forum Asexuality and Aromanticism
Started by @berlioz
tune

people_alt 94 followers

Deleted user

So to what extent are sex repulsed, negative and averse attitudes directly associated with being asexual or aromantic?

@Cadeverek group

Many times us sex-repulsed aces don't feel sexual attraction BECAUSE of our repulse. The opposite is also common, some can be repulsed/averse/negative due to not feeling the attraction (I say this because some people can be repulsed and still feel sexual attraction, so it does go both ways! For example, I hate touch overall and yet I very much crave physical closure (in a hugging and holding hands kind of sense btw) so I figure that, in the same way I can be repulsed yet crave something, other people can be sex negative/repulsed and still have the attraction. In fact, I think the term is lithosexual/akoisexual, for feeling the attraction but not wanting it returned and orchidsexual for having attraction but not desiring the act).

I'm not aromantic though, so I won't speak on that matter, but from the ace side that's pretty much it! At least for me my attitude towards sex and my sexuality directly correlate, the way I found out I was asexual was because I was sex-repulsed. Plus, this has nothing to do with trauma, I myself don't have sexual trauma and yet I am sex repulsed regardless!

@Becfromthedead group

And on the flip side, not all people on the asexual spectrum are sex repulsed or have negative attitudes towards having sex themselves. They may just be indifferent to it, and some are even receptive to it if it's what a partner wants. The experience can still be pleasurable, even if you don't actively have that attraction/desire.
So there's correlation between sex repulsion and asexuality, but it's not a cornerstone to being ace, and like Wykie said, not all people who are repulsed identify as ace. Some aces still have a libido, find people attractive under the right conditions, or are willing to have sex with a partner even if they aren't sexually attracted per se. Some aces are completely repulsed by the idea, but some are fine with other physical contact (kissing, hand holding, etc). And some people who are repulsed may not be ace at all; trauma, poor experiences, etc can all lead to someone feeling repulsed by the idea of sex, while still experiencing attraction towards others.

Also cannot speak on aromanticism, but I hope this helps a bit!