forum The Strangers in the Palace (Closed)(Fantasy)

Started October 31, 2021 by @LovelyRose

tune

(it is, I'm still interested! I've just been pretty busy in the past few weeks, with the holidays + school + work, notebook has kind of been one of the things I've had to let drop for a bit. Sorry to leave you hanging like that, I know I'm usually way more active than this, and unfortunately when I have been on recently, it hasn't been for long, and I hate trying to rush a reply because I don't want to give you absolute shit in response, that's not fair to you)

Rin nodded a little bit, taking in the doctor's words. Yes, he could hear those faint traces of an accent every onw and again, poking through Doctor Lavin's words every now and again. "Where are you originally from?" they asked curiously, fidgeting with their fingers for a moment before settling for lacing them together in his lap, another little exhale leaving him. They weren't sure why they felt slightly nervous about all this, but…ah well. At the doctor's words about Arquis, some color left his face. Had they told Doctor Lavin who Arquis was? Had they said something about the nobleman's history? More importantly…had the doctor said anything? Even in passing? His knee started to bounce, a symptom of the anxiety that had risen in his throat at the doctor's words, the way he had just spoken about Arquis's family when the two of them had tried so hard to keep that knowledge a secret.

"Ah…did we…I cannot remember if we told you that." Rin replied slowly. "And…either way, I must…please do not tell anyone of his presence here. Mine own presence is nothing of importance but his would be." as he spoke, his words quickened, knuckles going white where his hands were clutched together in his lap, fingers digging into his own skin and their accent poking through stronger now, spurred on by the fear in his heart. "No one can know he is here."

Ari laughed a little bit. "Mm, my apologies. I was not very helpful just now, I am afraid." he said, staying snuggled close to the blond man, the blankets and hoodie draped around his body in a protective shell. Something he could hide in, something he could pretend in. "As for gossip…I do not know that I would be of a good…if I would be a good participant. There are too many…" he trailed off, trying to think of what to say, how to say this in a way that Honey would understand. "There are too many secrets that I guard, and many are not mine to tell." most were related to Rinlos. What had happened to them, who they were.

(oh ok, no worries! everyone gets busy now and then haha I just have a hard time figuring out if like someone isn't responding cause of that or if it's cause they're just not into it anymore, and the last thing I'd want is to force you to respond if it was boring you, especially since these messages can be kind of long to read/write sometimes)

Doctor Lavin began to answer his original question, but he stopped when he noticed their shift in mood. They suddenly seemed quite anxious. He offered them a friendly, hopefully soothing smile, the kind he typically gave to very frightened patients. Most of those patients had a phobia of needles, but whatever Rin feared was clearly much worse.

"Oh, I don't know if you told me about his status or anything. I suppose I just kind of filled in the gaps. There aren't that many people in Anvillea named Arquis, and he's pretty, ah, famous for wearing gloves." Famous was a nice way to put it. Really, those gloves were at the heart of a lot of nasty rumors, but he didn't want to bring those up. "I promise I won't tell anyone that he's here, but, well, I'm going to be honest with you. He hasn't done the best job of keeping himself hidden. Anyone could have stumbled into him out there today. And I've already heard some people talking, saying that they've seen a few strangers in town lately. If they connect the dots like I have, then his whereabouts won't be a secret for long."

He hated that he had to say all of that, but Rin needed to be made aware of the truth. Anvilleans absolutely adored gossip. It was perhaps their favorite hobby. He tended to tune it out, but he couldn't help but pick up on some rumors here and there.

"Maybe that would be for the best? If he were to be reunited with his family, I mean. Did you tell them that you two were coming here? If not, they might be worried sick."

——

Honey raised his brows, interested but not willing to push. A lot of secrets were kept hidden for very good reasons, and he'd hate to hold knowledge that could endanger someone's safety or stability.

"Alright. Yeah. We don't gotta talk about that stuff, then," he said, frowning. "I don't wanna pry. Not my business. But, uh, what're we gonna do, then? We've kinda run through a lotta options. And I'm not really that tired right now, so I'd prefer not to go back to sleep. Unless you want to, in which case we can."

(I AM SO SORRY)

Rinlos grimaced, then shook his head quickly at Doctor Lavin's final sentences. "No, you don't–" he broke off with a slightly frustrated exhale, pinching the bridge of their nose as they tried to think of what to say. "His mother is not a kind person." he finally said, slowly. "And we…we came here to hide." their voice quieted and they glanced towards the door, then back to the doctor and Hayli, hands twisting against each other as he fidgeted. "I…if they knew we were here, his mother would send people after us, to bring us back to her." he could not go into detail, but the doctor had to understand. "His…we…" he took a deep breath, shaking their head and hoping that the doctor understood what they were struglging to say.

