He shook their head faintly. "No, no it's…he has not…I haven't seen him since I was 19." He said in a quiet tone. "It's not…you cannot have him arrested, he is not in or from Anvillea. He's Kevran, like me. You don't have the jurisdiction for that." They closed their eyes for a moment, rubbing his hand over his face. He didn't know what response he had been expecting, but it wasn't this.
“I see.” Arquis continued to study Rin, a mix of sympathy and fury swelling within him. “That is unfortunate. I would have him locked up for what he did, the pain that he caused you. Or worse.”
He drew in a deep breath and shook his head. “I am sorry if I sound frustrated. None of it is directed at you, I promise. You have done nothing wrong. The fact that he took advantage of you is just vile in a way that words cannot describe. I cannot imagine how difficult it has been for you, even far away from him.”
(Happy Thanksgiving, by the way! If you're American lol)
Rin closed his eyes for a long moment, nodding faintly. "Yeah. He…" It had started when Rin was about 13. The grooming process had, anyway. It had taken a year for it to become more sexual, and another year until Lysander became even more controlling, enough that Rin had hardly been able to do anything without the man's permission. And then it had been like that for nearly four years, with Ari unable to help and Rin's father unwilling to.
(I am! happy Thanksgiving to you too!)
The pit in his stomach deepened as he heard the tone of his voice. He could tell, even as guarded as they were, that the ordeal had been traumatic. A part of his mind was furious; it demanded him to seek out the man anyways and tear him to shreds. That, however, would not help Rin now, so he listened to the logical half instead.
“I am sorry for pushing. Though I am truly glad you have chosen to share your troubles, I should not have forced you to relive your past. If it is any consolation, my opinion of you has not changed. You are incredibly strong, talented, and caring, and you deserve so much better than what the world has given you.”
(:D)
Rin shook their head faintly. "It's…" He let out a slow, slightly shaky sigh. "I'm sorry." They weren't sure what they were apologizing for, but they were. He covered his eyes with their hand, just taking deep breaths and trying to calm down again, trying not to break down again over everything that had happened. "I'm sorry." He said it again, voice shaking very faintly.
“Oh,” Arquis said, feeling and heartbroken and sounding it, too, “oh no, no, you don’t have to apologize. You haven’t done the slightest thing wrong.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and added, as gently as possible, “I am here for you, Rin. You are safe here. If you need to let it out…”
Rin's breath trembled faintly. He shook their head quickly, trying to steady his breathing. "N-no, I…" He sat up abruptly, curling in on himself and covering his face with his hands. "I'm s-sorry." They said again. "I didn't mean…I…I'm sorry for…all of this, I don't…" They were floundering now, uncertain and breaking down.
Arquis, who had been lying on his side, looking towards the musician, now propped himself up properly. Concern shone in his candlelit eyes.
“It is- Rin, really, it is alright. Please do not apologize.” He worried his bottom lip and hovered an anxious hand over their shoulder, wanting to comfort them but still unsure. “I am not upset with you. You seem to have suffered a great deal. You deserve to fall apart every now and then, and you deserve to have someone care for you.”
He wasn't used to talking about this. He wasn't used to saying anything at all about what he had gone through and now it felt like a dam had broken and he couldn't fix it up. "I-I just…you don't deserve the burden of dealing with…with all of…this." they said faintly. "It's not…you're ill, there's no reason you should have to deal with my shit on top of everything else."
“I might be ill, but that does not mean I am unable to care. And I do. I care that you are hurting, and I need you to know that this—you opening up—is not a burden. Not to me.”
His hand was still hovering. He pulled it back. He did not want to risk startling or upsetting Rin, not when he was already so distraught. If they wanted contact, then they could initiate it. He would be glad for it, but he would not push him.
They took in another shaking breath, hands clenching together for just a moment. "I'm sorry." they said again. "I should not be…like this…over just a nightmare." they kept his eyes shut tight, unsure what would happen if he opened them. If he would cry when they opened their eyes, or not.
Arquis smiled sadly. “It is never just a nightmare, Rin. You are not being irrational.”
He wanted more than ever to hold them. They looked and sounded so distressed that it actually made him teary-eyed. He stared at the candle for a few moments, blinking until his vision was clear. If they needed him to be strong, to be there for them, then he would. He had meant what he had said; they deserved a shoulder to lean on.
"I just…most people that I interact with either already know everything that happened or…or don't need to know at all. I…" he trailed off, shaking his head a little bit with uncertainty. "i'm sorry." he dragged a hand over their hair, swallowing faintly.
