@Adam_gets_railed_by_men
“You are but.. Fuck it..” he mumbled leaning in and kissing kaito
“You are but.. Fuck it..” he mumbled leaning in and kissing kaito
Kaito couldn't help but push Rantaro away. He wasn't sure what to think. He had a boyfriend, and while his boyfriend was dying, he still felt loyal to him. His feelings were conflicted, though. The kiss brought some form of comfort, but he didn't know why.
"What the hell…?!" he asked. He didn't seem angry, just surprised. "Taro, I have a boyfriend…but I didn't hate that… What's going on…? Why do I suddenly feel like crying…?"
“I'm not sure about crying but I'm tired of waiting for ad pushing my feelings away just so shu can be happy. He dying and I'm sorry but I loved you longer than he has..”
Kaito sighed softly as he looked away from Rantaro. He couldn't stand to look at someone as he felt tears forming in his eyes. It was strange for him to cry, and he hated that he was going to. He just couldn't fight his emotions back any longer. He was simply overwhelmed due to the situation.
"I…I just… This is too much…" he said after a moment. "You're in love with me, my boyfriend is dying…I'm gonna miss him, I'm scared, and somehow, I don't mind that you love me… I kinda love you too, but it's gonna be a while… I'm losing my other best friend, the person I loved… Just…if you leave, I can't blame you…"
“I'm never going to leave your side,” he mumbled
Kaito nodded, and while he hesitated for a moment, he eventually wrapped Rantaro in a tight hug as he allowed himself to cry. "Just…why now…? I just got him back…and now he'll be gone…forever… It's too much to handle right now…"
“ because he needed to make peace with you..”
"But…he's just…dying…! I…" Kaito sighed softly, "I dunno… He's been my best friend for years, and now he's gonna be gone…! I always thought that I'd die first, but I guess not… I'm gonna miss him, you know…?"
“I know..” I will too..”
Kaito nodded as he held onto Rantaro tightly. "Yep… I dunno what to do… I'm losing him…! It's all so sudden…"
“Tell me about it, he was always a brother to me..”
"He's…just gone… There's no saving him…even with all the optimism I have…" Kaito sighed softly. "I'll miss him so much…! If he dies here…at least the last thing he heard from me was that I love him… I ended it on a good note, like you said I should…"
“I'm glad you're realizing this.”
"I'm…not entirely sure what you're glad about right now… It's difficult, everything that's going on, but I'll get through it with time…"
“It was sarcastic..” he said and kissed the others temple
Kaito still wasn't sure how to respond to the other's displays of affection. He didn't mind them, and he found them a bit comforting, but he still felt like it was weird. He was still dating Shuichi. "I'm…not sure how to respond…"
“..” rantaro nodded, though his breath stilled as the doctor came out with a grim expression
Kaito looked up at the doctor, not even attempting to fake a smile. He knew that Shuichi was either dead or about to die. "So…what's the news?" he asked after a moment. "Is he dead? Dying? I know I'm gonna lose him if I haven't already, so just tell me…"
“ he's… He's gone..”
Kaito nodded. "I expected that. Thank you for letting me know."
His tone was calm and lacked any form of emotion. It was all that he could do to stop himself from breaking down and crying right there. He knew that he'd express it all later, so he didn't see the need to express it in front of people. Once he and Rantaro left the hospital and returned home, he would allow himself to cry.
Rantaro wrapped his arms around kaito “I'm so sorry..”
Kaito shook his head as he hugged Rantaro tightly. "No need to be sorry, Taro…" he said softly as he tried to fight more tears back. "He's…gone… It's…well, for the better… At least he won't suffer anymore…"
Rantaro teared up, “yeah but.. He's gone..”
Kaito nodded in response. He was aware that Shuichi was gone, and the fact was definitely upsetting. He was trying to assure himself that things were for the better and that they'd be okay, but he truly wasn't sure how well he'd be able to handle everything. His childhood best friend who had been his boyfriend for over a year was suddenly gone, out of his life forever. It hurt him to think about as he fell into silence and just started crying as he held onto Rantaro.
Rantaro held the other, silent tears streaming down his face
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