"'m sorry." he said faintly, closing his eyes and leaning into Honey. "I'm afraid I am not really all that interesting." he let out a quiet laugh, opening an eye to peek up at the blond. "Not right now, anyway." he hated to disappoint Honey like this, not when the other man had been so kind and wonderful this whole time, but yet…oh, this was all so hard. Romance, or whatever this was, was so difficult and he just didn't know what to do about it sometimes.

(haha it's ok! also this is just an idea but what if like Arquis turned himself in? like he saw how much stress the whole situation is causing Rin and how badly he's hurting them so he just does it himself without them knowing, maybe like he sent a letter or something? and then eventually they come to get him, maybe in the middle of the night or something, and Rin/Honey/Ari decide to go to his trial together?)

"She tried to have me killed," came a quiet voice. Doctor Lavin startled, and Hayli let out a startled gasp. Both turned to stare at Arquis. They'd been so distracted with the conversation that they hadn't noticed him slip into the room. He was completely drenched, his clothes clinging to his thin frame, his black hair plastered to his forehead and neck. The chill of the wind and rain had washed him out. That pallid look to his skin gave him an almost otherworldly appearance, as if he was more ghost than man. His hollowed-out cheeks and tired eyes only emphasized the effect.

"Killed?" the doctor echoed, astonished.

"Mm, yes. Quite unpleasant business." He walked over to Rin, but he didn't take a seat. There was a coldness, a distance, to his gaze, and his tone was bitter. "Hello, love. Mind if I take a bath? You might have to move this little rendezvous to another room. I do hope that isn't too much to ask."

——

"Don't say that. You're one of the most interesting men I've ever met. Not the most interest person, though. That honor goes to Pretty. She's got some wild stories from her warrior days. You should ask about them someday. She once scaled a castle wall using a shield. Really cool stuff."

Honey turned his head towards Ari as he spoke, making sure that he saw that he was joking. Pretty was very cool, that was true, but it wasn't a contest.

"You really are interesting, Ari," he said, his voice softening. "I promise you're not boring me. I want to be here. Even if we never decide what we wanna do."

(merry christmas to you too!!)
(Ooh that could be interesting!)

Rin looked up, startled, and lifted to their feet when they spotted Arquis. "Darling, I…" the bitterness, the distance…they didn't know what to do. "Of course you can take a bath. Love, I…" what could he say? They reached out to lightly brush their hand against Arquis's forearm, moving down to take his hand. Their touch was light, easy for Arquis to pull away from if the nobleman needed to. "Arquis." they finally said, hushed and quiet and soft. What else could they say but their lover's name, dropping from their lips like a prayer? "Arquis, lovely, I was so worried about you."

Ari laughed a little bit at Honey's words, raising an eyebrow at the description of Pretty's accomplishments. "That does sound fascinating." he agreed, slowly reaching to run his fingers through Honey's golden curls, feelign those soft strands slide beneath his fingers. "And, well, I'm sure we shall be able to decide what to do someday. Just…not yet." he laughed a little bit, despite the aching pit in his stomach that kept whispering terrible things about him. That Honey was lying to him, Honey didn't like him that much, that he wasn't a man.

(yeah! and then maybe Rin could be kinda conflicted because he's upset with Arquis for going behind their back? but also maybe doesn't know how to bring that up because the trial would already be a lot for Arquis? so it could lead to like some tension and stuff)

That was the wrong thing to say. Arquis withdrew his hand, his gaze hardening, his lips drawing into a tight line. Something about his walk in the rain had changed him. He shoved his gloved hands into his pockets and glared down at his damp shoes.

"I know you were," he muttered, the words stiff. "You always are. That's all I ever do. Make you worry."

Doctor Lavin stood and approached the couple. Hayli also got to her feet, but she stayed where she was. She didn't seem too eager to join this particular conversation. Her dark eyes flickered over the bard's face, then the nobleman's, her own features a mask of stony indifference.

"I don't mean to intrude," her father began, hesitated, and then continued. "But I'm glad that you're alright. After our earlier interaction, I was very concerned."

"Were you? Well, that was terribly kind of you." The nobleman was shaking, and not just from his cold clothes. He was angry. He had no right to be, but he was, and it bled into his every gesture. "I am so sorry to have inconvenienced you in such a way. It appears I have a talent for it. Now, if you will excuse me, I need some privacy. Please feel free to take your leave."

