Abrose nodded in understanding before he paused and crouched down by a bed of stark white flowers, small and ruffly but one of the few to have bloomed early. He reached out and lightly touched the flowers, their petals delicate and soft. "Then it speaks more of us than it does them. What reason do we have to continue fighting them if there is nothing else?" He couldn't understand why his parents wanted him to marry so suddenly. What would that solve? Amire seemed just as disenclined to marry as Abrose did considering hadn't even taken two seconds to learn his name. Besides even if the two did want to marry what would abrose do in a war torn country like Prythia. Chire was the crown prince, he knew politics and treaties. Even Lily was well versed in court formalities. Abrose was only begining, what good would he do against the war? He glanced over his shoulder, and tried to think of what Lucian had seen, not only in Prythia but in the years he had spent training away from Avrile. He reach for his hand and gently squeezed. "I can't even begin to imagine what you've seen and been through." He stood and resached up to place a flower he had picked into Lucian's hair. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I know I'm a prince but we've been friends far longer." Htiltwd his and grinned "what's that smile for hm, have I said something worth laughing at Callistar?" he challenged teasingly, glad that his dear friend was smiling again
Lucian didn't answer. He couldn't. He couldn't fathom why the two nations continued to fight. If it was a simple matter of human rights and fighting to protect them, he would understand. But this was simplely just war for wars sake. Perhaps it might have started out of a legitimate reason but now, now it was just to fight. And hundreds of thousands of people were dying in result. He had witnessed it first hand what it would do to someone.
"I don't wan you imagining," Lucian said quietly. It was not a thought anyone should be thinking, least of all Abrose. The prince was soft and kind and genuine. He should not be thinking of war or the horrors it brought. It would absolutely terrify him and break his heart.just the thought of his own friends dying had him stiffening and shutting down. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He wasn't there anymore, fighting for his life, his friends lives. He was here in the palace and in charge of the prince. That was his duty. That's what he was there for. He squeezed the hand Abrose offered him tightly, perhaps a little too hard. He hadn't meant to, he was just struggling in the moment. "And I will take you up on that." Lucian never would. He would never burden Abrose like that.
He just shook his head, a small smile returning to his lips. He bent his head down to allow the prince to place the flower in his hair. "Nothing, just thinking." Thinking about anything other than war and the horror he's faced. Thinking happy thoughts like Abrose gluing that prince's things down to everything so he couldn't use a single thing. "Let's get you inside now."
Abrose's brows creased, worry setting in as Lucian squeezed his hand. "I have to, if I'm going to help rule this and any other kingdom some day. War will be part of that. As much as I wish for immediate peace, that won't be possible without some progress." Abrose gently cupped Lucian's cheek with his other hand, as if he could take away the pain he saw in Lucian's eye eyes with just one touch. "These are my people, Luce. I want to know what happens to the people who have sworn their loyalties to me and my family. That includes the soldiers and guards. that includes the citizens. That includes you, my dearest Lucian."
On some naive level, Abrose thought himself immune to the horrors of the world. It had taken him years for him to realize the life he lived as a prince was a rare commodity. When he was younger, he hadn't understood why Lucian had to leave to become a soldier. It had felt like a betrayal. Then Chire and Lily started telling him about the war in Prythia and how not everything was as peaceful as it seemed. He had been worried, not only for Lucian but for the people sent to Prythia to fight, for the people of Prythia who just wanted to protect their own kingdom same as Avrile. When Lucian had come back, Abrose was unbelievably relieved, but also not completely blind to the situation as much as some wished he were.
"i'm serious. And if for whatever reason you can't tell me, there are always others you can talk to Luce. But please, don't think you need to keep to it all to yourself." he pleaded, braiding the flower in Lucian's hair loosely. "Thinking of what hm? Nothing good I assume with a mischievous smile like that." He idly toyed with Lucian's fiery red hair, half hugging him again and resting his head against his shoulder. "Okay, we've both had a long day. Theres a lot to think about too."
Lucian's eyes closed at the contact. Abrose was very touchy today and he found he quite liked it. Lucian wasn't touched often, not unless he was in a sparring ring fighting, but that was different than this. This was affection. The last time someone had been so kind to him like this would have been his mother from years ago. Years. How terrible tot think that the last person to touch him so kindly was his mother from years ago. Not even the person he had needed here and there had touched him so. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would jump out of his chest. "Perhaps one day I will tell you these things. You have had enough tonight, however. I won't worsen the night further with my stories." He would never take the prince up on that. He couldn't. He didn't want to see the sympathy or horror in his eyes when he told him. Lucian didn't want to be looked at any differently. He was still Lucian, just a little changed.
His eyes slowly opened, smiling softly as Abrose continued to play with his hair. Someone would surely say something when they saw the flower but Lucian would wear it with pride. The prince had given it to him and he would keep it until it wilted. "I'm just thinking of you being mischievous. An entertaining thought that would bring a smile to anyone's face." He looked down at the prince as he put his head on Lucian's shoulder. It felt so right, so calm. Almost like they fit right against each other. Lucian wanted to kiss him. He almost did, having already started to lean down. But then reality hit and Lucian was a guard and Abrose was a prince and his charge. This couldn't happen. It wasn't as if Abrose felt anything for him anyways. It would only be humiliating for Lucian when he was rejected.
