Sterling’s POV:
“Well, in that case…” I trailed off and pressed my lips to hers.
Carefully, so as to not interrupt the kiss, I stood up from the couch. My books and things fell off my lap, but in that moment I didn’t care. I was too focused on the woman before me.
I moved around the couch and over to Eden, our lips still connected, and rested my hands on her waist. Eyes shut, I pushed her back until she hit a wall, making sure to do it gently and not hurt her.
Eden’s POV:
I loved it when he was like this, when we shared moments like these. When I knew he wanted nothing more than to devour me, but was still being gentle.
Sterling carefully moved around the couch and over to me, our lips still connected. I felt like my heart would jump out, especially when he rested his hands on my waist and pushed me back.
When I felt my back touch the cool wall, I wrapped my arms around Sterling’s neck, pressing our lips tighter. I tangled my legs in his, pulling him closer despite there already being no space between us.
“Sterling…” I whispered between our kiss, heat pooling in the pit of my stomach.
Sterling’s POV:
I don’t think I could ever get enough of this. I wanted to just be here and kiss her like this forever. She really was my everything…
When she murmured my name against my lips, I felt more than heard the soft growl come from my throat. At this point, blood was rushing through me in a heated frenzy, pounding in my ears and dulling my hearing.
There was no room between us anymore, and I was glad for it. I wanted her to feel this, how she made me feel. I wanted her to feel the same way.
Eden's POV:
The harder he kissed me, the more my blood boiled in my body. It felt like someone had doused me on gasoline and set me on fire. It burned but it felt good. It was a foreign feeling but it felt amazing. My grip on reality burned away with my sanity–the feeling of his lips pressed against mine, his body against mine snipped away every conscious thought until the only thing I was conscious of was him, until the only thing my hazy mind could conjure was his name.
I barely heard the growl, but it was enough to make my heart hammer wildly in my chest. He pressed harder against me, and I felt the desperation, the passion, the heat course through me. It was enough to send me on a frenzy. I untangled my legs from his and instead, pushed myself up to wrap my legs around his waist.
I didn't know what he was doing to me, but whatever it was, I didn't hate it. I didn't object to it. I welcomed it despite the hot consequences. I only wished the kiss numbed the invisible scars buried inside the back of my mind.
Sterling’s POV:
That was my breaking point, when she wrapped her legs around my waist. Along with the last of the space between us, most of my self control went down the drain.
My lips broke away from hers, and I trailed gentle kisses down her jaw. I reached the spot just between her jaw and her neck, my lips lingering there for a moment. If she wanted me to stop, this was where I would stop. I didn’t want to do anything she wasn’t ready for.
Eden's POV:
My eyes squeezed shut at Sterling's actions, my lips parting to let out a sound of pleasure. I thought I could take it, handle it, control it, but it was when he trailed kisses down my jaw that I realized I was wrong. The chains around my legs keeping me down tightened their hold.
His kisses were soft and gentle, careful and loving, but it didn't stop anything from crashing down at me hard.
Clammy hands grabbing at my wrists.
Rough, forceful kisses down my neck.
Sickly sweet, harsh words whispering in my ears.
Give it up.
Enjoy it.
You want it.
And then came the panic.
My eyes snapped open, my hands pushing against hard shoulders. I untangled my legs and set them on the floor just as I managed to push him away right before my knees gave out. I collapsed on the floor, my breathing heavy, my mind hazy. I slapped a hand over my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut to gather my bearings, finding myself trapped in what I knew wasn't real. I felt like throwing up. The spots on my neck burned–it made me want to tear the skin off.
And then I came back to reality.
"Shit," I cursed, my eyes wide in panic. "I–I'm sorry… I didn't–I mean, I don't… I'm so sorry, Sterling…"
I could only hope he thought it was because I wasn't ready. I only hoped he wouldn't ask me for the truth because I didn't think I could give it to him.
(Oh shit, poor Eden..)
(;-; I just noticed a runoff sentence. Imma fix it.)
(I wondered if that was the reason… Poor E…)
Sterling’s POV:
She pushed me away forcefully, and my eyes shot open as I watched her literally crumble in front of me. I knew she wasn’t ready, but I hadn’t thought she would react this harshly. Unless…
Shoot. If this is because of something he did, I’m going to kill him.
