Gabriel Brewer

YAMS (stage name)

A rapper with a lot of controversy surrounding his image.

30

Male

6'1"

120 lbs.

Thin and tall, mal-nourished (often goes a day or two at a time without eating: rarely hungry, and even when he is he doesn't really like the feel of food going down his throat).

Naturally nearly white, he dyes it a dirty blond.

Usually hidden under a newsboy cap/ snapback/ beanie.

Human; Caucasian

Albino

Light blue, if you squint.

Wears sunglasses indoors. Tattoos around chest and nape of neck, sleeves on both arms: they cover up old scars and burn marks.

Undiagnosed, but shows clear signs of Pervasive Developmental Disorder / "atypical autism".

An alcoholic and a drug addict, the longest he's been sober is two weeks at a time: he always falls back into old habits.

Will repeat words and phrases when he's frustrated, almost as a sort of mantra. Will rub at his nose with his forefinger, over and over, when he's nervous and can't find the right words, especially if he's feeling guilty about something.

Speaks in a scattered manner, often mixing words or slurring. His mouth seems unable, sometimes, to keep up with the speed of his thoughts. Throws around a lot of curse words and has sharpness to his tone. His voice becomes more monotonous on the rare occasion that he's relaxed or comfortable around someone.

Is basically nocturnal, there's no sunlight during the night after all, so you might catch him skulking around some gas station or park at 3 in the morning. Takes frequent smoke breaks, will pace around outside if he's restless, which is often. His eyes are skittish, and he has trouble looking someone head-on for too long, usually opting for their collarbone, their ear, or their chest. He plays with his own fingers constantly, if he has nothing else to fiddle with; tugs at the strands of his clothes or the zipper of his hoodie if nothing else.

Has no trouble smiling or laughing when he's genuinely pleased or finds something funny: you can find him in particularly happy moods around Felipe Alberto Moreno, and people are often surprised to see Gabriel with any sort of positive expression.

A good question. He has a hard time looking past the present, thinking about the future scares him. He's still looking for a reason to get out of bed at all, other than "hey mom will be back soon, guess I should keep the house clean or something".

A single, fuzzy hope of his is that five, ten, fifteen years from now, his mom will be okay, and that he might be okay, too.

"You do what you know, behavior is inherited and cyclical."

Doesn't believe anyone can be happy all the fucking time, hates when celebrities or other stars act like they don't have a care in the world, on- or off-camera.

HATES, fucking HATES performing live: he's gone on tour ONCE in his entire 6-year career, and in general his shows are very sought after because they happen so rarely. It's not that he can't actually rap live, it's that he hates the lights and flashing and the amount of people yelling at him, even if it's because they're having a good time. Hates award shows as well, hopes he can just stay in his seat until it's all over because no way can he get through a speech onstage.

Alcoholic. Druggie. Prone to angry outbursts, and even when he isn't angry, his voice will often rise in volume without him realizing it. It's sometimes hard to tell if he's excited about something, or working himself up into a rage, especially because he has a rambunctious and often offensive/politically incorrect sense of humor. He yells his encouragement in a manner that's not particularly encouraging; he states fact in an almost upset fashion, when he really he's probably quite excited that he actually knows something relevant.

Deep down knows that he needs help and wants it, but is too prideful to do anything about it. Very, very good at lying to himself, at trapping himself in a vortex of self-pity that, to him, feels safe: when you play the victim, you rid yourself of responsibility, and Gabriel doesn't know how to help himself, doesn't know how to take control of himself long enough to have any lasting positive effect. He seems to give up quickly, because he has an experience of fruitless results even when he does persevere and keep trying, and it's gotten to a point where he just. He just can't anymore, he's so tired and angry.

Rapping, songwriting. Movie trivia.
Fluent in ASL (to communicate with his mom).
Has been known to ward people off with nothing but a look.

SUCH a big fan of older cinema, good horror movies, classics that have aged well: he loves consuming and criticizing, while genuinely enjoying, these older movies.
Likes to read, especially science-fiction; his first real job was at a book store and he LOVES physical books, everything about them.
Will occasionally binge the latest of RuPaul's Drag Race (but has a lot to say about reality TV and it ain't good).

At his core, Gabriel is one of those decent people who took ten too many bad hits and now he's messed up. Those who get close to him have no doubt of his humanity, however this is a rare and difficult task, as Gabriel is unlikable in a myriad of ways. He's easy to rile up, gets defensive quickly, and always needs to get the last word in. Finds it almost,,, alien, when people don't want to fight him, when they roll over and let him win: it pisses him off even, because he feels he hasn't earned the victory. An ideal confidant would be able to deal with the constant back-and-forth, with insults that are only ever spoken in anger and empty when aimed at them, because Gabriel isn't angry at them, goddamn it.

