forum ame’s art and writing dump (or: ame’s one and only coping mechanism)

Started October 28, 2023 by @the-void-phantasmic language

tune

you had a heart you hadn’t felt. (why would it hurt me? or was it real?)

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title from Isle Unto Thyself - Miracle Musical

I had like 4 whole ass paragraphs when I started this and it refreshed I’m going to commit a Soub and stab someone in the face.

This took like several days to finish but fuck it we ball

Mind cries⁉️ (Not clickbait)

Also there’s a chicken named Darrell, fuck yeah

COME GET Y’ALL JUICE!! 🗣

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desiderium - n. a feeling of loss or grief for something lost.

Mind had always wished for the house to be quiet, free from Heart’s wiles and woes. But now that his wish had been fulfilled, he feels incomplete without his emotional half. It’s taken a bit of a toll on him, though he’d never admit it himself. He finds himself without the will to get up one morning, and it goes downhill from there.

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Mind woke up to blinding sunbeams shining through his window, directly into his eyes. Groggily, he raised up his arm to block the light from the window, his eyes now open and squinting. He blinked a few times to adjust to the light, and he was left utterly confused after fully processing his surroundings. Why was it already so bright out? Mind normally woke up around sunrise, and he wasn’t ever this far off. Why had he slept in? He had no reason to. He should get up.

Instead of doing that, however, Mind simply rolled over onto his other side, letting his arm dangle off of the edge of the bed. He stared blankly at the wall across from him. For some reason, Mind wanted to go back to sleep, which was extremely illogical. He had already gotten far more sleep than he needed, and he still wanted more? His brows furrowed slightly, he was telling himself to get out of bed, but his body wouldn’t listen. Why?

He was just being lazy, that was it. Lazy and pathetic, just like Heart. Surely, that would motivate him, but it didn’t. He just sunk deeper into the mattress, somehow. The hollow pit in his stomach grew larger as the seconds ticked by. Eventually, he just shut his eyes again. It wouldn’t hurt too much to rest his eyes for a moment, right..?

Wrong. About an hour passed, and Mind jolted awake again. Of course he had fallen back asleep. As he glowered at the wall, he came to notice something. It was completely silent. Of course, it had been that way for a while after Heart was imprisoned, but now it was an eerie silence. It felt wrong. Heart’s absence felt incredibly wrong.

But they deserved that punishment. They tried to kill Mind. But Soul’s punishment for the emotional half still felt unjust, somehow. Mind still remembered that vividly, watching Soul blind Heart. He felt an unfamiliar pinprick of pain at the memory. That moment was never pleasant to think about. Hearts screams still rang vividly in his ears, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever stop hearing them.

Mind found himself incredibly tense, blinking rapidly as his eyes started stinging. With tears? No, that was impossible. Mind was the emotionless one, he couldn’t cry. He shut his eyes a bit more forcefully than he had intended, fighting back the sting. But it was persistent, and it only gave Mind a headache.

Fuck. Was this how Heart had always felt?

And why was this feeling suddenly afflicting Mind?

. . . Maybe he had been a bit too harsh on Heart.

Mind took a few deep breaths, guilt now stacked on top of his other feelings. All of them completely meaningless, surely. Everything that happened was Heart’s own fault, for being an irrational little child. Even if Mind was the one to constantly berate Heart for it, they deserved it. At least, that’s what Mind tried to convince himself of. But he knew better.

Maybe things would be different, if Mind had ever bothered to try and listen to Heart, even if he didn’t understand the way they acted.

A short sob had escaped Mind, making his voice modulator crackle. He quickly turned the modulator off, before Soul had the chance to walk by and hear. Mind gritted his teeth, then broke down into more silent, pathetic sobbing, tears now flowing freely from his eyes.

—

Soul walked down the hallway towards Mind’s room, carrying Darrell in his arm as he did. He wasn’t all too worried about Mind sleeping in, because lord knows he needed it. Soul couldn’t remember the last time Mind had gotten a full night of sleep. But, unfortunately, Soul did still have to force him to eat something.

So here he was, in front of Mind’s door, holding a chicken. Soul had already been holding Darrell when he decided to check on Mind, and didn’t bother to put the chicken down. He raised his hand and knocked on Mind’s door.

“Mind? You might wanna wake up. It’s, like, almost noon.”

. . .

“Mind?”

No response. Mind must have been out cold. Soul waited a few moments, then shrugged. Guess he’d have to just walk in.

Soul slowly turned the doorknob, opening Mind’s door just a crack.

“Hellooo?”

Soul’s eyes landed on Mind, still in his bed, as Soul predicted. What he didn’t predict, however, was to see Mind. . . crying? Soul tilted his head, and Darrell mimicked the gesture, letting out a small bluck. Even the chicken was confused. Soul slowly walked towards Mind.

