@Kinarymo
@writelikeyourerunningoutoftime thank you for the reply! i was getting a little nervous since it's the first time i've ever asked someone to criticize Narion :'D
You did point out some important problems and i'll try fix them any way i can. However, there were certain parts where i feel like you may have skipped some bits of information, but i'm going to answer some of your questions anyway :D
Looks
Narion has animal ears because on one side, she is believed to be a human – spirit halfbreed, and in this universe, spirits are usually humanoid creatures with features that indicate the animal they once were. So for example, an average fox spirit will have the body of a human, but the ears, tail and legs of a fox. So if she was indeed a human – spirit mix, she would only inherit certain features – like the ears (obviously, the ears are there for a good reason :V) Since she can’t see, she relies more on her hearing and the fact that they’re large and mobile gives her a more clear sound reception.
In reality, she’s not a mix, she’s part from a different specie. I talked about it in the „specie” folder i added, since i do not have access to the Specie feature this app has (need to pay fo dat) – i did not finish this section it’s still a work in progress. Her specie has something like a „true form” where they are more animal-like, with ears and all. They rarely show that form though, as they consider it too intimidating, so they took a different, more human-like form as to not scare people. Some of their original features have stayed, such as the ears and the large canines, while other did not.
The reason why Narion is confused with a human-spirit mix is because her specie was hunted down into extinction by humans long ago, so people get confused as to what she is.
Nature
Yeah, i’m still working very hard on this one since it’s still not good enough. But thank you for pointing it out! I’ve done some plot changing lately, so now i need to give them new motivations as well. She sticks with Tanis because he’s the only one who showed her how much he truly appreciates her, so she has some trust in him. Narion also helps Tanis because even though he keeps telling her he’ll protect her from anything, in reality she’s the stronger one, so basically she needs to be there to get him out of trouble. And yes, Narion is aware of how small she is and her inability to see, but she tries to use this in her advantage (like, you cannot use visual distractions on someone who cannot see).
Social
She’s just not interested in politics, she’s a kid and she has her own problems to worry about. As for the government, she’s not really fond of it either. There is one supreme ruler, who isn’t liked by many people because of how much the humans have expanded their territory under his rain and with them, they brought along many problems for the other native species. Many creatures were forced to leave, others have to live close to humans, which is not a very pleasant thing for them and some were even hunted into extinction, like Narion’s specie.
History
I’m getting the feeling you may have not read this section very carefully, as i did specify she was found by TANIS’s PARENTS and that she is in the care of an ADOPTIVE FAMILY. But please correct me if i’m wrong. Tanis also gets mentioned several times in different sections, including the background. They’re not related by blood, but their relationship is very strong. Being the only person left in his family after their parents were supposedly kidnapped, Narion means a lot to Tanis and he really tries his absolute best to keep her safe and happy. He’s also worried that she might eventually die because of her constant health problems, so naturally, he feels the need to help her in every way he can
Thanks for your help ^w^