“Eden, babe… Hey, it’s okay… Don’t worry about it. Do you need some time to calm down? I can go away if you just need some time alone,” I assured her softly, keeping a bit of distance between us in case she didn’t want to be near me for a while.
Eden’s POV:
At his words, I shot my head up, locking eyes with him.
Don’t leave. Please don’t leave me alone.
“No,” I exhaled harshly, looking at him pleadingly. “Please. It’s nothing. I just panicked. I’m fine. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, trying to dispel the unwanted thoughts from my head. I couldn’t do this to myself—not again. Not after I thought I was all right. I couldn’t let this slip away again. I didn’t want Sterling to see me any lesser than I already was. I knew I should tell him the truth but I just couldn’t. It was my fault.
The way he addressed me softly only made me hate myself even more. Why? Why couldn’t I just scatter the pieces and live in the present rather than the past? Why was it so easy to kiss Sterling, but the second he took it a step further, I drowned in the past?
Why?
(;-;)
(sobs)
(sobs)
(sobs with you)
Sterling’s POV:
I nodded slowly and took a step closer to her. Sitting down across from her, I pulled one leg up to my chest and let the other fold at my side.
“I don’t know what happened, but I want you to know that it’s okay. I’m good, we’re good. I just want you to be okay,” I said, my voice still soft as I reach my hand out to take hers. “I love you, and I just want to make you happy. Even if that means we have to stop something. Okay?”
Eden’s POV:
I wanted to cry—his soothing voice increasing the guilt I was feeling. How could anyone be so understanding? So careful, so caring?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered against, hugging my knees to my chest with one arm while the other was in Sterling’s warm hold. “I don’t know what happened. I guess I’m not ready for the next step yet, after all…”
Sterling’s POV:
I lifted her hand to my lips and brushed a barely-there kiss to be back of it before giving it a gentle squeeze. “That’s okay, babe. I can wait. I’m more than willing to. Just please, let me know if I ever go to far, all right?”
Eden’s POV:
I nodded numbly, giving him a soft smile before squeezing his hand back. I leaned against him, my eyes closing as I rested my head against him.
It wasn't fair. It really wasn’t. I wanted this, he wanted this, so why couldn’t I let us have it?
“It’s almost seven,” I finally forced out.
Sterling’s POV:
I wrapped my other arm around her shoulders and rubbed her back gently. “Are you sure you want to go still? Do you think you’re up for it?”
Eden’s POV:
I nodded slowly, feeling grateful for Sterling’s presence.
“We already gave her our word,” I replied quietly. “It wouldn’t be okay to cancel at the last minute…”
Sterling’s POV:
“Well… Okay. If you’re sure,” I murmured, kissing her temple. “I should probably clean my books up off the floor, huh?”
Eden’s POV:
I nodded slowly as Sterling stood up while I still remained on the floor.
I ran my fingers through my wet hair, frustrated with myself. I didn’t want to ruin anything between us. Everything was running smoothly. We were going smoothly, and then I messed everything up.
I finally stood up and walked into our room, opening my closet and trying to find something that I could wear to a party.
I'd decided to dress causally for the party, after all, I'd been told that it would be 'chill'. Still, I'd selected something pretty but simple, a black spaghetti-strap top fashioned out of smooth, satin-like fabric tucked neatly into high-waisted black trousers cuffed at the ankle. A simple pair of bendable flats, a flower pendant, and some glossy pink lip gloss topped the outfit off. Obviously I knew to be careful with what I wore to parties, who knew what could happen? But Lillian was not one to talk to sexual predators, I'd learned that quickly, and she'd assured me that it was safe to dress up. Twisted, how girls have to consider this… I thought, heading out the door.
(Lol. She changed and now she’s changing again. XD)
Sterling’s POV:
I cleaned everything up and put it away behore heading into the bedroom. The last time I had been to a party was probably before Eden and I were dating, but that was fine with me. Parties in high school were full of drunk teenagers, unless it was supervised, anyway.
“Babe, what should I wear? I don’t feel like searching for anything,” I sighed dramatically, plopping down onto the bed.
(what can I say? the girl loves her clothes)
(Oh… I was talking about Eden. Lol. I didn’t see your post. Whoops.)