The doctor blanched as Arquis turned and stormed towards the bathroom. He'd been prepared for the young man to be sickly; frail; perhaps even apologetic. He hadn't expected him to be so rude. Lost, he looked at Rin, both brows raised.

——

Honey made a noise that was close to a purr. He loved it when people played with his hair, especially, as he was rapidly discovering, when it was Ari. He raised his hand and tapped the other man's wrist.

"Mm. Use your nails. Like this." He demonstrated, gently running his fingers through his own curls. His nails lightly brushed his scalp, and he let out a breathy sigh. After a moment, he paused and squinted at Ari. "You were saying something. Can't remember what it was, sorry. Man, that feels good. Damn. Can't think straight anymore."

(aah yes perfect!! Happy New Years, btw!!)

Arquis pulling away hurt, but the way the nobleman stomped away was worse, and Rin just watched him go, frozen in place and lost in what he could possibly due now. "I…" he looked over at the doctor, brows gathering faintly and the look in his eyes still a bit lost. "I am sorry, doctor, I…I don't know…" what had happened. What Arquis had just done. Or why? Why would the nobleman do this? Rinlos was just completely lost. Had they said something wrong? Done something wrong? They didn't know. They didn't think they had, but yet…Arquis was so upset, and they seemed to have made it worse.

His fingers clasped faintly, pressing into each other in a nervous gesture he didn't seem to even notice that they were doing, just needing to do something to let out his energy. "I'm sorry." they repeated, glancing over to the closed door to the bathroom, eyes tracing the outline of it for a long moment. What had happened? They knew this morning had been hard for Arquis, but this still was not something they would ever have expected of their lover. Not this outburst, not this anger. He didn't know what to do. Not when the nobleman seemed to want to be alone, and they didn't know what to do about it.

Ari hummed a little, dragging his nails lightly along Honey's scalp as he continued carding his fingers through Honey's curls. "Mm, it doesn't really matter what I was saying." he replied with a soft laugh, a smile pullinga t his mouth again as he continued to run his fingers through Honey's hair. He liked this, at least. This soft closeness and gentle affection that they were sharing. Sure, they had had some difficult things in the past few days– both Honey's and his own –but this was nice. This was soft and sweet and easy.

(happy new year! wait ok so do we want Arquis to have sent the letter while he was out by himself, like maybe he was inspired in the moment by the letters Rin had found the night before? or do we want to wait a little bit?)

The doctor glanced at the bathroom door, then back at Rin. His expression shifted when he saw the way their hands were clasped, going from confusion to determination. Something was clearly bothering Arquis, but until the nobleman was willing to be mature and express his feelings to his partner, he was no longer the doctor's primary concern. There was nothing he could do for the young man when he refused to talk to anyone. Rin, on the other hand, appeared to be in need of some comforting.

"Sometimes people lash out at the ones that care for them because they feel as if they don't deserve it," he said. His gaze briefly flicked to his daughter. She'd gone through a phase like that not too long ago, but she'd finally let him in. That had been a hard conversation for both of them. He swept it from his mind and went on. "Still, he should not have been so cold with you. He should be the one apologizing, not you."

The steady splash of running water began to come through the bathroom door. The sounds of clothes hitting the tile followed, and then a loud, frustrated huff of breath.

——

Honey flashed Ari a lazy grin and, after hesitating for just a moment, took his other hand. He placed it on his upper back, right in between his shoulder blades. If it were even possible, his posture seemed to grow more relaxed, his expression softer.

"Goodness," he whispered, a little embarrassed for some reason, and buried his face in Ari's hoodie. He hadn't had much experience in asking for the things he wanted. It was kind of silly. Feeling shy and a little ridiculous, he quietly added, "That’s perfect. Thanks."

(Sorry, was out of state without any internet access for a while!)
(as for the letters, I'm not really sure. Both could work and be interesting. Idk if having him write it while he was out makes sense, tho?)

Rin looked at the doctor as he spoke, nodding a little and glancing back towards the door. "Right. Of course. I…just wish I were better at helping him, I suppose. I don't really know, uhm, what to do." the admittance was quiet and slow, and he looked frustrated with themself. Shouldn't they know what to do? Shouldn't they be able to provide some measure of comfort to their partner? And yet, they had not been able to. And maybe that was not precisely his fault, but he still felt as if there were something he should have been able to do to help. Something he could have done.

