances to say no before we started. That's what people are supposed to do."
You're supposed to want it. That was such a strange idea to her, but somehow, it put to ease some of the doubts that had been plaguing her. Miyaki looked down, thinking about that, before looking back up. "That's what's supposed to happen. I'm supposed to have a choice?"
Jin nodded. "Yes, you are." He replied, kissing her forehead lightly. "No one should force you into doing something you don't want. No one. Not even if they are your mate, or a potential mate." He added, thumb gently rubbing her chin.
Miyaki looked like she was torn, torn between not quite believing that and wanting to believe him. So bad. But she'd worked hard to convince herself that it was normal, and something not to worry about. "I-didn't realize that….You're sure? Sure that's normal?" She worried, for a second, that she sounded annoying and like a broken record, seeking reassurance and confirmation over and over.
Jin nodded. "Yes." He replied. "Like last night. I gave you multiple chances to change your mind and say no, if you wanted to. You didn't. But I still gave you the choice to do so. That is what it's supposed to be like."
"So that's…if I were to sleep with someone else, they should give me that opportunity?" Miyaki tilted her head slightly, careful not to disrupt his fingers. It was still confusing to her. She had never been given that choice, not before Jin had, so the knowledge that she should have had it was strange.
"Yes." He replied simply. "They should." I can't believe she didn't know this. Did Alina not think it fit to teach her anything? He sighed softly, thumb gently rubbing her chin. "And if they try to force you, you are allowed to make them stop. That's how it works. Either they give you a choice, or you beat them up."
"I'm not-I wouldn't beat anyone up." She said softly, the corner of her mouth quirking up slightly into a tiny smile at that. "But I could leave? If I didn't want to? I could just…leave?" It wasn't Alina's fault she didn't know any of this. Alina had done her best with too much on her plate, and she had tried to teach Miyaki that her choices mattered.
"Yes. That goes for me, that goes for any other Fae. If they aren't giving you a choice, and you don't want to do it, then leave. Walk away." He replied softly. I wish someone had told my mother that it was okay to walk away. I wish I had said something instead of hiding like a coward. Instead of… He sighed softly.
“Walk away.” She repeated, her voice a whisper. Nodding, she stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around him in a quick and lingering hug. “Th-thank you. I didn’t-I don’t know how, but I didn’t know.”
Jin shook his head slightly. "You're welcome. And just keep that in mind." He replied, lightly hugging her back.
From the doorway, Morrigan cleared her throat. "Jin, there's trouble on the northern border." She said.
Jin sighed, and let go of Miyaki. "Is it the Cosina again?" He asked, frowning.
She gave a sharp nod. Her fiery hair was loose today, hanging to her midback, and her eyes seemed as black as midnight. "Indeed. Lanta is having trouble holding them back, even with Caedmon's help."
He rubbed his face with a hand. "Go back and take care of it, Mor. Use whatever force you need to, push them back across the border. I have to stay here for the negotiations." He commanded.
Miyaki jumped slightly when Morrigan cleared her throat, taking a step back as Jon released her. Wrapping her arms around herself, she watched the interaction, head tilted and eyebrow raised curiously. "Is something wrong?" She asked, the question open to whoever wanted to answer.
Jin looked at her. "Nothing you need to worry about. There is a wild group to the north of my court, and they often infringe upon the borders. That's all." He replied, then turned to Morrigan. "Understood?"
Morrigan nodded. "Yes. I will be back within a week." She replied easily.
"I know you will. Just help Lanta and Caedmon, alright? That's all you need to do." Jin said.
Miyaki nodded, reaching up to brush her hair out of her face as they continued talking. Pulling a small device from her pocket that looked half finished, she began fiddling with it, giving them a sort of semblance of privacy as she stepped towards the door. She should technically get going anyway.
Morrigan nodded. "Yes sir. And a word of advice? Watch your words. This is not your court." She added, then left the room as silently as she had come.
Jin sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew that. He knew it all too well. That he had to watch his words, all the time. "Don't open that mouth of yours unless you actually have something interesting to say, you brat! And keep family matters in the family. You don't want a repeat of what happened to Ekia, do you?" He swallowed, shaking away the remembered words.
Miyaki paused to let Morrigan pass, the redhead's words leaving an unsettled feeling in her gut. She turned to Jin, eyes bespeaking the truth to her words. "Your words won't leave this room, your Majesty. Not from me, at the very least." She promised softly, her entire face softening for a brief moment, the wariness and stoniness she carried around in her features gone for a second.
Jin's eyes flicked to her. "Okay." He said slowly. "Thank you." But can I trust her? She's part human; she can lie… He took a deep breath, shaking his thoughts away with a soft exhale. He swallowed, raking a hand through his hair. "We should…go. It won't look good if we linger in here for too much longer."