Yes, she was tempted to close the door. More than tempted actually. She should have done so the moment she realized it was him on the other side. But why didn't she? Who knows? Clearly she doesn't.
Emese kept her chin titled down. He is the last person she wants to see at this moment, but she doesn't want to hurt his fingers by slamming the door shut. As he moved closer, she took a step back. Her body became rigid.
Apologize? Why? No, this is some sort of joke clearly. She bit down on her bottom lip. No, there is no point in saying anything that will only lead to more yelling from him and a deeper sense of loneliness in her.
"Right….." She sighed. "If an apology means wasting your breath and my time, then you have successfully done it. Sincerity and feeling would make it better, but I suppose I was in the wrong for wanting those things, or anything with you in that matter. Oh well….Thank you."
And with that, she turned away. Dragging her feet, she went and sat on her bed. Her shoulders went back to slumping as she looked down at the floor. Isamu was happily spinning in circles before running to jump onto the bed beside her. She didn't bother to pet the dog.
He was tempted to get frustrated again, but he knew that wouldn't help the situation at all. He sighed, running a hand through his hair in thought.
How could he make this better?
Why should he genuinely apologize? He wasn't entirely in the wrong, he deserved an apology too.
Hm, maybe he could joke like she did.
He leaned against the wall of the door frame, looking at her.
"How about you apologize and then I will give my best attempt at being genuine in apologizing." He was half joking, he did want an apology but he also figured just blatantly asking for one was a bad idea.
Even he could see that.
He looked at the dog, he watched it run around all cute and the Like.
"What's his name?"
She lightly pulled at her skirts. Her brow quirked at his words. What is he trying to do? If this was his attempt at a joke or an apology, he needs to work on both skills. The apology one is probably more important, yet she knows better than to focus on such at this moment.
Emese decided to look up at him. She did her best to blink away the tears. "If you are trying to make me feel better through jokes while getting an apology from me, it's not going work," She muttered. "Did I hurt your feelings? Were you crying alone all night?"
It's true. Her mood isn't going to bounce back to what it was yesterday all because of some amusement or an apology. And she can somewhat confidentially assume that he didn't have his feelings crushed or was crying alone.
Her eyes flickered to the dog. Right, he has been so distant that he doesn't know the dog. "Isamu," She replied. The dog's ears perked up at his name. He lifted his head up, looking up at her. Emese gave a simple smile as she scratched the top of his head. "He was a personal wedding gift. My father told me that his breed are great at looking after people and children. He's very loyal and….fluffy."
(Harutas never had a dog before ehehe)
He grumbled something under his breath about how he felt hurt or something of the Like. He looked at the fluffy dog and his gaze melted a little bit.
He had always wanted a pet as a child, but his father had told him to focus on his studies and that pets were too much work. When he finally convinced his father that he could take care of one the dog died not soon after.
He wasn't even allowed to mourn it.
He quickly cleared his throat and looked away towards her, then back at the dog.
"Can I pet him?" He spoke, wanting to feel the fluffy furr.
Though she had every right to turn him down.
He had his arms crossed like usual.
Emese continued to scratch the top of Isamu's head. The dog panted in content while wagging his tail. She glimpsed down at him for a moment before deciding to return her gaze at Haruta.
She could have sworn she heard him say something, but she didn't pick up on it and she is not in the mood to really ask. It didn't matter anyways. Something about the look in his eyes made her curious. It looks different, it looks softer than normal.
A long time ago, she remembered her father saying something about Haruta, just a prince at the time, asking the king for a dog before a meeting. She remembered feeling bad for Haruta since she had a few pets at the time.
"Sure," She replied. Motioning for him to come over, she moved down a bit. Isamu did the same thing, sitting right down beside her. She probably could have refused, she probably should have, but Isamu needs to know Haruta at some point. Better late than never.
"You should probably offer your hand so he knows your smell first," Emese said. "I don't want him to mistaken you for an intruder or something."
He nodded, moving to crouch down as he set his eyes on the doggo. He held out his hand gently, waiting for the pup to come over and sniff his hand.
He definitely seemed almost like a different person as he looked at isamu.
Em wished she could get haruta to stare at her in this way (lol)
"It was a very nice gift of them, tho i can't imagine they spared any expense for there family."
He hadn't really looked into the family much so he didn't know what the dynamic was like, but he figured it wasn't much like his.
Which already said something on its own.
She watched as the dog hopped off the bed. At first Isamu did not go to Haruta, rather the dog went back to going in circles to chase his tail. When giving up, he slowly approached Haruta. Emese curiously kept her eye on the dog as it sniffed Haruta's hand. He poked at it with his nose then began to lick it.