Ari smiled, and began to rub Honey's back gently, still running his fingers through the blond's hair. This was relaxing for both of them, it seemed. This gentle cuddling. "You're welcome." his response was soft and gentle, and he gently pulled Honey a little bit closer, though his touch was still gentle enough that if Honey wanted to move away, it would be easy for him to od so.

(no worries! and yeah that's fair, maybe he could write it later that night when Rin's asleep and then sneak out to take it to the post? like, he acts kind of cold/dodgy all day, and then Rin worries that he's decided that they should break up after all, despite what he said the previous night? and so Rin confronts him the next day all upset, like where did you go last night, and Arquis refuses to explain, so it makes it really dramatic when it's finally revealed what he actually did? idk what do you think)

The doctor frowned and rubbed his forehead, nudging the bridge of his glasses with his knuckles. "Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is give them space. Whatever he's going through right now, in there—it's not your battle to fight. Or at least, that's what he's decided. And so just give him some room, and when he works through it, he'll come to you. Probably."

"I think he's just being dramatic," Hayli piped up, and her father cast her a disapproving look. She shrugged one shoulder. "What? I just said what we were all thinking. Well," her focus flickered briefly to Rin, "maybe not you."

"You shouldn't say that about anyone. Especially not when you have no clue what they're going through. It's rude," the doctor scolded.

"Whatever. It's not like he heard me. Now, can we go? He's back, and nothing's wrong with him, so there's no reason for you to stay."

Doctor Lavin looked over at Rin, sympathy shining in his brown eyes. "That's up to you. I do not mind, either way."

——

Honey tried to memorize this moment. Who knew how long it would last. Any second, someone could knock on the door, or something could go wrong. Maybe Myr would return, or maybe it'd be something else entirely. Something unpredictable. His life had been full of random events lately, things he never would've dreamed of a month ago.

"You know, Ari, I like you," he whispered, words muffled by the other man's hoodie. "I still can't believe this is happening. I keep expecting to go to sleep and wake up in my room, like this was all just a long, crazy dream."

(yeah that makes sense! Rin's like,, worried and a little panicky that Arquis decided to break it off after all, and Arquis isn't telling them the truth, and yess that shouold work really well actually!)

Rin shot Hayli a small, rather peeved look at her words about Arquis, though they quickly schooled their expression into something more neutral. He didn't want to offend Doctor Lavin by glaring at the man's teenage daughter. It would do none of them any good. He glanced between the doctor and the door, brows gathering together again as he tried ot think of what to do in this situation, what he could say. "I don't…if you would like to stay, then…" they ran a hand down their face, rubbing their temples and shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know." he finally said, shaking his head and fidgeting faintly again, feeling antsy about this. This was so out of the ordinary for Arquis; they didn't like it in the least.

"Mm, well, I like you too, and this isn't a dream. I promise." Ari responded. "It's real." the hoodie was so comfortable, and with Honey in his arms like this…oh, it was just so cozy, really. Cozy and comfortable and wonderful. It had been a while since he had been with anyone in any sort of romantic way, and many of his past partners hadn't been as kind and understanding about his body issues as Honey had been.

(yeah! and Arquis secretly feels really awful and conflicted because he doesn't wanna break up with Rin but he's convinced himself that what he's doing will be best for them, so he refuses to explain until they come to get him for the trial)

The doctor sighed and went to the door. He stepped out for just a moment and returned with Lovey. The blonde was wearing a pink feathered mask, but it didn't hide her obvious excitement at seeing Rin. She beamed and waved, even though she was only a feet away.

"The doctor here said you needed something?" she asked.

"Ah, yes, I was wondering if you could walk my daughter here to the front door. She knows the way back to our house from here, I just, well. These hallways can be a bit confusing."

"And you don't trust this place," she added, which made him blush. He tried to stammer out a protest, but she cut him off. "Oh, don't worry, I get it. We have a certain reputation, and she's young. I understand. I'll help her to the door."

Hayli left with Lovey, grumbling under her breath about not needing a babysitter. Her father tried not to worry too much once she was gone. He'd met Lovey before. The young woman was sweet and a little gullible, but she was also very dependable. She had a hidden strength to her that he wouldn't have predicted. He trusted her to take care of his daughter.

"Alright. Now that we're alone, I was wondering," the doctor lowered his voice, "if I could ask some questions. As a friend, not as a doctor. Well, perhaps as a little bit of both."