Abrose's heart thundered in his chest at being so close to Lucian. He could feel the other's tickle his ear as they spoke in hushed voices. All Abrise wanted to do was curl up against his guard where he knew it was safe and warm and…he paused. He was going to say living but Abrose didn't know that for a fact. This could all be due to to Lucian's job. He was supposed to care for Abrose seeing that he was his personal guard. It had made sense to make Lucian Abrose guard because they were so close. That wouldn't necessarily mean this was out of any sort of love though. Abrose bit his lip in thought. Then how could this, their closeness, their comfort with each other, feel so right? He burried his face in Lucian's shoulder, not wanting think of a life where Lucian didn't care for him outside of their assigned duties.
"And what have I done that is so mischeivious?" He questioned, his voice muffled against Lucian's form. He didn't want to pull away but he knew sooner or later they'd both have to go back to being a prince and guard. He tipped his had back in time to see Lucian lean in close, his heart skipping a beat or two. He was tempted to lean in, to know the brush of Lucian's soft lips or to press further into his form. But then Lucian paused. Abrose flicked his gaze up to Lucian searching for the same shared desire. Perhaps Abrose saw something if he tried but Lician was ever the unreadable guard Abrose loved. He released a small sigh and tilted his head to the side to press a kiss to Lucian's cheek. "A thank you, for accompanying me out here." He said softly, offering a small smile before completely pulling away and tugging the scarf around his shoulders a bit more tightly, now feeling the chill in the air.
Lucian placed a gentle hand on Abrose's back as the small prince curled into him. He looked around, to make sure no one was watching them. The amount fo trouble Lcuian coukd get into was astronomical is anyone discovered this. He shouldn't be touching the prince. Lucian knew better and yet here he was, touching and holding and almost kissing the prince. Utter blasphemy. But he wouldn't want to be anywhere else in this moment. His eyes shut for a brief moment, just a second, to soak this in. He jad been in love with Abrose for a very long time. To touch him like this, to be touched by him, was so much better than he had ever imagined.
"Oh you know what you've done in the past. Don't play dumb." He shook his head, remembering the antics they had gotten up to as children. They didn't behave often. And because Lucian was with the prince, well, princess at the time, he had gotten away with it.
Lucian stared down at Abrose. He wanted and that was dangerous. He shouldn't want. Not him. Not Abrose. And yet he did. It was wrong. It was so wrong and yet it felt so right. He cleared his throat and raised his head, surveying around them. He needed to clear these thoughts from his head. Maybe guarding the prince was a bad idea. A very bad idea. It was resurfacing thoughts he had repressed for years. All to come back up in this moment. "You don't have to thank me, Abrose." He murmured. "You never do." I would do anything for you.
He stepped back from him and began to guide him back in the palace.
He laughed and shook his head "that is where you are wrong, my dearest Lucian. I have a great many things to thank you for." He followed Lucian back towards the castle, taking one last look at the few flowers and empty beds before the cold got too much for him and he hurried through the greenhouse doors.
"Perhaps I was wrong about Amire." He mused aloud, thinking back to earlier and of the prince, anything to keep his mimd of their shared moment. "After all, he comes from a war torn country only trying to do what he believes can save it. Maybe a marriage isn't in order but some sort of agreement. It's clear neither our parent are willing to speak so maybe it's up to us." They reached the hallway that had the three sibling's bedroom chambers and Abeose began to slow, not quite wanting to leave Lucian just yet despite his exhaustion. He rested his hand on the handle to his room but didn't go in yet, still thinking things over, Amire, the two kingdoms, how Abeose could possibly help, him and Lucian…if there even was something between them at all. "Would you come with me tomorrow if I do decide to meet with Amire? I know it's royal business but I'd still want you there if you're okay with it. I know the war must have been difficult to say the least. If you'd rather not, I'd understand." He offered, looking over his shoulder at his guard, in that moment willing to do just about anything to be back in his arms, rules be damned.
Lucian was quiet but there was a small smile on his lips. The prince had nothing to thank Lucian for. He had only done what the right thing was to do. But he was haply nonetheless that his actions were appreciated. He stiffened, smile dropping, as Abrose brought up the other prince. He understood the words he was saying but it didn't sit right with hom, Abrose talking about and to the other prince. The prince that had proposed. The prince that his parents were trying to force him to marry. A prince who didn't even get Abrose's name right. It wasn't a hard thing. It was two syllables. Ab-rose. Easy. Except the prince had gotten it all wrong.
Perhaps Abrose was right. Perhaps the two prince's could speak with their parents and manage to make peace with their parents. Perhaps there was a way to solve this without marriage. But with if it couldn't. What if the parents couldn't see that and forced the two to marry anyways? Prince Amire had been expecting a princess. But there was no princess, only a wonderful prince. How would Amire handle that? How would he treat him? Lucian grew more worried by the second as all the possibilities ran through his head.
Then a voice pulled him out of it. Abrose. Yes. They had been speaking and walking and now they were at the prince's door. He was asking him something, asking Lucian to come with him. Lucian would follow him anywhere he asked. "Of course. I'll go anywhere you need me to."
Abrose smiled and nodded his head, "See? I do have reasons to thank you, Luce." He hid a yawn behind his hand and checked the clock on the other side of the hall. "Its getting late. The ball should be concluding soon. I'll send Amire a note saying we'll want to meet with him privately tomorrow afternoon. By then mother and father should be busy enough not to disturb us." He didn't necessary like the idea of going behind his parents back, especially for something as important as this but he didn't really have another choice. After all, they hadn't consulted him on the marriage beforehand. if they wanted him to do something about the war, then they'd have settle for this. Besides, it wasn't like they were sneaking around doing anything wrong. He was honestly more afraid of him and Lucian being caught alone than him and Amire. He wasn't sure how obvious he and Lucian were but he knew his mother at least knew his preference to Lucian over other guards, hence why she had occasionally assigned him more than one guard. Abrose didn't particularly mind, he had been meaning to acquaintance himself more with the rest of guards, finding their company more enjoyable than most of the lord and ladies he had to pretend to be sociable around. So long as Lucian would remained by his side, Abrose wouldn't object.
