(little did you know that I had that exact thing planned almost verbatim and was waiting to bring it up at a different time—also honey would definitely be trying everything he knew to make the experience good for ari and in the process not be enjoying himself at all, which could be another red flag to kinda alert ari that he isn’t exactly doing it for himself)
Honey stretched, his lithe, muscular body twisting, and grinned lazily. He traced a finger down the other man’s cheek and stopped right at the corner of his mouth. It was way too early, he knew, to give him a real kiss. He pulled his hand away and flopped against the pillows with a yawn. Before he could work up the energy to stand, there was a knock on the door.
“Hello!” someone singsonged. It was Lovey. “Room service! But not really. Sorry to bother you both, but is Honey in there?”
This situation was very familiar. It made Arquis shudder. Honey was no longer hungover and beaten in their bed, but it was still too similar a scene for comfort. He found himself glancing over to make sure the blond was alright.
Honey was just fine, or so it appeared. He grinned widely. “Yeah, come on in.”
Lovey did exactly as he’d said. She was dressed in a long, thin nightgown under a lacy shawl. Her curls were being held out of her face by a silver clasp. The only makeup that she was wearing was sparkly lipgloss, and she had on a rather sweet-scented, peachy perfume. She giggled when she saw them all snuggled up together, then stopped, eyeing up Ari.
“Oh, hello! You’re new, aren’t you?”
(great minds think alike lmao. ooh yeah and Ari is like "hey. I don't need this. I love you no matter what" like. just trying to reassure Honey that they don't have to do this if Honey doesn't want to and won't enjoy himself, Ari will still care about him the same and just,,, gdhlbgkd)
Ari looked up and over at Lovey, still rather trapped beneath Honey. "Hello. I'm Ari, I'm Rin's friend." he greeted. "You're Lovey, right?" he figured she was; she looked quite a lot like the blond above him, so she must be the sister that Honey had been talking about earlier.
Rin grimaced very faintly, also remembering the last time a similar thing had happened, and how that had been…not good. Not at all. Honey had been in pain, and Lovey had been rightfully horrified, and everything had been rather awful for everyone involved, and that had only happened a few days ago.
(ooh yeah and also what if honey like in anticipation of it started drinking just a little beforehand like he often did with the others and covers up the evidence of it but then later admits to ari that he wasn’t looking forward to it at all and was just doing what he thought he needed to)
Lovey nodded, but she still looked a bit unsure. She looked at her brother, and the two had several seconds of mostly unbroken eye contact, almost as if they were communicating telepathically. Whatever she found in his expression was apparently good enough because her bouncy attitude returned. She gave Ari her brightest smile and did a little wave.
“It’s real nice to meet you, cutie! Sorry for barging in like this. I didn’t know there was gonna be a guest!” She put her hand over her mouth as she laughed, then looked at Rin and Arquis. “Besides you two, of course! But anyways, I wanted to let you guys know that the snow’s starting to melt outside! Not fully, but the way to the village should be clear by this evening. Traveling should be safe!”
“I think Rin might be a bit too ill to walk in the snow, still,” Arquis said softly. “But thank you very much for letting us know.”
“Of course!” She beamed at him. He felt his chest ache. She was so much like Marsiquia that it was making him insanely homesick. “Honey, you could show Ari around, if you wanted!”
(ooooh yes! and Ari is just like. "I don't need sex to care about you, Honey". and just. egjjfkjd bc Honey is so used to sex being with people who don't care about him at all, and Ari's whole thing is that he doesn't feel comfortable having sex with people he doesn't care about, and just. yeah. bc for Honey it's "I have to do this so he cares about me" and meanwhile Ari wouldn't have been okay with that idea if he didn't already care for Honey, and arrgh)
Rin smiled a little bit at the news. "Thank you for telling us, Lovey." he chimed in, still curled comfortably close to Arquis, head resting on the taller man's shoulder. "Hopefully once I am feeling better, we can go to the village." but he was still ill, for now, despite the fact that he was feeling better because of the medicine that they had taken earlier in their tea.
Ari smiled a little. "The village sounds lovely, though I have done a lot of traveling in the past day or so and I'm not sure I want to be doing more today." he was tired from the journey to get here; sure, most of it had been in coaches, but he was still tired. There had been a lot of stress and worry about Rin, and the traveling had been exhausting.
