forum •Fucking With My head• [one/one]

Started March 17, 2020 by Deleted user

tune

Edit topic

Kohen had shown up after school for the pancakes. He had gone out for a quick skate on his board to calm his nerves beforehand though. Despite him being a raging kid, he was still very nervous about interacting with people. I mean, he had to be nice to them and how was he supposed to not fuck that up?
As soon as he walked in he saw a bunch of people gathered around the kitchen and the lunch line where the lunch ladies usually rang them up. uuurgh… Kohen mentally made a noise of dissatisfaction as his eyes rolled back. This was going to be a long night.
Kohen walked closer and another student- Jen, who had organized the whole thing with the key club walked up to him. "You must be Kohen, yes?"
Kohen looked at him like he was stupid, a very visible tired look on his face. "No, it's Beckham."
Jen arched an eyebrow. "But it says here-"
"Ah shut up, I'm messing with you. That's my partner's name. So yeah, it's Kohen."
Jen was already starting to not like this kid. "Yeah, okay. Try to be more respectful. We'll be having a lot of elderly here and if you keep that act up I'm going to have to kick you out. Just a warning" He said and walked off.
Kohen was left there with a dumbfounded look on his face. Who did this kid think he was?!
"Tch, kick me out." he mocked Jen's words. "whatever…but I guess I can't fuck this up."

Soon Kohen was in the kitchen, a teacher instructing them on how the night was going to go. Apparently they were going to be there till eleven- almost midnight. Kohen didn't mind anyways, he had nothing better to do.
And then Kohen found himself wearing an apron and clear lunch lady gloves. "No, Jen, I'm not wearing this- !" He said following Jen around as he made sure everything was getting done right. "Okay, then you can leave. We don't need people who won't follow the rules."
Kohen's jaw dropped. He couldn't just…leave. He needed that skateboard.
"So yeah, just lay these out on the tables, six for each section- yeah and you guys can start wrapping the utensils in the napkins" Jen said to the others, ignoring the face that Kohen's made.

Beckham showed up, dressed in his usual Pride rainbows, smiling a little bit. He looked around for Jen, knowing he needed to check in, not just jump right in. He finally located Jen, but sighed when he saw who Jen was with: Kohen. Again. Shit. But…he was supposed to be Kohen's partner, wasn't he? Double shit. So he plastered on a smile and walked over, tapping Jen's shoulder. "I'm not too late, am I?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Oh, I'm Beckham, by the way."
He did his best to just ignore Kaz, focusing on Jen. His shirt was dark, but the long sleeves of it had a rainbow pattern, and the front was emblazoned with "Straight out of the closet". He had debated over the wisdom of wearing this while dealing with a bunch of old people who would likely be homophobic, but after talking it out with his older sister, had decided that since he wasn't ashamed of who he was, there was no point in hiding it. He didn't want to cover it up and not wear something just because it might piss off some old guy. So he wore it.

Jen's eyes brightened up. "Ah, yes, Beckham, right. I'll get you checked in then!" He said with a smile as he wrote down Beck's name and the time he entered.
Kohen's eye twitched a little against his will. First of all, why was he being ignored and second of all, why were these two acting all buddy buddy with each other even though this was their first time meeting?
It irritated Kohen. Beckham was supposed to be his partner and he hadn't even said a hello even though he was right there.
Kohen decided he had had enough of the shit and stormed off into the kitchen to cool his head. It would be bad if he was caught fighting again. He would surely get kicked out. Surprisingly this was the first time he had to practice self control, it was almost comical in a way. "Fuck these people, I'm ready to get out of here, can't wait till this is over…" He muttered under his breath as he angrily stirred the pancake mix.

(aight, change of plans since this isn't gonna work out- imma have my boi fall for your boi and get all angsty about it to the point where fighting with him is the only close connection he gets with Beck so he resorts to bullying him- but it's like all a facade because he really likes him, he just doesn't want to admit to it- yes yes like a tsundere XD
i hope this is okay- if you dont wanna do this we can keep going the way we are, i just dont know how they're gonna break the ice-)

Beckham smiled brightly. "Thanks. Jen, right?" he said, still smiling. He frowned a little bit when Kohen stormed away, cocking his head a little bit. What's wrong with him? He wondered. Was that because I didn't say hello? Why would i say hello when every other time I've spoken to him he's either insulted me or hurt me? He shook his head a little bit, letting out a breath.
Beckham listened carefully as Jen explained things, his eyes flickering around and taking in everything.

