Kas whimpered softly and sat back down, cradling his head in his hands. He was breathing pretty heavily, and he was really just focusing on trying to calm down again. "Sorry, s-sorry… nngh… oh god, I feel sick… I-I can't do this…" He whispered, starting to hold his breath in hopes that it would help. "I c-can't…"
Mori looked up a bit when Lis came back in, his gaze a bit distant. His hair and clothes were a mess, and he seemed pretty out of it. "Mmm…? Miss Lis…?"
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Tohru placed a hand on Kas' back and rubbed it gently.
"If you're not ready, to share, you don't have to, Kas. What's holding you back?"
Lis looked down at Mori, her eyes filling with worry.
"Is your head bothering you again?" She asked, kneeling down by him, "What do you need, Mori?"
"I-I dunno, I dunno, I just…" Kas groaned softly, still holding his breath. "I-I don't… I don't know if I trust all of them, you know? Even if they aren't averse to it, what if they just don't understand it and they make it worse? I haven't exactly been sharing my feelings a lot… what if they think I'm joking or something? What if they don't take me seriously because I'm just a kid?"
Mori nodded weakly and screwed his eyes shut, whimpering softly. "H-Hurts… can't… can't think… stomach hurts… everything hurts…" He mumbled, barely audible.
"Alright, honey… I'll get you some more medicine and water, and you can just rest today. I'm sorry you're feeling like this, but it'll get better with time," Lis said, placing a hand on Mori's shoulder and putting her bag down in front of her to grab the medicine.
"Listen, Kas. You wouldn't put this much into something if you were joking. People don't just pretend to have a gender crisis or pretend to be gay for attention. And you can be any age to figure that stuff out. Hell, I knew I liked guys by the time I was ten. I just didn't really have a word for it back then. Besides, if you can know you're straight and are the gender you were born as at your age, you can totally know that you're not. They'll take you seriously, and they'll do their best to understand. I know your parents, despite how much they may have loved you, maybe made you feel like you weren't valid in how you felt, but these people are way different from your parents. Way different from mine as well. They'll support you, and if there's any confusion or weird feelings from anyone, I can go talk to them and help them understand better."
"Okay… t-thanks, miss…" Mori replied weakly, curling up a bit tighter where he was laying on the floor. "How long is it gonna be until I feel better…?" He asked.
Kas looked up at Tohru meekly, his hands still on his face. "I-I just… it's so much to process at once, you know? My parents didn't support this sort of thing, so they didn't really talk about it. Hell, I didn't know that there were more genders than male or female until today, and don't even get me started on sexualities… I hardly understand any of it, and I don't know how much of it applies to me, so it's hard to figure out what I'm supposed to tell other people when I don't even know what's going on myself…"
"I'm not sure," Lis admitted, "You'll probably be fully better within a couple of weeks, but it'll start getting better soon. You just need to rest more. You haven't really been able to rest much with what's been going on, when that's really the best way to make concussions better. Sleep, medicine, and not pushing yourself too hard."
"It is," Tohru agreed, "I was pretty sheltered myself, so I know where you're coming from. It's super confusing at first, especially when you're the one who's experiencing it all. Like I said, you can just ask them to try different pronouns for you, and you don't have to tell the whole group anything else unless you want, but of course, you can still bring it up to individuals. And if you have any more questions, you can ask me. No guarantee I'll be able to answer them all, but I'll try."
"Mmmm… everything huuuurts…" Mori whined. "I just want it to stooooop… why can't we just… not be in a stupid apocalypse…?" He coughed weakly and grimaced, hugging himself tightly.
"R-Right… yeah… I guess I don't really need formal labels yet anyway, right?" Kas asked hopefully. "B-Because I don't really know what the hell is going on, so… I have no idea what I am right now. And you don't think they'd like… I-I dunno… get mad if I ended up not liking the new pronouns or something?"
"I… I know, Mori… I wish we weren't. I had a lot going for me before all this happened, and I miss it all. But, on the bright side, you're not missing out on much as far as medical treatment goes. Usually for concussions, the doctor just sends you home to rest, maybe tells you to take medicine, and tells you what to do and what not to do while you heal. Nothing fancy. It's just that you haven't been able to heal properly without resting," Lis explained.
"You don't," Tohru agreed, "And even if you never really want to use formal labels, that's completely valid too. But no, they won't get mad if you don't like the new pronouns. People really shouldn't get mad at something that doesn't affect them, especially when you're trying to find what makes you most comfortable."
"Mmmm… I don't like being tired all the time, though… I can't sleep well because everything hurts, and when I'm awake I don't wanna be awake because everything hurts." Mori buried his face in his arms and huffed.
Kas sighed, running his fingers through his hair again. "I wasn't really planning on doing all of this today… I don't know how well I'm handling it. It's really weird and uncomfortable, and yet… I still feel kinda relieved in a way, I dunno."
"Right… We probably need to make sure you're on medicine more often so you actually can sleep when you're tired. Here, take some of this?" Lis offered, holding out a pill in her palm and a water bottle in the other hand, "We should try raiding the pharmacy while we're here. Maybe find some liquid medicine for you to take if you're having trouble swallowing pills."
Tohru nodded. "Yeah. It's good to get off your chest. It really is, even if it's a little weird to come to terms with. But just know that you're not overreacting at all or anything. I was close to your age when I first told someone, actually, and I was a mess too. I just told my childhood best friend at first, and even then, I was crying so hard. I was worried he'd hate me, or think I was a creep. A lot of the same things you said you're worried about. But it turned out fine, and it'll turn out fine for you too."
