He stood by kept holding her. “Let’s get some rest back at the castle. Then we can talk to Thor. We can take this with us for later.” He suggested, pressing a kiss to her head and gently pulled back to sit back in the chair across from her. He ate a few more bites in silence, though the cake was less enjoyable now, soon stopping altogether and waiting patiently for the waiter to come back. He had laced his hand back Avalin’s, seemingly always needing to be near her, holding her in some way.
"That sounds good to me," She murmured out, not letting go of his hand. Avalin seemed to enjoy and need the contact with him as much as he did, and even as the waiter came back, she pulled her hand away from Loki's extremely reluctantly to put the remaining cake into a container. As long as she was by his side for now, she would let him decide everything, and if he wanted to go rest, she was up for it without hesitation.
Loki nodded in thanks to the waiter as he helped Avalin the remains of the dessert. He looked around, wanting to remember the place before they last in case they decided to come back.
He offered his hand to her as he readied to go back to their room at the castle, praying that they’d be able to see Leif and his Mother once more before they went to Midgard
Avalin took his hand quickly, getting to her feet as she glanced around. As a second thought, she pulled her hood back up and stepped to Loki's side, almost forgetting that she was known in the city. The last thing she wanted was to be recognized and talked to, especially about Leif. Just the thought of their son was enough to make her almost cry, but having someone else speak about him was going to leave her in tears.
Loki wrapped a secure arm around her waist and pulled his hood up, concealing most of his features from others brow. He guided Avalin through the city back towards the castle, glad that no one had decided to stop and speak to them, though more than once he caught a few stares and some whispers about them and Leif. He tried his best to block them out, knowing most just wanted to offer their condolences. But he couldn’t right now, he needed rest and to be alone with Avalin at least for a few days before he broke the news to the kingdom.
Once back at the castle, he wrote out a small, blunt letter, requesting an audience with Thor. He passed the note on to a passing maid, thanking her and also telling her that him and Avalin should not be disturbed under any circumstance unless there was word rom the king. He let them think whatever they liked, all he wanted was to rest and hold his wife after far too long apart
After over a year of working and sleeping in the servant's quarters, Avalin almost forgot the direction to their room, relying on Loki's guidance to get there. It didn't help that she was lost in her thoughts as well, not even speaking as they reached their room. She just slipped off her cloak and slowly made her way to their bed. She closed her eyes as she sat down, not having nearly enough motivation to even change into more comfortable clothes. All she wanted was a hug and time with her husband.
He sat beside and pressed a kiss to her head, gently nudging her back and curling around her smaller flame. He nuzzled her brow, pressing small kisses along her brow and nose, trailing down to her lips. “Rest my love.” He murmured gently, tucking her safely beneath his chin. He drew the thicker covers over them both, absolutely reveling in the warmth both the sheets and Avalin provided, a warmth he thought he would never find again. He hugged her close and started humming softly, a bit incoherently but a lullaby nonetheless
She didn't object at all as he curled around her, nuzzling as close to him as she could and meeting his kiss gently. Avalin nodded as he spoke, not seeming to mind as she almost disappeared under the sheets. They provided a gentle layer of heaviness and paired with the warmth and soft humming that came from snuggling close to Loki, she didn't mind falling asleep. At least then she didn't have to think about any of the matters that felt like they were finally crushing her after five months of being strong.
He pressed a final kiss to her brow and wrapped his arms around her securely, soon drifting off into blissful sleep.
After a few hours, he felt a hand stroke his head. His eyes flickered open, widening when he saw the woman hovering over him. Frigga smiled lovingly and nodded towards Avalin, urging him to wake her. Loki glanced over at Avalin, wanting her to rest as much as possible.
“Don’t worry, no sleep will be lost. This is still a dream.” Frigga reassured, shifting so that the baby’s in her arms wasn’t more comfortable. Loki smiled softly and gently shook Avalin’s shoulder. “Love, wake up. Leif and mother are here.”
Avalin slept peacefully, nuzzled in as close as she could against Loki, though when he shook her shoulder, she woke up quite quickly. "Yes?" She asked in a soft murmur, glancing up at him with half-closed eyes. It was only when she saw another figure beside them that her eyes opened more and saw who it was. She smiled gently at the sight of them, reluctantly untangling herself from the sheets as she held her arms out to take Leif. "It's been too long since we've seen you two."
Frigga handed off Leif to Avalin and smiled softly “It became difficult to enter your dreams. I didn’t want to risk it in case the dreams became worse.” She replied, standing from the bed to allow the two to move. Loki nodded, knowing that he and Avalin both had sleepless nights as well as horrible dreams at times. He smiled softly down at Leif and gently stroked his hair. “I’m glad you came now, mother.”
She nodded, yawning slightly as she finished waking up. Holding Leif again was just what she needed at the moment, and that much was clear with the care she put into tucking him against her. Avalin smiled gently at their child, then leaned her head on Loki's shoulder, talking softly to Leif as the others talked. He cooed in response and she smiled, finally glancing up at Frigga again, "I'm glad we get to see you and him again, though I'm thankful you didn't risk entering dreams that could become worse."