——

"That's exactly what dream Ari would say," Honey accused, squinting at him. He poked his cheek and hummed. "You sure feel real. But maybe that's a trick. Maybe I'm able to- what's that thing called? The thing where you- not dream walking, the other thing. The, uh, y'know. Dream manipulator. Active dreaming." He snapped his fingers victoriously. "Lucid dreaming! There we go. Maybe this is a lucid dream. Huh. I wonder if I can do anything I want. Like, uh, summon a horse!"

He sat silently for a moment, concentrating and wiggling his fingers as if he was trying to cast a spell. When nothing happened, he frowned. His hands dropped to his sides.

"Maybe I did that wrong. Horses are big. Might have to go smaller than that. Like pancakes. A whole stack of pancakes. Dream Ari, do you want some pancakes?"

(yes exactly! And by then it's kinda too late for Rin to do anything about it?)

Rin returned Lovey's quick wave, watching as Hayli left, leaving them alone with the doctor. "I…" he took a deep breath. "Sure." he finally replied. "You can ask, but…there are some questions that I can't really answer. For, ah, safety reasons. Sorry." he could not give too many things away, and he wasn't sure what the doctor was about to ask.

They cast another quick glance at the door, worry obvious in their gaze, before they looked over to the doctor again. These past few days had managed to be…so stressful. Between what had happened with Myr, and his illness, and everything that had happened with Arquis…it was stressful and exhausting and now, with Arquis's behavior today…oh, he didn't konw what he could do to help anymore.

Ari laughed a little bit, watching Honey's expression as the young man tried to summon a horse. Then that failed. And Honey offered pancakes. "Mm, well, if you can manage to make some appear, I would love some pancakes." he replied, pressing a soft kiss to Honey's temple in a soft, fond motion. This was so…easy. It was just easy, and he adored it. He adored that he could just lay in this bed with Honey and laugh and tell these easy jokes, and no one would hurt either of them here.

(yeah, so they watch Arquis be taken away all shocked and heartbroken, and then they decide to go to the trial even though they're still really upset?)

The doctor nodded. While he didn't fully understand what Rin and their partner were going through, that line about Muria trying to kill Arquis had given him a better idea. He sat back in his seat and absentmindedly rubbed at his bad knee. He furrowed his brow, but not from pain. In truth, he was unsure what to do in this situation. Normally, if he knew a patient had been mistreated by their family, he would encourage them to seek psychiatric and therapeutic help. He'd also offer to report their case to the authorities and go with them if they needed support. None of that would really work with Arquis, at least not in his current situation.

He shook his head and gave Rin a gentle smile. "Right. Well, my first question isn't about him. It's about you. I can't imagine how stressful this all must be for you, how heavily it must weigh on your shoulders. So, ah, how are you really doing?"

In the other room, Arquis turned the tap off and settled into the bath. He took a deep breath, then closed his eyes. He felt awful. It made him want to cry. But he couldn't, because he was also extremely angry, and the two canceled out. He was angry at almost everything. At the situation, at his mother, at the doctors and their pitying looks, at his ugly hands and horrible body, and, most of all, at himself. He wasn't angry at Rin, yet he'd been so cold with them. Of course, he knew it was for the right reasons—his walk had given him time to think, and he'd started to develop the beginnings of a plan—but it still made him feel terrible.

A voice began to come through the bathroom door. He could hear it better now that the water was off. It was the doctor, asking Rin how they were doing. He strained to hear his partner's response.

——

Honey wiggled around for several seconds, mumbling fake spells that he'd made up on the spot. He eagerly glanced around. Nothing had changed. There was no magical stack of pancakes sitting on a table, waiting to be eaten. He let his head thump back against Ari's chest with a groan.

"Aw, man. I mean, look, I'm very glad you're real and all. Very glad. But, like," his voice took on a slightly whiny quality, "pancakes!"

He took a moment to mourn the loss of his nonexistent pancakes. Sure, he was glad to have his actual power, which allowed him to prevent others from using their abilities. It certainly was useful. But summoning pancakes from thin air was just so much cooler. He wished he'd had a fear of pancakes growing up.

He sighed. "And, look, I know that we just ate. I know that. Lovey used to say that I thought with my stomach and not my head. Which is harsh, but also very true. Where was I going with this? Hm. I don't remember."

(yeah! and they're just, like,,, super anxious about the whole thing and worried that Arquis is going to die, and they still haven't been able to make up?)