e watched Lucian for a few moments, slight worry prickling at the back of his mind. Tonight had been different. He and Lucian were close of course, they had all practically grown up together. Chire had trained alongside Lucian when they were younger and dreaming of being soldiers. Lilly had always dragged him and Abrose to the woods to play and explore whenever they had free time. Lucian had been there when Abrose had confessed he felt more like a boy than a girl and had begun his transition. The only time Luce hadn't been a part of Abrose's life as when he left to be a soldier for the kingdom. Those had been some of the hardest years for Abrose but he had made it through, less enthusiastically but he was here now so he supposed it was all worth it, especially if Lucian was here with him now. But that still didn't explain what had happened moments earlier. Abrose was positive he hadn't drank so much to the point of complete inebriation.
The way how close Lucian was had felt so right. Being held by him felt like the most natural thing in the world, as if they were made to embrace. Their teasing remarks and soft words were something Abrose could easily picture them sharing every morning, evening, and night. At that, Abrose mind wandered from sharing words to sharing a bed, sharing soft touches and kisses, sharing a morning all meant for themselves with no expectations of a prince or a guard. A quiet peaceful life where Abrose could want, better, could have Lucian selfishly to himself. He flushed and rested his head for a moment against the door, letting himself have a few moments to revel in the beautiful dream before he tried his best to compose himself. He turned back to Lucian and gave a slight bow. "Forgive me, I've kept you far too long. Thank you again, Luce. I'll send for you in the morning. Until then, rest my guard. we've had a long day and i only suspect tomorrow will be longer." He offered a small smile before opening the door to his bedroom and softly clicking the door closed behind him.
Lucian pursed his lips. Abrose was set on speaking with Prince Amire and he wouldn't stop him. He didn't like it but he wouldn't stop Abrose. It wasn't like Lucian coukd. Once that prince set his mind to something, there was no changing it unless the prince cam to the conclusion not to do it. It was something he admired and loved about Abrose. That stubbornness. He loved it. He loved him. The thought made his heart ache. He was only making this worse for himself and yet he couldn't help but let his mind wonder. Wonder what it would bemike if they coukd be together. Where Abrose wasn't a prince and Lucian wasn't a guard. Somewhere they could just be who they were. Somewhere they coukd be haply and love one another, free of repercussions. But this was the life he was given and he would do everything he coukd with what he had to work with. And that meant living Abrose from afar. He had survive for this long, he could do it longer still. He had to. Until Abrose was married and left home, Lucian would guard over hik and give his life, all while Aborse had stolen his heart. Lucian didn't think he would ever get back. It was no matter. His heart was for Abrose and Barose only. That was okay.
Lucian's gaze turned concerned as the prince's cheeks flushed and he leaned against the door. Had the prince come down with something? Perhaps going outside had t been the smartest thing. Allergies coukd have gotten to him. Or maybe someone at the ball had passes something in to him. He was just about to suggest taking Abrose to the infirmary to have him checked out when the prince spoke again.
Lucian bowed his head. "Anything for you, my prince," he murmured the words. They were barely audible but they still reached the prince's ears. Lucian cleared his throat. "I will see you in the morning, your Highness, sleep well." He waited until the door was shut before turning on his heel and walking back down the hall.
Abrose breathed a small laugh as he listened Lucian's footsteps retreat. "Anything, you say?" He shook his head, his mind still filled with the fantastic little fantasy of a life he knew there was little to no chance of happening. It was often Abrose fell asleep to these little fantasies, better than stalling on the fact that he'd have to marry someone other than Lucian one day. Abrose changed from his fancy party clothes into a well-loved soft shirt and silky pj pants. Before he succumb to sleep, Abrose settled at his desk and started to write out a short note. He figured a note would be easier to send than asking Amire in person the next morning during breakfast. Once he signed off the note and gingerly folded it into an envelope, Abrose stamped it with his personal wax seal and kept it safe in a drawer to have it delivered early in the morning. He went around his room, making sure to extinguish each candle and lantern until all were out. He buried himself under all the blankets and pillows piled on his bed, fully intent on reading a few pages in the book he had grabbed from his shelf but the moment his head met the pillow, he let himself relax and almost immediately fell asleep.
Abrose awoke in the morning, unfortunately, to Chire poking him relentlessly. He lightly smacked his brother with the book he had taken to bed and groaned in protest. "five more minutes." Abrose groaned, tugging the heavy covers over his head. Chire chuckled softly "I already gave you ten. we're waiting on you." Abrose huffed softly and sat up, giving his brother another playful wack with the book before he shuffled around his room, putting on a pair of slippers and slipping on a robe. He found the envelope in the drawer and put in his pocket before following his brother.
Lucian rejoined the commotion of the ball, helping direct guests to their rooms or carriages. He could have opted to leave. He could have gone back ti the barracks for bed but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He had a certain prince on his mind and that was going to keep him up. So if he was already going to be awake, why not get to work? The minutes dragged on and finally, hours later, everyone was where they needed to bed and Lucian was dragging his feet to bed. He checked kn the food and water bowl for his not so much his cat. The food was empty and the water was low. He filled them both up before trudging to bed. His cat had likely found somewhere to sleep for the night when he didn't show up at his usual time. No matter.
Lucian was barely able to undress before he was falling into bed in a fitful dream. His father was there and so was Abrose and it was all very confusing and he remember almost none of it when he shot out of bed. He looked out his window. Still dark. He had a couple more hours to get some sleep. He laid back down but sleep didn't find him. At some point as he lay there staring at the ceiling, there was a meow outside his window. He got uo to let Bean inside and when they were curled up together, that was when he could find sleep once more.
