forum Will critique all characters and draw one (1) of each username - DISCONTINUED
Started by Blue Duck
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Blue Duck

We apologize for the hiatus, we have had exams, and honestly still have exams but we will try our best. The stress has been nonstop but we wish to return to critiquing, drawing and writing our own story. We wish you luck with any exams you may have as well!
-The Blue Duck Team

P.S: If you want a really scary version of your character, feel free to ask specifically for Brooklyn

Blue Duck

@Celestial-B Sorry for the delay, but here are you characters. Please send us an email address so we can send you the artwork!

Peyton Stewart:
Brooklyn: First off, I want to say thank you for two things:
I often find it difficult to relate to characters on a physical level. My hair is not quite the commonly used “jet black”, but its darker than “chestnut brown”. The way you described Pace’s hair was so relatable, and in my opinion, more realistic. Not many people have pure black hair, so your description was rather accurate.
The fact that you made Pace love running even though he’s bad at it was amazing. A lot of the time, people only like things that they are good at. A cool character that is willing to do something he likes even if he’s not good at it is so unique.
Anyways, I think Peyton is an incredibly well rounded and developed character. He seems so realistic. I found myself laughing at the favorite colour, not because I was making fun of him, but because it was so adorable. If you were to change something, I think it would be to expand on your backstory. You could maybe talk about if he struggled with opening up to his new friends because of the bullying he experienced. You could describe his feelings when he saw people wanting to hang out with him. I think that would add a ton of depth.
Delta: I love this character so much. On every single page I caught myself smiling to myself because we need more guys like him in the world. I especially love that he’s not perfect appearance wise, often times we find characters that are not physically or emotionally flawed, and the stretch marks on his legs were a very nice little touch. Something to add would be how his past and his family shaped who he is today. That backstory would add some depth to the character and make Pace more relatable. I love this character though and relate to him on so many levels.
Tallinn: There isn’t many problems with Pace, due to the fact that he’s a well fleshed out character, which allowed me to get a clear image of him in my mind. The only problems that can come to mind at this moment, is to maybe add more Prejudices, seeing as people in the real world always have many prejudices. Other than that, you included many mannerisms that he does and when/why he does them. One more thing, I would recommend giving him more positive characteristics. You seem to be giving him many negative ones that may cause the reader to have troubles connecting with the character on an emotional level.

Darya:
Brooklyn: I love how her hair is naturally wavy like a surfer, or someone who spends a ton of time in the ocean. Also a huge fan of the body description, I thought it was super clever. Do Gods/Godesses get to choose their markings? If so, you might want to add some sort of emotional connection Dara has with them, and maybe talk about whether or not is was her choice to turn them dark, or if it was a sign of disrespect from the others. I also really enjoyed that her backstory is more than the typical “we were friends, but you did something, and I hate you for it” villain backstory. She has many reasons to hold a grudge. No pets? I kinda pictured her with an evil crab thing or something, but I understand if you wanted to keep her alone. To be completely honest, I would love to see a story where the villain is the main character because I love Dara so much. With such a well rounded character, your story will be AMAZING!!!
Delta: I like that she isn’t your typical antagonist while you still stuck with the trademark antagonistic nature. You were able to show us where she got her looks in a way? By telling us that she has the wavy hair (which I always imagine beach hair to be) and that immediately allowed me to see the connection between her being a sea deity. I’m sorry that I don’t have much to say as you have really developed her character well.
Tallinn: I personally find Darya to be a wonderful antagonist due to the fact that she truly has a reason to be angry. It is obvious you have given her a lot of thought. However, I do believe that a majority of her nature is surrounding her emotions towards the new caretaker, and that it not necessarily a good thing. While this new caretaker may be part of her motive, I do recommend distancing certain aspects of her character from him in order to make her her own person. I would also recommend adding a few more mannerisms such as what she does when nervous, angry, etc

Happy writing!
-The Blue Duck Team

@Celestial-B

@blue Duck

Wow, thank you guys so much! I wasn't expecting so much positive feedback hah, it really made me quite happy you all liked the two so much. And your delay was no problem, I'm glad I got any feedback at all to be honest!

Again, thanks! I'll certainly fix the few things you all suggested.

@Crisis

Can you do my trio please?

