forum The Drug (Asylum/Lab RP) [closed]

Started May 24, 2018 by @_sleeby_rat_

tune

Kaz frowned lightly at how tense Vaughn’s neck seemed to be. He pressed his hands into the muscle a little harder, trying his best to work the tension out of Vaughn’s neck

Another shudder made its way through Vaughn’s body from the increased pressure. He exhaled sharply, feeling himself begin to loosen under Kaz’s hands and fingers.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” Kaz asked softly, alternating his touches between gentle and a little harder. He couldn’t help but be worried, it was just something he seemed to do when it came to Vaughn

“No, you’re doing great,” Vaughn mumbled, turning his head back to the side. He didn’t like that Kaz was so anxious, and he wished that there was a way to permanently reassure him that it was okay. “Don’t worry.”

“Okay,” Kaz murmured, going back to rub a little harder at Vaughn’s back. He mentally cursed himself as his arms shook slightly from his anxiety. He was just giving Vaughn a back rub, what was there to be anxious about?

Vaughn sighed softly, liking the harder rubs. But something was still wrong- Kaz was practically shaking now. He let go of the pillow, rolling over onto his side instead. “Come here,” he mumbled softly, motioning to himself before opening his arms.

Kaz felt himself tense a little as Vaughn rolled over. Had he accidentally done something wrong? He laid down next to Vaughn slowly, keeping a few inches between them just in case

(Lmao yep)

Vaughn would have to getover his own problems. He had his moment, and it was ridiculous. He had made Kaz anxious, so know it was his turn to make the other feel better. “It’s okay, I just wanted to hold you,” he mumbled quietly. He took a deep breath to calm himself, and also concentrate on not hurting Kaz a he pulled him right up against his chest.

Kaz made a small noise of surprise when Vaughn tugged him against him. As much as he loved the affection, he couldn’t help but second guess himself. Did Vaughn really want him around? Was he just hugging him because he felt he had to. Was Vaughn secretly tired of him?

Vaughn also moved so one leg was crossed over Kaz’s, just to hold him in place. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled again after a moment of thought. As much as he hated apologizing for things, he needed to do so for making Kaz so anxious.

“I already said it wasn’t your fault,” Kaz protested softly. He currently had no idea Vaughn knew he was so anxious, so he just thought the other was apologizing for shoving him off the bed

“No, not that. I’m sorry for making you anxious,” Vaughn pressed further. He tilted his head to bury his face in the crook of Kaz’s neck. He gently kissed at the skin, doing his best to try and calm Kaz.

“It’s not your fault,” Kaz repeated quietly. He loved the affection, sure, he just couldn’t seem to get the worry out of his mind. He knew he should just relax, but he just couldn’t

“Yes it is, I could feel you shaking earlier.. I’m sorry,” Vaughn insisted, voice muffled against Kaz’s skin. His fingers ran up and down Kaz’s sides absentmindedly, trying his best to calm him.

“I was just shaking because I was tired,” Kaz tried to lie. He felt bad about not telling Vaughn the truth, but he couldn’t stand the other beating himself up like this. It wasn’t his fault Kaz had anxiety that liked to pop up randomly

“You’re lying to me,” Vaughn pointed out softly. He breathed out softly, a light shudder running through his body as his lips left Kaz’s neck. He tilted his head to look back at Kaz, lips pursed.

Kaz glanced off to the side, afraid that if he made eye contact he might somehow increase his anxiety. "I…Yeah. I wasn't tired. I just kinda freaked out on the inside when you started freaking out and when nothing I did seemed to help at first the anxiety kicked in and started telling me you secretly hated me," he rambled, suddenly unable to stop the flow of words coming from his mouth

Vaughn thought for a moment before thinking, not wanting to make the situation any worse. “I’ve had to deal with my panic attacks on my own for a long time. So I’m just not used to having someone around to help me deal with them and get through them. The help is nice, and I really appreciate it, it’ll just take a bit for me to get used to it all. I’m sorry, and I don’t hate you.”

Kaz opened his mouth to begin apologizing again, but he quickly shut it. Stop apologizing for everything, you useless furball, his mind sneered quietly, causing Kaz to bite the inside of his cheek. "Are you…sure you don't hate me?" he asked sheepishly, ashamed of needing more confirmation that his worries were irrational and unnecessary

“Yes, I’m sure I don’t hate you. I promise that I don’t,” Vaughn assured, watching Kaz’s expressions closely. He tilted his head to press his lips against Kaz’s, lingering for a moment before breaking away.

“Okay,” Kaz mumbled against Vaughn’s lips, relaxing a bit at the other’s words. “Thanks for putting up with me,” he added quietly. He couldn’t help but feel like he had to apologize for his anxiety. He had just had to do so for so long he didn’t know how to stop doing it

“I love you, I'm happy to put up with the conflict,” Vaughn murmured softly, bringing his lips to press against Kaz’s again. Would he be able to deal with so much anxiety whenever Kaz needed him? He was still figuring his own anxiety out.

“I just…I don’t want my anxiety to give you anxiety, you know?” Kaz said softly, fixing his gaze anywhere but Vaughn’s face. “S’ kinda why I tried to lie about it.”