Lucian woke at first light as he did every morning. He had only gotten a few hours of sleep but that was the life of a palace guard. To much work, very little sleep. Maybe one day he would have the luxury of sleeping in. Even on his few days off he got a month, he was still up at the crack of dawn. Call it a habit. He let Bean out of his window before dressing in his training clothes. He always trained first thing in the morning.
He met his fellow guards in the training yard and at precisely six a.m. they begun. They started with a warmup run and then on onto stretches. They had some exercises and obstacles to complete before they were sparring against one another. No weapons, fists only. Lucian like this because he always won. He was smart and knew how to use his opponent. It's why he won every single damn time. It was likely another reason he was so often put on duty of the prince. He could protect him.
The hour passed and finally training came to an end. He washed himself before dressing in his little barrack before he was back on duty and standing in the dining hall watching the royals eat their breakfast.
Abrose hid a large yawn behind his hand as he entered the dining room. Acutely aware of the few extra pair of eyes in the room, he tucked his robe a bit tighter over his slightly revealing shirt. He flicked his gaze around the table as he and Chire settled in their respective seats. His mother was to the right of his father who sat at the head of the table, his sister across from their mother, Chire was supposed to be beside Lilly but that spot was currently filled by Amire, which happened to put him directly in front of Abrose, who sat beside his mother. Chire moved to sit beside Abrose.
He took the opportunity to quickly look around the room as the food was brought out, seeking out Lucian just for a sense of reassurance before he stood and took out the letter he had put in his pocket. Abrose glanced up as if sheepish to his mother who watched in surprise and what he could describe intrigue. Perfect. The more she thought he was giving into the marriage, the easier it would be able to speak with Amire without her ease-dropping. She wouldn't want to risk messing up the potential for the marriage after all. He offered a shy smile and rounded the table to give Amire the note, the one he took with slight confusion but accepted regardless. When Abrose went back to sit, both his siblings met his gaze with mildly shocked expressions. They both knew Abrose's feeling towards Lucian so for him to seeming switch his affections towards Amire, especially after his actions the night before, were surprising. Abrose so badly wanted to reassure them both his heart still solely belonged to Lucian but until he could speak with them in private without his mother or father around, he would keep quiet.
"I would like to apologies, your highness." Amire piped up after a few moments of awkward silence other than the soft clinking of utensils. Abrose peaked up, expecting Amire to be facing his parents but instead, his eyes were pinned on Abrose. He straightened slightly and tipped his head. "Whatever for?" He asked politely, though not ignorantly. Abrose could think of a few things Amire could apologies for but he kept his mouth smartly shut.
"For yesterday. I was not informed you went by another name nor no longer was a princess. I would like to apologies for my ignorance and to correct myself, Prince Abrose." He said, offering a small smile.
Abrose blinked a few times before nodding slowly and toying with the food on his plate. "You are forgiven. Thank you, your Highness."
Lucian stood against the wall of the dining, standing at perfect attention, just like hos other fellow guards. Had he not been breathing he could have been a statue. It's what he had been trained to do. He was invisible. He needed to be invisible unless the time came that he was needed. Unless someone jumped through a window and tried to stab the king or such, he would remain motionless against the wall, facing the windows and dining room.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he was watching Abrose. He was watching the exchange between him and that other prince. He didn't like it. Not one bit. He told himself it was because he didn't trust Amire's intentions but deep down he knew it was because if jealousy. He was jealous. He wanted the prince's attentions, not Amire. Lucian, who had been quietly loving Abrose all these years. Lucian, who had been there and supported him when he decided he was no long Rose but Abrose. Lucian had always been there, even when he physically wasn't. These were terrible, treasonous thoughts he was having. But he couldn't help it. His heart had chosen and there was no going back.
As Abrose made contact with him, Lucian offered a small smile. Barely. It was just a twitch of the lips really. Anything else and he would have been caught. But it was slight and it was there and he only hoped that Abrose had seen it. Despite the prince's actions, he would be there to support hik no matter what. If Abrose changed his mind and decided to marry the prince, Lucian would support him even though his heart would be breaking.
For the rest of the breakfast, Abrose and the rest of his family fell into light conversation, occasionally asking Amire questions about his kingdom though they were cautious to keep the questions generalized, so as to not put him in an uncomfortable position. After all, he was still the prince of an enemy kingdom. At one point or another, the topic of his own siblings came up and all three Nightingale siblings began recounting their various adventures and shenanigans, something Amire could easily relate to with his own family members.
"You mention this Lucian quite a bit. Are they also a sibling of yours?" Abrose snapped his head up, his surprise reflected in his sibling's faces. "No," Abrose replied softly, if not a bit shyly. He hadn't realized just how much Lucian was a part of their conversations, more than that, their lives. "but he's just as important to us than our own blood." Amire nodded and arched an eyebrow when he caught Abrose looking for his guard again. "I see, perhaps I'll get to meet this special Lucian of yours." Abrose nearly choked on his drink and nodded, ignoring the slightly disapproving look his mother gave him. "Perhaps, yes. I'm sure you will."
Lucian was straining his ears to hear the conversation between Abrose and Amire. It was hard to hear over the chatter of all of the guests but he was able to catch bits and pieces. Enough to know that Abrose was constantly bringing him up. If he wasn't on duty he would have been blushing. It took every ounce of his self-control to keep his emotions in check. He saw Laurent across the room give him a wink. Obviously, Lucian wasn't the only one listening to this conversation. That might have made things even worse. He could already hear the teasing voices of his friends later on when they were off duty or out of earshot. Their teasing about the prince having a little crush on him without any idea that Lucian actually liked the prince back. That the prince loved him. No one knew. Well, maybe his mother did but he had never directly told her. That she had figured out on her own.