Frigga nodded and smiled adoringly at her son and Avalin. “I’m glad the both of you are doing well now. I suspect that Thor will slowly ease his control on his strict rulership.” She sat in a chair across from them, looking like the queen she always had been in Loki’s eyes.
“He hasn’t had it easy mother, none of us had.”
“I know. The both of you need to continue to work on your relationship. I only hope that this can be done now that the both of you have been through all this.”
Loki nodded and glanced back down at Leif, smiling adorably at his son as he played with Avalin, responding to her coos and gestures.
He looked back at Frigga “do you think he would have lived if none of this happened?”
Frigga eyes turned sad “I’m not sure. That would have depended on a lot of aspects, Loki. Maybe not just the stress and events happening.”
Avalin half-listened to the conversation between her husband and Frigga, more focused on spending time with Leif than anything. Still, it didn't stop her from feeling sad at the realization that she had a part in Leif's death. Her smile faltered as they spoke about it, but she tried to look unaffected, going back to playing with her son and enjoying their time together.
Get nodded slowly and pressed a kiss to Avalin’s brow. He help her and their son close, smiling down at Leif and playing with him, conjuring whispered of magic like before for him to interact with, forming them into miniature animals. At one point he had noticed that Frigga had left, most likely to give them time to be with their son. Loki’s attention was drawn back to Leif when he yelled out happily when he caught one of pony’s that had been trotting around him. The horse gave out a whiny and snuggled up with Leif nudging it’s head against the baby’s head and settling comfortably beside him
"Did I really play a part in Leif's fate?" Avalin asked quietly when she noticed that Frigga had left, "Was me working too much?" She smiled gently whenever Leif looked at her, though it wasn't often thanks to his curiosity about the magic. When he looked away though her smile dropped and she leaned against Loki further.
Loki held her close and shook his head, though he wasn’t sure what he should have said. He didn’t believe that Avalin killed the child. But he did think that the stress caused by the work and her lack of self care did have negative affects on the baby’s health. Though he would also have to blame himself as well since it was his fault that they were both imprisoned in the castle in the first place.
“No, you didn’t. You gave him life my love, despite how ever short lived that was.” He said, knowing that it was true. He pressed a kiss to her brow and took away the rest of the animals, leaving the now very real, black miniature horse next to his sons head. Sleeping as Leif continued to laugh and giggle.
"I could have been more careful though," She added, focusing on the miniature horse next to Leif, "I should have been less stubborn and asked Thor for a break from work." Avalin shook her head, tears appearing in the corners of her eyes as she leaned her head against Loki's shoulder, "Maybe then we wouldn't have to visit him in a dream. He would actually be with us." It was hard not to feel the blame on herself, especially since there was no way it wasn't at least partly her fault.
He shook his head and gently stroked her cheek. “There’s a lot of things both of us could have define different my love, many many things. But at least we get to see him here instead of not at all.” He said softly, watching as Leif drifted off to sleep besides the horse.
She shrugged and leaned back against the backboard of the bed, cradling Leif and the horse close as her eyes flicked closed. "I suppose you're right." Avalin shifted so she was near Loki again, hoping she didn't start crying. Not while they were spending time with Leif and Frigga. She refused to cry when this was the only time they had with their son.
Loki held her close as she held Leif. He hated seeing his wife upset, especially over something that she had little to no control over. He pressed a kiss to her brow and silently prayed that everything would be alright from now on
Avalin leaned close to Loki, sighing again as she finally opened her eyes. Leif stayed sleeping as she glanced up at her husband, a gentle smile on her face, “You know you can go talk to your mother if you’d like, it’s been months since you’ve seen her, I’m sure you want to talk. I can watch him for a little bit.”
He smiled softly and kissed her lips gently. “Thank you munch love. I won’t be long.” He replied, slowly shifting out of the bed and making his way to the balcony that branched off their room to where his mother had last been seen
She nodded, kissing him back and pulling his pillow over to help support her arm that held Leif. Avalin settled in again and sighed, looking around their room just to do something rather than let sleep take her. She didn't know if falling asleep would make her leave the dream, but she didn't want to find out, and so keeping herself occupied was the best option.
“He finally let you out.” Frigga mused, turning when Loki approached. She smiled softly up at him and adjusted his hair,
. Loki smiled softly and leaned into her touch.
“Yes, he surprisingly did.” He replied. “You could have came. It would have helped her through this if she got to see him more often.”
“It would have. But I didn’t want to risk it. Her dreams as well as her emotions were too unstable. I feared bringing Leif would have upset her more, knowing that he would always be out of reach.”
Loki sighed “she didn’t deserve this.” He whispered softly
Frigga shook her head “no, but I also don’t think that she would have stepped aside either. She loves you far too much to do that.”
