forum | Lgbtq+ | OPEN

Started May 10, 2018 by @darkeyes

tune

Before he realized it Kaz had drifted off, sunk into the tacky couch cushions. He shifted a little in his sleep, getting a little closer to Vaughn as he did so

Vaughn tensed slightly when he noticed Kaz. Normally, if someone did something like that, he would have socked them in the jaw. But he could make an exception, considering he was too tired to really care. His own eyes fluttered shut, and he let out a soft sigh as he drifted off, head falling to the side to it was leaned against the top of Kaz’s.

(yesss lol) Kaz shuffled a little more in his sleep so that he was more laying against Vaughn. His head fell into the crook of Vaughn's neck, moving closer to the other man since he was warm

(Lmao what a cute moment. Fair warning, Vaughn will most likely freak when he wakes up)

Vaughn, usually tending to hold onto things in his sleep as a sort of ‘grounding’ tool, shifted so his arms were laced around Kaz’s wasit. His fingers gripped to Kaz’s hips as he did so, letting out a soft sigh.

(yep can already see that coming) Kaz squirmed a little at the positon change. He was a small bit of a restless sleeper, and he shifted again so one leg was slung around Vaughn's lap

(Lmao ye. When do you think we should do a skip or something??)

Vaughn exhaled a bit sharper that time from the contact before falling quiet and still again, Kaz’s body providing a bit of comforting heat.

(Alrighty)

Vaughn’s eyes slowly opened, his sight blurred with grogginess. He looked up at the ceiling and didn’t recognize where he was for a moment. But he soon remembered he had been at Kaz’s apartment. He must have fallen asleep while there. He moved to get up, but noticed there was a weight in his lap and partly next to him. He blinked a few times and tilted his head down, eyes going wide at the sight. Kaz was asleep on top of him?! And Vaughn was still gripping onto his hip with one hand, the other having moved to rest on Kaz’s thigh.

Vaughn gave a sudden curse, half shoving Kaz off him and back onto the couch as he leapt to his feet. His breaths were coming sharp and quick, and there was a heavy pressure in his lungs and throat. He didn’t have his medication on him.

Kaz was jolted awake, swearing something in German as he hit the floor. “Ay, what was-“ He cut himself off at the sight of Vaughn hyperventilating in front of him. He got to his feet, holding a hand up in placation. “Hey, hey, you’re alright. You’re safe,” he said, trying to keep his voice quiet but comforting

“Don’t,” Vaughn hissed when Kaz neared him, flinching back sharply. He pressed a hand to his throat, nails digging into the skin as he took in a few sharp gasps. He looked around, a desperate look in his eyes, something like the look of a caged animal. He suddenly bolted into the kitchen, yanking a window open. He was half sticking out the window as he took breaths of fresh air.

Kaz didn’t move, afraid Vaughn might react violently. “I’ve got some anti-anxiety pills in the kitchen, do you need some?” He asked quietly from where he was

Vaughn simply nodded, afraid his voice would come out choked. He still was Hal out the window, trying to remember breathing exercises he was taught as a boy during psychoanalysis meetings. In for three, hold for three, out for four. Repeat.

Kaz walked over to the kitchen, going through the cupboards until he found his stash of his old anxiety meds. He took them over to Vaughn, trying to give him the bottle without getting too close

Vaughn looked over, the same glint in his eyes as he grabbed the bottle. He opened it and didn't bother to check the dosage as he poured a few into his palm before putting them into his mouth. He dry swallowed them, coughing a tad afterwards as he grimaced. He stayed standing by the window, arms against the windowsill and his forehead on his arms.

Kaz stood there for a moment before sitting cross-legged on the floor a few feet from him. “Are you gonna be okay?” He asked quietly, concern clear on his face

Vaughn stayed in the same position as he had been previously. The pressure slowly lifted from his lungs, and he could begin to breathe normally again. He simply shrugged his shoulders at the sound of Kaz’s voice. But he didn’t want to think about that right now. Didn’t want to think about him. It just reminded him about how Kaz had been on him. Vaughn didn’t know how to properly deal with it in a healthy manner.

Kaz sat there for a moment. "Do…Do you need a distraction or something? Does physical contact help?" he asked, going through the list of things that tended to help him when he was having an anxiety attack

(Oof)

Vaughn shrugged again. “I haven’t dealt with this around others in a long time,” he murmured lightly. He didn’t know how to deal with it. He usuallly would just get a burning hot shower or something. Warmth helped.

"Do…Do you need me to leave?" It was meant to come out as an offer, but it just sounded sad. "You can make yourself at home and I can go out for an hour or something."

(I’d say sure, go on ahead)

Vaughn held up a hand and shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll go,” he said in a leveled tone, standing up straight and shutting the window.

Kaz got to his feet, still keeping his distance just in case. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I…" he trailed off, trying to find the right words. "I don't want you to go through something like this alone. Because it sucks ass when you don't have someone to help."

Vaughn shook his head again. “This is not your problem to deal with,” he responded, grey eyes narrowing softly.