His heart ached at the silent reminder that it would never be him sitting at that table. It would never be him sitting next to the prince. He would always be standing guard, silent in the background. He was invisible, he had to be. That was his role to play here. Keep quiet and guard the royal family with his life. That's what he had to do. Even if it hurt, even if it broke his heart, that's what he would do. He would love Abrose from afar. That was the life he was given. That was the role he would have to play. He knew it, accepted it. His life would be full of heartbreak and sorrow but he wouldn't have it any other way. He couldn't imagine a life without loving Abrose.
The siblings fell into easy conversation with Amire, as if they've known each other for years. It was nice, getting to know the foreign prince and Abrise hoped he felt comfortable but there was still the nagging feelings surounding the erranged marriage. While he hoped to become friends with Amire through their first meeting later today, Abrose still had not intention on accepting the proposal, no matter how much his mother smiled approvingly or tried to support her case on how similar to the two were, how happy they could make each other. Thankfully, Amire seemed just as uninterested in the marriage as Abrose did, smiling politely at the queen's attempts to push them together. It didn't seem he was in any rush to marry much to Abrise's relief. And on Abrose's part, he wasn't ready to throw away years worth of love for Lucian just for a prince he had met yesterday.
After a lull in conversation, Abrose stood and excused himself to change into something more suitable than his night clothes. He Bowes politely to his family and Amire and strode back to his room, nodding slightly to Lucian, a small gesture that meant this afternoon would happen. They'd talk with Amire, hopefully convincing to call off the marriage. Then…well Abrise didn't know but he hoped he'd be able to confess to Lucian, as silly and futile that may be considering their differing status. But Abrose couldn't care less.
Lucian kept his composure as the meal went on. It was luck that nothing happened that needed his quick reflexes. He was so lost in his head that he probably wouldn't have been able to recognize anything. A body would have had to collapse in front of him for him to react and even then, he might not have. He couldn't stop thinking about Abrose. The prince was taking over his head. He had this under control. He did. He had been so good with keeping things professional between the two of them, but last night shattered everything. He couldn't stop thinking about his love for Abrose. He remembered all the times they played as children. All the sweet words between the two of them.
Lucian had written letters when he was gone. He had written letters so many times, signed and ready to mail, to send tot he prince. But he had stopped himself every time. It wasn't proper. Lucian was a common man, a military man. He shouldn't be in correspondence with a prince. It wasn't proper. It would have been likely that the letter would have never reached the prince anyways. So he had burned them all, hoping to burn away his infatuation.
As the prince excused himself, Lucian moved to follow. He technically hadn't been reassigned yet and thus he would follow the prince. With the extra people in the palace, it was best to keep a guard with each member of the royal family at all times. Someone had taken the night shift which had allowed him to retire for the night. But now he was back on duty, another long shift to go. It was only after they were out of earshot and sight of everyone that he spoke in a low voice, "It went alright I assume. How do you like the prince?"
Abrose physically relaxed once they were out of the dining room and away from his mother's watchful eyes. He slowed his pace to match Lucian's as they walked back to his room. He gave a slight shrug, "I suppose as well as we can hope for having the prince of an enemy kingdom in our own home." Ambrose replied, sighing softly and tugging the robe he had put on around himself a bit tighter to combat the chill of the morning. "I like him well enough. He seems nice. We can relate in many ways, having siblings, being at wat against each other. I guess on a more personal level, being stuck in an arranged marriage. He's someone I'd like to become closer to as friends. Marriage seems like an idea too far away to consider with him if it even is a future I wish to consider at all." He looked up at Lucian. "And you? What do you honestly think of the prince? Forgetting formalities for a moment, what are your thoughts on Amire?" He asked curiously as they reached his bedroom door. What Abrose really wanted was a reason not to go through with the marriage. His refusal and hidden feelings for another would only hold him over for so long until he'd hand have to admit the truth. That he couldn't marry Amire because he was already in love with another. Not that that would be a valid enough reason to back out but he'd have to admit it to everyone at one point or another. Abrise just hoped it wouldn't put Lucian's position or Lucian himself in danger.
Lucian listened to him speak as he walked beside him, nodding slowly. He kept one ear open, listening for anyone that might be coming their way. He couldn't get caught speaking tot he prince. They weren't supposed to talk to the royal family or anyone for that matter unless it was an emergency. They were supposed to stand there silently, follow silently, and only act if there was an attack or any other situation that might require them to act or talk. He thought for a moment. What did he think of Amire? Well, he knew his parents were trying to marry him off to the man Lucian loved. He didn't like that very much. He knew the prince had apologized for calling Abrose the wrong name. That was about it. He had heard bits and pieces of their conversation but he hadn't been able to catch most of it. He didn't know enough to form an opinion.
He shrugged his shoulders. A very unguardly movement. "I don't have much of an opinion. I haven't talked to him. I don't know a lot about him. But I do know you and I trust your judgment. If you think he is a good person then I believe you. I think you two will be able to come to some sort of arrangement." However, none of it would matter if their parents still made them go through with the marriage. A concern he decided to voice. "What will happen if your parents don't see reason? What will you do if they make you go through with this?"