Some relief came to her. She knows Isamu is a good dog, but sometimes dogs can be a bit rough around the edges when it comes to new people. Her attention floated from the dog to her husband. A sense of curiosity came about from seeing the gleam in his eyes. "No not really," She said. "My father was just worried that something would happen to me when no one's here. Somehow he thought getting Isamu would solve that."
When she asked her father and brothers about him and his life, they said to nothing. And when she said that she would ask him, they advised her stay away from such topics. She always wondered. It probably has to do with the way he always carries himself or the fact that their relationship is barely nonexistent or how he has no clue what affection is.
Emese wasn't sure if she should be feeling empathy or some sort of pity for him; better yet, whether it is worth feeling something for him. "Poor thing," She whispered to herself. She wasn't sure. She didn't want to really want him in her presence, but she also hates the loneliness. She hates a lot of things right now.
He let isamu lick his hand, moving to sit with the dog. He moved to pet isamu with his other hand as his first hand was getting licked.
He also knew all the sweet spots to scratch on a dog, because had one before. Well, not for long, but he was bonded pretty closely for the short amount of time they had together.
"Hm, well I can't imagine it would be that bad to have this protect you. Like you said, he is loyal. Loyalty is a good quality.'
The edge of his lips tilted upwards a little bit, in a little half smile at the dog infront of him. He was totally focused on the dog and his thoughts that he didn't hear when she muttered poor thing.
Isamu's tail wagged with glee from all the pets he was receiving. Having the attention of two people must have gotten him really excited. The dog laid down on his side against the floor. His panting was light as his tail kept wagging on.
Emese lightly smiled at the sight of the dog. And yet as Haruta began to speak, she adjusted her focus onto him and the grin dimmed a little. For a minute or so, she thought about his words then nodded. "No I suppose it wouldn't, but he said I shouldn't worry given that I have more just the dog to protect me," She sighed.
Loyalty is taxing. It's consistency. It's constantly trying to start a conversation expecting it to go somewhere and end up fighting. She took another deep breath, nodding again at his words. "It is a critical quality in every situation."
Is he smiling? Like actually smiling? Emese's pupils widened. She had no idea he was capable of such a thing amongst others too. Interesting. She blinked then shook her head. The sinking feeling in her chest was still there.
He continued to pet him, and even as he lay down he decided to give him all the belly rubs that this amazing dog deserved. He was very much enjoying the time petting the dog.
He would never admit how much he was enjoying it though.
You could only tell from the small smile on his face.
"Right because you have the guards to protect you now." He nodded not looking up away from isamu.
He continued to pet, "it is indeed." He spoke, seemingly more focused on the dog.
He sighed softly though, feeling as if this moment wouldn't last.
Tilting her head slightly to the right, she kept on watching from the bedside. He is completely focused on Isamu. At least Haruta is somewhat, and somehow, happy. Technically Isamu is also his because they're married. She bit the inside of her bottom lip. It's not out of jealousy or anger or anything like that, but out of ponder and curiosity.
"Yes," She agreed. "But I believe I have more than the guards and Isamu to protect me. One more on top of guards, Isamu, a father, and a long line of brothers. But I think I can protect them too."
The dog kept happily squirming around as it was receiving pets. Emese took a little blue scarf from the end table and used it to put her hair up like a ponytail. She noticed that there was a jade green one underneath it. Taking it into her hands, she stood up and made her way over behind Haruta.
"I'm going to put your hair up so it doesn't get in the way while you play with Isamu," She said, already tucking the scarf underneath his hair. She made the scarf into a headband, keeping his bangs out from his vision. Emese tried to tuck the ends in by making a neat bow. "There we go. Perfect. I can take it out when you want. Sometimes Isamu likes having one on too."
(Okay now that I'm back home I can finally respond lol)
(Lol okay! Welcome back!)
"Hm? Oh- I suppose I will protect you as well. You are my wife after all."
He spoke, continuing to pet isamu as she put his hair up, not paying all that much attention.
"Is there another one for isamu? He would probably be quite dashing with one on." He spoke firmly, however he seemed more relaxed then he had in the library. He just moved to glance in a mirror to see what she did, before moving back to petting isamu.
Man's likes his dogs okay.
"You did a good job putting my hair up.' He spoke, looking up at her.
"You suppose?" She repeated in a light matter. Emese patted Haruta's head then went back to the bed. "You should know, it's part of what you promised when we married. It's alright. I can protect myself too, but sometimes it is hard to protect yourself, you know?"
She stood by the side of the table. Her fingers lightly breezed across the other head scarves before picking up a light yellow one, Isamu's favorite color. Turning to Haruta and the dog, she held it up.
Clicking her tongue, she patted her thighs to summon the dog. "Does someone want to wear their favorite head scarf?" She asked as Isamu rushed over. Carefully Emese sat down and tied it almost the same way she did with herself and Haruta. She laughed as the dog wagged his tail with glee.