“You do not need to tell me any more than you already have,” Arquis replied softly, feeling a surge of guilt, “unless that is what you desire. I… I did not wish to upset you more, and I am very sorry indeed if my insistence hurt you.”
He drew away to the far corner of the bed, still in reach if Rin needed him but far enough so that they had space. All he had wanted was to make them feel better. It seemed as if he had done the opposite, shoving him to confront the memory rather than distracting them. He wondered if he should go as far as to leave the room to let them recover but decided against it. Doing so might seem as if he was repelled by the bard, and that was the last thing he wanted.
"No, no, it's not your fault. I always get…I always get messed up after a nightmare. It isn't your fault." Rin said quickly, words tripping over each other in his haste to communicate that to Arquis. "It's not…it's not your fault. Any of it." he bit his lip very faintly, tearing a hand through their hair.
Arquis sighed under his breath, relieved but also a little worried. He couldn’t tell if they were trying to change the subject or attempting to comfort him out of guilt.
“Thank you, but this is not about me. I am supposed to be here for you right now; you do not need to console me.” Without thinking, he reached over and delicately placed his hand over theirs, brushing along their knuckles. He froze and immediately retracted his arm. “Oh, I did not mean to do that. I am so sorry, I just- it looked as if you might be ripping your hair, and I did not- I am sorry if that was too far.”
His eyes opened, flickering to Arquis. "It's, ah…it's fine. I don't mind being touched." he said softly, their eyes moving away again after a moment. "Sorry. I didn't mean…I didn't mean to wake you, earlier, and now…neither of us is going to be able to sleep for a bit. I'm really sorry."
“Rin,” he murmured, smiling fondly despite himself, “do not worry about that. I can sleep in late if I need to, but this is important. I do not mind staying up with you.”
He nudged the hair from his face and gazed down at the bard. His reasonable side was telling him to get up, perhaps try to offer them tea again, but his sympathetic side was telling him differently.
“If you truly do not mind being touched, then would you perhaps like a hug? You do not have to say yes, I promise I will not mind, I just hoped that it might, ah, comfort you.”
Rin took a deep breath, nodding faintly. "I…a hug might be nice, yes." they finally replied, blinking over at the nobleman. "Thank you, Arquis." he had definitely calmed down again, more than he had been earlier for sure.
“There is no need to thank me. Now, come here,” he said, holding his arms out. His limbs felt hot, sore, and stiff from fever, and he wasn’t sure if he could stop them from trembling, but he felt that it didn’t matter. Nothing would prevent him from embracing them unless they were to change their mind.
“I have been told that I give wonderful hugs, but I suppose Marsiquia might be a tad biased. She is my sister, after all.” He hoped that the joke would ease some of the tension, perhaps even make Rinlos smile. It wasn’t that he minded seeing them upset—he wouldn’t have minded if they had cried, either—more so that he wanted him to feel better.
Rin shifted closer, feeling a little awkward but leaning into the hug nonetheless. "Thank you, Arquis." he said softly, closing their eyes and leaning his head on Arquis's shoulder for a moment. "I…" he didn't know what else to say, so they just trailed off.
Arquis let his head rest on top of the bard’s for a moment and ran a hand lightly up their back. The thought flickered through his head that he might be making a mistake. While it felt really nice to have someone—well, maybe not just someone—in his arms, he also wondered whether he really had gone too far. He gave them a gentle squeeze on the shoulder before pulling away.
“Are you tired?” he asked quietly. “I can move to the floor, if you would like to get some rest. I imagine that the nightmare was taxing.”
"I am." they replied honestly. "But you don't have to move to the floor. It's your bed. I'll take the floor, it's no big deal." he sat up again, heading over to the edge of the bed and sliding off of it, standing and turning back to Arquis. "I'll just…take a blanket. Go to sleep."
A frown came over Arquis’s face, and he shook his head. The bed creaked as he heaved himself to his feet. The world went black for a moment; his head spun; his mouth tasted faintly of metal. When he recovered, he was standing slightly hunched, one hand clenched around a bedpost for support. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and sank down onto the floor, dragging his comforter with him.
“I was hoping for that to be a bit more elegant,” he winced, then crossed one leg over the other. “But I hope my point is made. I am not going to let a guest sleep on the ground. Especially not if that guest is you.”
Rin stared down at him in confusion. "Arquis, you're sick." he pointed out. "I've slept in all sorts of odd places; the floor of your bedroom would not be the strangest or most uncomfortable. Please, just sleep on your bed." they were not sure why Arquis was so stubborn about this.