Mind looked up at Soul, glaring daggers at him. He wanted to tell him to get out, but he had his modulator off, and didn’t plan to turn it back on anytime soon. So instead, he hoped a look would do the trick. Needless to say, it did not, as Soul just sat on the edge of the bed near Mind, sighing.

“Didn’t expect to see this today,” Soul said. He absentmindedly ran a hand through Darrell’s feathers, staring at the ground for a moment before glancing up at Mind. “Do you. . . wanna talk about it?” Immediately after Soul asked, Mind hurriedly shook his head. Alright, then.

Silence. Soul gently set Darrell on the ground, letting him mill about.

Suddenly, Soul grabbed Mind’s arms, pulling him up to a sitting position beside him. Before the taller third could react, Soul wrapped him in a tight hug, which was the best comfort that he could think of. Mind froze, staring at Soul with a mix of shock and confusion. Physical contact was never something Mind enjoyed or engaged in, but he didn’t pull away, which was something.

After a second or two, though, Mind pushed Soul off of him, leaning away slightly. He silently turned away from Soul, wiping tears from his eyes. At least he stopped crying. Soul blinked, then stood up and stepped away from Mind.

“Uh. . . I’ll just leave you alone, then.”

After getting no response, verbal or physical, Soul picked up Darrell and walked out of Mind’s room, shutting the door behind him. Mind would come out when he was ready. Soul leaned against the door for a bit, thinking. It was a reach, but maybe he was upset about Heart. Sure, those two hated each other, but Soul knew Hearts absence had been affecting them both negatively, and Heart and Mind were a lot closer than Soul would ever be to either of them.

Eh, he’s figure that out later. There wasn’t any point in dwelling on it, Heart still had plenty of time to spend in Apathy. Soul didn’t see them learning their lesson anytime soon.

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Oopsies sorry this was shit towards the end but uhhh yippee!!

I’m bored. I’m really sad and anxious about various things. I also might be sick. And I’m tired as fuck. I want to talk about my sillies. So I’m just posting some headcanons and stuff for Heart, Mind and Soul. Feel free to ask questions about the characters and world as well, though I won’t guarantee I’ll be able to answer all of them.

Btw when I say “blots” that’s just the collective I use for Heart, Mind, and Soul, also they all have a lot of nicknames, which I’ll have at the first bullet point

ALSO IM NOT SHIPPING THEM THEY ARE SIBLINGS FIGHT ME

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Heart

• Artemis is used in the way that you would use someone’s full name. Juno is an old childhood nickname from Mind that had become a bitter one leading up to the incident. Moon and Moonlight are both affectionate nicknames used by both Soul and Mind a while after Heart returned from Apathy.
• Heart is the shortest, only being 5’3.
• Hear is left-handed.
• Depending on the state of the Whole, each of the blots can have their own negative reactions to sudden drops in his mental or physical state. Heart suffers with heartaches and heart palpitations.
• Heart loves physical affection, but finds themselves a bit afraid of asking for it due to the others not liking it as much. They have developed a few self-comforting habits to combat this.
• Heart has way too many plushies.
• After Apathy, Heart has a sense of light perception, but that’s about it. And they’re highly sensitive to light, anyway.
• Heart’s body temperature is very warm on average.

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Mind

• Both Apollo and Helios are used as full names. The only other nickname Mind has is Sunshine, a name given to him by Heart that started off derogatory but slowly became an affectionate name.
• Mind is the tallest, being 6’4. Yes, Heart has been used as an armrest several times.
• Mind is right-handed.
• During a sudden drop in the Whole’s state, Mind can suffer from headaches and migraines.
• Mind doesn’t like physical contact of any form very much, but that won’t stop him from letting Heart be physically affectionate when they need to. Sometimes he even initiates it if he knows Heart is in a bad mood.
• The crown that Mind wears was made for him by Heart when they were younger, using blue construction paper taped together.
• Since he had to get a modulator, Mind hasn’t liked talking much. It’s physically uncomfortable, and he still is unnerved by the sound of his own voice.
• Mind is naturally almost freezing cold. Woah.

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Soul

• Atlas is used as a full name for Soul. Jupiter is rarely, if ever, used. Star is an affectionate nickname mainly used by Heart.
• Atlas is 5’10. He’s not that special tbh.
• Soul is ambidextrous.
• During a sudden drop in the Whole’s state, Soul can suffer from extreme lethargy and nausea.
• Soul is indifferent about physical contact, he won’t initiate anything but he won’t argue either. Unless he’s dealing with nausea, then stay away from him.
• Soul has a pet chicken named Darrell. Mind hates that chicken with every fiber of his being. Soul could not give two shits what Mind thinks.
• Soul is a tad bit addicted to monster energy drinks.
• Soul has a normal body temperature, surprisingly. He’s a bit cold, but not nearly as cold as Mind.

