“I’ll clear out of here, then, and give you two some privacy. Feel free to use the hot tub or just take some time to relax. There aren’t any other clients that need the room, so you can take as long as you’d like.”
Arquis smiled at her. “Thank you. You have been absolutely wonderful, Serenity.”
“It’s been my pleasure! Let me know if you two need anything else. I’ll be down the hall.”
Before she left, she popped two pairs of warm, fuzzy slippers from the cart and left them by the hot tub. She informed them that they didn’t need to return the robes or the slippers, then ducked outside. Arquis stood slowly and stretched. He put the empty water glass on the nearest surface, smoothed down his robe, and went to sit on the edge of the hot tub. The water, which was strewn with flowers, was bubbling.
He looked away from the water and up at Rin. His gaze was soft. Throughout most of the session, all he’d really wanted to do was hold them. But he was still too rattled to ask for it.
“What would you like to do, my dear?” he asked quietly.
Rin waved as Serenity left, getting up from the seat and moving to sit beside Arquis. "Mm, I think I would just like to sit with you for a bit." he said, wrapping an arm around Arquis and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "If that is something you would also enjoy?" they gave him a soft, gentle little smile.
“Please, yes,” Arquis whispered, immediately melting into his touch. He tucked his head under their chin and let out a sigh that was shakier than he’d anticipated. Apparently, the whole thing with the gloves had made him feel more vulnerable than he’d initially let on. He positioned himself so that both of his arms were around them.
The Palace couldn’t harm him, he thought, head clouding with a blissful fog, if he was with Rin. They felt like safety and warmth. He kissed the hollow of his throat, fighting back the urge to nip at that spot. There was a time and place for everything. His breath ghosted over it as he caressed their shoulder blade with his fingers.
Rin held onto Arquis gently, kissing the top of his head. He inhaled very quietly at the kissing and the touching, happy to just hold his partner. "How are you feeling, darling?" he asked very softly, their gaze and touch soft and gentle. "I know today has been a lot for you."
“Mm,” was all he could manage. He shook his head against their chest and kissed his throat again, then closed his eyes. His exhaustion from staying up all night had finally caught up to him. He yawned quietly. After a moment, he shifted again so that both of his legs were over theirs. That wasn’t very comfortable, so he moved again, this time sitting directly on their lap. He opened his eyes and squinted at them.
“You are not a bed,” he muttered, which had seemed like a very intelligent thing to say in his head. It’d sounded pretty strange out loud, he had to admit.
Rin squinted right back at him, a quiet laugh pulling from his mouth. "I am not, my darling, but I don't mind holding you." he replied, pulling Arquis closer and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "I care for you, and you seem tired."
“Do not make that face at me,” Arquis warned, but it wasn’t a genuine command. It was teasing and paired with a soft, sleepy smile. He reached up, placed his thumbs at the sides of Rin’s mouth, and moved them very gently until they were smiling as well. That made him laugh. His hands dropped into his lap.
“I am not tired,” he insisted after a little bit, as if he’d just heard him. “Not at all. I am very awake. Lucid. Articulate. Eloquent. And I would like it a whole lot if you did that again. Kissed me. Please.”
Rin let Arquis move their lips around, then kissed the side of his head. "You are not fully awake, dear, I think you are more tired than you are letting on." he said softly, holding Arquis close. "But that is just fine. I like holding you."
Arquis shook his head again and smothered another yawn with the back of his hand. He kissed the underside of their jaw twice before leaning away. With one of his fingers, he tapped their lips, then tapped his own.
“Please?” he murmured. “Unless you do not wish to. I understand that. I do. You do not have to. But if you want to, then please?”
He wasn’t sure why he was so desperate all of the sudden, but he didn’t like it. He felt extremely weak and vulnerable. He felt like begging. He felt like crying. He wanted them to kiss him, and he wanted him to refuse. His head hurt from all of the emotions swirling inside of it.
(heading to bed now, goodnight!)
Rin studied him carefully, unsure where all of these emotions were coming from, but complied with Arquis's request, pressing his mouth to his partner's. "There we are, darling." they said soothingly as they pulled away, gently stroking a hand through the nobleman's hair.
(okie dokie goodnight!)
Arquis let his head drop against their shoulder and crumpled inwards. The only thing keeping him grounded was the hand in his hair. He nodded frantically for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut, and waited. Clarity and calm came after about four long minutes of silence.
“Sorry. Sorry, love. I am so sorry. I did not mean to lose my composure like that. I am terribly sorry.” He swallowed and moved his head instead to the spot over their heart. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat was soothing. “I just wanted- I think I just wanted to be good? For you? I have caused you trouble all day, and I just- I thought I could- I wanted to make you feel nice.”
He wasn’t making much sense. This sort of thing always happened when he was very tired. He could tolerate a certain amount of sleeplessness without a problem, but eventually he got emotional. On days like these, he’d drink himself to sleep, yet he couldn’t do that anymore. Not with Rin around. He wanted to be a better person for them. He didn’t want to crash or be pale and withdrawn and hungover.
Naturally, he’d said all of that aloud. He hadn’t meant to, but he couldn’t seem to stop talking once he’d started.
Rin listened quietly to the outpouring of words from Arquis's lips, still gently stroking his partner's hair. "Shh, it's alright." he said softly, kissing Arquis's forehead. "It's okay." he reached up with his other hand to rub Arquis's back, still trying to soothe him. "I've got you, darling. You don't have to be perfect for me, love. We all have bad days."