Abrose chewed his lip, deep in thought. "I hope you're right. I just hope that arrangement doesn't end in a marriage between us." He looked up at Lucian and gave a little, cheeky smile. "Do you know me, dearest Lucian?" he teased, knowing the answer already. Of course Lucian knew him. Abrose dared say that Lucian knew him best apart from his siblings. He was the one Abose went to for his adventures and when he needed a moment to be normal instead of a prince. While they had never fully crossed the boundry of statuses, Lucian was one of the only people Abrose felt comfortable let all the pretences drop with. He could be informal and voice his honest opinions to without fear of judgement. Lucian was his most trusted guard and more, his friend, despite Abrose wishing they were more.
His smile fell slightly at the mention of going through with the marriage. He knew it was a truth Abrose would have to face sooner than later, his mother seemed adament about the alliance.
"I don't know." He replied softly, the lightehearted teasing gone for now. He would say no again of course. He'd claim his heart was for somone else, the he had fallen in love with someone else. If he had to admit it was Lucian he would. He would make up any excuse to not marry Amire. He'd of course try to make any compromise with amire and his kingdom he could possible save for a forced, binding, marriage. "I'll leave." He decided softly. "If I have to marry Amire, I'll leave. I'll find a different way to make amends with his kingdom some other way, just not as a Prince." He laughed to himself, even as his idea seemed rediculous. "who knows, maybe I'll be able to do something more as a disgraced prince and commoner than I will be as a prince." Even as Abrose said it outloud, he knew it was easier said than done. "Please don't tell anyone I told you this, Luce. I don't need my parents going to drastic measures to keep me here if they hear of my plans. And I don't want Lilly or Chire worrying. They have enough on their plates with their own relationships."
Lucian returned the smile. It was so easy too. Abrose just lit up the room with his presence. When he smiled, everyone in the room smiled. How could they not? He had such a beautiful smile. "Of course, I know you. I think I'm a little offended you have to ask." Of course, he wasn't actually offended. It was just a small tease, the smile said that much if his voice didn't reveal that. Lucian might be the only one that truly knew him outside of his family. Sure the prince was friendly with everyone but was he really friends with any of them? Lucian was the closest one to him. Outside of the family, Lucian was the one he turned to, even if they hadn't spoken in a while. He had been busy with other things in opposite parts of the palace.
He saw the smile drop. He knew what had spurred the movement. The mention of the marriage. Perhaps it hadn't been the smartest thing to say but Abrose needed to have a plan. He needed to be ready in case things didn't go his way. Lucian hadn't been expecting the words that came out of his mouth next. Lucian stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around the hall to make sure they were alone, then pulled Abrose into the nearest empty room and clicked the door shut behind them. He grabbed Abrose's shoulders, making sure the prince was looking at him. "Abrose, you can't." He needed the prince to listen to him. "How will you survive out there? You don't know anything outside the palace. It's dangerous out there. People would be tripping over themselves to take advantage of you. And if they found out who you are, it would be catastrophic. You can't leave, Abrose. Promise me you won't. Promise me you'll find another way."
Abrose blinked as they were pushed into an empty study beside the royal family's bedroom. He looked around quickly, straining to hear anyone coming down the hall, fearing they'd be found out. If anyone were to see Lucian pull Abrose into a private study they'd both be in trouble. Thankfully, that would be the least of Abrose's worries. He turned to face Lucian, coming face to face with man he had loved for so long. He took the rare opportunity to get a good look at Lucian, to take in every detail of his face, his flaming red hair that Abrose longed to run his fingers through, the coppery brown eyes he got lost in so often, his soft lips he wanted so desperately to kiss. Abrose flicked his gaze to meet Lucian's eyes again, his brows furrowing in confusion as he registered what he had said. "What?" He nearly whispered in disbelief. Of all people, Abrose had expected for Lucian to understand his decision to leave if the marriage was forced upon him. Abrose shifted away from Lucian's grasp and took a meaningful step back. "I'll manage eventually Luce. I'm not so delusion to think it'll be just as easy as the life I live now." Abrose conveniently failed to mention the countless time he had snuck out his bedroom window to explore the city at night without Lucian being none the wiser of his escapades. Abose crossed his arms over his chest defensively and looked anywhere but at his guard, focusing hard on a box of ink pots on the desk. "Believe it or not, Luce, I know how to take care of myself. Its good they're defiant then. It means they're ready for change. If I can somehow make changes from out there then I will for their sake. I can learn out there," Abrose gestured towards the window, towards the city outside, towards his people "more than anything I've learned ever learned here. We barely know about the war other than its been going on for years and everyone I try to ask refuses to tell me what really is going on." He took a deep breath, already feeling himself growing angry. Not really at Lucian, he knew his guard was only looking out for him but Abrose wished for five minutes that Lucian would believe in him as a capable person. He slowly shook his head "I can't do that, Luce. I'll look for any other possibility but what are the chances my parents will listen to any alternative other than marriage? We're depserate for an alliance. This is their last hope. I'm hopeing we'll come to an agreement with Amire but even that won't guarentee cancelling the marriage." He tried to reason, glancing up at his guard, a sad smile crossing his features. He reached and gently cupped Luchin's cheek with one hand and took his hand with the other. "Ever my protective guard, hm?" He shook his head fondly. "If I do end up leaving, I give you full permission to follow. But promise me you'll fullfill your dream first. Become captain of the royal guard. Protect the people you swore to keep safe the first day you became a guard."
