forum O/O with @Caustic-Fraust-is-The-Pokemon-Champion

Started April 14, 2020 by @MusicElle-is-here

tune

Cas nodded weakly, clearly already uneasy as he looked at the short words. He couldn't understand them already, which was pretty discouraging.

Nick nodded, trying to look encouraging and cheerful. “Okay, I’ll read the word first then, and you can just copy me.” He pointed to the first word. “The.”

Cas sighed and nodded, hesitating before repeating after Nick. He felt ridiculous, but he figured that was just part of the process.

Nick continued down the list before starting up again and going three times. He tried his best not to make Cas feel dumb.

Cas was a bit frustrated with himself by now. He could repeat after Nick just fine, but his brain wasn't making the connection to the words and the indecipherable scribbles on the page.

“Do you want to take a break?” Nick asked, noticing Cas was getting upset.

Cas nodded, fidgeting nervously. "I-I just… um… I don't know if this is helping…" He sighed. "I can hear you, and I can say what you're saying, but I just… I still can't see how these mean what we're saying…"

“Hmm…okay,” Nick said, already trying to think of something new. “Do you think having pictures or something would help? I mean, I can’t draw for shit, but we could try…”

"I have no idea, honestly…" Cas ran his fingers through his hair and looked away. "Should… should I tell my teachers about this?" He asked weakly.

“If you feel comfortable telling them,” Nick responded. “Don’t tell them if you don’t feel up to it.”

"I-I dunno… I'm worried that they'll like, send me to kindergarten or something, and that would be humiliating…"

“I’m sure they won’t do that,” Nick responded. “I think they’d probably tutor you after school or have another teacher take you to their room and tutor you during class.”

"B-But there's just so much I don't know…" Cas sighed, tapping one for anxiously on the floor. "I'm so stupid…"

“You’re not stupid,” Nick responded. “You just haven’t had anyone to teach you this stuff, and it’s easier to learn when you’re a little kid anyway.”

"I guess so, but still… I'm fifteen and I'm not even fucking literate…" Cas sighed.

“Hey, we’ll find a way to teach you to read,” Nick said, trying to reassure him. “I promise.”

Cas rested his head on Nick's shoulder and huffed a bit. "I just feel so stupid. Why is it so frustrating?! Why is reading so hard?!"

“When I was first learning to read, I got frustrated too,” Nick sighed, suddenly very aware that Cas’s head was on his shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.”

Cas sighed, closing his eyes and keeping his head where it was. "I can't do it… I'm too dumb…"

“You’re not dumb!” Nick exclaimed. “You just haven’t had the same opportunities as the other kids our age! That doesn’t make you dumb.”

Cas flinched when Nick yelled, starting to tremble lightly. "I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry…" He whispered hurriedly. "I just… feel like it's all my fault…"

Nick sighed, trying to calm himself down. Why was he getting so worked up, anyway? “It’s not your fault,” he said in a softer voice. “And you don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that I raised my voice like that, I just don’t think that you’re stupid.”

Cas nodded weakly, trying to force himself to calm down. "But… how exactly am I not? Like, if you were to compare me with anyone else my age…"

“Not being able to read doesn’t make you stupid,” Nick said. “You didn’t even have a chance to learn how. Comparing yourself to others isn’t healthy and it’s going to change that. Besides, if you were stupid then you wouldn’t have wanted to hang out with me,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Cas sighed, shifting a little closer to Nick. "I guess, but I just… I don't know what I'm doing. I really wanna do this, but it's really discouraging because I can't even read those simple words. They just look like gibberish to me."