"I'm sorry," Kaz choked out, breathing ragged as he sobbed. He was getting blood all over himself, but he didn't care. He was scared and tired and…disappointed. Disappointed in himself for letting Vaughn see what he really was. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated like a chant, curling in on himself tighter
Vaughn collected the bandages that had been tossed onto the floor, along with the still damp wash rag. He stepped back into the main room, heading back over to Kaz. “Give me your arm,” he muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Kaz shook his head, shuddering as he curled in on himself tighter. "N-No," he managed between sobs. "Just let me bleed, it's not even that deep," he said, but he knew he was lying from the amount of blood he had lost. Huh. He hadn't even realized the blade had gone that far in
“Kaz. Arm, now,” Vaughn repeated, tone more stern that time. This was getting ridiculous. Blood was getting all over the sheets and blankets. They might get in trouble for that.
"O-Okay!" Kaz squeaked out, holding his arm out suddenly out of fear that Vaughn would…he wasn't sure. He looked away, trying to keep Vaughn from seeing his face since he couldn't hide it in one of his arms anymore
Vaughn held Kaz’s arm straight as he moved the cloth to dab at the cuts gingerly. He continued to clean the blood away from the cuts. He kept a tight hold on Kaz’s arm so he couldn’t move it,
The cut was small but deep, puny in size compared to the other scarred and half-healed ones that lined Kaz' wrist and a little of his forearm. Kaz winced slightly as Vaughn touched the cut, but he told himself to keep still. You deserve it. You deserved so much more, but you deserved it, his mind hissed and Kaz let out a quiet sob at the words
Vaughn finished dabbing the cut clean, wrapping the cut with part of the bandages. He moved onto his cut up palm next, wiping the blood away before wrapping that as well.
Kaz chanced a glance over at Vaughn, tears clouding his vision as he watched Vaughn wrap his hand. He had stopped crying as much, but he was still sniffling. Why wasn't Vaughn angrier? Why wasn't he hitting him, or…or something? He didn't understand. Why was Vaughn bothering?
Vaughn finished and got up, walking back into the bathroom without a word. He set aside any extra bandages, running a hand over his jaw. He wondered if he asked, if they would give him a shaving razor. Maybe he looked better with a bit of stubble? Hewas unsure, but it didn’t really matter at the time anyways.
Kaz watched Vaughn leave before turning his back and curling up on top of the bed. He was tired from crying, but the chanting in the back of his mind wouldn't let him sleep. Blood, blood, spill his blood! Be it his or yours in the mud! his mind giggled, and he buried his face in the pillow. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd suffocate in his sleep
Vaughn walked back in the room, lingering near the doorway as he watched Kaz for a moment before getting an idea. He walked over to his duffel, taking out an unused syringe and a vial of the dark liquid. He did not give this to Kaz before. If taken in heavy dosages more than once a day, it could cause severe organ damage. But it was five times better than the other stuff. He walked back over to Kaz, and without warning him first, jabbed the needle into the side of his neck, injecting him with the sedative before humming and walking back to his area.
"W-What the fucking shit!" Kaz exclaimed, recoiling away from the needle. He looked up at Vaughn accusingly, showing his face properly again. He looked like a mess, his face red and eyes puffy from crying. "Who the fuck gave you permission to stab me?!" he shouted indignantly
“Oh shut up, you would have asked for it if I offered,” Vaughn muttered from where he sat on his bed. He picked at his nails in a nonchalant way, like it was no big deal that he injected Kaz with a high strength sedative.
Kaz went to flip Vaughn off, but he found that his limbs suddenly felt like lead. A bolt of fear went through him. "D-Did you give me a paralytic?!" he asked quietly, suddenly terrified. Going t…ki…you, his mind gurgled, and for once he believed it
“A what? I don’t know, it’s some fast acting sedative- Midazolam. I use it all the time, almost the same stuff they give you to knock you out before a surgery or something,” Vaughn explained, eyes squinting as he read the small writing on the label.
Kaz felt his eyes droop, and he squinted angrily at Vaughn as he slumped back against the bed. "Gonna knock me out and…and…shank me 'r something," he slurred tiredly. Like this he couldn't even feel the sting of his new cuts, or the deeper pains in his bones
“No. Knock you out, yes. You need to calm down for a bit,” Vaughn said, tone low as he continued to pick at his nails. He frowned at a hangnail that had started bleeding. That was annoying.
"Fuck you," Kaz mumbled, shuffling so he was hugging one of the pillows to his chest. He felt heavy, but a nice kind of heavy. Something that drowned his mind and told him to just go to sleep. He almost listened to it, but he still wanted to know something. "Why'd ya help?" he asked Vaughn, dull grey eyes fixing tiredly on the other boy. "I got slapped last time someone saw."
“I’m not a complete asshole,” Vaughn answered simply, let’s stretching out on his bed. He didn’t want to include that his mother did the same thing to herself when she was a teenager. That was too private.
"Gimme a real answer, damn it," Kaz huffed. "Ev'ry time I ask, 's always 'I'm not as big an' bad as ya think.' Come on, you just walked in on me w' a razor, I think I get some kind of 'n explanation."
“You need to rest,” Vaughn answered, changing the subject. Kaz’s Words were noticeably slurred, and he raised his brows as he watched the other boy.
"I need to fuckin' die," Kaz muttered, only vaguely aware of it. He held the pillow closer to his chest, giving up on keeping his eyes open as he slumped against the mattress
Vaughn shook his head slowly. He watched Kaz for a moment before getting up, grabbing a change of clothes and walking into the bathroom, shitting the door behind him. He looked skeptically at the shower, turning it on as he got undressed, stepping into the water and closing the curtain.
(I believe the word you were looking for is "shutting")
Kaz drifted off quickly, the sedative kicking in far faster than he had thought. He was lucky, as it caused his sleep to be deep and dreamless