(alright, that's fine! It's your character :) )

(no no no i dont want ya to agree with me just cause he's my character- i want this to be enjoyable for you too)

Jen nodded. "That's my name" he said, his eyes softening. He quickly went over the rules and the times they were going to switch out with the other volunteers. "Oh, and tell your partner that you guys can have your break at ten, it gets really hot in there since we have this huge spinning stove for the pancakes, so it'll do you guys some good to get some fresh air"
He finished up and smiled at Beck. "You can go in the kitchen and someone will give you an apron and gloves like Kohen, it's a must so I'm sorry if it bothers you"
Jen quickly glanced at Beck's shirt and let out a chuckle. "Don't let the old folk get to ya, they can be a little extreme about certain aspects" And with that Jen refocused his attention on the person who had suddenly called him- by the looks of it, it was urgent.
"If you need anything or are curious about something don't hesitate to come to me!" he said in a loud voice as he made his way over the other group of kids.

(I'll have fun no matter which way we do it, Atlas. I really don't mind :) )

Beck nodded a little, listening intently. "Alright, thanks." he replied with a quick little smile. "I'll…let him know." at the advice about the old people, he nodded. "I wasn't planning on it. Thanks, Jen!" he called back as he started over to the kitchen. He spoke to someone, and got an apron and gloves, putting them on and heading over to Kohen.
"Kohen, Jen said that our break is at ten." he said simply. The bruises on his face had mostly faded away, though there was still a faint shadow where Kohen had hit him earlier that week. He asked one of the people in charge what he was supposed to do, and soon fell into a rhythm, helping out in the kitchen.

(alrighty! sorry for the delay too, ive been very out of it, my brain hasn't been working properly nowadays)

"Oh, that's good- wasn't expecting a break" he muttered as he kept mixing the ingredients, he glanced sideways at Beck and saw the fading bruise. Soon his face showed a light pink tint on it. He hadn't planned on punching him that hard. It just had…he had done it in the heat of the moment.
Beck didn't know it but Kohen tried his best to bump into him as much as he could in the kitchen.
Fast forward to their break time and Kohen was covered in sweat. "arrgh!!" he yelled, throwing his apron off. The kitchen was getting to be unbearable. His hair was a mess and he was pretty sure he looked like shit.
Kohen prided himself in having a good presentation, but now-
He groaned. He didn't even want to think about it.
Then a small thought creeped into his mind. What if Beck had seem him like that? They hadn't bumped into each other in the last thirty minutes, but what if?
He flushed red. Beck this. Beck that. What the fuck was wrong with him?!

(it's fine!)

Beck nodded a little bit, and continued to work. He didn't overly mind when Kohen bumped into him, just so long as he wasn't sent sprawling. Which he wasn't, so. No harm no foul, right? He hummed quietly to himself as he worked, but was enormously grateful when break time came, slipping out the back door to stand outside in the cool night air, leaving the apron folded neatly on a shelf. He was sweaty and felt just gross, his red hair messy and unkempt. He tugged at the lower part of his shirt, making the shirt move to get more cool air against his body.