Blue Duck

@Finn Sorry about the delay, but here you go!
Megumi:
Brooklynn: First of all, I am a fan of characters with jet black hair. I really like the idea of light blue eyes. I’m picturing more of an icy look, and (in my opinion) it goes really well with her character traits. It’s a nice break from the typical black hair and ocean blue eyes look. Not gonna lie, but a lot of your points contradict each other. I would highly recommend going back in, and revising some of our character traits. Not trying to sound like every single english teacher out there, but you need to expand. Right now, Meg is one of those background characters. Give her life and make her the star!
Delta: Something that I noticed is that you put her as being 5’7” however you said that she’s “very short”, and let me tell you I am very short and I am 5 feet tall. That just didn’t match. Brooklynn agrees, as she is only 4’11” ¾ (tbh we’re all really short). Another thing is that her weight drastically doesn’t match her height. Though you said she was skinny, this is too skinny to function. There’s a lot of contradictions in your character. I’m sorry about my harshness, however these are things that will make your character more realistic. I do like your story and that she is surviving the apocalypse with her brother, however I think you definitely should expand more on your history. How did her parents die? How did this affect her and her experience in the apocalypse? I’d love to see character background and how it affects how she behaves now.
Tallinn: I’m going to start by stating the fact that you need more in the backstory than what you have. At the moment you have the basics, but what happened in the past few months? Has she lost any friends or loved ones besides her parents? As well as I’m wondering what type of apocalypse this is and what started it? Is it a zombie apocalypse? If so has she had to ‘save’ anyone by killing them? Is the cause of the apocalypse climate change? Nuclear warfare? Is the apocalypse affecting only her part of the world or is it everything? What has she contributed to the civilization during/after the apocalypse? Also, what is her relationship with her brother? Do they fight? Are her and her brother a part of a group of people for survival? If so, what’s the dynamic in that group? How are they getting their food/supplies? How did she get that scar on her back? Was it a childhood accident? If so, how did that affect her? Was the wound deep enough to affect her spinal cord? Are there any lingering effects from the wound? Apologies for all the questions, however, it is important to expand on all of these points
Have fun writting!
-The Blue Duck Team

Blue Duck

Reminder to everyone who submitted a request for a critique and a drawing, please share your email with us so we can email you your drawing. There are a few of them who are done, but we need still need to finish a majority of them. If we have given you a critique already and not the drawing, please remind us!
-The Blue Duck Team

@SupernaturalSyGuyIsTIred group

Reminder to everyone who submitted a request for a critique and a drawing, please share your email with us so we can email you your drawing. There are a few of them who are done, but we need still need to finish a majority of them. If we have given you a critique already and not the drawing, please remind us!
-The Blue Duck Team

[email protected]

Blue Duck

@TheMusicalVampire

Here is your critique for Lucas. As for your drawing, when its finished, it will be uploaded to the Blue Duck Team Website. You can check it out here: https://sites.google.com/view/blueduckstudios/

Lucas Elise Rodger:
Brooklynn: First thing I would like to point out is that you created a male character that is not huge! I mean 5’5” isn’t super tall like all the other male book characters I’ve seen, so thank you. I also like the fact that he doesn’t have the perfect athletic body honed for battle. Its refreshing. I really like musical characters, but (being a musician myself), I would suggest not making him one of those characters that can just whip out a memorized seven page sonatina and play it perfectly. Add some scenes where he is practicing technique like scales or arpegios. Or maybe he’s struggling to perfect this one measure, but he keeps messing up. I would be careful when writing about someone with as many struggles that Lucas has. You don’t want him to become his illness. I liked how detailed the backstory is, and great job!
Delta: I do not know what this OC is for, however being completely honest, this made me kind of sad? This is nothing against your character, he just reminds me of one of the people I used to be friends with, a nostalgic feeling. Overall this character was very well developed. The fact that you gave him imperfections, while making him the main character is smart, though you may want to add a few positive things to the mix. Everybody has their problems, but everyone has good things too, which is important to remember. What about giving him just one person that he would protect over anyone? Like one of those characters that hates almost everybody but there’s that one person they would do anything to make smile? It may add some depth to him.
Tallinn: Okay, let’s start with the proportions on the body. If the character is slightly overweight, going off the 5’5 average weight for males of 122-150, being anywhere within that range would make them be of average weight, such as you put for him. If you would like him to be slightly overweight, I would go for 155-165. With that out of the way, lets get to what angers me about your backstory. No one can be ‘turned’ asexual, they can realize that they do not experience sexual attraction, therefore causing them to realize they are asexual, but,Luke obviously does experience sexual attraction,, seeing as you stated that in his backstory, so therefore he is not asexual. Same goes for being Aromantic. He may be repulsed by sexual acts at this moment, but he is not asexual, so thanks!!!!!! A question, what caused his depression? Because if it was his dog dying, let me say that this entire idea is mostly flawed and completely unrealistic. You may think I am being overly harsh towards your character, which is true, but the reason I am doing so is I really do not want mental illnesses being romanticized, which no offence, you are practically doing so. It is your choice whether you change it or not, but in my opinion, you should rework the most of the history and alter many of the mental illnesses since you are missing a myriad of factors when it comes to causation. If you would like to keep the illnesses, I recommend doing more research on them.

Happy Writing!!
-The Blue Duck Team