(omg it’s perfect aaaaaa also small detail what if honey went to ari’s room when this happened instead of ari going to honey’s? cause that would really enhance the vibe that honey sees it more as something he has to do, kind of like another job, and that he doesn’t really feel comfortable with it)
Arquis nodded eagerly. “Yes, I certainly agree. Perhaps in a few days we can make the trip. I must admit that I am eager to stretch my legs.” He was used to going on long walks from the Palace to the nearest town. They weren’t quite daily due to his enormous list of responsibilities, but he often went at least three to four times a week. Climbing that hill wasn’t easy. The exercise had always been appreciated; in retrospect, he wondered if it’d been very good for him. Doing that much walking without eating much had to have done a number on his health. No wonder he was always rather tired.
Honey smiled down at Ari, his dimples showing. “Poor thing. All tuckered out. Well, that’s alright. We can go whenever.”
Lovey had an odd expression on her face, but she schooled it into something more neutral when he looked back at her. She clapped once. “Great! Just thought I’d come on by to share the news. Oh, and Honey, are you going to be working the front desk tonight? I need to tell Pretty if not, ‘cause she’s got a thing she’s been planning.”
“Guess I probably should, huh? I’ve lazed about for long enough.”
(oooh yeah! especially because so many of the rooms look so similar and so for Honey it would be like "yeah I care about Ari but like. it's the job. i want him to care" and fgbsdfjbk yesss)
Rin reached out to gently touch Honey's shoulder. "You…" his gaze flicked to Ari, not wanting to say anything that Honey wasn't comfortable sharing with the other man. "Shit happened, and you deserve to rest if you need to." they said softly. "And if you do work the front desk, let that be the only thing you do, Honey." his voice turned just a bit firm. "No going with clients. Please."
Ari was just a touch lost on what exactly was going on here and what Rin was talking about. All he knew was what Rin had written to him previously, which he supposed must have ended up being true in some way. And he didn't want to pry, but he was certainly confused about just what was happening here.
(yeah so Honey’s mindset is very much ‘just get it over with like always and make sure Ari really enjoys it so that he’ll love Honey/won’t wanna leave’ which is the opposite of Ari’s mindset, which is more so in the ‘have a wonderful night with the man that he loves’)
Honey ducked his head, embarrassed, and gave a noncommittal shrug. “Wasn’t gonna. Not so soon, anyways. If I gotta do it eventually, then I gotta, but yeah. Need a little time to, y’know. Get myself in working order. Unmess myself up.”
Lovey shook her head adamantly. She was a little teary-eyed, but her voice didn’t waver. “We talked about this already, remember? You’re not going to do it at all anymore. It’s not worth it. You promised that if you were gonna work, it’d be the front desk and some outside stuff. That’s it.”
“Divinity’s gonna have to work the desk at some point, and I’ve gotta make money somehow.” And now they were back to the earlier topic. He groaned and wrapped his arms around Ari’s neck. His wrist throbbed. “I said I wouldn’t for a while. Isn’t that good enough?”
(yeah exactly! for Ari it's more about the emotional aspects and the "I love you and you love me and let's have a wonderful night together" (ofc with lots of aftercare/cuddling afterwards too) and Honey just views it as more…transactional, ig? like a price he has to pay to be loved and cared for)
Ari's gaze flicked between the group, then up to Honey. "Should I step out for a minute? To let you all have this conversation?" he asked slowly, raising his eyebrows. "Because I have no…I do not want to be prying, and this seems to be an important conversation." he tripped over his words a little bit, and had to take a breath and pause. Anvillean was not a language that came naturally to him; it was related enough to Kevran to be manageable, plus he had had those lessons years ago, but he still found tenses and other such things a bit odd and strange and difficult to manage. "If you want privacy so I am not overhearing things you have no wish to tell me, then I can go." even though he rather liked the warm weight of Honey on top of him, he would leave if that was what Honey wanted or needed him to do.
