In a voice calmer than it had been all day, he said, “I need you to forget what you believe you saw and leave me alone.”
He was cradling the crumpled, discarded gloves against his stomach. They looked as limp and broken as two dead birds. He did not slip them on, did not even so much as look at them, but the way he clung to them was almost mournful.
“Go to the balcony, if you must, or find your way to Quirisa or Marsiquia. But do not stay here.”
"I…" he got off the bed, watching Arquis with soft, cautious eyes. "I really am sorry, Arquis." their voice was quiet, and oh so gentle. "But I…I cannot leave. Your mother…she ordered me not to leave you." he did back away to give Arquis as much space as possible. "I'm sorry." they apologized again, unable to stop himself from doing so.
He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and exhaled. The raised scars pushed a pattern into his sensitive eyelids; he could feel them even without seeing them. Though he didn’t really need to see them, as each and every one was committed to memory.
A tremor ran through his body, starting in the shoulders and working down to his waist. Then another, then another. He bit down hard into the damaged skin on his wrist to prevent any noises from escaping. If he had to cry in front of them, then he would do it in silence, saving the last scraps of his shattered dignity.
Rin hesitated for a long moment. They wanted to wrap their arms around Arquis to try and comfort him, but didn't think their touch was wanted. So he simply said another quiet "I'm sorry", and then ducked out onto the balcony to try and give him some space and quiet. He sat down, leaning their head on the edge of the balcony with a faint sigh. He had not meant to upset Arquis like this, but Syeda had needed to do this.
Arquis broke down for ten minutes straight, shuddering and crying without making a sound. When the episode finally subsided, he lowered his hands. They were the first thing he saw. That almost tipped him over the edge again; he had to wrap them in his sheets until the black dots fled from the corners of his vision.
He ran a check of himself. First and foremost, he was tired. No amount of sleep in the world could solve that problem. He was also still feverish, and his lips and throat were incredibly dry. The crying had only exacerbated his symptoms. Luckily, the cup of water Syeda had given him was still half full, and he finished the rest in a few short swallows. He still couldn’t move his legs, though he did admittedly feel more hopeful about them than before. For as much as he hated Syeda for forcing him, she had probably been right to do so. He wished she hadn’t roped Rin into it.
His heart skipped a beat. Rin—he had been so rude to Rin. They didn’t seem to be in the room. He called out his name nervously and waited for a response.
Rin stayed out on the balcony for the full ten minutes, eventually closing their eyes and just letting their mind wander for a while. When he heard Arquis calling out for him from inside, they stood up and came back in, gaze moving to where the nobleman sat on the bed. "I'm here." he said quietly, closing the balcony door behind themself, so that the chilly outside air couldn't get in. "How are you feeling?"
He ignored the question, instead bundling a nearby blanket in his arms and holding it out. The golden tassels of it stuck out over his elbows.
“Rin, words cannot describe how sorry I am. I have been awfully cruel to you,” his mouth twitched in embarrassment, “while you have been incredibly patient. And… and to think I just… well. Please, take this and warm yourself up.”
They took the blanket, wrapping it around their shoulders. "It's alright." he said softly. "I don't know the full story behind the scarring, and that's okay. I don't need to and I am not asking for it in any way. But I knew that it was not something you wanted to share. I am very sorry for taking that choice from you, even if it was necessary for your medical care. Your anger and hurt is perfectly understandable."
“Thank you, but you do not need to be sorry,” he said, warmth flooding his voice. His eyes, which were red from crying, crinkled around the edges as he smiled comfortingly. “While you are correct in that it is not something I am… ready, I suppose, to discuss, you said it yourself. You had no choice. Had you not helped the doctor, I likely would have died. I forgive you for anything you might have done in the process of saving me.”
He wrung his hands together, then tensed, shocked at the feeling. They were hardly ever bare. He looked at his pitiful, wrinkled gloves with disdain, his brow furrowing at how pathetic they seemed.
“Can I ask for you to…” He gestured at the glove boxes in his wardrobe. “I would get a clean pair myself, but…”
"Of course." Rin stepped over to the closet, bringing back a few different boxes so that Arquis had some choices to choose from. He set the boxes on the bed, quiet and watchful. He didn't want to upset Arquis again; the man was going through enough stress as it was.
Arquis opened a box to reveal a pair of thin satin gloves sitting daintily in tissue paper. He put them on as fast as possible, refusing to look at his hands for a second more than necessary, and gave Rinlos an appreciative smile.
“Thank you.” He bit his already chapped lips and looked down at the gloves. For about a minute, he pretended to adjust them, throat choked up again with emotion.
“I really,” he began, shook his head, and started again. “I really am just quite accident-prone. It is why I started wearing these. To prevent myself from harm.” When he looked up, his expression was pleading, and the words that followed were soft yet insistent. “That is the only reason.”
Rin took the boxes, setting them back in the closet, then turned back to Arquis. "Are you sure?" he said in a soft voice. "I used to have a lot of, ah… "Accidents"… and I…" they trailed off, biting their lips for just a moment. "I would not want that to be happening to you."
“I…” He pushed his fingers into his temple and let out an anxious, unsteady sigh. “I am being rather unfair, aren’t I? Making you spill your past last night and then turning around in the morning to bury mine. But you must understand that this is more than my past. It is my present, and it is my future, as well. And I cannot let you get involved more than you already are. I could not bear it if I was…” he trailed off, resisting tears again. “If I was the reason you got hurt.”
Rin hesitated for a moment. He did not want to press, did not want to force this story from Arquis, but yet, they wanted to keep him safe, if they could. He nodded slowly. "I understand. I… I will not press you for answers, but know that if you ever need someone who will listen, I will." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "And don't worry about my safety. I can take care of myself, and I know how to disappear if I need to." They gave him a soft smile.