Rin exhaled, still fidgeting with their hands. "I'm…I'm tired." they finally said in a soft tone, closing his eyes for a moment. "I love Arquis, I do, it's just….there is so much going on right now, it feels like, and it's exhausting. We have another friend who is going through some…some hard things," Honey, "and it brings up bad memories for me. And then, I…Arquis has been so opposed to accepting help about his eating habits that it's so…I love him, but it's a bit tiring to have to remember if he's eaten and how much, and then have to practically beg him to eat more than two bites of dry toast…" he trailed off, covering their face for a moment and just taking a few more breaths. "Plus, of course, everything that's happening with his family, and all of that…" they loved Arquis and they were willing to go through these things for him, but at the same time…oh, it was tiring.

He hated feeling this way; Arquis was not trying to be a burden, and he was not trying to frustrate Rin, but at the same time, it was tiring and frustrating. Especially when he had to track Arquis's food intake the way he did. Especially when if he asked Arquis if he had eaten, the nobleman would lie about it, or exaggerate the amount to make it seem like eh had eaten more than he had.

Ari laughed softly at Honey's seeming disappointment over the lack of pancakes. "Ah, too bad about those pancakes." he said, then cocked his head faintly. "Are you telling me you're hungry again?" he questioned, unsure what else Honey would be trying to communicate to him. What else would the blond be trying to say? All the talk about pancakes must have made Honey hungry again. Which, to tell the truth, was understandable; talking about food had a bit of a tendency to do that to anyone, really.

(yeah, and then of course Ari and Honey want to help Rin, but it's hard because they're not Arquis and they don't know how to make the situation better so they just support them through the trial as best they can)

Arquis didn't hear the entirety of what his partner had said, but he'd heard enough. His heart sank, and he did, too, inching down until he was fully submerged in the water. His eyes stung as he opened them and stared up at the blurry ceiling. Every movement, no matter how slight, sent ripples across the surface, obscuring the world above. He tried to stay as still as possible, but it was hard when he was so terribly upset.

He was a burden. They'd said as much, hadn't they? He'd worn them out with his family drama and bad habits. It was all too much. He was too much. They never should've started dating. Rin would be much happier and healthier without him. Every day, they woke up and gave him their all, and what did he offer in return? Love? His partner could find that elsewhere, with someone much better. Somebody that didn't exhaust them; somebody who didn't have so much tiring baggage.

His chest was starting to hurt. He realized that he'd been holding his breath for too long; spots danced in his vision. He pulled himself out of the water with a gasp, then took several shuddering breaths. As his vision regained clarity, so did his head. He knew what he had to do. It wouldn't be easy, but it was the best plan for everyone involved. Especially Rin.

In the bedroom, the doctor nodded at Rin. The expression he was wearing was one of empathy. He hadn't been in their exact situation, but he'd lived through some of what they had. Years ago, in what felt like another lifetime, he'd been in his position. Scared and stressed and so, so tired. Trying his best to help his lover that refused his assistance. It was a lot to deal with, and some days, it felt like the suffering would never end; that they'd be stuck in the dark days forever.

"Trust me, I understand what you're feeling. You may feel guilty for having these thoughts—it might seem like you're not supporting your partner unconditionally. But this is an incredibly difficult, strenuous situation, and you're doing the best you can. It's okay to admit that you're tired, or that you need some help. You don't have to be alone in dealing with it all."

——

Honey laughed and hid his face in Ari's stomach. The tips of his ears were red; he was blushing. "Nah. I mean, kinda? I'm pretty much always hungry. But it's okay, really. I'm all good. I'm too comfy to get up now, even for pancakes."

Visions of breakfast danced through his head, which was a little ridiculous, considering they'd literally just finished eating. Still, he couldn't help but dream of blueberry waffles, chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream smiley faces, and golden brown toast. He paused, glanced at the other man, and raised his brows.

"Okay, quiz time. Favorite breakfast item of all time. And you've gotta say the garnishes and side dishes, too."

(exactly! And then after the trial, Arquis and Rin go back to the Palace (idk what happens with Ari and Honey at that point; they tag along too, maybe, or?) and we get Rin's father visiting with Lysander in tow?)