(transactional is the perfect word for it! also the fact that Honey has never been cared for/cuddled with after is making me sad tbh like the thought of him repeatedly being used, paid, and then having to stumble back to his room hurting and alone is just really :( ari is gonna have to be very gentle with him)
Honey shook his head fervently and tightened his embrace. He didn’t cut off Ari’s breathing or anything of the sort, but his grip was tight enough that it’d hopefully get his mindset across. He didn’t want him going anywhere. Him leaving meant that the blond had to talk about what’d happened, and, well, he was so damn sick of talking about it. He’d spent almost every day for several years thinking of those men and what they’d done to him. He’d spent hours perusing books for tips to hide bruises, fix sprains, and heal other injuries related to force. He’d spent his hard-earned coin on salves and makeup, wasted precious hours cleaning himself in his bath. He didn’t want to think about it for even a second more. Even earlier, when he’d almost exposed his career to Ari, he’d felt tired of it. He just wanted a break.
“I’ll just work the desk tonight. Nothing else,” he said to his sister, then addressed Ari. “There. Conversation’s over. No need for you to step out.”
“Honey,” Arquis sighed with a shake of his head. “Really, this is not something you should just dismiss. It is important, and it sounds as if there is still a lot to discuss.”
He scowled. “And I’ll discuss it, just not right this second.”
(aww bby :( ofc Ari's going to be gentle and take it as slow as Honey needs it to go. tbh if/when they do have sex bc they both actually want to, Ari probably will let Honey take the lead/set the tone for what they're doing. Ari hasn't had any bottom changes/surgery, just top stuff, so he wouldn't be able to carry out penetration unless he used fingers/a toy, so idk if that would help Honey somehow? since the clients that abused him were typically doing penetrative stuff and Ari is literally incapable of that for now?)
Ari inhaled softly when Honey's grip tightened, and he reached up to hold onto the blond. His own grip was gentle and careful, and Honey could pull away easily if he wanted to. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Because I can step out and then come back if or when you want me to." his speech was slow and careful, not wanting to upset Honey, but also know that this topic seemed to be pretty important to all of the people involved.
Rin studied Honey carefully. "You don't have to discuss it right now, Honey, but you cannot put it off forever."
(it’d probably help somewhat though Honey’s just going to be kind of struggling for a while, it’s gonna be a very slow process that requires him to unlearn a lot of his more performative behaviors; he was taught to constantly act a certain way and basically deny his needs, which means that despite all of his experience he doesn’t really know what he likes)
“Please don’t,” Honey whispered to Ari, still clinging to him like his life depended on it. He was the one person in the room that didn’t fully know his past. It was comforting that someone in the room didn’t define him by his trauma, that someone there didn’t look at him with pity or empathy. Ari probably saw him as Honey, a weirdly flirtatious, awfully touchy-feely stranger with an overprotective sister. He didn’t see him as Honey, the victim of frequent assault or Honey, the broken young man that had grown up too soon.
“Rin is right. You cannot ignore what occurred, Honey, nor can you return to your previous life. I am certain that we can think of something else for you to do.”
Lovey hummed in agreement. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll come talk to you after your shift is done.”
“Alright,” he grumbled, then lifted a hand to shoo her away. She frowned, looking just a little bit hurt, and shut the door behind her.
(yeah ofc, that makes sense, and Ari's going to be there to help him figure all of that out and what he likes)
Ari let Honey cling to him, not really knowing what else he could do to help. This had to be enough. Or, at least, he hoped it would be. He didn't want to upset Honey.
Rin was quiet, letting the others talk. Once Lovey was gone, they exhaled softly. "It is getting a bit late." they commented softly. Despite all of his napping, he was still tired and in need of sleep, though he did not want to be rude and kick Ari and Honey out unless the two wanted to leave.
Arquis checked the clock on the bedside table and was surprised to find that they were right. Not late as in midnight, but it was already well into the afternoon. He supposed that it would be getting dark out rather soon. The fact that they’d wasted away the day in bed was both sweet and a little upsetting. His mind told him that he’d spent too much time indoors already. The word lazy popped up again, but he ignored it. He wasn’t lazy. He was supporting his partner and their friends. That was a worthwhile endeavor.
Honey propped himself on his elbows and sighed. “Yeah. I should probably start getting dressed for work. Gotta fix my face and all that.” He moved off of Ari, stood, and stretched, twisting his back and rolling his neck. “Mm. Stranger, you gonna stay?”
Ari flashed Honey a quick smile, rolling onto his side on the bed and watching Honey for a moment. "For a while, at least." he replied, sitting up and stretching a bit. "I hope I'll see you again?" he let the words tip up into a question, not wanting to pressure Honey into spending any more time with him. For all Ari knew, all this flirting had just been Honey's personality, and it didn't mean anything. He hoped that that was not the case, but maybe it was.
