forum well wow apparently gods exist (Closed//Stalkers Enabled)

Started August 11, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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(when she says he's a bad lier and believes his only lie yet)

Havenwood grunted gently and continued limping along, his legs really starting to give out.

(you literally said he lied deftly)
"Come on, you need more support." Elise swung his arm around her shoulder and walked with him, balancing out his legs. "We're almost there, I think."

(I didn't say he lied on either another occasion. She's just an idiot. If he were lying… I would've said so. Don't wanna be sassy… but that's what I do. That's how people write.)

Havenwood shook her off. "I'm fine."

(bring it down a notch yo.)
Elise looked to him with concern in her eyes. "Why do you keep shaking me off?"

(Sorry xD)

Havenwood tossed his head. "Because I'm okay by walking on my own, thanks." That was clearly a lie. By the looks of it, one of his legs was about to buckle.

"Fine." That's a lie. I'll wait here and let Conscience take over and you fall half a mile away and not be able to get back up. If that's what you want, fine." And she sat. I was summoned?
Conscience, I was being sarcastic…
Not anymore.

Havenwood ignored her, limping on determinedly.
Good, good, crooned Perfection, just leave the girl. Every good God keeps a mortal under him~!

What was that?
What was that?
You don't know either, Conscience?
For the last friggin time, I am you. No, I don't know.
Well then-
Who are you?

Havenwood sighed irritably. Come on, Elise.

You want me over there? I thought you were just fine without me, huh?
Finally, another viewpoint!
Shut up, Conscience.

Perfection gasped. Ahh, Conscience, huh? That's what her dumbass named you?
Oh my god all of you SHUT UP!

It was like everything had frozen. Even the air around them was still, trembling with static. I'm sorry, Havenwood.

Havenwood shook his head, feeling hazy and weak. Below him, his legs trembled.
Elise… please… catch me…
His legs buckled and he fell like a stone as Perfection's mocking laugh rang in his ears.

Oh god. Elise ran to the spot. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Can't make up your mind, can you?
Now's not the TIME, Conscience!

Havenwood had passed out, his head was jutted out weird and his breathing was fast. His face was also pale and sweaty.

"Oh god. Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh god. Um. Stay here, love." Her voice cracked as she got up and ran to the river to get water.

By the looks of it, Havenwood wasn't going anywhere.

(it's so awkward when your character isn't doing anything and you have no action or dialogue)
Elise scooped up water in her hands and walked carefully back to Havenwood, dribbling it onto his face and mouth. Wake up!
Talk about bipolar behavior…a couple minutes ago you were about to leave him. If you want to be successful you have to make good plans and go through with them.
I like this one, Conscience, so shut up.

(I don't mind it.)

Havenwood didn't stir. Like, at all.

Elise growled something under her breath and removed her jacket, wrapping it tightly around his bleeding back. Leaning him up against a tree trunk, all she could do was wait and be tormented by Conscience.

(uh ok)
I don't know what to do. I don't suppose you'll be helping me?
Neither do I, kid. Are you going to leave him to die?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Bipolar behavior…
UGH!
Elise hid her head in her hands, hopeless. She began to cry. Was this really happening?

There was a patter of footsteps from nearby. Fast, tiny ones, yet still human.
A God? Conscience asked (sorry I stole her).