Rin nodded a little, eyes moving to the bathroom door again, then back to the doctor. "I love him." he repeated. "It is only that…that it is so much." was that unfair? Arquis had always supported them, had listened to them and comforted them when they spoke of Lysander, had never brought up the secrets Rin kept…oh, but here Rinlos was, talking about their partner like this. They ran their hands through their hair, closing his grey eyes for a moment and shaking his head. "I'm tired. I'm not going to step away from him, but I am…I am so tired, at the same time. I just wish all the trouble and the drama would stop. Just for a bit. It…feels like I can't catch my breath, because there's always something happening. Either with him, or with…with a friend who's been struggling recently…" they couldn't say anything about Honey's problems, nothing specific, but that was part of this. Honey's troubles had dredged up old memories and pain, and it felt so selfish to bring up any of that around the blond. It wasn't Honey's fault that his troubles reminded Rin of things.

Ari laughed a little bit, cocking his head faintly at the question. "Hmm. Let me think about that for a moment." he replied, squinting a little bit as he tried to think of how to respond to Honey's question. "Favorite breakfast food…I don't really know, to be honest. Breakfast isn't something I really…devote a lot of time to thinking about, I guess." he didn't usually eat a big breakfast, didn't usually have a giant meal. Just some eggs, maybe, or a muffin. Something like that.

(wait so what if the trial happened at the Palace? and then Honey/Ari could stick around for a while after before eventually going back to the inn? maybe they could return when Arquis decides to hold some kind of formal event—like a ball or festival or something—which Rin's father and Lysander could also attend?)

"It's like drowning," the doctor murmured. The subject was hitting very close to home. "Just as you think you're going to break through to the surface, a new current comes in and pulls you down. I know the feeling. You want to rest so badly, but there's no end in sight, and sinking—letting them go—is so much worse than swimming. So you keep going for as long as you can. And it wears you out. You want them to be healthy so badly, but you can't force them into wanting help, or even just telling you the truth. It's such a hard situation to be in. It hurts. They're the one suffering, but in a way, you are, too."

In the bathroom, Arquis tuned out the other conversation and stared down at his hands. They always looked so strange underwater. If he squinted, he could pretend they weren't his at all; that those scars didn't belong to him. He imagined a life without them. All those nasty rumors wouldn't have been spread around, distancing his few remaining friends. There would've been no bets or games about who could take his gloves off. He might not be happy, exactly, but things would be different. He would have one less thing to feel insecure about.

——

"You don't know?" Honey mock wailed, as if it was the most tragic thing he'd ever heard. He rolled onto his back just so he could fling his arm over his eyes. It didn't really work. His forearm awkwardly slapped into his face, then flopped off, kind of like it was made of rubber. He made a disgruntled sound and looked back at Ari.

"That's okay. A lot of people don't really think about food that much. I just like to. Even though I can't really cook. I think I maybe want to learn, and not just cause I wanna someday cook for my neph- niece. Nephiece? Niecephew? My sister's kid."

(ooooh that could work really well!! I really like that!)

Rin's shoulders sank faintly, and he exhaled, looking up at the ceiling so that they didn't have to make eye contact. "Yeah." he said softly. "I thought we were making progress, with his food thing, and…and then we're not. And he won't…he won't see it and I know he's not trying to be this way, I know he's not trying to cause problems, but…" he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and just trying to think of how he could say this. He loved Arquis, and he wasn't going to walk away from him, but this was hard. "And then…" he trailed off, not sure what else they could even say at this point. And then what? What could he say that would explain anything that the doctor or himself had not already said?

Ari laughed a little bit, smiling over at Honey. "Nibling, I think, is the term a lot of people use for that." he replied, shrugging a shoulder. "And I think you should learn to cook, if you're interested in it. Why not?" he shifted a little, but didn't really move from his position, laying on his side with the hoodie snuggled around his body.

(yay! honestly I'm pretty excited I think there'll be a lot of interesting backstory stuff revealed)

"Well, he has made some progress, hasn't he? Even agreeing to see Elsie is a move in the right direction. He may still be struggling with accepting that he needs help, but he's starting to take steps that seem promising."

Doctor Lavin smiled over at Rin. He could tell they were still very distraught, and he wanted to reassure him. It was strange, how often that happened. He supposed that was partially the result of fatherhood.

"As long as he has a strong support system, I have faith that he can heal. It's not going to be an easy journey, nor a short one, but I really do have hope for you two. And speaking of you two, look, Rin, when I said that thing about the support system, I didn't mean just you. You may be in a relationship, but he's going to need other people to help him, too. Friends, family, that sort of thing. It'll take some of the weight off your shoulders. Trust me, trying to do it alone doesn't work." He cleared his throat and looked down. His glasses slid down his nose. He took them off and rubbed his eyes. Softly, he repeated, "It just doesn't work."