Her eyes glimpsed over to Haruta. The gleam on her face slightly dimmed as she gave a nod. "Thank you," was all that she could say at first. "I thought it would be useful for you, although your hair is already fine as it is."
He watched as isamu made his way over to her and how happy he was when he finally had it on.
He moved to stand up and brush himself off from sitting down. He moved to look directly at her, watching as she spoke.
"Yes, it is hard to protect oneself. I can protect you when the need arises."
He spoke, not clear if he was attempting another joke or if he was being serious again.
He looked around the room observing the surrounding room.
so this is what her room looks like then, I had forgotten a bit.
He turned back to her.
"Your welcome."
Emese was not sure how to react to any of this. There is not a single book or word from those she looks up to to give her any direction or wisdom. She did her best to stay away from focusing on the oddities by petting the dog.
Haruta's words invoked some state of question in her mind. Clearly better than the strange feeling floating around in the air. Is he just saying these things because they are legally bounded to each other? Is it because her agreeing to the marriage had given him the crown? A sudden question escaped her lips.
"Would you?"
A flash of heat pressed against her face at the realization of her question. Her hands frozen then removed from Isamu. She stood up from the bed. Isamu walked off, happily going around the room and examining things via sniffing everything.
"Even if there is no dire need to do so, would you protect me?" She asked. Though thoroughly determined about what kind of answer she'd be given, there was a small drop of hope that it wouldn't turn out to be what she expects.
Her left hand squeezed her right as she gazed back at the king. Emese kept her chin tilted up despite the urge to have it titled to look away.
He walked over to her, staring at her from his tall stance.
He took a deep breath, and exhaled as he stared at her, observing her body language and the like.
"You are my Queen, I shall protect you the moment I notice the threat on your life." He spoke, putting a hand on her shoulder, before moving it as soon as he finished speaking since he figured that seemed about right.
He went to see what isamu was doing when he finished speaking with her, deciding that he might want to pet him more.
He missed having a dog a lot.
As he walked over to her, Emese turned her head to gaze at the bed and wall. Yes, she had to give into the urge of not wanting to look at him. She just had to at that moment. Besides, she didn't know what to feel listening to his words. Looking at him while listening would make it worse.
Yet he placed a hand on her shoulder. Emese could feel her heart making a tremendous thump; a rather foolish one at best. In an instant, she placed her fist above it, wishing for it to go away. Tears formed in her eyes at the shame and self-disappointment.
Isamu stopped sniffing around the vanity table. Making a rather slow turn, he went over to Emese with his tail wagging side to side. She squatted while reaching out to pet him. Only a few moments passed by as she petted the dog before standing up. Still, Isamu stood there, happily waiting as per usual.
"Your queen…." is all that she could manage to say. Her voice was quiet yet restrained in order to hide any signs of sadness or frustration. While she does not wish for another fight or a moment where she is crying in front of him, more words built up inside of her. "As king, you should be sensing dangers first-hand. You'd be more successful in saving yourself and whatever else you find……vital."
He frowned as he noticed the tears gathering in her eyelids, what had he said this time to make her cry? He thought what he said was rather a good thing to try and comfort her but he seems to have just maken it worse again.
Women can be so fragile at times it erks him.
Though he's never said the thought outlook lest he be whooped by his nanny for saying such a thing. He lets out a soft sigh as he watches isamu go over and comfort her, too which she barely seems like she can get out the words she speaks.
"I'm afraid that my danger sensing abilities aren't the greatest, but the moment i notice danger I'm better at acting upon it and making sure no harm befalls the people I protect."
He spoke, glancing over at her with a neutral but determined look.
"I do not need your protection." The words rushed out of her suddenly. They ran off her tongue as if they have been waiting a whole lifetime to be said. A shiver ran through her heart. Using the side of her left hand, she wiped the tears away, hoping they would not appear again.
Removing the head scarf, she let it fall onto the floor. Emese walked over to the king with her chin up high despite her slow, almost sluggish, movements. She sighed. "I understand what you are trying to do, but save your efforts for something you truly care about."
Her hands came up to his chest. Delicately, her fingers went up to adjust the buttons on his coat. She spoke while doing so. "Do not let my tears speak for me for I am a force to be reckoned with. The only true danger I need to be protected from is myself. You would understand this if you took a moment or two to step outside your personal fortitude."
Once she was finished adjusting and fixing, she took a step back. "I have no intentions of being rude or cruel to you….it is just the truth." She clenched her skirts and turned around to see a servant with the dog leash. "Ah…I forgot about his walk today…"
(I'm alive again bsbdbsbsbsb)
