forum I'm willing to critique characters and stuff!

Started February 04, 2018 by @childoftheuniverse

tune

Yayyyyy!! we can PM if you want, or if you have a discord we can use that to to make it easier

also i absolutely love that song!!

I've got a discord, so we can totally use that https://discordapp.com/channels/409572018686656512/409572018686656514

And it's a great song right? Originally, quite a few of my stories i would take one of my favorite songs, some characters and write a story using the song. i'd actually incorporate the song into the story as well, putting lyrics where i'm referring to them in the story itself. however, my friend says that's too jarring, sooooo.

Cownt - Cownt
Emalia - Emalia Merrick
:) Critique if you get a chance

Story: Crazy Jane

Character that I've fleshed out the most: "Crazy" Jane Murphy

MeadowofSilence
here's Audra!!
What do you mean she's a villain and a hero? Have you just not decided yet?
I like that you put where the scars are from.
Honestly, I can't find anything else wrong with this…Shes amazing dude!
Just explain the contradictory villain/hero thing and you'll be set! A great back story too.
:)

For James:
He's also a villain/hero?
What's the birthmark look like?
I don't see sensitivity as a flaw…maybe be more specific about what he's sensitive about?
Ohhh I can kinda see where the plot is going!! Once again a flawless character and I'd really love to see these characters interact with each other!!

Last but not least, Syncore!!
This is my favorite character by far!!
He's so angry it's great.
By high education did you mean high school? Or he's just very well educated?
Also wow on the backstory…
You have absolutely nothing to worry about your prejudices are fine!!
Hope this helped at least a little! :)

and Luna; here's Alexa (A little late I'm sorry :( )
Does she ever make her eyes two different colors? Like one brown and one blue? That would be cool.
Spot on mannerisms dude. Top notch. You've got the reasons and everything!
You gotta put some prejudices in there!!
Again, good with the description of the Myers-Briggs
What exactly does she want to be?
I would beef the background up a little bit, but that's just me.
Hope this helps :)

Alrighty, Aj buckle your seatbelt because I'm about to shower you with compliments on your story idea.
Amazing. This is totally something I could see many different ages reading, and I can already get a sense of your writing style from it!!
Now for Crazy Jane herself:
What exactly would you consider a bright gray?
On point with the identifying marks. I love her already.
In the mannerisms, I noticed that she flicks a knife. Would she be allowed to have one in the school? I mean seeing the character so far I can see how she ould be able to sneak one in but its something to think about.
Love the prejudice. It makes perfect sense.
so do you think she is just an extremely intelligent kid who became a behavior problem because she wasn't being challenged enough? That's the vibe I'm getting from her.
Also, did you draw the picture yourself? If you did thats pretty awesome.
Hope I helped you out a bit!! :)

Ok now Reiko im gonna do Cownt first. (interesting name I like it)
ITS A COW I LOVE HER
YOU GAVE HER A PERSONALITY TYPE WOW
you are officially one of my favorite people now thank you.
everything just says cow.
I love her she is my child.
Thank you

Now for Emalia:
But what does the birthmark look like? It has to have some kind of shape!
spot on flaws. spot. on.
She takes care…of the cow…yes.
Aww my best friend is an ENFP
I love her too. They are my children.
Hope i helped out a little, but when characters are already this perfect theres not much I can say… :)

Ok i am back to tell you Reiko that Cownts favorite color should be moo-ave

@childoftheuniverse
James and Audra both start out as villains then convert to good later.
Sycore doesn't remember his past but, he's extremely intelligent. I forgot to fix that. T-T
I see sensitivity as a flaw because he takes everything to heart, even if it's just a misunderstanding. An example I have is.

"So, why did the picture go to jail?" He asked Audra smirking.
I stayed silent, I really don't like his puns. Hunter didn't look amused at all.
Audra sighed. "Why."
"Because it was framed!"
She rolled her eyes.
"Aww, come on, I know you love it!"
"I don't."
I saw it but, it was only there for a second. A face of pain. I blinked and it was gone. His face was all lit up again.
"Ha, I was just joking."
"Yeah, you were," Megan replied.

His birthmark looks like a normal birthmark, a weird blob. It doesn't have much importance until Hunter sees it and realizes it's him.

Ohhh ok thank you!! You're a great writer!!

No thank you for the compliment. I'm quite new to it and I've only been working on it for a year or so.
I'm going to be updating Sycore in a little because I just had a great idea for a new character. So keep an eye out for that.

Oh wow! And do show me when you're done!!!

Okay, he's done.It's not a very big update, just a reference to my new character
If you want you can check out my new character. She's not very fleshed out I was just doing my chores when I found out what I should call her and do with her.
Diami: Invalid Character

Ok I'll do that now!!

I dont know what the thing in flaws means

But I still love them!!

I would like you to critique some of my characters,but I do not know how to send the link.

It means Work In Progress.

@Natasha
Go to your character. Below the picture, there's an icon with lines with dots. Click that and switch the switch to public. Copy and paste the link onto here.

I would love to!!