forum Tabloid/newspaper headlines for your characters

Started December 24, 2019 by @Young-Dusty-the-Monarch-of-Dusteria group

tune

I'm glad this is back.

Same.

Yet Another Attack by the Lake Lady

Admittedly in need of a new name, the Lake Lady has attacked yet another lakeside village. This is the eighth reported incident of mass destruction by this young fugitive. Witnesses claim that she emerged from the lake out of nowhere and started demolishing buildings. "It was bizarre, no one could stop her," one witness said, "I truly feared for my life." Luckily evacuation of the village saved anyone from gaining any severe injuries. They returned only to see their homes broken beyond repair. If you live near a river or lake consider taking precautions to defend yourselves, although there have been reports of her attacking villages more inland as well. Stay safe folks, and tune in next time for more news of the Lake Lady!

Local Guardsman "forgets that eating is an option" and keeps going for a solid week before collapsing
"In my defense I was very sleep-deprived at the time," says Nikita, 32, who was unavailable for further comment.

Boy, 19, believed dead, body now missing from local morgue
Oscar Wells, a 19 year old boy from Diamond, Massachusetts, was found dead 3 days ago, due to massive internal injuries and burns. Just this morning the head medical examiner, who would have performed an autopsy on the boy today, came into work to find the container open and the boy's body gone.

Man sets house on fire after his "wife" who's been locked in the attic for up to 16 years calls the police

Reporter: "Now on the scene, we have two witnesses, So how'd you feel about the events that unraveled tonight, little fellow"

Young Kage: "My mommy just died"

Reporter: Alright back to you Studio 9

Young Vampire Attacked By a Monster-Like Bear

A Cry For Help From a Damsel in Distress
Fire Rages In The Valley of Light. Can It Be Stopped?

The Ultimate Gods Return

A Dragon and His Keeper Discovered Dead in Cave

The Forgotten Country Will No Longer Be Forgotten After This

Local girl defeats most powerful underground organization by raw luck alone

Man heard talking to himself outside local library, warns witnesses away, claiming to be possessed by Lucifer

Six teenagers drafted into war, stop war by refusing to fight

Florida man stranded on a desert island hundreds of miles away from America strikes out for shore, says: "If man made it to the moon, I can swim back to Florida"

A series about the same event, about a few days apart from each other:
Police make monumental arrests: Five notorious criminals finally behind bars

Police staving off questions from the public about arrested five: Say interrogations are in progress

BREAKING: Insider at station reports that police are at their wit's end concerning arrested five

The Fearsome Fivesome: How they escaped…How their incongruent stories baffled police…How upon escape, they were heard screaming obscenities about each other

The Fearsome Fivesome: Do they even like each other?

Released transcripts of interrogations with the Fearsome Fivesome show how their chaotic stories baffled the police

Government places a teenage boy at the top of the FBI's most wanted with no explanation: What could he possibly have done?

Celebratory ball on Cearan to honor newly installed representative Lords
Many will gather in the metropolitan planet, Cearan's, newly built palace, equipped with large celebratory reception room for the business of Lords for the purpose of a celebration of instillation of newly appointed representative Lords. Reporters have said that Lord High Representative Archon himself will attend to lead the ceremony.
Interviewed was one of the newly appointed Lords, Kaiman Kiyaridari, a Kytarrian, who has been steadily rising in popularity to comment on the occasion. "It is high time," the man said. "Representatives from Kytarr have been found to be lacking at the tables of many interplanetary conventions. I am glad to be among the new Lords that will address this problem, especially considering the recent volatile political state of our planet." Kiyaridari then made a statement regarding his continual interest in the goodwill of not only his planet, but the entire solar system, expounding on his interest in the recent political changes that would be felt from the interplanetary missions of the next fifty years.
It is noted that each guest may bring one partner to the occasion, providing they have no criminal record.

Brooklyn teen reported missing.
Parents of Brooklyn teen, Elena Jaxon, reported their daughter missing to the NYPD three days ago after getting no response either by phone or any other communication system. Miss Jaxon, it turned out had not been seen at all for the past week it had seemed. Investigators went to her apartment and found that it had not been visited in days. Her roommate was contacted and charged with low-level marijuana possession. She apparently had no idea that Elena was missing and is not suspected of aiding in any kind of crime against the teen. Professors at Medgar Evers college said that Elena had not visited classes in several days. "She had started to not show up to class," said one Professor Rivera, "though she continued to turn in assignments online. No one knew the reason she was skipping class, but there were none who supposed anything nefarious was going on." A few students claim that she was seeing someone. "A scrawny type," said Thomas Martinez. "He had this dark hair and pale skin. He was also shorter than her." The youth in question has yet to be successfully contacted.
Police have yet to establish foul play, though it is advised that any who recognize the young man Elena was seen with contact authorities immediately.

Macey: SOME KID MANAGES TO (ALMOST) STOP A WAR THAT WOULD'VE ENDED THE BALANCE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE
Wayne and his siblings: THE FIRST FOUR REANIMATED CORPSES ARE STUPID, BUT LIKEABLE
Mitsuko: LESBIAN MANAGES TO STOP A MARRIGE BY COMPLETE CHANCE

MYSTERIOUS COLLEGE STUDENT DOES NOTHING
We watched him for quite a while but he seriously just sat there in the community garden until we got kicked out
ORANGE TABBY CAT VOTED CITY'S MOST HANDSOME MAN THIS YEAR
Cat's owner alleged to have said "Oh, he knows"
LOCAL NEWSPAPER ACCUSED OF CONTAINING UNIMPORTANT NONSENSE
We apologize, but literally nothing happens around here and we're getting desperate

MYSTERIOUS COLLEGE STUDENT DOES NOTHING
We watched him for quite a while but he seriously just sat there in the community garden until we got kicked out
ORANGE TABBY CAT VOTED CITY'S MOST HANDSOME MAN THIS YEAR
Cat's owner alleged to have said "Oh, he knows"
LOCAL NEWSPAPER ACCUSED OF CONTAINING UNIMPORTANT NONSENSE
We apologize, but literally nothing happens around here and we're getting desperate

rip journalists

Local Thief Discloses Identity
Renowned thief, formerly written of as 'the Ghost', sent in a Q&A today to the police department, including his name and address. Despite this information seeming valid, the police still haven't managed to get their hands on the elusive man, who says his name is John Clay.

Healer Responsible for Saving King Matthew Claims it Was "No Big Deal."
The Royal Family is attributing the sudden and unexpected recovery of the King to a healer identified only as Gerard, who Prince Kit met on his travels. When asked about his latest feat, all Gerard had to say was "I don't think it's that big of a deal, really. I was just doing my job."

Local pirate confirmed to be alive, despite claims."
One witness claimed that Crispin Hadley, who was thought to have been dead, told his father to "Fight me," despite being clearly injured. Allegedly, the two engaged in a brief brawl that was eventually broken up by the bartender.