forum Marvel AU OxO?

Started November 29, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

"God, isn't it obvious, Steve?" Bucky replied, clenching his jaw for a moment and shaking his head.

"No, not really," Steve said with a weak laugh, searching his eyes for the answer he'd been waiting for. "I'm hopeless; I had to get all this from Tony. And– according to him, I haven't been too obvious either."

He glanced up for a moment, shaking his head again. I've been falling for you since we were fifteen years old. He ran a hand through his hair.

Steve let out a long breath, feeling the uncertainty beginning to eat away at his heart. "Please tell me," He said, nervously clenching his jaw, "Even if it meant n– I just need to know. What did it mean to you?"

Bucky's hands tightened on the railing again, and he hung his head slightly. "It…" he shook his head slightly. "I can't." he finally said. He didn't want to lose his friend and he knew that that's what would happen if he spoke his feelings aloud.

Steve bit his lip, looking down. He thought of a story he once heard, poised around the main question of 'Is it better to speak or die?' It's better to speak, He knew, and now– one of them had to speak. "I'll tell you what it– what it was to me," Steve said slowly, dragging his gaze up from the ground, "That kiss…It felt like I was being punished. It was…something I've wanted, for so long– only to have it as a show and nothing more. I wanted it to be more. I did."

Bucky looked over at him, surprised. "Oh. I thought…I…" He shook his head slightly, chewing on his lower lip.

"Yeah, whatever." Steve replied a little coldly, folding his arms, "Look– I know you don't want…that, and nothing has to change between us. I'm still your best friend– even though Tony made it seem like you wanted it to be more."

Bucky frowned a little bit. "No, I…" He ran his hands through his hair. "I do, Steve. I just…I wasn't sure how you…" He shook his head slightly.

Steve paused, his attention snagging on the one part of Bucky's reply. I do, Steve. "You…what?" He asked, his shoulder softening.

"I do want…that." he said slowly, looking down at the street again, a faint blush tinging his cheeks pink.

Steve blinked, his mind somehow racing and completely static at the same time. Oh. Tony, he– I said…And then Bucky said– Bucky wants– He swallowed, staring at him, "…You do? How– how do you know?"

Bucky swallowed softly, and nodded. "…yeah." he replied slowly. "I…I do. And…" He shrugged slightly at the second question. "I don't know."

"Hold on–" Steve said, drawing his eyebrows together though he wore a smile, "Are you saying–" He shook his head in disbelief, he wanted to stop talking and just kiss him, but he had to know, "What do you…remember about this?"

Bucky shrugged. "It's…all I know is I've felt this way for…a long time." He replied slowly, still not looking at Steve. "And you never had any idea."

"I never had…any idea–" Steve echoed, trying to understand how such a statement could be true. His mind was running circles, thinking back to all the times he'd caught a shy smile and wishing with all he had that it might be more than friendly. "Well then that means…you never had any idea, either," Steve said, wide-eyed and dumbfounded.

Bucky snorted softly. "Yeah, a couple of dumbasses, the pair of us." he replied, shaking his head a little bit, still looking down at the street, his brown hair hanging into his face a little bit.

Steve let out a chuckle of disbelief, sighing at how ignorant he'd been. "I'm shocked," He admitted, shaking his head and smiling at the man before him; framed by a sky of orange and pink, looking out as the afternoon breeze tousled his hair. "This feels like a dream."

Bucky shrugged his shoulders. "Mm." he replied simply, still looking out at the view, unable to look at Steve. He didn't know what he would do if he did.

Steve smiled softly at the view for a moment, letting the saturated feeling of relief wash over him like a photograph in a bath of developer. "Bucky?" He said, turning to him with the fondest expression, aching to meet his gaze like all the moments of losing and finding each other had finally let him have a moment of peace.

Bucky glanced over at him, biting his lip at the expression on Steve's face. "Yeah?" He asked slowly, looking at Steve.

"I wanna tell you something–" Steve said, pacing himself as he took a step closer. He smiled softly, his eyes flickering over Bucky's features, "–It's a riddle."

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "Okay." He said slowly, studying Steve carefully, wondering where all this was going.

"You're waiting for a train," Steve said, speaking slowly as he studied the man before him; those pale blue eyes that seemed so distant, yet so close. He wants me, he's wanted me for a long time. He's here, I'm here. "–A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter." He said, his eye flickering down to his lips, "How can it not matter; where the train will take you?"

Bucky frowned a little bit. "Steve, I'm not good at riddles." He said simply. "I don't…I don't know." He shook his head a little bit, looking at Steve.