Rin shifted again to lie on his side next to Arquis, giving him a bit more space, and let the man stammer and stumble his way through his sentence. "We do not have to do anything you want to, darling." he said softly. "Though my first question is whether you know how sex works between two people who are anatomically male." they raised their eyebrows just a little bit, eyes free of judgement, just filled with a soft, gentle warmth.
Arquis covered his eyes with a hand, just as he had earlier in the spa. The blush was raging intensely; it felt like there was a fire on his face. He couldn’t look at them. Even if his eyes were gentle and nonjudgmental, even if they were trying to care for him. He just couldn’t do it. His heart felt like it was going to pop right out of his chest, and his lungs were close behind.
“I have- I have never- I do not- it is not allowed,” he finished. That last word came out with a noticeable wobble. “It is not allowed. I cannot. I will be- I will be punished. I cannot think of it, I cannot-”
Rin moved closer, but still not onto Arquis, wrapping their arms around him again and holding onto him. "It's alright, darling." they whispered. "It is alright, I promise you. I won't let anyone hurt you for this." privately, he wondered if Arquis's father had said or done something to make him so afraid of this. Of sex, with Rin.
Arquis wasn’t crying, but he was shaking like a leaf in a tornado. It took him a minute to realize that they weren’t going to physically press the issue any further, at least not while he was in such a state, and he gradually began to relax. He’d flinched when they’d hugged him. He wasn’t sure if he’d noticed, but he kind of hoped they hadn’t.
“Sorry. Sorry, my dear. I am so terribly sorry about all that. It is just that, well, I get emotional when tired, and I suppose I got myself worked up into a state.”
As far as lies went, it was a pretty poor one. People didn’t freak out over such small things because they were kind of sleepy. But he was scared Rin would think differently of him if he talked about his past experience with the topic. Better to avoid it entirely.
“Thank you for being so sweet.”
They had noticed, but had not pulled away, only loosened their grip a tiny bit. "I see." they really didn't believe him, though. "Is there anything I can do to help you feel safer?" he asked in a quiet tone, reaching up to gently card his fingers through Arquis's hair. They had noticed how hesitant Arquis was around the matter of sex, and didn't want to press any furhter than he was willing to go.
“Safer?” He cocked his head slightly, surprised at the question, then gave it a shake. His hair became mussed against the pillowcase. “Safer implies that I feel there is a threat, like, um, something to be weary of. And that is not the case. I am alright. To have- or to do whatever you might want.” His tone had adopted a stubborn, determined quality, but his eyes were still wide and nervous. Slowly, he repeated, “Whatever you want.”
He lifted his hand from where it was resting limply against the blankets and mechanically brought it to Rin’s side. It felt like he was watching someone else’s movements. His bones didn’t feel like his own. His skin didn’t looks quite right. He smiled weakly at them, hoping he wouldn’t be upset.
They shook their head faintly. "We are not doing anything unless you want to, Arquis." they said softly. "And I don't think you want to. I don't want you to feel like you have to just to make me happy." he kept gently running his fingers through Arquis's hair, not sure what was wrong, but wanting to comfort Arquis anyway.
“But it would? It would make you happy? Is that not something I should strive for?” Arquis asked softly. The hand on their hip hesitated, then traveled upwards to his back. Safer territory; shallow waters. He couldn’t read Rin’s expression. He couldn’t tell what they needed from him. “Your happiness—I do want that, my love. Even if I do not want- well. It does not matter.”
Rin frowned, shaking his head slightly. "Arquis, it wouldn't make me happy to have sex with you if you didn't want it." they said, looking at Arquis. "I can be perfectly happy without sex, it is not something that I need. Do I think sex with you would be enjoyable, when we are both ready? Yes. Do I think it would be enjoyable right now? No. You aren't ready, and that's okay, love." his words were soft, but earnest.
“But I want to be ready. I want to be with you,” Arquis insisted, sounding a mixture of sad and frustrated. He rolled until he was on his stomach, burrowed his face in the mattress, and sighed deeply. Everything about the situation was getting to him. His fear; his past; his inability to be a good partner.
“I wish I was not like this,” he admitted quietly. The words were muffled but not inaudible. He turned his head to see Rin. The sadness had morphed into something calmer. Just looking at them soothed his turbulent mood.
Rin took a deep breath, rubbing Arquis's back gently. "You will be ready if and when you're ready, Arquis." they said in a soft tone. "And I…I do not mind that you are "like this"." he pressed a kiss to his lover's cheek, soft and sweet. "We are all different, and have our own issues, and we can work through things together."
When Rin pulled away after the cheek kiss, Arquis followed him. His eyes were closed, but he managed to find their mouth easily, and once they finished talking he brought their lips together. This kiss was lacking the burning desperation of its predecessors. It was an apology, an expression of gratitude, and a promise all in one. He was trying to work through everything with Rin. And he did believe that the two of them were healing, albeit slowly. Progress was not fast nor linear.
When he finally moved away, he was spent. He was half asleep before his head hit his pillow again. His eyes opened just a crack to see Rin once more, and he gave him a gentle, uneven smile.
“You are lovely,” he mumbled, voice a touch slurred from exhaustion. He lifted his hand to their cheek and swept the pad of his thumb across it. “I so adore you.”
Rin gave him another little smile, returning the kiss happily. When Arquis's hand stroked along his cheek, they turned their head to nuzzle Arquis's hand. "And I you, darling." they said in a soft tone, closing their eyes for a moment. "Now sleep, I shall be here when you awaken." they could see that Arquis was tired, and wanted him to sleep.