He's really quite lonely. He's always surprised when someone starts a conversation with him, and always very suspicious of their intentions. He's excited to share things he knows, especially random facts that he feels, in the moment, are relevant to the conversation: but he tends to scare people off with his loud and aggressive delivery, as well as the randomness of his statements sometimes, contrary to his own judgement of the situation. The way Gabriel sees it, he drives people away even when he's trying, really trying, to be civil and invested in the interaction, and the constant repetition of this makes him more and more reluctant to not simply lash out at people when they so much as greet him.

Likes to sleep, to dream, to be under the influence of something that distorts reality into a place where everything is okay and where he's okay.

Rapper. Complicated and fast-paced lyrics, puns and word play and HURT, so much pain stuffed into every song, songs that frequently resonate with angry teens and young adults and traumatized individuals.

Has a lot of scandals under his belt, mostly having to do with violent outbursts on-camera and scathing remarks thrown at other people, as well as being the subject of quite a few deadly rumors (true and false ones).

Would take forever to admit he's pretty liberal.

His lil' library: all second-hand books that he keeps in an overflowing cabinet in his room, worn not just from being second-hand but from how often he's read all of them. Includes all his favorites (Catcher In The Rye, Flowers For Algernon, Harry Potter, Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, etc).

White alligator, relatable.

May 29. Gemini.

Public high school (ditched a LOT though, so it's doubtful he actually learned much). He actually never graduated properly.

Grew up in Pensacola, Florida, in a rural neighborhood.
His mom used to take him to drag queen shows every month or so, when they could afford it, just a couple of blocks from their apartment: these trips make up some of the happiest of Gabriel's childhood memories.

That being said, Gabriel got plenty of the short ends of sticks. Growing up he got shit for being albino; his mom worked overtime despite marrying a guy in hopes of being able to support herself and her son; his step-dad was unemployed and abusive, and the only reason Gabriel usually didn't get hurt was because his mom always took the hit for him, and for a while growing up Gabriel didn't understand why his mom shrunk back when being yelled at.

She helped apply concealer to his face the first time he got beat, the first time she wasn't able to protect him.

At 14 Gabriel's step-father burned his arm with a cigarette in 4 different places for stealing cash from his wallet (which Gabriel's mom had made at work, anyway). Mom found out and, in a blind rage, fought back, only to end up in the hospital.

Mom stopped talking.

Gabriel chose to be homeless for several years, rather than live with his step-dad, but by consequence be apart from his mom. (His favorite haunt was the main library branch, where he would spend most days inside razing through books, to distract himself from how hungry he was or how cold he was or how alone his mom probably was.)

When Gabriel was 23, Mom went to prison for being in possession of drugs that were actually her husband's. She's currently finishing up the last year of her sentence.

--

Above all, Gabriel wanted recognition when he stepped into that production booth with the poor woman who'd been desperate and without a job at the time and who is now his manager. He'd thought "fuck it" because what was he gonna do, hang around the library until he died from sleeping out in the harsh winter? He's never wanted to just die, not alone and as a nobody, not a washed up addict with a mind full of words and ghastly pain and a mother who wouldn't even have him to land on when she would be released. He didn't think he'd make it this far and he's not even sure he's happy about it, having to create more rather than create well and having to mingle with cameras and people he doesn't like.

All his jokes are cries for help :-) :-) :-)

Till I Collapse by Eminem
Marmalade by Macklemore ft. Lil Yachty
Don't Let Me Get Me by P!nk
I Think I'm OKAY by Machine-Gun Kelly and YUNGBLUD
Sober - Demi Lovato

?straight??????? what's romance? who would sleep with this guy??? hell he's not even into that, hasn't had sex in a good seven years and isn't open to starting again.

• Prescribed reading glasses off-set. Colored contact lenses sometimes to block light transmission when filming outside.


• Print t-shirts, especially creepy/horror-themed ones, black jeans, black hoodies, black combat boots


• Shirts with sleeves ripped off, jeans with rips and holes, belt in the loops but unbuckled. Anything baggy, really, he doesn't like showing how skinny his torso is.


• Cargo pants and shorts, chains hanging from belt loops simply for aesthetic purposes, chain necklaces, a single ring on his right thumb.