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Again feel free to ask whatever you want about these idiots, lol

Alright so I have a pretty major update………

I’ve just signed up for an AO3 account, so I can post my fanfiction somewhere that’s more fit for that, lmao. I’m due to receive the invite around February 10, so up until that point I’ll continue posting whatever I write here. After I receive the invite and make an account, however, I’ll be cross-posting my best works from here over to AO3, and primarily posting there, which includes headcanons and lore dumps.

The main reason for this is that it’s much better for posting content for my more obscure fandoms, as well as multi-chapter content, which I plan on making a bit more of in the future. I’ll also be organizing most of my H/M/S AU content there.

I am, however, planning to post sneak peeks, votes, and other exclusive (?) content for my AO3 works onto this thread when the time comes, so you guys still get something unique to Notebook :)

Thanks for staying with me through this bumpy writing journey, and I hope to see you all on AO3 when I receive my account! I’ll be sure to post my info when I have it ^^

Special thanks to Echo for making me an alt email to sign up with!!

Small teaser for a series I’m planning for AO3,,, teehee

Basically it’s a Spider-Verse AU, but with OCs. And Heart, Mind, and Soul. oops.

Also it’s a chatfic hehe

Uh here’s the usernames guide so y’all aren’t lost lmao….. not all of these characters are in this particular blurb!! It’s just an overall guide I plan on putting at the beginning of each chapter :p

CW Chonny Jash reference 😱‼️ Also Fanta is a nickname for Phantom lol.

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Spider-Verse characters -

Miguel - Glowstick
Peter B. - 🅱️eter
Gwen - Gwanda
Miles - og anomaly
Hobie - punk‼️
Pavitr - Pav
Peni - Peni
Noir - color
Jess - Spider-Mom
Miles-42 - Kilometers

Spider-Verse OCs -

Phantom - ghostie
Glitch - Error 404
Jasper - walmart prowler
Kiera - smol
Dante - tol

H/M/S -

Heart - Artemis S., later Moonbeam
Mind - Apollo S., later Sunshine
Soul - Atlas S., later Starlight

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Spider-Society Chat

Lyla added Apollo S., Artemis S., and Atlas S.

Lyla: Have fun!

Glowstick: Oh.

Atlas S.: (with intention to rizz) wassup bbgs bites lip

Apollo S.: Please never speak again.

Atlas S.: fuck you

og anomaly: yo ain’t these the funky space spideys

Error 404: omg hello new people

🅱️eter: Oh hello

punk‼️: naw mates tryna rizz us up immediately

Kilometers: hell yeah more problems

Gwanda: I bet Atlas can rizz better than Miles

og anomaly: rude???

Atlas S.: you bet I can

Artemis S.: uh hi? what is the purpose of this

ghostie: oh damn

Glowstick: Well, it’s supposed to be a work chat, but these idiots hijacked it a long time ago.

punk‼️: man fuck u

ghostie: what hobie said fr fr

Error 404: Fanta,

ghostie: 👁👁

walmart prowler: nah cuz you know what their color scheme reminds me of?!?!?

og anomaly: Jasper not this again

walmart prowler: FUCK OFF

Atlas S.: wait before we go any further

Atlas S. changed their name to Starlight

Artemis S. changed their name to Moonbeam

Moonbeam: teehee

Apollo S.: Do I have to?

Starlight: yes or I kill you

Apollo S.: Doubtful. But fine.

Apollo S. changed their name to Sunshine

walmart prowler: MILES THEY HAVE THE SPACE THINGS TOO. COME ON.

og anomaly: ok fair

punk‼️: is jasper goin on one of her rants abt that Aussie again

Starlight: I know an Aussie

Moonbeam: several actually

walmart prowler: damn rly

Sunshine: Yeah. Us. We’re Australian.

walmart prowler: MILES

og anomaly: I completely get it now

punk‼️: I don……

Starlight: yeah what are u going on abt

Reference -

My drawing -

ALRIGHT Y’ALL I GOT MY AO3 ACCOUNT

My user is the_void_galactic and uhm yeah
I’m so excited???

Hey y’all, remember that hunger games thing I started writing here?

Yeah I’m rewriting it now, as an AO3 fic. I have a pretty solid plan I just need to actually do things (which I am working on rn.)

It’s gonna take a long time for me to start having a regular update schedule and stuff but I did post the pilot chapter if anyone’s interested. The pilot isn’t beta read since it’s just a test run of the fic (it still counts as a canonical first chapter however), but the rest of the fic is gonna be beta read by Echo (THANKS BESTIE! <3)

Wtf is this bitch yapping about, here’s the fic if anyone cares

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53903431