Arquis did not smile back. He blinked and wrung his hands together like always, pressing down on the fresh scars. The subtle pain was a reminder.
“I am glad to know that you will get yourself out of harm’s way if need be,” he murmured. He knew what was upsetting him, but he didn’t want to admit it. Shouldn’t he be pleased that they would disappear? Why did it bother him that he might be alone again? They’d have to go when the snow melted, anyways. He’d have to say goodbye eventually.
Rin nodded a little bit. "Yes. But, I should like to help keep you… safe. Or comfortable. I don't know." He glanced away, clearing their throat softly. "If you need to talk, I will listen." They tugged on a lock of hair, and a little later their stomach rumbled. He laughed a little. "Sorry, I haven't, ah, eaten yet today. Are you hungry? Or anything?"
They wanted to keep him safe? Arquis almost laughed at that—safe was an impossibility—but he couldn’t ignore the bright spark of joy in his chest. It grew into a full-on inferno when he heard them laugh, and he hid his own laugh in his sleeve.
“Do not apologize, it is quite alright. I must admit that I am not particularly hungry,” he said, frowning suddenly, “though perhaps I should be. I cannot remember the last time I had a full meal. I normally eat at least once a day.”
They frowned a little at that. "I'll order you food anyways. You need to eat. Some soup, maybe? It's easier on the stomach." when had Rin turned into such a mother hen? They didn't know, but they didn't particularly mind right now. Arquis needed someone to be a bit of a mother hen right now. He got off the bed, heading to the door and sticking his head out again. Once he saw a maid, he flagged her down and asked for some food. For himself, whatever the kitchens had right now was fine, but for Arquis he requested some soup. Chicken noodle, preferably. They knew that that one was both good for you and a comfort food.
The maid looked confused at being asked to bring chicken soup first thing in the morning, but she didn’t protest. The tail ends of her thin braids swished as she disappeared down the hall. She returned about twenty minutes later pushing a wheeled cart. On it was a small soup pot with an ornate lid, a set of utensils, two bowls, a ladle, a tea kettle, and a tray with a cloche. She pushed it inside the bedroom, not looking at Arquis at all, and lifted the cloche. It revealed a vegetable breakfast tart in a pan with fluted edges. With a cursory glance at Rinlos, she gracefully stepped back into the hallway.
“I imagine it is tomato soup. Most other kinds would take a while to simmer.” Arquis sighed and dabbed the sweat from his collarbones. He didn’t have an appetite at all. “Rin, I am not sure how much I… I really am not that hungry.”
"It is not tomato soup, I asked for chicken noodle. It has protein and it's good for you." Rin replied. "And I want you to eat at least some of it." he sat down on the bed and opened up the soup pot, ladling some into one of the bowls, setting a spoon in the bowl, and holding it out to Arquis. "Are you well enough to feed yourself, or do you want my assistance?" he didn't mind spoon-feeding Arquis if they needed to.
“I am not a child,” Arquis mumbled. He took the bowl and settled it on his lap. It was lucky he couldn’t feel his legs; otherwise, it might burn a tad. “And I am not completely useless. I can feed myself perfectly fine.”
He stared down at the soup for a moment, silent. His reflection was marred by carrot chunks, diced onion, and floating bits of celery. Aromatic steam wafted up from the thin yellow broth. He lifted his spoon. Brought it to his lips. Paused. Blew on it. Paused again. Swallowed it, pulled a face, and set the spoon down.
“I hope you don’t think me too spoiled. All of the chefs I could ever want, ingredients and spices from all over the world, and I… I have trouble with it.”
He watched Arquis quietly, picking up the vegetable tart and taking a bite. They shook their head a little. "No, it's alright." They said softly. "Just, do try and eat the soup? You haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours, and you need to keep your strength up." He didn't want Arquis to die of malnutrition. Soup was light enough that Arquis would likely be fine.
Arquis nodded, lifting the spoon again. The second spoonful was easier; it always was. He couldn’t really taste the flavor, but the heat of it was admittedly quite nice. It warmed him from the inside out.
He made it through about half the bowl before letting the spoon’s handle drop. When he spoke, his words were weak and laced with weariness. “I think that is as much as I can take.”
There was a fast knock on the door. Barely two seconds after it sounded, a familiar figure barged in: Quirisa. She was proudly boasting a black eye and a new scar through her eyebrow that was at least an inch long.
“Bard. Brother.” Quirisa gave them each a tilt of her head. “Good to see you both survived the night. I would stay and chat, but Muria’s got me here on errand duty. There’s been a change of plans. She says that the bard’s free to go.”
Rin's gaze flicked from sibling to sibling, a touch confused. "The snow hasn't melted enough." he pointed out. "I cannot really… leave." and he didn't quite want to. Part of them wanted to stay here, with Arquis. "So I'm not sure I quite understand."
“Nah, not leave the Palace. Just him. She says you’re no longer stuck with him, basically. She’s putting someone else on watch.” She adjusted the loose fur coat that was swishing around her shoulders and cleared her throat. The blue-black shine of her bruised eye looked angry in the morning light. “I did some investigating overnight. Someone actually confessed. But we don’t know enough at this point to tell the whole story, so keep it hush-hush, yeah?”
“Alright.” Arquis twisted his hands together and stared at his blankets, willing his expression blank. “It is probably for the best. You should spend at least some of your time at the estate relaxing, Rin.”
Quirisa’s good brow shot up at the nickname, but she didn’t comment. Instead, she crossed her arms and leant back against the wall, waiting to take Rin to their room.