forum Marvel AU OxO?

Started November 29, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

Bucky nodded a little. "Yeah." He agreed softly, glancing over at Steve and wondering if it was the same for Steve as it had been for him. With wanting to kiss.

Steve smiled, glancing at Bucky and the streets around them. "So," He chuckled, "What should we do now?"

Bucky blinked, and shrugged. "I don't know." He replied after a moment. "What do you think we should?" He asked, crossing his arms a little.

"I…don't know" Steve shrugged, looping his fingers in his belt loops, "You pick a place."

Bucky blinked. "I don't know anywhere." He replied after a moment. "Remember? I don't…remember enough to know if any places." He shrugged slightly, shaking his head.

"Well, let's just walk, then." Steve smiled, "And we'll go wherever you think looks interesting." It seemed appealing to Steve, to take note of whatever might pique Bucky's interest in the huge city.

Bucky nodded. "Alright." he walked beside Steve, his hands in his pockets. He didn't seem to notice the appreciative looks he occasionally drew as they walked, from lots of girls and the occasional guy. His eyes remained focused ahead, not really caring about the people for longer than a cursory glance.

"I'm thinking of introducing you to the rest of the group," Steve smiled, thinking of all of them together, maybe, for the holidays or something. "Maybe we'll all get together, or something, sometime."

Bucky glanced at him. "Group? Oh, the Avengers." he realized after a moment. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't think that's a good idea, Steve." he shook his head a little bit. "I really don't think so."

"What?" Steve said, pausing to glance at Bucky as they walked, dodging a skateboarding teenager,
"What'd'you mea- Why?"

(Guess what I'm watching rn? CA:TWS lol)

Bucky's eyes flickered. "I just…I don't know." He couldn't shake the feeling that he had done something terrible to one of them. Something like that. He frowned. "I just…I don't think it's a good idea, Steve."

(bahaahhh i have to pirate it if i wanna watch it,,i'm * ~ *~ hackerman * ~ * ~ *)

"But why? I think it'd be really good for all of us to know each other." He smiled a little, looking down, "They're like my…new family, I guess." I want you to be a part of that.

(Lol oof that sucks)

He shrugged. "I don't know, Steve! I just know that I did something to one of them that they'd love to kill me for. I don't know what, I don't know when, I just know that something happened."

"What?" Steve questioned, quietly stepping off to the inner side of the pavement with his expression tensed.
"What do you mean– kill you for?" How did we get involved? "Whatever you did…It's in the past. They know what happened, Bucky. They know that they fucked you up." Steve flinched, "I just mean–"

Bucky's face shut down, and he looked away. "Yeah, I get it Steve." he snapped. "I killed or hurt somebody at some point, and it's got something to do with one of your friends. So no, getting together and meeting them wouldn't be a good idea." his fists clenched for a moment, then he relaxed them again.

Steve sighed heavily and stared at Bucky, wanting somehow to punch him and kiss him at the same time. He let his eyes flicker at his mouth for a moment before looking away, You don't need to run. Stay with me.
"We'll figure this out. Whatever happened– we can figure it out, I know."

Bucky took a deep breath. "Not everything can be figured out, Steve." I became a monster, and you can't fix that. You can't change that. That my instincts are kill and hurt and lash out. "I'm not the person you think I am."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Steve said, almost a whisper, glancing at bystanders as they spoke, "I told you, I was going to help you. If you're not the person I think you are, then tell me, show me– who you are. That's all I want. To know you again– and help you."

(gtg to bed now. Good night!)

"I don't know!" Bucky snapped. "I don't know who I am anymore. You're telling me one thing, and my…the programming is telling me another, and goddamnit Steve, I don't know!" he raked his hands through his hair, not looking at Steve.

(gn!!hope the movie was good)

"I don't care if you don't know right now," Steve snapped back, "It's killing me that I don't know what you're feeling– I just want to be…open with you. I don't know how to fucking talk to you…or when it's okay to touch you or–" He sighed, throwing his arms up tiredly.

(it was)

Bucky clenched his jaw. "I don't know." He replied again. Voice cold, and even, and emotionless. Like there was nothing. "I don't know what I'm feeling, or anything like that. If you wanted that, then you should find someone else." He looked away.

"But I found you, we found each other." He said, taking a step forward, "Don't you want the same? I don't want anyone else– I don't want it from anyone else." Steve shook his head, trying to sweep away those words…I'm with you til' the end of the line.

"We didn't find each other! I was sent to kill you!" Bucky nearly shouted. "And I don't know what I want! Because you say one thing and my programming says another, and the memories I have aren't enough."

"But you didn't! You pulled me out of the river– I'm alive cause of you," Steve said, moving off to the side a little, "I'm trying to give you all I can– I know it's not enough, but we managed to stay alive after all this time, that has to mean something to you!" He clenched his jaw, shaking his head in disbelief, am I just a mission waiting to be completed?

"You stayed alive." Bucky jabbed his metal pointer finger in his direction. "I got turned into a monster, and they are not the same thing." His blue eyes looked dark, his eyebrows low and drawn together.