forum Asexuality and Aromanticism

Started July 14, 2020 by @berlioz

tune

Hey, feelings on ace/aro representation! It's a given we need more of it, but what do you all want specifically?

Honestly I just want aros and aces of all different types: everywhere on the spectrum, aromantic allosexuals, alloromantic asexuals, etc.

Also aces and aros that aren't just "uwu soft and wholesome!!" or "frigid robot"

Silas is a frigid robot. But it's also never directly stated that he's ace. I feel like I'll need to add it in though as he has a habit of staring at people's bodies.

I mean Samuel's pretty prudish but he'd be that way even if he wasn't ace

(imagine forgetting about me and every other sex-repulsed ace in your friend group)

Nutella's way more verbal about it though. (Also sorry maybe.) You are more of a casual neh. Idk. You seem more uninterested than repulsed.

Aces who make sex jokes. I'm the token inappropriately timed dick joke maker of my friend group. You can be repulsed by the idea of having sex and still make jokes.
A wide variety of types of aces. Like. Maybe there's aces in your cast or something. Their asexuality is not going to be exactly the same. We're all comfortable with different things. Even just in the same subcategory. For example, I don't like people touching me, and sex jokes are encouraged and applauded yes they're great. Ella loves hugs and all that, and sex jokes make her uncomfy. That's fine. Give me variety

I mean I'm obviously biased, but I would love more grey-ace (including demi) rep. I don't know any grey-ace characters. Along with that, I think it'd be cool if characters in each dynamic (friends, crushes, squishes, partners etc.), allo or ace, had some idea of the asexual spectrum and how others experience stuff like that. And like Jyn implied, personality and sexuality shouldn't be dependent on each other. Mix things up.

I mean Samuel's pretty prudish but he'd be that way even if he wasn't ace

Looked him up and once again I am blown away by how good your character pages are.

I mean Samuel's pretty prudish but he'd be that way even if he wasn't ace

Looked him up and once again I am blown away by how good your character pages are.

Aw, thank you! I just redid his a little ago
I would die for him without hesitation.

Aces who make sex jokes. I'm the token inappropriately timed dick joke maker of my friend group.

Same though

oO on the topic of variety some of us love the idea of romance and sex, just experience the attraction so rarely. Don't be afraid to make an ace/aro-spec character a hopeless romantic/horny hyooman who just hasn't found anyone that clicks in their eyes. I know there's the dreaded "you just haven't found the right person yet" saying that aces often hear, but for some of us that holds some truth.

(imagine forgetting about me and every other sex-repulsed ace in your friend group)

Nutella's way more verbal about it though. (Also sorry maybe.) You are more of a casual neh. Idk. You seem more uninterested than repulsed.

I'm more vocal about being disgusted by sex in real life than online because people don't really talk about it online. I encourage jokes though. As long as it's not about someone fucking me. Also you can't see my face so that kind of hides a lot

oO on the topic of variety some of us love the idea of romance and sex, just experience the attraction so rarely. Don't be afraid to make an ace/aro-spec character a hopeless romantic/horny hyooman who just hasn't found anyone that clicks in their eyes. I know there's the dreaded "you just haven't found the right person yet" saying that aces often hear, but for some of us that holds some truth.

I'm not disagreeing with you, but the "you just haven't found the right person yet" argument is so dumb. Even with greys, it's still not really right, because the way allos say that kind of implies that finding just one person will mean flipping a switch and suddenly sexual attraction hits you full force and you experience it regularly. And ? P sure that doesn't happen. Anyway I hate Karens that say that

I personally don't mind more serious, stoic ace/aro characters as long as that isn't their whole schtick and as long as it isn't straight up robotic. I also love aro/ace characters as like, the dad friend type character especially in found family stories. Oh also! More autistic aro/ace characters and more discussion of how neurodivergence relates to personal identity.

oO on the topic of variety some of us love the idea of romance and sex, just experience the attraction so rarely. Don't be afraid to make an ace/aro-spec character a hopeless romantic/horny hyooman who just hasn't found anyone that clicks in their eyes. I know there's the dreaded "you just haven't found the right person yet" saying that aces often hear, but for some of us that holds some truth.