Honey reached over and gently rested his palm on their side. His smile was fond and lopsided, like he couldn’t quite control it. That shy happiness from earlier had returned. “I’d like that a lot. Really.”
“See you later, Honey,” Arquis said. He hated to interrupt the moment, but he had the distinct feeling that if nobody said anything then Honey would stand there forever. The blond retracted his hand, waved, and shuffled out the door.
The nobleman waited for the knob to click into place before turning to look at the other two. “So. What was it that you were saying earlier? I am very curious.”
Rin laughed as soon as Arquis asked the question. "He has a tendency to fall for blondes." he replied, laughing as he gave Ari a teasing look. "I was simply reminding him of that fact."
Ari rolled his eyes. "Your lover is a dick." he told Arquis. "Though they at least had the decency to say it in a language that Honey doesn't know." his words were teasing and good-natured; he clearly was not angry with Rin, despite the words used to describe them.
Rin stuck his tongue out at Ari, snuggling close to Arquis again. "He has a pattern. He falls for tall blonds with cute smiles. Over and over again. He has a type."
"Right, like you don't?" Ari arched his eyebrows, gaze flickering from Rin to Arquis and back.
"Oh shut up, that has nothing to do with the topic at hand." they replied, clearing their throat faintly.
Arquis burst into a grin and joined them in laughter. Whatever he’d been expecting, it definitely hadn’t been that. Though he now understood why he hadn’t wanted to bring it up directly in front of Honey. The blond would’ve never let Ari live it down. He loved to tease; there would’ve undoubtedly been plenty of jokes on the matter.
When Ari mentioned the thing about Rin’s type, Arquis finally caught his breath. He smiled so hard that it hurt, and his brows rocketed upwards. “Oh? No, no, please do go on. This topic is of great personal importance, I simply must hear more.”
Ari smirked a little, stretching out on the bed. "He always tends to like tall people with dark hair. Gender is less important for him than for me."
"He's gay." Rin replied blandly, as if Ari's comment about their type didn't bother them at all. Which, to be fair, it really didn't. He and Ari knew each other well enough that if Rin would truly have been uncomfortable with Ari saying it, Ari wouldn't have said it in the first place. "I'm not. Gender doesn't matter to me, but he always falls for guys."
Ari shrugged his shoulders. "Stop trying to change the subject to me and my sexuality, my darling bastard." he replied, sticking his tongue out for a moment.
Rin snorted, sitting up a little bit. "Dickhead."
For some reason, that made Arquis blush. “Ah, I see.” His attempt to act calm and composed failed miserably; his voice cracked, and he looked rather horrified. “Goodness. That was attractive,” he muttered, though he was still smiling.
The way they talked about sexuality and gender was perplexing. It was all so casual. They didn’t hesitate or beat around the bush. He’d gotten so used to being told that he’d have to wed and bed a woman that he still associated his identity with immorality. His love for those of other genders was a vice, a sin, a crime to keep buried ten feet under. How many times had his father given him talks on the roles of men and women? How many times had he been threatened for even smiling at another man? He had no doubt that his father would have banished him for loving Rin as he did, and Muria would have done even worse. Or would do. He kept forgetting that she was still out there. She’d tried to have him murdered.
“In my family,” he murmured carefully, avoiding Rin and Ari’s eyes, “to be anything other than straight would almost be a death sentence. Perhaps not quite that bad, but it is not allowed.”
Rin looked up at Arquis, softening at his lover's words. "Darling…I'm so sorry." they said softly, cupping Arquis's cheek with one hand, and kissing the other. "That's awful." they were quiet for a long moment. "Kevra…tends to be very accepting of people like us." he gestured vaguely to all three of them. "Many of our gods are attracted without care for gender, or for the same gender as themself, and many also do not identify along a specific gender, ah…" he paused to think of the word. "Binary. So acceptance, for us, is tied into our religion and beliefs. We do not shame those like us, because if we did, we would be passing judgement on the gods themselves. So acceptance is…generally neutral, if not positive." his gaze flicked to Ari for a moment, then back to his partner.
