forum Your personal venting space.

Started January 17, 2019 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

I was looking through my phone notes and apparently one of the many notes I have is a rant about myself

It's almost 300 words.

I was looking through my phone notes and apparently one of the many notes I have is a rant about myself

It's almost 300 words.

Share if you want

Ok here it is. I wrote it in February it said

I hate my procrastination. I hate the pressure I am constantly given. Tendonitis sucks. I think I look fine, though I hate looking in mirrors. I feel that pictures make me look worse. I hate it how everything I write is shit. Sometimes I feel like everyone around me can do something but the minute I am put to the task of doing it I just mess up completely. It is annoying when my anxiety chooses to only act up in math class. I'll be asked a question or be told to write something on the bored. But I will be terrified as I do so, I fear that I will mess up completely. I am scared of the dark. Absolutely terrified. I constantly feel chased when I am alone in the dark. Though I know I am fine nothing is there. Also sometimes I can't lay down certain ways because I feel like I can't breathe. Same goes with swimming, the water has to be below and not around or touching my neck or I feel I am unable to breathe. Sometimes I wish I could talk to people about stuff or just, vent? But I just can't I feel as if I shouldn't and can't toss my problems onto them, even if they are a therapist. Though I am perfectly fine with people venting to me for the most part. Lastly, I sometimes feel like I can't call people my friends because I know eventually they will get sick of me or just leave for someone better. I feel that way because it has happened before.

Oh Shives. I know what you mean. I really do

Hey, AFT?
You say that you don't deserve friends as amazing as them, but have you ever took the time to think that maybe, your friends feel the same way about you?
Just by existing, you're basically living, breathing proof to your friends that they're loved, and that knowledge alone can be extremely helpful in tough times.

You are good enough, you are going to make it through this, and you are helping.
Things will get better, I know they will. The best thing you can do is keep trying to help, even if you don't succeed. For some people, just knowing that there are people who care about them so much that they're willing to give up everything just to help out can be more than enough.
Together, you guys can push through this. I know you can.
(Also, I know I say this all the time, but I'm here for you. Okay? You can PM me anytime.)

<3

I need to vent about this stupid eyelash that’s been stuck in my eye all day today.

Be my guest.

Not really a rant, but I just took the Myers-Briggs personality test and I got ENTP/Debater (not a surprise, that's what I get 99% of the time) but my extrovert vs introvert was 51% to 49% so I'm officially an ambivert lol

Yay! Another ambivert!

Hey, AFT?
You say that you don't deserve friends as amazing as them, but have you ever took the time to think that maybe, your friends feel the same way about you?
Just by existing, you're basically living, breathing proof to your friends that they're loved, and that knowledge alone can be extremely helpful in tough times.

You are good enough, you are going to make it through this, and you are helping.
Things will get better, I know they will. The best thing you can do is keep trying to help, even if you don't succeed. For some people, just knowing that there are people who care about them so much that they're willing to give up everything just to help out can be more than enough.
Together, you guys can push through this. I know you can.
(Also, I know I say this all the time, but I'm here for you. Okay? You can PM me anytime.)

<3

Thank you. Thank you. Sorry, I got really just —- yeah but thank you. I'll try to remember that

Not really a rant, but I just took the Myers-Briggs personality test and I got ENTP/Debater (not a surprise, that's what I get 99% of the time) but my extrovert vs introvert was 51% to 49% so I'm officially an ambivert lol

Yay! Another ambivert!

I always get that too, and the percentage I got last time was really similar to that, but this time I got 57-43% (extrovert to introvert).
Honestly it depends on my mood for which percentage is higher.

I'm apparently an ENFP-T. Not sure what that means though

I'm apparently an ENFP-T. Not sure what that means though

It means you're extroverted, you're intuitive, you think with your heart, and you're perceptive. The 't' means you're turbulent as opposed to assertive.
Catagory-wise, you're called a Campaigner. Traits you most likely have are: curious, observant, enthusiastic, energetic, good communicator, popular, friendly, know how to relax, difficulty focusing, poor practical skills, easily stressed, overthinker, independent to a fault, and highly emotional.

Not really a rant, but I just took the Myers-Briggs personality test and I got ENTP/Debater (not a surprise, that's what I get 99% of the time) but my extrovert vs introvert was 51% to 49% so I'm officially an ambivert lol

Yay! Another ambivert!

I always get that too, and the percentage I got last time was really similar to that, but this time I got 57-43% (extrovert to introvert).
Honestly it depends on my mood for which percentage is higher.

Same!

LOTS OF SWEARS LITERALLY JUST F-BOMBS WARNING
I wish that life would just leave me alone. It's the second fucking day of April and there's already something scheduled every fucking day this month. To make it even better, my dad is leaving for the Philippines, and he'll be gone for two weeks, and so I'll be in charge of my brother, who's really slow in the morning, and is going to make me miss my bus when I take him to the neighbors house. To make it better, my dad is making me keep a planner, and is checking it every fucking night to make sure that i'm using it, when it just is making me feel more stressed out!! Some people say "Oh, make a to-do list!" But that makes it worse cuz I can see I have a million things to do!

I understand and that sounds awful and suffocating

I have to say i agree on the planner thingy. I hate planners and will never use one.

Oh jeez. That sucks. I'm sorry :(

What the hell is this!!!!!???? My Robotics team is invited to our state championship and our mentor is like NEEEOPE. He just doesn't want to go, even though my team worked hard, and got second place at a local championship! This was the year that our team that we finally received recognition and respect from the others, and our coach says no!!!!! Why? Why World, WHY?

daaaamn. that's awful.

That's terrible! How stupid! I'm sorry.

Wow that's not great.

Lol so I had a breakdown blah blah blah anyway I’m worried that I’m going to be the one the screws up my relationship with all of my bullshit ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Im scared guys… I thought she'd forgotten but she didn't. My mom threatened my writing again. I thought she'd forgotten like she does everything else. This scares me more than anything….
I thought life couldn't get worse. Im stressed over everything right now. Cadets. School. Everything. I have the Silver's FTX next month, and If I don't pass that then I can't graduate Silver star. Im stressed over even going to the regular meets for Cadets thanks to the other Silver Stars being goofs and getting our breaks taken away again.
School is stressful because Im falling behind in English class. I have a presentation the day after tommorrow. And I am not prepped at all. I am falling behind for reading the Hunger games for the class unit. This is also my last class of the day. And my teacher assigns homework. I don't do well trying to work outside of class time thanks to my busy family. So now Im behind. Trying to catch up during the other classes. And ultimately failing at that cause my other teachers are piling on work, (luckily no homework) and one of my class periods cant be used for homework cause It's gym class.
Then add in my writing being threatened. And mg family's normal routine being on the verge of changing cause spring. And then add in the fact that we have a week long trip up to my grandparent's which will cost me an unaffordable week of school.
Im freaking out. I just realized how much I wrote here…. I didn't realize I had this much on my plate. I have too much to deal with right now… and it doesn't help that mg roleplays keep dying off. (They actually do help me ignore stress.) AND NO IM NOT BLAMING ANYONE I KNOW PEOPLE HAVE LIVES. I cant help the need to almost constantly have a way to escape mine.

See my anxiety pencil it in our personal message if you need help.

Already looked through it… but I don't have any of those symptoms…