Kohen tried to cover his face as much as he could, but to no avail. He just had to sit there miserably for a solid thirty seconds. Kohen closed his eyes, trying to picture himself anywhere else but here. Right about now he would be raising hell with his friends instead of participating in this dumb ass charity whatever.
And as soon as he thought that he saw something coming in from the distance he decided he would go back in. There were three silhouettes, but he couldn't make out who.
I mean, there was also a game going on at the same time. The committee had decided to host the pancakes for supper along with the game finals, it was kind of smart in a way.
Kohen shrugged it off as teenagers coming to the pancakes thing.
He suddenly got up and decided that was enough fresh air for him, he wasn't in the mood to deal with others, he would leave that up to Beck, but as soon as he stood, he heard one of the kids call his name out.
"So this is what you're up to!" One of them called out.
Kohen frowned. They came closer and now it was clear as to who it was in the light. It was Jake and the other two. He groaned.
Jake came close and wrapped a arm around Kohen. "Or maybe you're playing around with some hot males?" He teased and that's when Kohen pushed at him, but Jake wouldn't budge.
"Will you shut up?" He said, embarrassed out of his mind.
Then Jake's eyes landed on Beck. "oooooh~ I see what's going on here…you want some alone time with him, huh?"
Kohen then shoved Jake away roughly. "Shut up! I'm not-"
Then Jake walked over to Beck and did the same to him, he wrapped an arm around Beck. Kohen could feel his heart stop for a split second. "Jake-" Kohen warned.
"Whaaat? We're friends, aren't we?" He spoke to other male.
Kohen could feel the anger burning inside of him, and it translated onto his cheeks. Jake could see the anger written all over Kohen's face and his features lit up. "Ahaha, oh my god Kohen, so soon? You're such a playboy!" He snickered. Kohen had had enough. "I'm done with this." He growled and started walking over to the door, but Marcus was already there, blocking his way.
"Out of my way Lighter."
Marcus just crossed his arms. "What are you gonna do? Make me?" There was a dangerous tone to his voice- one that Kohen was not willing to test.
So he turned to Jake. "What do you want?"
"Im just curious as to why you've ditched us recently. You haven't even picked up our calls- We've been so lonely~" He chuckled. Then Jake's demeanor changed. "Or maybe you think you can leave us for this boy toy here" He said coldly, all amusement gone from his face.
"He's not my 'boy toy' or whatever the fuck you're thinking of. I'm done with that, I told you." Kohen protested.
Jake arched an eyebrow. "mmmm really? So if I just…" Jake didn't even finish his sentence, he decided to demonstrate by pressing his lips onto Beck's.
Then Kohen lost it. He went at Jake. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" He tried to swing at Jake but Rae got ahold of him first and held him back. "Let go of me! What did you really come here for Jake? Just to mess with me?"
Jake was laughing hysterically at this point. "I cannot believe that actually worked! Jesus Kohen! You need to control yourself. He doesn't belong to you, I can do whatever the hell I want with him. I can even-"
"Shut up!" He tried to break loose from Rae but then Marcus joined in and grabbed his other arm. Marcus seemed a little irritated now, and it wasn't because of Kohen. It was because Jake had kissed the other male.
"Well? What do you think? Do you like Kohen too?" Jake asked. He really didn't have respect for anyone.
Kohen just looked away, a defeated look on his face.

Beck froze when other people came over, his whole body going still as he was grabbed, his shoulders pressing in close to his body and those brown eyes going wide and afraid, darting around the group, silent as they spoke and leaning away from Jake, hating the contact, the touch.
And then he was kissed.
He froze even more, his body going stiff at the unwanted contact, hands shaking by his sides as memories of the past, of his father, swarmed his mind. And then his hands were coming up, shoving Jake away, feet carrying him backwards until he felt the wall behind him. "Don't touch me." he snapped, hands shaking, face pale. It's okay it's okay you're safe, dad's not here he's in jail, remember? Remember? Don't break down over this, you're okay. You're okay.

Jake's lips curved into a malicious smile. "Oh, I'm going to do more than just touch you" He threatened, walking towards Beck, eyes determined.
Kohen could feel his mind go blank. He didn't want to see this again. He saw it too many times and he couldn't get it out of his mind no matter how hard he tried, it was burned to his memory.
Kohen was a good guy on the inside, he just didn't know it. He had been around Jake's influence for too long that he had forgotten what it felt like to have morals.
But even though Kohen might have been a good guy, he couldn't do anything when Jake grabbed the other by the neck and whispered something into his ear.
"JAKE" Kohen tried, but he knew that Jake wouldn't listen. Jake suddenly stopped. "I've got a better idea. Why don't you prove to me that this isn't what you want?" He said hinting at Beck. "You take over. Besides, this is what you signed up for when you joined us"
No it wasn't. Kohen hadn't expected everyone to be so ruthless. He just wanted to have someone he could get along with.
This was the moment Kohen had to chose if he wanted to go down that road or seek out what he really wanted which was a good education- a normal life.
Kohen looked up at Beck as Jake held onto him.

