forum Another 'Pass the Story!' Have fun!

Started January 15, 2018 by @Astrid

tune

Several decades later, we made it out of the wormhole we had been sucked into. (Did I forget to mention that? There was a wormhole closing in on us. Honestly, it's so hard to keep track of everything when there are memes bursting in at random).

Up ahead, I sighted a large neon sign that blinked the word "PASTA" in bright fluorescent pink.

"There!" I said, pointing. "Pasta!" That addition to my exclamation gained the attention of both Tom and Shrek, who had been previously ignoring me to my irritation.

"Pasta?" Tom not-Cruise repeated, peering through the window.

"Look," I said, pointing the sign out to him.

His eyes immediately brightened upon seeing it. "I haven't eaten in sixty years," he said, voice low with awe. "Paxi!" he called. "What's that planet up ahead?"

Paxi glanced up from her phone, where she had been obsessively playing Candy Crush for the last 2.5 decades. "Moodoir," she said.

"What's on it?" He asked.

"Running analysis," Paxi said, swivelling in her chair and pressing a series of buttons. The result appeared on the screen in front of her, all sorts of graphs and statistics and random little factoids. "Um….it's mostly populated by mutant cows?" She said, though it sounded like more of a question than a statement. "And also, uh…memes."

"Memes?" Tom's smile grew ever more.

"Oh god," I sighed. "Here we go."

(In case you can't see where I'm going with this, the pasta restaurant and the memes, I was hoping to introduce the "somebody toucha my spaghet" meme to our cast if y'all are down with that).

(im down with that!)
We landed and before Paxi even had it in park, I burst out the pod into the parking lot, drooling madly. Tom hopped out beside me, screaming some random stuff to summon some meme peeps.
"Tom," Melvin sighed, rubbing his ears. "Can you not?"
"NO!" Tom turned to Melvin frantically, his eyes wild. "I must find them!"
Paxi waddled out of the pod Shrek behind her. "It's been a long time Thomas, i'm sure all the memes you knew are dead."
"The memes never die!" He hissed.
"Guys, stop bickering, we need PASTA!!" I screamed.

Shrek looked grim. "It's right," he said. "We need pasta."

Ignoring the fact that I had no idea why Shrek looked so serious and that it was probably important to the plot, I focused instead on one of the minute details of his wording.

"Excuse me," I hissed, "did you just call me an it?"

"You've been excused," Shrek said, still deadpan.

I gasped, hand over my heart in mock outrage. Tom sniggered.

"Tom, stop sniggering!!" I screamed.
"Sniggering…?"
I ran to the door and smashed it open. "Table for six please!"

It was there- bathed, in intoxicatingly romantic restaurant light, that I saw a man… he was a simple fellow- but his eyes were brim full of wonder. He stumbled towards me, and hunched forward in his normal stance. Leaning on his knuckles, he gazed in my soft eyes, and his lips parted.

"Do u no duh way?" He breathed. Shadows whisked across his soft features; his misaligned eyes, his pouty lips, a gently crease underneath his right eye… I choked. Was this love? O.r… something more? Deep down inside, something sparked. A deep, boiling passion that swelled; as though the very of my ocean arched from it's chilliest depths to be cascaded in it's outer warmth. A bursting passion- an explosion in slow motion… yet, my body remained at the mercy of it's brute force.

I wobbled, and blinked to regain my focus.
"I… yes. I would like a table for six. Six," I stammered. My tone had softened noticably, and I faltered. The edge I once had was dulled to the very softest of feather. His eyes wandered from my face, down to my neck rolls, skimming down to the floor. A silence followed- and I crawled viciously underneath my skin.
"I–"
"Do u kno duh wae?" He murmured once more. His eyes flashed back to meet mine, and pierced my heart. His irises were completely black , dull… beautiful. Like giant, dilated pupils.
"D-uh way? Well, perhaps… way to where?" I faltered

"You must have Ebola, to kno duh wae!" He rasped.

"I–"

Tom slammed his fist on the counter, the bang echoing throughout the place. The UK looked up alarmed.
Wait…
Did i just check out a UK?