“How could I possibly sleep when I am so awake?” he murmured, then immediately yawned. That lopsided smile grew. “That was truly unfortunate timing. I suppose I will do as you said. Not because I am tired, but because you are just so terribly cute.”
The hand that was on their face gently squished his cheek. Arquis laughed—it was more of a breathy, quick exhale than a real laugh—and shifted closer to him. He flattened his own cheek against their chest, curling up like a cat against a warm pipe or grate.
Rin hummed a little, smiling at Arquis. "Sleep, darling." they repeated. "I will be here." they held Arquis close, gently rubbing his back as the nobleman fell asleep. He smiled a little bit, pulling the blankets closer to the both of them.
Five minutes passed, then ten, then twenty. After a full half hour, Arquis’s eyes opened. They were glossy and unfocused. He groaned, shifted in their arms, and tried to sleep once more. After twenty more minutes, he sat all the way up.
“Damn it,” he muttered, clawing a hand through his hair. He sighed and flopped back against his pillow. The smile he gave Rin was apologetic. “You would think that sleep would come easy for someone so tired.”
Rin blinked at him, smiling back lightly. "It's alright, darling." he said in a soft voice, kissing Arquis's forehead. "Is there some way I can help you get to sleep?" they were feeling a little drowsy themself, though that was mainly from being warm and cozy in their blankets.
“I do not believe so.” Arquis kissed his forehead three times in a row, then settled into the pillow again. His expression was pinched. He passed a hand over his eyes and yawned. “Perhaps I should try again.”
He let his eyes drift close and crossed his arms. Fifteen minutes later, he was awake again. He kissed Rin on temple, then stood.
“I think I will hunt down some drawing supplies. It will not take long.”
When Arquis spoke, Rin peered up at him, sitting up. "Alright. I'm going to write Ari a note; it's been a while since I last wrote to him." they said, getting out of the bed and going over to his bags. The way he communicated with Ari was done through Ari's magic; they were not quite sure what Ari's magic was, exactly, but it enabled them to send notes back and forth nearly simultaneously.
“Of course. I will leave you to it. Be back shortly, my dear.”
Arquis paused to slip on an extra mask that had been in one of the gift baskets. He left, not bothering to lock the door behind him. He’d only be out for a minute. Someone, either Lovey or Divinity or even Honey, would be at the front desk, and if they knew where to get art supplies then they would tell him. If they were too far from the inn, then he would see if a trader would come soon.
Sure enough, Lovey was at the front. She was wearing a fluffy pastel pink coat over a short dress in the same color. Her sheer leggings were ruby red, as were her necklace, earrings, and mask. When she saw him approach, she let out a delighted giggle, set her book to the side, and leaned over the desk.
“Hi there, cutie! Long time no see!”
“Hello, Lovey.”
She beamed. “What can I do for you?”
He asked her about the art supplies. She tapped her chin for a moment, then leapt out of her seat. She disappeared for a few minutes before returning with a large case. Attached to it was a card of some sort, though he couldn’t read what it said.
“These aren’t technically for public use, but I asked Honey and he said that it was alright! He also said some other stuff that I didn’t wanna repeat, so I made him write it down.”
“Thank you so much,” he replied, taking both the case and the card. He gave her an awkward one-armed hug across the desk before turning to go to the room.
On the way back, he began to read the card. His face went bright red. There was a lot of very descriptive imagery involving a variety of different anatomical parts. He only got about halfway through—up to a part about candle wax and melted chocolate—before skipping to the end. Anymore and his face would’ve been so hot that he would’ve spontaneously burst into flames. At the bottom, Honey had signed that it was all in jest, and that he’d very much meant none of it—unless, of course, Arquis was interested. When Arquis reached the room, he opened the door with his free hand and handed the note to Rin.
Rin settled himself on the bed again, paper and a pen in hand as he got to work penning a letter to his friend. When Arquis came back, they raised their eyebrows at his bright pink face. "Everything alright?" He asked, taking the card and reading it. His eyebrows crept up again, a laugh leaving his mouth. "And does any of this pique your interest?" He asked in a teasing tone, looking over at Arquis with a laugh.
Arquis responded with a sound between a groan and a laugh as he sank down onto the bed. He tossed the case of supplies a little ways away.
“Not particularly. He sure is persistent, though, I will give him that.” He reached over and plucked the card out of their grasp, then, in his best imitation of Honey’s accent, read, “‘And if you’re not really into that, we could try something rougher.’ Who in the world writes that sort of thing in a note? Goodness. I could not even get through it all. He has a way with words. Not a good way, but certainly a way.”
Rin laughed. "Darling, he's being flirtatious. Perhaps a bit overly so, but it's harmless." he replied, shifting closer to Arquis and setting his letter supplies aside. They were tempted to ask if Arquis's answer would change if it was Rin doing them, but they did not want to press him.
“Oh, yes, I know his intentions. He wrote them out very clearly in the second line. And the third, the fourth, and the fifth…”
Arquis let out a cough that was suspiciously close to a laugh and smiled, blushing profusely. As he shifted closer to Rin, the card fluttered from his grip to the floor. He gestured at it.
“It is absolutely ridiculous how much imagery he put into that tiny thing. That was perhaps the most descriptive paragraph I have ever laid eyes on. He should consider a career in writing, since tempting us is going so poorly.”
He laughed again, kissing Arquis's cheek softly. "Ah, darling." they replied, laughing still and smiling over at him. "None of it made you feel anything other than amusement?" he truly was curious, but did want to respect Arquis's boundaries.