Mori accepted the medicine and tried his best to swallow it. He choked a few times, and it took him several tries to actually get it down, but he eventually managed it. "Mmmm… y-yeah, that would be good… pills are hard…"
"Y-Yeah, thanks… hopefully I don't freak out too bad when I tell the rest of the group. I… uh… I don't wanna embarrass myself or anything…" Kas sighed softly. "It's going to be embarrassing enough as is. I don't need to be passing out or throwing up or anything."
"Alright, I'll see what I can do when the others get up," Lis replied, "In the meantime, you need to rest a lot."
"You'll be fine," Tohru promised, "Once you get there, you'll find the words. I'll be right next to you the whole time."
"Mmkay…" Mori closed his eyes and huddled up on the floor, trying to get comfortable. "This is all so stupid… d-don't wanna do it anymore…"
"Okay… I guess I've got a little while to relax, anyway. They're not all awake yet, right? We should probably make sure everyone's awake first."
"Me neither, kid. But you can. You can push through it, and the rest of us will be right here with you," Lis said, "Anyway, I'm going to go see if anyone else is awake, and I'll get back to you, okay? Just keep my water bottle for now."
"Yeah, exactly. That's kind of why I sent Lis on her way. To see if anyone else was up," Tohru replied, "That, and to get her out of the way of course."
"Mmkay, miss…" Mori accepted the water and sipped at it idly, still pretty out of it, but slowly starting to relax where he lay.
"Yeah, right… s-sorry for freaking out so bad when she came in here." Kas laughed weakly and closed his eyes. "I was… I don't even know how to explain it, actually. Don't worry about it."
Lis started down the hall, and looking through one of the doors that was cracked open, noticed that Levi was awake. She knocked on the door lightly, not wanting to disturb him if he didn't want her barging in.
"It's okay. Your first thought was probably that she was eavesdropping, right? But she really did seem none the wiser," Tohru laughed, "I wish I could be so… clueless is the wrong word, right? Mmm… carefree. That's more like it."
"Y-Yeah… it would be bad if she was eavesdropping." Kas sighed, looking away. "Not exactly the way I'd want her to find out about all of this stuff, you know? I think it'll be better to do it on my own terms. Then we can avoid misinformation and stuff."
"Hey Lis," Levi groaned, pushing himself up into a sitting position. He rubbed his eyes with one hand and patted the ground next to him with the other. "Come on in." He still didn't want to get up, but having some one in the room made it easier, even if they weren't Tohru.
"Yeah, agreed," Tohru said, "That said, I'm sure she'd be fine with it. But yeah, that would've been incredibly awkward."
He leaned back in his seat, trying to make conversation while they waited for others to filter in.
"Sooo… I'm gonna be honest, sleeping next to Levi is literally the best sleep I've had since I had to set out on my own. Not sure if it means anything, or if I've just been absolutely starving for the company of other humans, and this safer shelter did me in."
"Hey, Tohru sent me to check on you," Lis replied, not really thinking out how she worded it.
He'd sent her to check on everyone technically. Not just Levi.
"Sleep well?"
"Yeah, it definitely would've been pretty uncomfortable…" Kas sighed softly and looked up at Tohru when the man spoke again. "Well, that's good, I guess… it seems like you two get along pretty well, yeah? I think Luka and I have been getting along…"
Tohru nodded, feeling a little heat rise into his cheeks.
"Yeah, I guess we do. He's helped me out a lot, so it's hard not to like him. But um, yeah. Luka seems to like you a lot. It probably helps that the two of you are about the same age, but you two seem to click, when you're not shielding yourself off. Not that it's a bad thing. I know you've probably been hurt a lot and lost a lot of people, and it's… it's really hard to open up to others. You know, so you don't get hurt again. I've tried so hard to close myself off, but I just latch onto people so hard, you know? If anything happened to any of you, I don't think I could forgive myself."
Kas nodded, blushing a bit as well as he talked about Luka. "Y-Yeah… right… I dunno what it is about him, but I felt like I could trust him, even though I didn't really trust the rest of you guys. I dunno… maybe it's because he's my age. He's like me; just a kid stuck in a really crappy situation." And he's cute… He fidgeted with his hands, blushing a little harder. "I… want him to think highly of me, even if it's kinda stupid. It would suck if he didn't wanna hang out with me anymore."
"I gotcha," Tohru replied, "I don't think anything you did would change his opinion of you. Unless you intentionally hurt him. He's a sweet kid."
Tohru smiled slightly.
"I feel… I feel horrible I couldn't save his sister, honestly. I don't think he or his siblings could ever forgive me, honestly. It's just…"
"Y-Yeah, right… he's really nice…" Kas cleared his throat awkwardly and looked away, trying to fight down his blush. He looked up when Tohru mentioned Luka's sister, however, very confused. "Huh? What do you mean? Lilac and Bean are fine, aren't they?"
"Oh, shit… he didn't tell you. I guess it never came up-" Tohru gasped, "But it's no secret really, so I guess it's alright for me to tell you? There was- there was a fourth sibling… I met them at the survivor's outpost, and they dragged in this poor girl. She was bleeding to death. She'd been impaled on a branch or something. It… it was horrible. I've seen many a person die, but never a child. Maybe if I hadn't frozen up- Maybe if I had actually tried-"