Morrigan hated herself for being so weak, hated herself for not being able to save Ace, hated herself for making so much work for Lucian. She pulled away, clearing her through and wiping her red-rimmed eyes. “Sorry for giving you so much work. I shouldn’t have listened to the sirens.”
“Morrigan, you shouldn’t be sorry. It’s my job to help out, and I love my job. And I’ve heard that it’s almost impossible to resist the sirens, I don’t blame you,” Lucian said, holding her hands instead, now.
(I gtg)
“But part of it wasn’t the sirens beckoning. Part of it was me, wanting to jump.” She averted her eyes.
(I’m back!)
(Anyone on? Stupid Application Error is up again)
(Hi! I'm still unconscious.)
Hi lol)
(How are my dream sequences?)
(Very interesting!)
(They look great, and this site is acting up for me too.)
Lucian frowned softly. “Don’t ever try to do anything like that again. Ever,” He said, trying to sound serious.
“I’ve tried to stop. It’s been like this since I was ten.” Morrigan still wouldn’t look him in the eye, and her hands were gripping his tightly.
“Jesus Christ.. I knew you were mentally upset, but I didn’t know that it was this bad..” Lucian said softly, his jaw clenching.
“It’s not that bad any more.”, she told him in a hushed tone, gluing her eyes to their intertwined hands so that she wouldn’t have to look him in the eye. “It was much worse before I joined the crew.”
“Even if it’s not as bad as before, it’s still an issue,” Lucian responded, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.
“But there isn’t really anything I can do to make it better. Whenever it gets better, it’s because if someone else. I’m the problem here, I can’t help myself.” She chewed on her bloody lip, adjusting her hands so that she could make sure that her broken nails weren’t hurting Lucian.
“It gets better because of others? You know I’m going to help in any way that I can,” Lucian said, still holding her gaze, even if she wouldn’t look at him.
“I guess. You’re already helping a lot. You— you’re probably the only reason I’m still alive.” Morrigan admitted the last part in a low whisper. She knew she could trust him with the truth.
Lucian felt a clenching in his throat and he smiled faintly, nodding slowly. “I’m glad you opened up to me about this,” he responded, giving her hand a squeeze.
Morrigan stayed silent, eyes tracing the wrinkles in the hospital bed sheets below her. Her shoulders were tense.
Lucian sighed softly, rubbing up and down her arm gently with his free hand. “Anything else on your mind?”
“You—You shouldn’t be touching me. I don’t know if I’m cured yet.” She cleared her throat. “Not that I don’t want you to, but…” Morrigan blinked a few times as if to clear her head. “And I’m just…….. worried about docking in Anjou.”
“I trust Kameo enough to know that it will work.. And why would you be worried? If we were docking at my home, I would be exstatic.” Unlike the others, he hadn’t lost anyone in his family. No, besides the occasional comment about growing up in a wealthy family and being ‘privledged’, he had a fairly happy childhood.
“I grew up in the trenches, Lucian, Anjou is the war sector after all. And that’s where my dad is now, he— he’ll recognize me if he sees me. That’s what terrifies me.” She finally made eye contact with him. “I hated Anjou. Hated it.”
“I grew up in the trenches, Lucian, Anjou is the war sector after all. And that’s where my dad is now, he— he’ll recognize me if he sees me. That’s what terrifies me.” She finally made eye contact with him. “I hated Anjou. Hated it.”
“You don’t know for sure that he will see you when we dock..” Lucian said slowly, thinking for a moment. “If it makes things better, I’ll go ashore with you. I should, anyways. I’m running low on a few things.”