"Yeah, no problem… I'm just used to all of the days blending together and not knowing what time it is or what I'm supposed to be doing or whatever… it's still hard for me to figure that kind of thing out sometimes." Lucas sighed softly to himself.
"Well, I guess we should try to start fixing that, shouldn't we?" Melissa asked softly, running her fingers through his hair. "We could set up a schedule, or routine of some sort… maybe that could help?"
"Mm… I guess so. It'll probably get a little easier with school being as structured as it is. It's really nothing to worry about." Lucas closed his eyes and relaxed a bit when Melissa touched his hair.
"Well, too late, I am." Melissa laughed weakly, not sounding actually amused. As she laughed, the thick worry in her tone showed in her eyes before she buried her face in his shoulder. "But you're probably right, so I just need to relax."
"Mm… sorry for worrying you." Lucas sighed softly and rested his head against Melissa's. "But like I said, it's really not that big a deal, and it'll probably get better once I'm back at school."
"Probably…" Melissa mumbled, letting out a weak sigh as she nuzzled up closer. Pushing those thoughts aside, she tried to empty her thoughts for a few minutes, deciding she didn't want to have to worry about it right then.
"Mm… we should probably eat something soon." Lucas said softly after a while. "Anything you'd like to have, Mel?"
"No, not really…" Melissa mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. "But I'm guessing I don't really have an option, now do I?"
"Nope. That's why I'm asking if you've got a preference on what we eat." Lucas stretched and reluctantly got to his feet.
With a soft sigh, Melissa drew her knees to her chest and looked up at him. "I don't want to, though…" Her whisper was muffled by her pressing her face into her knees in defiance.
Lucas sighed softly. "I know you don't want to, Mel, but you have to. It's not healthy to skip meals. And that's coming from me."
"But…" Melissa's argument fell short, shoulders slumping as she sunk lower into the couch. Instead, she mumbled something about hating that he was right, picking at her jeans for a couple of seconds before quietly starting to get up.
Lucas took Melissa's hand in his own and led her over to the kitchen, humming softly to himself. Considering he wasn't much of a cook, he figured he'd just make sandwiches again. He opened the drawer to find a small knife for the peanut butter and faltered upon seeing the large knife that had sent him to the hospital.
Melissa had been standing there, fidgeting with herself. It took her a moment or two to catch what he was looking at, and her shoulders dropped some. "Hey, you okay?" She asked softly, reaching up and playing with his hair in an attempt to get him out of whatever trance he was in. "I can make food if you aren't up for it…"
Lucas shook his head a little to clear his thoughts and hesitated before pulling a much smaller knife out of the drawer, quickly closing it after doing so. "I-I'm fine. Don't worry about it." He said quietly as he began making the sandwiches. His hands were trembling lightly, and his vision was a bit unfocused.
Not buying it, Melissa quietly wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, loosely holding onto one of his arms. "Honey, you don't need to push yourself. I know you want to be okay, but recovery can't be brought by willing yourself to be okay. That's not how that works. So please, just don't push yourself. I'm here for you, and I'm willing to do what you just can't."
Lucas closed his eyes and exhaled shakily, looking pretty tense. "B-But I'm fine, Mel. Fine enough to make something as simple as a sandwich. I should be able to do something that's just… so easy." He dropped the knife on the counter and ran his fingers through his hair.
"But clearly," Melissa whispered, pulling him back and turning him to look at her. "You're not able to. And that's okay. I know it's painful to watch, but sometimes you just have to sit back and watch. Which totally sucks, I know." She whispered, taking both his hands in hers before kissing his cheek. "C'mon, let me do it."
Lucas looked down at Melissa weakly, his grip loose. He considered for a few seconds, obviously conflicted and frustrated with himself, and eventually resigned to his defeat. "I… alright…" He said softly, reluctantly moving out of the way.
Melissa gave him a weak smile, reaching over to give his hand a gentle squeeze. "Why don't you go find Cody? He needs fed too," She hummed softly, picking up where he had left off. "Then you're still helping."
"Alright… thanks, Mel…" Lucas said softly, heading out to whistle for Cody. He poured some food into his bowl as the puppy came running into the kitchen.
Melissa hummed a bit in response, finishing up what he was working on before letting out a soft sigh and bringing it over to him. "Here you are, love…" Handing him his own plate, she set hers down on the table before reaching down to pet the excited puppy.
"Thank you, Mel…" Lucas replied softly, finishing feeding Cody before he sat down to eat. "I was really hoping that I would be doing better by now, you know? But I guess it'll take a really long time to fix all those years of consistently getting worse…"
"Yeah, I get it." She nodded a little, fidgeting with her hands as she watched him sit down. "But yeah, it's gonna take more time than either of us want to get better. Which totally sucks in my opinion." She mumbled, letting out a half-hearted laugh.
"Mm…" Lucas ate quietly, still a little out of it. "I just… I felt like I was doing better, you know? After coming out of the hospital, and I… I can't even handle seeing a stupid knife…"