Beckham was shaking in Jake's grip, those brown eyes of his wide and scared. He looked smaller than he already was, his breathing fast and a little uneven, catching in his chest. Don't do this, please don't do this. He knew that if this went any further, if Jake or Kohen did what Jake was threatening…Beck knew he wouldn't be able to pick up his own shattered pieces. He hadn't hurt himself in a month and a half and he knew that that progress would be erased, smashed away. He hadn't had a breakdown or panic attack in about the same time span, and he knew that if this went further, his mental state would be back to where it had been when he was ten. Frightened and afraid and flinching at everything, cutting so deep it needed stitches, just to feel something other than that empty ache inside of him.

Jake ran his hand under Beck's shirt, as if to taunt Kohen into action.
Kohen closed his eyes. This was supposed to be volunteer work for fucks sake. "Alright fine!" Kohen finally gave in. "Just stop touching him." he said opening his eyes. They seemed dead, no mercy to them.
Rae and Marcus let him fall forward. I mean, isn't this what he wanted? To prove himself to his friends? Well now he was being given a chance. Would he take it though? Or would his consciousness weigh down on him?
He got up and walked up to Jake and Beck. Jake released Beck and crossed his arms.
Jake knew Kohen wouldn't do it, but if he did….then that would seal the deal. He would be one of them. But it was fun messing with Kohen, he was too innocent even though he got into fights often. He was such a kid.
Or at least that's what Jake thought.
But Kohen was being forced right now, he was like a cornered animal. And for a second there his mind wandered into an even darker realm.
Murder.
And so when he went to touch Beck, his mind did a one eighty and his knuckled made contact with Jake's jaw instead. Marcus immediately sprung into action and tried to hold him back but Kohen was just as strong.
Kohen gave Beck a hard cold glare in his direction as if telling him to run- to go back inside.
Rae saw what Kohen was doing and turned a blind eye to it, because just like Kohen, she wasn't fully on board with what Jake was doing.

Beck flinched hard as Jake's hand ran under his shirt, shaking harder. When Jake let go, he stumbled a little, catching himself, eyes caught on Kohen with that fear still so obvious in his eyes. Then the fight started and he was going, fleeing back inside to the safety of other people, trembling and shaking, breath catching in his chest as the panic and realization of what had just happened sank its claws and teeth into him.
He fled down into a hallway, close enough to the volunteer area that if something else happened, someone would hear, but far enough away for him to be alone. He sank down onto the ground, leaning against the wall and trying not to start crying.

Soon enough Kohen was pressed against the ground, he couldn't overpower all three of them.
"What are you trying to prove? Trying to act the part? Maybe if you're a hero then he'll like you?" Jake laughed harshly, his jaw still sore. He rolled his eyes. "Pathetic."
Kohen wasn't doing it for anyone. He was doing this for himself. All his fucked up life he had been subjected to do things he didn't want to do and every time he had given in. Not today though. "Whatever. I'm not like you. I may try to hide the fact that I'm gay- may even be a hypocrite for beating up others who are, but I will never sexually abuse them. You're disgusting Jake." And for once Kohen was saying what was on his mind. In a way he was thankful for this encounter with Beck. He wasn't going to hide how he felt anymore.
Jake stood quiet, looking down on Kohen with disdain in his eyes. "I think maybe you'd like to take his place then? You're a bully Kohen, but if you want to be demoted from that rank, I'll be happy to help you out. Soon you'll feel what you've done to others. You'll be all alone and no one will have pity on you because of who you used to be."
Kohen seemed to freeze. Jake was right. He would go back to square one. Part of Kohen wanted to beg for forgiveness like he did with his father, but there was part of him that was too prideful to do so.

Jake scoffed and looked at the others. "Get him up and bring him to the car."