“I am not having a bad day,” Arquis protested weakly. In an act of desperation, he leaned up to kiss the sensitive point below one of their ears, then trailed his lips to his collarbone. The edge of their robe brushed against his cheek as he pressed his forehead to the bare skin of his chest.
“Just fine. I am just fine.” He closed his eyes. After a moment, the tension drained from his frame, and he went limp against them.
"Mm." He didn't comment on whether or not they believed that Arquis was not having a bad day, merely continued to hold him. When the nobleman went limp, Rin looked down at him, concerned by this move. He wanted to make sure his lover was alright, but they also knew Arquis seemed to need sleep right now more than anything. If Arquis had just suddenly fallen asleep, Rin was just going to let him sleep.
Arquis had in fact fallen asleep. Not quite mid sentence, but the effect was the same. He certainly hadn’t meant to drift off. Almost immediately, he woke up, an abrupt gasp escaping his mouth. It took him a second for his vision to settle and his pulse to steady itself. He detached himself from Rin and staggered to his feet, scrubbing at his eyes furiously.
“Goodness, I apologize. That was embarrassing,” he admitted in a small voice. At this point, he just felt defeated. But he wasn’t going to tell them that. He’d already ruined so much of the day; there was no reason to do more damage. He put on what he hoped was a charming smile. “You are very warm.”
They let out a faint laugh when Arquis awoke, and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. "You're alright, my lovely." he replied. "Get some sleep if you need it. I understand." they released him as soon as he pulled away, watching him quietly. "We can go back to the bedroom and get some sleep."
“No. No!” Arquis’s eyes lit up with urgency. He hurried closer again and cupped their hands in his, as if skin-to-glove contact would make everything better. “I am fine. Really, my dear, it was just a bit of a slip-up. It will not happen again.”
He dropped his hands and spread his arms as wide as they would go. It looked almost as if he was a stage performer, though performers typically weren’t so messy-haired and sleepy-eyed.
“See? Perfectly alright. No need to cut the day short. No need to rest.”
Rin watched him uncertainly, not quite knowing what their best choice was in this situation. "Arquis, darling, can you sit down for me?" he asked softly. "And take a few deep breaths." he wanted to talk this through with him logically, but knew that in Arquis's state that would be hard, if not impossible, to accomplish. "Breathe, darling."
Arquis flushed unevenly and rapidly shook his head. His arms fell to his sides, then wrapped about himself, as if he was literally holding himself together.
“I am not hyperventilating. I do not need to breathe deeply. I will not sit. I am alright, and everything is fine, and we are supposed to be having a nice day. Can we not just have a nice day? Please?”
He wasn’t thinking before speaking. Words were zipping out of his mouth so quickly that most of them were blurring together. He wasn’t looking at Rin anymore. His gaze was at some point in the distance, lost in the churning water of the hot tub. He shivered and squeezed himself tighter. It wasn’t cold in the room, but he always shook when he was overwhelmed.
If he had looked in the mirror at that moment, he would have been shocked to see how he looked. His pupils were dilated, and he was paler than the snow outside. The only color in his face were those aggressive splotches of red in his cheeks. He looked off. Sickly, almost, though he wasn’t ill.
Rin stood up, carefully approaching Arquis. "Darling, please sit down." he said very softly, reaching out to place their hands on Arquis's shoulders. "You look…you look ill." they didn't know what else to do; they just wanted to soothe Arquis, to help calm him, and maybe get him to take a nap.
The touch changed something in him. Arquis let out a shallow exhale. He swayed slightly as he stepped forward and, after a moment of silence, curled an arm around their back. His fingers loosely clenched the fabric of his robe. He pulled them flush against himself.
“My apologies, love. I was not thinking straight.” The panicked fit seemed to have come to a close. His voice was no longer as fast nor as frantic, and though he was still trembling, his body had lost most of that nervous tension. He very lightly kissed their cheek, as if he was kissing something fragile. As if he himself hadn’t been the fragile one just seconds before.
“I did not mean to frighten you. Are you alright?” This time, he kissed their mouth, though it was just as gentle as the first.
Rin wrapped their arms around Arquis's shoulders, holding him close. "I am alright." he breathed. "You frightened me, darling, I was not sure if you were ill, or sick, or…" they closed their eyes for a moment, returning Arquis's kisses with his own soft ones. "Should we head back to the bedroom, and you can take a nap?"
“Sleepless nights and nerves are a nasty combination. They do not make for a good time,” Arquis admitted quietly, “but I am feeling better now. I would prefer it if we did not retire quite yet.”
He ghosted his lips over theirs once again, then went in for something deeper. Some part of him knew doing so was illogical. How were they supposed to respond? But he didn’t want to stop. Rin tasted of chocolate, and he was pleased to find that the flavor didn’t upset him any longer. It wasn’t nougat, at least.
Rin nodded a little bit, letting out a quiet sound at the deeper kiss. His grip tightened on Arquis's shoulders, their eyes flickering shut as they leaned closer, holding onto the nobleman.
Arquis realized partway into their kissing that he was hunching slightly to reach them. That was a bit of an issue, as he still wasn’t the steadiest on his feet. A solution to that problem popped into his head, and he took it without second thought, nudging Rin until the both of them were up against a wall. He put his palms flat against the wall just above their shoulders and leaned back just a little to observe him. If they thought the position was too much—if they felt pinned or trapped or threatened—then he would give them room.
“How is this?” he asked. His stomach had that strange, fluttery feeling again, and he smiled at them. Compared to the anxious kisses they’d had earlier, this felt better. More stable. Less like he was desperately striving to earn Rin’s favor and more like they were a legitimate couple.
