She playfully glared at him, "I am not a manipulator!" Ki leaned into him more as he spoke. "If their good ones. I hate the bad ones." She told him, remembering the surprise visit from her aunt and uncle, only to be placed under their care. It was nice to be able to lean against someone and just talk. "Like I said you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She said, looking at her boots, focusing on the wrinkles on them.
"You are too." he huffed poking her cheek.
He noticed she leaned in more and looked away again. "Well that's interesting to know, i will keep that in mind." He looked straight froward as he spoke.
"Well then if you don't want me to tell you then i guess i just wont."
She poked his side, "am not." Ki smiled as he spoke. He still was comforting to her. "I respect privacy. its your choice. not mine." She told him. "You're mean. You poke and flick me all the time. You need to be nice." She joked around, making it obvious it was a joke as well. Last thing she need was him getting mad at her. "I guess your also not one for eye contact?" She said, noticing he barely looked at her. Probably not used to having someone this close.
He swatted her hand away from him instinctively, listening to her talk as well. He scoffed when she said he was mean, he knew it was a joke but it couldn't be closer to the truth. He didn't know why she turned it into a joke though, he wouldn't of got mad at that.
"I guess you could say that, Im not used to all….this." He spoke hesitanting a bit.
"i understand that." she told him, "I'm here to help you get used to it though." Ki looked at him again, "You're still cozy though." She smiled, a small blush on her cheeks. God you make me feel some sort of way. "you dont have to open up to me." she told him honestly.
"Okay can you stop saying that? I get it, you want me to know i dont have to open up to you, so just stop." He snapped at her statement. he wasn't mad at her, he was mad at himself for how much he wanted to unload and unpack all his crap. He resisted the urge to cover up his face and hide. He looked away out into the distance, frustrated at himself.
He let out a sigh,
"Im not mad at you." He finally said, he didn't want her to take it the wrong way.
"stop beating yourself up." she said softly, "i know your not mad at me." Ki didnt say anything. she let the silence between the two take over. Kiera grabbed his hand and held it, letting him know that he was doing just fine. why'd you grab his hand? She looked at him, "Dont beat yourself up. We've got plenty of time."
"For someone who knows that im not mad at you, you sure make a lot preparations and crap to make sure you don't make me mad." he ignored her first statement. He felt her grab his hand, he let her hold onto to it, just sitting there holding her hand. for some reason he wanted to cry, he didn't know why it just a strong urge to just sob, he didn't give in of course.
He just sat there wanting to cry for no reason.
"Im not, I'm not." He didn't seem to want to say he was not beating himself up but he didn't know why he would.
"Just a habit. Only happens when I care about someone." She said softly, just sitting there. "Its obvious that you are." Ki wished she wouldn't have pushed him over the edge. "I know this is really early on, but…" She dropped her sentence. Ki couldn't tell him. He'd probably leave as soon as she said it. "Nevermind. Forget it." she mumbled, her nerves taking over.
"You truly care for me? the litteral leader of a super dangerous and deadly mafia?" He raised a eyebrow at her, when he turned to her. He could see the tears trying to gather and he wouldn't let them.
"But?" he got a bit confused when she stopped mid sentence, then told him to forget it.
"yeah whatever."
"I like you okay? More than friends." She murmured, she dropped his hand while telling him. "It's late, and we should probably go separate ways." Ki felt terrible. She wanted to bust down. But she didn't. Not infront of him. He already has his own stuff to deal with, she wouldn't give him her problems. Ira (another nickname of hers) just sat there in silence, not moving or anything, hoping that he wouldn't leave. please stay…
He was genuinely shocked, at first he didn't believe it, but slowly letting it sink in and after a few minutes he came to the conclusion that she was indeed telling the truth.
He didn't know how to feel or what to feel.
He saw how desperate, how sad she looked.
He walked over and bit his lip, he wrapped his arms around her and pulling her in for a hug. He was really flustered while doing so but held it anyways.
She hugged him back, not knowing what to do. "I'm sorry…" She mumbled. damnit ki, you most definitely screwed things up. "We can just forget about what I said. And just stay friends." She told him. She looked at him, something is wrong. "We should probably go our ways though. It seems like you have a lot on your mind and I'll let you deal with it." Ki got worried, is it about me? "Unless you want to talk to me."
"Dont apologise." he sighed, his thoughts were really jumbled up. "If i sat alone i would probably get overly confused by my thoughts or just end up doing work so i guess it technically would be better to talk to someone about it."
She nodded, "i'm listening." She let him do the talking this time, only if he wanted to. Ki wish she had her pen, it would've reduced her nerves already. But the nerves wouldn't leave after a couple minutes. Kiera looked at him, hoping he could trust her and open up.
He sighed, he used a hand to run through his hair, a stress habit he had. "Im not the best for this kind of stuff, i know you keep saying to be patient and it'll come with time but too be honest? I hate hearing that, its not your problem its mine. I cant get out of my own head. I don't know how "liking" someone works. i cant give you a solid answer, what i can say is that when i see you smile it warms me up on the inside and makes me want to smile back at you. Your laughter is so uniquely you…being with you…is comforting to me…" he leaned on her, threatening to let the tears come back.
"I'm not ready to open up to anyone yet…but…maybe infuture i will get out of my own dead let someone in."
She looked at him, and smiled, "Okay." She stayed quiet and just held him. He needed it. Affection. "Thats fine." She murmured, her hand rubbing his back. She leaned into him just wanting him to be okay.
He was more broken hen he felt she could ever understand but still let her hold him, he enjoyed this whatever it was, helped calm him down. "Thanks." he muttered
"Mhm." she hummed, while just holding him close. "Do you want to go home?" Ki asked softly, "I could walk you there." Kiera tried her best to comfort him.
"you walk me home? Do you want to get hurt? There's no way you could walk always back and not get stopped at least three times." He tched at her suggestion. "I usually just go back to base and work anyway."
"I'd do it for you though. And I'm armed tonight." She told him. "Or you could somehow get into the my aunts house." Ki grabbed his hand and held it again, liking the way they fit together. And the warmth of his hand. "We can stay here too." Kiera told him.
He scoffed, "your not doing anything of the sort." "I'm sure I could handle your aunt." He rolled his eyes at the thought of someone middle aged maybe older women trying to talk down to him.
"I really do not care what we do, so I guess it's up to you."
"We can stay here longer." She told him, a slight shiver running over her from the coldness. Ki readjusted her sweater with her hand that wasnt holding his. Kiera looked up at him and gave him a small smile, "You're warm…"
He took off his coat, seperating there hands and putting the coat around Ki.
"Well now your warmer." He commented, dang this man sure does not like smiling. He put his hand near hers, but didn't grab it again. he gazed out into the trees, enjoying the silence.
"You didn't have to. I could've found my way to the station and got my coat." She said softly as she wrapped it around her. Ki smiled to herself, he's sweet when he wants to be. She sat back down on the grass, just looking at the trees, the birds flying over head. "If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?" She asked, "I'd go to Bora Bora. The warmth, the animals and plants, white sand beaches."