Lucian ran a hand through his perfectly combed back hair, ruining its hold and strands falling into his eyes. Run away. The prince wanted to run away. He wanted to escape into the kingdom and try to solve this war like some vigilante or other. And while Lucian had no doubt he wouldn't be able to solve this in his potion of power, as a commoner? He wasn't so convinced. He was overcome with worry over Abrose's safety. It was dangerous out there. Not just on the front but in the cities as well. Crime was littered among the streets. It didn't matter how much they cracked down on it, it was always going to happen. He was worried Abrose was going to get himself into trouble, that he was going to start something with someone that he wouldn't be able to finish. And he didn't want Lucian to follow. Abrose wanted him to stay at the palace and follow his dreams before thinking of leaving and finding Abrose. But didn't he know that Abrose was his dream? There was no way Lucian would let him leave without him. He understood the consequences. He understood he would be deserting his post and would be labeled as a traitor. He just couldn't let himself get caught. But he wasn't letting Abrose go into the city alone. Not without him. Lucian would always protect him.
"No," he finally said. "No. I'm not letting you leave. Not without me. To hell with coming captain, I'm not letting you run the streets without someone to protect you." He meant every word of it. "I didn't accept a position as a royal guard just for fun. I did it because I wanted to be closer to home. Closer to you." His cheeks flushed as he realized what he had just said but he kept going as if it hadn't. "You're my best friend. I can't let you go out there. Not alone." Preferably not ever. Lucian wasn't exactly jumping for joy at the thought of being labeled a traitor to the crown but he would do it for Abrose. "If it- if it gets to that point, you come to me. We go together. And if you leave without me, I'll come find you. And I will find you so you might as well save us both the trouble and come to me first." He made a split-second decision, screwing protocol. He was already in trouble if he got caught in this room with the prince, what did it matter if anything else happened? HE stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Abrose, pulling him into a tight hug.
Abrose's heart sunk for a moment, fearing he would have to go behind his most trusted friend's back to get out of the castle. "Luce this isn't-" he paused, an incredulous laugh escaping him, Luce would go with him. He'd drop everything he had worked so hard for for him. Abrose didn't know hether to feel honored or horrified. What had he done to deserve this sacrifice from Lucian? Abrose's cheeks flushed pink, if only lucian knew just how closse Abrose wishe dhtey could be. Perhaps that best left in Abrose's imagination, especially now as they actively planned an escape.
His breathed hitched slightly as Lucian moved suddenly closer for a tight hug but Abrose quickly recover, wrapping his arms around Lucian just as securely, never want to let go. "You do still realize I can order you to remain here, right my dear guard?" Abrosed teased, having never liked using his authority to make others do his bidding, despite being royalty. "But it seems like you've made up your mind about following me, regardless of what I say or do. Such a stubborn guard you are. Perhaps I'll entertain a little game of hide and seek with you for such defiance against your prince." he chided soflty with a grin as he pulled back slightly and adjusted Lucian's uniform form wher eit had been slightly crumpled from the hug. "Very well, if it comes to the point where we need to leave, I'll go to you, always. If by some chance I need to leave alone, I'll find a safe place and send you my whereabouts as soon as safely possible." he promised, his mind racing with places around the city he knew were safe for him and Lucian, people he knew he could trust, people who were already planning on their own course of action considering the kindom's war.
"Luce, I want you to teach me to fight, please." He said suddenly, though not with uncertainty. "I know how to swordfight but Chire wouldn't teach me beyond the basics. If we do end up needing to leave and help from the outside, I want to know how to defend myself and my people."
Lucian placed his chin on top of Abrose's head. He had to bend his neck a little do to so with their height difference. Sometimes he truly forgot that Abrose had been born a woman until times like this. He didn't care, he never had, as long as Abrose was happy. He just forgot sometimes. "You can order me all you like for me to remain behind but once you're gone you won't be here to stop me." He would have to be pinned and chained to not go after Abrose. Something that could certainly be arranged if the prince wanted it to happen. He lifted his chin from his head to look down at him as Abrose pulled away slightly. Lucian smiled as he fixed his uniform. "I wouldn't suggest sending me out on a wild goose chase trying to find you. That would be very bad," he said in a teasing voice. He moved his hand to hold his sides, just above his hips. It was too low, much too low for a guard to be touching a prince. It was too much touch at all. He shouldn't have his hands on Abrose at all but it was too late. They were alone in this room with no one around them. They were alone. Together. In a room. Lucian was alone in a room with the man he had been in love with for the better part of his life. Had he been a braver man he would have made a move. But he was not a brave man. He was a coward in the face of the love of his life. He couldn't do it.
Lucian jerked back at the words. Fight? Since when did Abrose have any interest in fighting? He didn't like the thought of Abrose being anywhere near the fighting. Abrose needed to stay clear of the front of any of the fighting. But, if for whatever reason Abrose needed to defend himself, Lucian wanted him to be able to. Lucian nodded. "Alright. We'll start tomorrow morning before breakfast. That means getting up earlier, do you understand that?" He was going to train Abrose hard. He was going to make sure Abrose would be able to get out of any situation that he could have gotten into.
"Careful, beloved guard. That almost sounds like a challenge, one I'm not above declining. But for the sake of the situation we're in, we'll leave that little adventure for another time less harrowing." he teasd back, nodding once he was satisfied with Lucian's uniform, his hands coming to rest on his guard's shoulders. His breathing became unsteady as he hyperfixated on the placement of Lucian's hands on his waist. In any other situation, save for an urgent emergency, any physical contact with the royal family was prohibited. For Lucian to touch Abrose so freely would certainly get both of them in trouble if caught and almost guarentee a demotion for Lucian if not complete removal from the royal guard. Abrose watched Lucian for a long moment, amused by the thought that if their roles were switched, if Lucian was forced to leave the castle, there would be nothing that would be able to keep Abrose from following, not his family nor Lucian himself. He had made that mistake of staying behind before when Lucian had left to become a fully feldged guard, he refused to let him go again.