Ari cleared his throat. "My family…I'm trans." he admitted quietly. "Which means that I was born into the body of a woman. I still have…some female, ah, parts. And my family is not as accepting as they could be. They wouldn't hurt me, but they don't always respect me. So, I understand where you're coming from, a bit."
Arquis felt a spark of compassion for Ari, and he looked over at him with an empathetic pain in his eyes. He knew the feeling of being disrespected very well. And it frustrated him. None of them had done anything wrong. They wanted to love others and live as their authentic selves. What could be so horrid about that?
“That time that we were, ah…” Arquis gestured vaguely at Rin, flushing and lowering his voice. “Were almost together. You asked if I knew how, um, two people that were born with the same anatomy were supposed to be together. And I panicked. That was because of this. For two people of the same making to be intimate is reviled in most parts of Anvillea. Both parties would be ostracized, and their families would be humiliated. There are even private seminars intended to correct those that do not identify with the majority group.” He swallowed and looked down at his gloved hands. “I was fortunately never forced to take one, but my father attempted to fix me nonetheless. I still often think myself corrupted. Revolting. Wrong. For having thoughts. For wanting…”
He couldn’t keep going, but he hoped he’d gotten the idea across. He’d never been able to explore his identity because doing so was forsaken. Even thinking about it—having any sort of impure thought about Rin—made him feel like he should be punished. Like he was doing something inherently reprehensible. He knew it wasn’t true, but the concept had been hammered into his mind.
Rin gently took Arquis's hands, smoothing his thumb across Arquis's knuckles. "Oh, darling…" he said softly. "I'm so sorry." they kissed Arquis's cheek again. "And…you are not corrupted, or revolting, or wrong. None of us are. This is who we are. No one can help the way they feel, or the body that they're born into. Ari isn't wrong for working to transition so that he could live the way he wanted and needed to. He isn't wrong for making changes to his body to fit with his needs. You and I are not wrong for caring for each other, or for being attracted to each other. Sex does not have to be for procreation, or only between a man and a woman." they weren't sure how, precisely, to comfort Arquis best, but he was doing his best. He didn't know exactly what Arquis meant, what the nobleman's father had done to try and "fix" the young man, but from what he had heard of Arquis's father, he was sure that it was nothing good.
Their touch was so soft that it almost made him cry, but he managed to hold it in. “I know that now,” he whispered, “I promise. I know that we are not any of those things, just as I know that we are not wrong for living as we are. But I cannot help it sometimes. That is what I was taught. It is how I was raised. I loathe it because I love this, and I love you, and I-”
Arquis froze, realizing what he’d just said. His cheeks went hot. Was this the first time he’d officially told Rin that he loved them? Was it was too soon? Sure, he called him love quite frequently, but this was different. Very different. He felt his pulse begin to race.
“I, ah- I did not- I, um-” He looked to Ari for help, wide-eyed.
He froze for a moment at Arquis's confession, breath leaving him in a startled rush as he looked up at Arquis, trying to process that. Sure, they had called each other "love" and "darling" and all of that but that was far different from this. This was a confession. And…and he didn't know how to respond. Was it alright to say it back, or was it still too early?
Ari's gaze flickered between the two, and he gave Arquis the faintest shrug, not speaking. This was definitely not a conversation that he should be intruding upon; it was a rather important thing, what Arquis had just confessed, and Ari was not going to interrupt or try to "fix" anything.
Rin took a deep breath, then another, trying to give himself just a moment to consider how they should respond. "I…believe that I love you too, darling." he finally said, very softly. "If you are sure about it. Because I don't want…I know you aren't as experienced in this, and I do not want to rush you into anything."
Arquis swept them into his arms and kissed the top of his head. For a long moment, he just held him close. He’d messed up. He now wanted to reassure them that everything was alright.
“Rin, I might be new to this feeling, but I know what it is. And I also know that it is very soon to have confessed it. Too soon. For that I do apologize. This is not how I would have liked to have told you. I was speaking impulsively. That does not mean that what I said was not the truth, but it does mean that I should not have said it so early.” He leaned away so that he could look at them directly. “We will be able to explore this topic more in the future; we are not lacking in time. I do not wish for my hasty confession to have negatively impacted our relationship. We do not have to pretend that it did not occur, but please do not feel pressured into taking such a large step forward at this point. What we have is already wonderful.”