And hour had passed, it was already midnight and kohen sat in a secluded part of the parking lot. He couldn't bring himself to go back in after what had happened. He couldn't even stand for fucks sake.
Part of him wanted Beck to have been in that situation instead of him. Why should he take the fall?
But Kohen hadn't cried. He hadn't even put up a fight. His clothes were messed up and he had some bruises on his neck that bothered him. God, he hated everyone so much.
Instead of dwelling on what had happened he got up. He needed to get some sleep since he had work later that day.

Beck hadn't been able to focus, too shaky from what had almost happened. He had ended up calling Lily, his older sister, to ask her to pick him up. Lily was a senior, and trans, having been born male but identifying as female. She and her twin brother, Rowan, were the oldest two in the Altair family, and, like Beckham, had been adopted. She showed up after a little while, parking and letting Beck know that she was there to get him.
Beck was still shaky, his hands trembling by his sides and half of him wanting a razor blade to cut and cut and cut until this shaky fear was gone again. His eyes landed on Kohen, and he bit his lower lip a little bit, eyes traveling over the taller male for a moment before settling on his face.
"Do you, uhm, do you want a ride?" he asked slowly, gesturing vaguely at where Lily was waiting in the car. I owe him for that. He didn't know what had happened after he left, but he knew it had probably been bad.

Kohen stared at him for a while before sighing and giving in. "Yeah, sure, why not." Part of Kohen was glad that he was enveloped in darkness. Beck couldn't really see the miserable and disgraceful state he was in.
Kohen started to walk and could feel his legs start to give out, but forced himself to keep going. How embarrassing would it be if he just toppled over? And so he walked with a slight limp in his leg.
He made sure Beck got in first, then he went and sat.
Kohen looked around the car, it smelled nice, and it was comfortable. He had always wanted one of his own. For some reason Kohen was always interested in the smallest of things. He wondered what the scent was called. He smiled a bit at his own curiosity, maybe it was just his way of trying to keep him focused on something so his mind didn't wander to what had happened. He was tired though and his eyes felt heavy. He wasn't sure if he was going to make it.

Beckham sat down in the passenger front seat, swallowing softly and looking back at Kohen for a moment. "Where, uhm, where do you live? So Lily can get you home." he gestured to his older sister, who was eyeing her second passenger in the rearview mirror with a slightly raised eyebrow. She was about the same height as Kayen, with long dark hair and a slim form.
"Or would you rather go to a hospital?" she asked after a moment, leaning forward and starting the car.

Kohen stiffened at both of their questions and subconsciously wrapped his jacket closer to his face. If Kohen went back home looking the way he did, he was gonna get it again and what Jake had done had been enough for the night. He wouldn't be able to take another beating. "No, no hospital" He muttered. "Just drop me off downtown near the motorcycle club.."
Yes. Kohen was a dumbass going back to Rae for help after she had helped Jake with his stupid desires, but he really didn't have anywhere else to go and she was the closest person to nice that he could think of.

Lily frowned slightly, not driving yet. "I… really can't do that." She said slowly. "I'm not dropping a…15 year old?…off by himself at a club. If you can't go home, you can come home with us. Mom and dad won't mind." She glanced at Beckham for a moment, then turned to look back at Kohen again.
Beck's eyes widened. He still hadn't forgotten the things Kohen had said that day in class, and even with what had just happened…a large part of him was still afraid of the other male, perhaps even more so now. But he didn't protest, just bit down on his lip, fidgeting a little bit. He wanted to get home and curl up in his bed and sleep. And hopefully be strong enough not to cut himself open.

Kohen seemed a little surprised at the offer, having snapped his attention up at Beck's sister. He really hated bothering others because of his own problems, but he'd have to take their proposal this one time. It was an emergency- well…at least it was in his mind.
"ah, um…" He glanced at Beck, expecting him to protest, but surprisingly he didn't. "I…thanks. Yeah…I hope you guys will have me…sorry for the trouble.."
Then kohen went back to staring at the floor, breaking eye contact. His father had beaten that into him from a young age- to make eye contact when others were speaking to him- quite literally too.