"Are you okay? You seem to have lost the plot."
Me on the floor, dying, laughing wildly as tears stream down my face: "I aM cOnFuSeD pErSoN!!!"

"So which is the guy you like at work?"
"Harry."
"Is he the one who gave you the hickey?"
"No that's Hayden."
"Okay and who is James?"
"He's another guy at work."
"Jesus Christ you get around…"

"I'm confused, who are you today?"
"Good question, I haven't figured that bit out myself yet."
"Ah… Hello Danny."

"Gotta have my daily tall water ya know!"
"You hate water."
Me, crying with a wide grin as I sip my water: "I know…"

"How did you get lost in a forest?"
"I was with two gays who were talking about cars, I wasn't looking where I was going as I made notes."

"You go to my college as well???"
"Yeah, I haven't seen you around though."
"Oh, you will."

(… These are the best on this forum.)

(You think so? Well thanks!)

Hitler's bad spray tan

"why are you playing DnD in the middle of AP world history?"

"i can fit in a tuba case"

"THAT POLAR BEAR T H I C C"

"remember that time we were all vaping ms primus's oil diffuser"

"tHe PlOt ChIcKeNs!"

"You know you're best friends when you can watch borderline-porn together"

"BEetTHhaALAMUELL"

"Friendship is bonding over the mutual hate of tentacle porn together."

"christ"
"micah stop talking in 3rd person"

"KOYLE CHERRY" (also in a Jersey accent)

man-woman

"You tricked us into playing Smash!"

“Meta Knight, Meta Knight, HOOOOOOOO”

"thankies"

"Why does yawning offend you?"

“You’re about to crash, ah.” plane bops ground

Best bonding time is mutually picking fuzzies off jeans. (@emotional boi will get this. winks)

What’s the magic word?

Quesadilla

kdobins

“Dat ass brother. Do you have dat ass?”
“Ow my eggs”
“I only drink wet water”

*Awkward silence

Did you forget your line

WHERE ARE MY MINI MUFFINS???

"You know what name would be bad to have?"
"BUTT WIPE"

Boxular

I don't have a bird and I don't feed it rice…