Abrose's tipped his head at Lucian's reaction at the mention of wanting to learn how to fight. While it was normal for every member of the royal family to learn how to handle a sword correctly, the training was never so extensive as to actually teach them how to fight back for long. Chire had been allowed to learn because he was the crown prince. He would soon be in charge of Avrile's army and possibly join before becoming king so he needed to know combat bt for Llly and Abrose, the less they knew about swordplay the better. They were to depend on their guards for protection. Thankfully neither Lilly nor Abrose were known to follow many traditional rules, especially when it came to swordplay. While they were mostly self taught and could hold their own fairly well compared to most royal children it was nowhere near close the guard's or an skilled attacker's level. Abrose was going to argue he'd learn from someone else if Lucian refused to teach him but Abrose's retort caught in his throat, an excited smile instead spread on his features. He nodded his head with determination though the thought of waking up at an ungodly hour of the morning to fight seemed like torture. He would sacrifice that far more for the sake of his kingdom. "I do, yes."
Lucian wanted to lean in and kiss him. He was almost ready to risk it all. All it would take was for him to lean in just a bit and their lips would touch. That was all it would take. And god he wanted to but he refrained. He couldn't. He just couldn't. There were too many what ifs. What if is someone walked in on them? What if Abrose didn't return his affections? What if they were discovered? What if Abrose rejected him? The list kept going on and on. It was a long list of why he couldn't possibly do this. Even if in this very moment he was fantasizing in his head what it would be like to kiss him. In his head, Lucian cupped Abrose's cheek, tilting his head up. Lucian would dip his head and their lips would connect. Lucian's lips would be dry and cracked. He was guard. Ne never took the time to care much about his body. But Abrose, his lips would be soft and moist. A vast opposite of Lucian's own. Because Abrose cared about himself like that. He was able to care for himself. In this fantasy, Lucian slipped his arm around Abrose's back and pulled them flush against each others chests. It was perfect until Lucian came back to reality. They were not kissing even if they were entirely too close to be appropriate and Abrose was asking to be trained. Trained for combat. Lucian prayed the prince would never need to use it but he did believe everyone should at least know self-defense. And if Abrose insisted on being near the fighting, he would train him hard until he was absolutely sure the prince could protect himself in any situation.
"I won't be easy on you," Lucian said. "You'll likely hate me before the first training session is even over. But if you insist on putting yourself in dangerous situations, I'm going to make sure you know how to survive." He looked at Abrose now, tilting his head. A thought occurred to him and he was worried Abrose wouldn't be able to follow through. "I will teach you how to survive and how to kill someone. Do you think you can do that? Take someone's life? Understand that sometimes it is necessary. It is kill or be killed. And where you're trying to go, a whole lot of people will want you dead if they know who you are."
Abrose's confirmation died in his throat as he gazed back up his guard. There was so much desire in those honey eyes that abrose almost believed Lucian loved and wanted abrose just as much as abrose wanted lucian. But Lucian was committed to his job, no time for relationships. And even if that was untrue, Abose didn't think Lucian would want to be with the prince he looked after day in and day out. But there were moments like these and last night that made abrose think otherwise. Moments of gentle touches, shared jokes, secret plans to run away together, intense yet silent desire that kad eaveose want to pull in Lucian for a bruising kiss and never let go, to entangle himself with Lucian, royal etiquette and whatnot be damned if he could be with Lucian for the rest of his life. He was so close, Lucian was so close. But his kingdom came first. His people's safety and in turn Lucian's would always come first before his heart. Abrose moved forward back into Lucian's embrace and gave a littoe nod, "good, I expect nothing less from you, Lucian. I need to worn down to the bone. All this orincey life has left me scrawny." He laughed softly, burrying his face again's Lucian's shoulder. Now that hadn't been something he had considered. Would he be willing to kill? His immediate answer was yes. But if he thought more about it, thought that there was the very real chance he'd kill his own people or Amire's people who would be out for his head then…he didn't know. "Not yet but I will be." He decided softly. "I know thousands have died, I don't want to add to that number but i will if it'll stop this war."
(I'm so sorry. I was moving into my apartment)
Lucian tightened his arms around Abrose as the prince leaned forward back into his arms. He wanted to freeze this moment and stay here forever. He loved this. He loved just holding Abrose. But his poor heart was silently wailing. Because they both knew that this was all Lucian would ever get. He would never be able to kiss him and be with Abrose like he wants to be. He couldn't. And as lovely as Abrose's fantasy of running away was, Lucian knew it would never happen. Abrose would figure out a way to get his mother to back off on the marriage and all would be well. Lucian would continue to silently love Abrose from afar, guarding him with his life. And sure, they may train for a while but how ling until Abrose called it off? He didn't know. All he knew was that his heart was going to suffer.
Lucian smiled and shook his head, placing his hand on the back of Abrose's head, running his gloved fingers through the strands. "There is nothing wrong with being scrawny. You look fine the way you are. But if you want to train that will change. We will train hard. You're going to be uncomfortable most of the time but you will learn to embrace it." He looked down at Abrose. "And i will changing your diet. You need to eat more and healthier. Otherwise, this training will be for nothing. You won't even be able to complete the exercise if you don't have the right nutrition." He was already mentally making a checklist of the things he could eat. It didn't mean he couldn't ever have sweets or his favorite foods. It would just have to be less often. Abrose needed more protein to be able to build his muscles. Nothing was going to progress without that. "Let's hope it never comes to that." Killing changed people. It had certianly changed Lucian. He didn't want Abrise to change at all. But he wanted the prince to be prepared if he was ever in a situation that needed it.