——

Honey hummed thoughtfully. "Yeah. I don't know about nibling. That sounds like a teething baby. Nibbling, y'know? Hm. I guess I'll see what Lovey and Pretty say about it."

He paused, trying to remember what else Ari had asked about. Something about babies? That didn't make sense. What had they been talking about? He snapped his fingers as he remembered and grinned.

"Cooking!" he said. "Right! Yeah, well, I've tried it before, and, uh, I'm not very good. I can make pancakes and some simple stuff. Anything else, and I kinda burn it. Or it's inedible. I have a tendency to get distracted. Which is annoying, 'cause I'm good at some stuff, like reading people. It's just so hard to stay focused sometimes."

(same! This should be exciting!)

"I know, it's just…his family isn't…" they trailed off, trying to think of how to say this. "His family is not very good or supportive towards him, and the friends we have are…he doesn't want to talk about it in front of them. I assume because he thinks it makes him look weak, or something of that nature." he closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. "I don't know. I know he can heal, I'm not saying that he won't make progress, it's just that…that the progress is very slow, and it's…exhausting, sometimes." it was just tiring. He loved his partner, he really did, but it was so…so tiring, especially when Arquis wouldn't tell them the truth about whether or not he had eaten that day.

Ari laughed softly when Honey seemed to lose his train of thought, smiling as the young man stammered until he regained it. "I get that. Do you not use timers, for the food? Or are those just not helpful?" he knew cooking could be difficult. He didn't do it very often, but, like Honey, could cook relatively simple things. He was also capable of following a recipe, if need be, though he did not do so very often.

(man Arquis is gonna be so cold for the next little while though poor Rin)

"Is it, now?" Arquis asked coolly. He was standing in the doorway to the bathroom in a bathrobe and some pajama pants that the cleaning service had washed for him. They'd been folded and left on the counter, which was fortunate considering he hadn't thought to bring any with him. His eyes flickered from the doctor, who looked startled, to his partner. "How very kind of you to talk about me while I was right in the other room."

"Nothing they said was meanspirited or offensive. He's just worried about you," the older man argued. He pushed his glasses up with his knuckles and stood. "Listen, whatever it is that you're going through, don't take it out on them. Don't lash out. You'll regret it."

Heat blossomed in the nobleman's cheeks. He felt absolutely vile, like he was the worst person alive, but he had to keep going. This was part of his plan, and he had to get through it, no matter how badly it made him feel. Guilt gnawed at his chest as he spat, "Why, doctor, that sounded like a threat."

"What? I would never threaten a patient!"

"Mm. Right." Arquis was trying to feign indifference. He hoped it was working. In the background, he heard the water draining from the bath, and he wished he'd stayed in just a bit longer. This was miserable.

——

Honey sighed, a little embarrassed. "I mean, one time, yeah. I set the timer up, and then I went into the other room to grab something. It was this gorgeous ribbon that I wanted to tie around my neck—I'd taken it off while I was cooking, cause I didn't want it to dip into the batter or anything. But when I went to grab it, I saw that Divinity was there, and I thought I'd talk to her. So I did. And then Pretty came in with this guy that'd been asking around for me. I didn't really wanna talk to him, but, y'know, he had this earring on, and I could tell he was rich. He was dressed plainly enough, beige pants, loose shirt, clearly wanting to blend in. That earring was his only mistake. It was real gold, had this emblem and everything. He wanted me to go with him right then and there, but I turned him down, 'cause I was cooking. And he asked me, 'Is that why there's smoke coming out of the kitchen?' By the time I got back in there, well, those muffins were burnt rocks. Turns out that I'd set the timer wrong."

(aw man)

Rin's lips parted when they heard Arquis's voice, turning to him. "I'm sorry, love, if I hurt you." they said softly. "I love you. You are not a burden, darling." he wasn't sure why Arquis was behaving like this. "I…" he trailed off, inhaling softly and standing, taking a few steps over to the nobleman. "How are you feeling?" Arquis had been so stressed earlier, and they wanted to see if, maybe, he was feeling better now. By his behavior, Rin didn't think so, but…maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe Arquis thought that Rin had been saying mean or terrible things about him.

Ari started to laugh again at Honey's story, shaking his head a little bit. "Oh, Honey, no wonder you're saying that you're bad at cooking!" he replied, doing his best to squash the smile tugging at his lips, but rather unable to. "You set the timer wrong, and you missed it." he thought for a moment, cocking his head. "I know what we can do. Not today, but at some point. We can try cooking something together. See how well we do with our abilities combined."