I'm not disagreeing with you, but the "you just haven't found the right person yet" argument is so dumb. Even with greys, it's still not really right, because the way allos say that kind of implies that finding just one person will mean flipping a switch and suddenly sexual attraction hits you full force and you experience it regularly. And ? P sure that doesn't happen. Anyway I hate Karens that say that

Both your points are valid, and I'm glad we're looking at stuff with nuance here!

I think everyone on the spec could be better represented as well. Those who form deep bonds with someone before sexually attracted to them, as well as the ace aros who just want platonic stuff. We all deserve some sort of recognition across the media

if Karen says anything like that to any of you, I will fly over, throw hands, and give her unvaccinated ass every illness known to man

I mean I'm obviously biased, but I would love more grey-ace (including demi) rep. I don't know any grey-ace characters. Along with that, I think it'd be cool if characters in each dynamic (friends, crushes, squishes, partners etc.), allo or ace, had some idea of the asexual spectrum and how others experience stuff like that. And like Jyn implied, personality and sexuality shouldn't be dependent on each other. Mix things up.

Aiday from Gods of Brooklyn
Daniella and Nathaniel from Marked
Eos from Sophisticated Blue
Gaius from Shadow of the Dawn
Grace (wait that's fitting) from Twisted
Soraso from Althalos l

oO on the topic of variety some of us love the idea of romance and sex, just experience the attraction so rarely. Don't be afraid to make an ace/aro-spec character a hopeless romantic/horny hyooman who just hasn't found anyone that clicks in their eyes. I know there's the dreaded "you just haven't found the right person yet" saying that aces often hear, but for some of us that holds some truth.

I'm not disagreeing with you, but the "you just haven't found the right person yet" argument is so dumb. Even with greys, it's still not really right, because the way allos say that kind of implies that finding just one person will mean flipping a switch and suddenly sexual attraction hits you full force and you experience it regularly. And ? P sure that doesn't happen. Anyway I hate Karens that say that

True, true, that's why I only say some truth. To them, when they say it, they mean "find someone who kickstarts your sex drive so you can get out there already" which is problematic.

Oh also! More autistic aro/ace characters and more discussion of how neurodivergence relates to personal identity.

I have one, Anna who's both ace and autistic. She's the best friend of the mc. But that story might be dead…

Aces who make sex jokes. I'm the token inappropriately timed dick joke maker of my friend group.

Same though

…same though. except a bit more furry

More representation of friends who really care for each other, like they're not afraid to say they love each other, they have a really strong connection and care deeply for each other, and there being no sexual/romantic tension. (you know like how people care for their siblings and family members, but it's with their friend(s) seriously, friends that are just friends.
Maybe a story that focuses around a friendship, like instead of the kid drops friends for girl or girl chooses between childhood best friend and new guy or just any of those stories about romance that have been told a thousand times. I'm getting tired of the romantic/sexual subplot taking over the story, or thinking a story isn't going to be all about romance then it is. I just want more stories about friendship. (I'm mostly talking about YA novels, shows and movies, I'll think of a few examples:
Strangers Things the second season Mike was a waste of space like he new Eleven for a week and now can't live without her, and in season three their whole subplot was stupid drama about their relationship that I never liked to begin with
Any of the trash Netflix movies, though they're made to be terrible so I guess that doesn't count.
Be More Chill I just find the dynamic of Jeremy and Christine unlikable, Awkward geek kid with energetic theatre kid. Also Jeremy left his life long best friend in the dust, it's unrealistic, isn't it?
Heros of Olympus Everyone was paired with someone by the end of that series a bit much don't you think, (though I still love Rick's books)
There are way more, and these aren't even the worst, but they were annoying, though I kinda always root for the friendship rather than the relationship. And I end up liking characters less if they seemed aro or ace, then ended up not being.
(sorry for rambling.)

Y'all are making me sad that my copy of Loveless hasn't arrived yet :(

Bruh but speaking of Stranger things I really hope Will is aro or ace or aroace, cuz (spoilers ig)

Fingers crossed lol.

More representation of friends who really care for each other, like they're not afraid to say they love each other, they have a really strong connection and care deeply for each other, and there being no sexual/romantic tension.

Freaking Samwise Gamgee gets the Best Friend Ever Award.

Samwise Gamgee is a king.

Yes

Is it possible for an aroace person to be repulsed at the thought of themselves in a romantic relationship but not the thought of romance itself (and actually be really chill with romance happening around them, just not towards them)?