forum Marvel AU OxO?

Started November 29, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

"Maybe." Steve repeated slowly, looking back to the front, pulling out a flask and taking a swig before silently offering it to Bucky. This is just about how blasphemous things could get.

Bucky took it, looking at it for a long moment. "You know that neither of us can get drunk, right?" He said after a bit, looking at Steve.

"Yeah, I figured that out after…" He shrugged, "After." Steve nodded, stealing a glance at him. "I guess it's just for kicks, then." The quietness of the church brought him back to that night, alone in a dusty bar with the amber liquid sitting nearby, waiting for Steve to drink it and feel a little better. He didn't, but ever since that day, he linked drinking with the memory of loss.

Bucky shrugged a little bit. "Oh." he replied after a moment. He took a small sip, then handed the flask back to Steve, shaking his head a little bit. "I get it. I just…"

"What?" Steve prompted, almost gently. Anything to hear his voice and what was on his mind– Steve wanted nothing more. He took the flask back, taking a small sip before tucking it away.

He shrugged. "There's no purpose in it if it doesn't affect anything." He replied, meaning the alcohol. "It's like drinking juice, except less healthy."

"..Juice." Steve laughed lightly, "I don't know– brings back memories, for me. Or just a familiar feeling." It was a weird quirk of Steve's that no one else knew about; the fact that he liked to drink, even if it wouldn't do anything.

Bucky shrugged a little bit. "Alright." He didn't remember if Steve had drunk much before the serum. Before all of that. All he had was the memory of the dancing, and nothing more.

They hadn't even been drinking the night Bucky taught him to dance. The memory was crystal-clear to Steve, nothing blurred by the bourbon that still stood untouched. "We used to go out quite a bit." Steve said, "We'd end up having to walk all across town, after, but we never got lost. Except for that time in the park." He smiled.

Bucky's eyes flicked to him, and he nodded a little. "Oh. That… alright." He replied slowly. He studied Steve for a moment, then looked around the church again.

He doesn't say much, that's for sure, Steve noted, comparing him to how he used to be- charming and always putting in his two cents. "So…" Steve sighed, not knowing what to say.

"What?" Bucky asked, eyes flicking to Steve. He was quiet again after that, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Anything you wanna talk about?" Steve prompted, feeling like he was a priest at confession. They'd need more than a few Hail Mary's for what they'd gone through.

Bucky shook his head. "Not…not really." He replied slowly. He didn't want to talk about his memories. About the handlers that he remembered. Alexander Pierce. Brock Rumlow, too. Others whose names escaped him right now.

"Well then, what are you thinking about?" Steve offered a small smile, hoping for an ounce of something…familiar; distinct of his curiosities.

Bucky shrugged. "Nothing much." he replied, as honestly as possible. He wasn't thinking of anything that he wanted to share, in any case.

"Hmm." Steve sounded, slightly awkward. "I was just thinking about what you said earlier– about not wanting to meet the other Avengers." He'd said it was because he'd done something to them, hurt someone or killed someone. "I want you to know that right now, they know who you are. They know a little bit about what happened with HYDRA…and all that stuff." Steve sighed, "So they know what they're getting into…I guess– by having you here with us."

"That still doesn't change the fact that I killed someone." Bucky replied. "I don't remember who, but…if I…" He shook his head quickly, taking a deep breath and trying to focus.

So he did kill someone.. Steve noted, "…If you told that person…who was close to them? They wouldn't react like you think they will." He nodded, "We're all family…or as close as we can get to it. As long as we tell them right, they'll understand. I know they will." If only he could hug him now…just to reassure him and have a bit of the affection he craved.

Bucky shrugged. "Maybe they would. Maybe they wouldn't." He replied after a moment. "I don't know."

"But you don't want to find out?" Steve said, "We can give it time, but these people want to help. It might feel good to have some people on your side. And Sam makes really good pancakes…so there's that." He smiled a bit, imagining the Avengers at a breakfast table covered in food, Sam tossing pancakes from the kitchen to a plate, Tony complaining about the fruit not being organic and just…just happiness.

Bucky's mouth twitched. "I don't know, Steve." He replied slowly. "Please stop…trying to convince me of something that I can't remember enough about. I don't…" He didn't know what to say or do. He really didn't.

"Time." Steve said quietly, nodding slowly and looking at Mary. Time. That's all we need. He thought in a silent prayer. It reminded him of when he was sick as a child, the nurses at his bedside and his mother praying, clutching the cross pendant of her necklace.

Bucky took a deep breath. He sighed softly, and ran a hand through his hair. He shook his head a little bit.