forum Under The Painted Sky (O/O CLOSED)

Started March 18, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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“Thank you,” she mumbled in exhaustion, barely able to keep her eyes open. He looked so good standing like that even though he looked tired as well. “And I’m sorry. For being such a burden.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re not a burden at all. Please don’t think that,” Sterling sighed, his gaze softening as he ran a hand through his hair. “You should try to sleep again.”

She hadn’t even fallen asleep after he had. Perhaps that was why her fever had gotten worse. She had just laid there, listening to the sound of his heartbeat and feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Still, she didn’t let him know. She merely smiled, absolutely adoring the way he was looking at her.

“When you come back,” she found herself saying despite herself. She should not be acting like this. She was acting like a—

She swallowed thickly, her sick state letting in things she would have tried to fight before.

”What a dirty little girl…”

”The more you stare at other men, the more I want to gauge your eyes out.”

”Do you really think you could flirt with another and not get me angry? I should carve out your tongue for that—“

Eden closed her eyes with a shuddering breath, burying her face in her hands. She should keep a hold of herself. She didn’t want to go through that again…

Sterling stepped into the kitchen and looked around for a rag. After opening a few cupboards and cabinets, he found one and wet it in the sink. Making sure it was folded and not too wet, he made his way back to Eden, only to see her face buried in her hands. He frowned and kneeled in front of her.

“Hey, E… I’ve got your rag,” he murmured softly, reaching out with his free hand to run a hand over her hair.

When Eden felt a hand through her hair, she instinctively recoiled, flinching away as if he was going to pull on her hair. Then she realized who it was and cursed inwardly. Sterling. It was Sterling. It wasn’t him. He was gone. There was nothing to be afraid of.

She exhaled and removed her face from her hands, hoping he wouldn’t think too deeply about her reaction. It was a completely normal one. She had just been startled. Nothing more than that.

“Thank you, Sterling,” she mumbled, hesitantly reaching for the cool rag. “For everything.”

Sterling blinked at her reaction and pulled his hand back. He handed her the rag as he leaned back on his heels. “Any time. Let me know if you need anything else, okay? Maybe an ibuprofen? And some water?”

Eden nodded slowly, trying not to aggravate her headache. She pressed the rag to her eyes, sighing at the relief it brought her. “No. I’m good,” she mumbled. “Just… make yourself comfortable, Sterling. Don’t worry about me.”

She was so stupid. This was a terrible idea. He was right. She was nothing but worthless. She didn’t deserve anything. Whatever she got, she deserved. In the end, he got what he wanted. She could never run away from him.

“I’m going to worry about you, anyway, so there’s no use in telling me not to. Is it alright if I lay with you again?” Sterling asked, gently cupping her cheek in his hand.

Conflict exploded inside Eden. On one hand, she wanted to push him away. She was filthy and worthless. She didn’t deserve him nor did she deserve his worry. On the other, she wanted to curl up against him. She wanted to forget her past—wanted to forget the trauma she had suffered.

In the end, the other side one. Even though that voice sneered in her mind agin, that side won. She lifted the blanket with her free hand and forced a smile on her features. “Yeah,” she breathed. “You can.”

Sterling smiled down at her and pressed his lips to the space between her eyes. He pulled away only to slip under the blanket, holding her close once he was there.

The spot where he kissed burned. Eden couldn’t tell whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Words kept swarming in her mind, everything she’d once been told breaking free in that moment. Why, she didn’t know. Perhaps it was because she’d never been in this position before, but whatever it was, she didn’t like it.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

“What are we doing, Sterling?” Eden released a shuddering breath, settling into his side, her head on his shoulder, trying her hardest to block out the cruel blue eyes from her mind.

Sterling paused at her words, pulling away again with a sigh. He looked at her, trying to catch her eye. Did she not like this? Was he making her uncomfortable?

“I’m sorry… I thought you were okay with this. If you’re not, I could probably just go home… I’m pretty sure the rain has stopped,” he suggested quietly. “I don’t want to be here if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

Eden whipped her head up, wincing when a flash of pain overtook her. She ignored the splitting headache and grabbed his arm tightly.

“That’s the problem,” she said quietly. “I am comfortable. I am okay with it. A few days ago, I would have punched you if you had so much as even touched me, and now I crave it. And I don’t know if you’re just pitying me because of a few stupid breakdowns, and as much as I want to believe otherwise, I can’t.”

“I am not just pitying you, Eden McArthur,” Sterling said sternly, closing his eyes with a low sigh. He opened them again to blink at her. “I promise you that I’m not doing this out of pity. I want to do this, and I’ve wanted to do this for a while.”

“Why?” Eden found herself whispering quietly. “I’ve been nothing but horrible to you. I’ve insulted you countless times, threatened you more than I can count and I’ve pushed you away. So why?”

Sterling chewed on his lip as he looked away, thinking of how to phrase what he was going to say. “Because I can see the girl in you who hurts, and I want to help her to stop hurting or at least lessen the hurt. If I can do that much, I’ll be happy.” Even if I like her as more than that…

Can you, though? Eden’s eyes dimmed. Lessen the hurt? Get rid of it? Eden couldn’t bring herself to think he could. She could never be healed. She was meant to be broken. Happiness wasn’t meant for her. She was meant to stand in the ashes of what she had been before her world on fire.

Still, his words warmed her up. He wanted to help, though that word only infuriated her.

“You’re different than the rest, aren’t you?” She said instead. “At least, I hope you are.”

Sterling gave her a small smirk. “I hope so. I don’t want to just be another guy,” he half-joked. “But, yeah. I hope I am, too.”

“I don’t want you to be just another guy,” Eden admitted. She didn’t want him to be. She certainly didn’t want to be stuck in the same relationship as she had been once. She didn’t want Sterling to be like him. “Be Sterling.”

Sterling hummed, nodding slowly. “Okay…” he murmured before a small smile overtook his lips again. “Sterling wants to go back to laying with you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Eden nodded slowly, trying not to aggravate her headache. “Please. Lay with me.”

”So desperate, aren’t you? You’ll never change, pet. Always going to beg.”

“Cool,” Sterling sighed as he leaned back into her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Please let me know if I ever make you uncomfortable, okay?”

Eden nodded against him, breathing him in. Yeah, she was a goner. She’d fallen again. She’d done it again.

“Yeah, okay,” she leaned into him, closing her eyes again. So comfortable. “Run your fingers through my hair?”

“Sure, E,” Sterling breathed, immediately pushing his hand through her hair. “Think you’ll sleep okay?”

“I don’t know,” Eden admitted, sighing in content as she felt his fingers in her hair. “But maybe because I’m… ill, sleep will come.”