Yuki felt bad for the first time since she came here. No, the first time since Apollo and Carla died. Yuki wasn't completely sure they were dead, but it was worse to accept the fact that they were still alive, suffering. She saw the hurt in Rowan's eyes and matched it with her own sadness and guilt. "No Rowan. I won't be with you to protect you. I will be a mindless monster set to kill the enemy. And then… I won't be there at all."
"Yuki, no! Don't say that!" Rowan' lower lip began to tremble. "I'm already going to lose Armand or Petree. You can't make me lose you too. You can't die. I'm coming with you. Y-You can't stop me!" Tears slipped down her cheeks.
Yuki's gaze hardened. Again her sadness would turn to anger. "Yes, I can."
"You can, but you won't. We're best friends. I'm not losing my best friend. You've got so much to live for Yuki. There's still so much left to loose! Why can't you see that? Don't you know how much I care?" She argued weakly, rubbing furiously at her eyes.
(Iunno what to do >_>)
“You think I can change? I can’t and neither can Harris.”, she said, angrily. She sighed and her gaze softened a little. “I used to have hope.”, Yuki said as she tried to remember what hope felt like.
"Just let me help you, Yuki. Let me be your hope. Please." Rowan grabbed onto Yuki's hand, squeezing it for comfort.
Yuki couldn’t change her mind. Couldn’t. She would kill Harris and Rowan would try to stop her. They would both die when the President’s soldiers came. “For the last time, you can’t come with me.”, she snapped. She pulled her hand away from Rowan’s. Yuki turned her back so she wouldn’t have to see her hurt face.
"Then… Then what's gonna happen to me, Yuki? I-I don't have anywhere left to go? What if Petree and Armand don't make it? Kodiak broke out. He won't come back for me. I can't be all alone. You can't do this to me." Rowan stammered, holding back sobs.
“Do what to you? Keep you from witnessing the bloody slaughter of Harris? My death? Keep you from dying?”, Yuki raised her voice.
Rowan flinched back, looking away. "If you don't want to live then I don't either." She sniffed. "I'm coming with you and that's it. I don't care what happens. We're doing this together."
“I’m not worth it. You have no reason do die. If you die because of me you die because of nothing.”, Yuki said, her back still turned.
"Do I have to prove it to you? Is that what you want? Because I-… I'll do it right now. I'll get myself killed right in front of you." Rowan's voice shook, but she stayed resolute.
“No you will not!”, Yuki shouted. Soldiers turned to look at them.
"Then let me come with you." Rowan demanded. "Let me come with you or I'll do it right now." Her eyes hardened, focusing on Yuki's turned back.
Yuki whirled around. “If you wish to die then fine!” She knew what it was like to have death thoughts. She wasn’t going to let Rowan, who had a meaningful life, go down the same path as her. Rowan’s decision hit her hard emotionally, but of course she wasn’t going to show that.
Rowan pulled Yuki into a tight hug as soon as she turned around. "I hope you understand." She whispered softly.
This time Yuki didn’t resist the hug. “I understand you shouldn’t waste your life. It was as good as it could get in this war.”, Yuki said. “You are a good person.”, she added quietly.
"I'm not allowed to be considered a good person until I save both our lives." Rowan grinned weakly.
“Then I’ll consider you an amazing person.”, Yuki compromised.
"You've gotta survive, Yuki. Who's gonna help me dye my hair purple?" She jested. She was so tired of this war. So tired of pain and crying.
"Someone who's actually good at it.", Yuki half-heartedly joked. "You'll be fine." Yuki got up and went over to a soldier with a walkie-talkie in her belt. She looked over at Petree and Armand in the arena and pretended to search her belt for a walkie-talkie. "Dang it! I don't have my walkie-talkie with me. Could I use yours?", she asked the solier.
"Um… Who are you?"
"You don't know who I am?! How could you not know who I am." The soldier looked confused. "Would you rather talk this incident out with the President? I don't think so!" Yuki was good at intimidating people. The soldier took the walkie-talkie out of her belt and handed it to her.
"My apologies miss."
"That's ma'm."
"Oh, sorry ma'm."
Rowan trailed silently behind Yuki, keeping her head low and pretended to be a beaten down prisoner.
Yuki took the walkie-talkie. "This battle is boring! Make them fight! At least send another official to get a fight started." Yuki would watch for where the high-ranked follower would walk out and that would be their first clue as to where President Harris would be. She slipped the walkie-talkie into her belt. The soldier was about to protest, but when Yuki gave her a glare she immediately bit her lip and looked down.
Rowan snickered a bit as Yuki ordered around officers. It was easy to forget they were going to die soon. She clung to Yuki and waited for her instructions.