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(Yeah, that's about it)
Lewis felt another wave of panic seize him as he thought about revealing his vision to Sienne. He couldn't let this overtake him again. It wasn't right. He was supposed to be the stable one in the group, he thought, and for him of all people to break down was one of the worst possible scenarios. Lewis tried to breathe deeply, but it didn't help.
"Are you ok?" Sienne asked Lewis. He seemed panicked and she wanted to help him.
Lewis felt almost worse than he had before. He thought he had calmed down, but the reality of it was that he had only suppressed his feelings. They still lurked there. About to start hyperventilating again, he squeezed Sienne's hand and shook his head.
(I have to leave in like 10 minutes)
(Yeah, I'm gone. I should be back in 5 or 6 hours.)
(Ok. I've gtg soon, but I'll just write Sienne's reaction)
Sienne squeezed Lewis's hand back and pulled Lewis into a hug. She patted his back and tried to calm him down.
Lewis choked back tears. He leaned into Sienne, trying not to let his fear and anxiety show, but failing. Why am I falling apart like this? He wondered frantically, almost more bothered by the idea of showing his emotions surrounding his deep-running insecurity than the insecurity itself. He wondered if he should share. Lewis trusted Sienne, but he didn't know that he wanted to place the weight of his problems on her shoulders, or that he wanted anyone, for that matter to understand his most closely held fear.
Sienne pulled Lewis tighter and patted his back again, hoping she could help him somehow. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but knew he needed the comfort she was giving him with her hugging him at that moment.
"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…" he murmured, "I shouldn't even be going on a quest, and I don't know why anyone trusts- oh…" He realized he was just talking, and since they were hugging, he didn't face her, and Sienne couldn't lipread like that. He stopped talking and just stayed in her embrace. It wasn't much, but it was comforting.
Sienne sat there to comfort Lewis, she couldn't do much else. She stayed there for Lewis, not letting go until he did. She felt he needed her there.
Lewis pulled away a little bit, now filled with rage more than anything. How dare a goddess who was supposed to represent mercy, of all things, be the one to bring him to his knees. He signed, "Give me a moment." Then, Lewis got up and looped around the tree. He was screaming curses at Eleos for doing this to him, for reminding him of his pain and fear right as he was being asked to be strong. He turned around and punched the tree. The bark was rough and bloodied his hand, but he was hurting in other places far worse. He punched it again and again until his hands were numb with pain. The frustration he felt was enough to drive him insane.
Sienne nodded at Lewis before he left. She waited for him to come back and thought of what could possibly break him like that. She knew no one could be strong all the time, but she knew Lewis was one of the strongest people she knew.
Lewis slumped to the ground behind the tree and just sat there, tucking his injured hands close to his body. He was sobbing. He hadn't cried in a long time- not since he'd been claimed three years before, and before then, not since he got the news that Raven had been killed.
Sienne sat and waited. She started to think maybe she had upset Lewis or made him mad or something. She hoped he'd come back soon and tell her what was wrong, but she wouldn't push him.
Lewis then felt like he couldn't go back to Sienne. He couldn't face her and let her see that he'd hurt himself in a rage, but he couldn't just leave her, either. Still crying, he pressed his head between his knees, and in the fetal position, he let himself just tear apart. He was in such deep emotional pain that he didn't know what to do besides physically try to let it go through painful, racking sobs. He had never felt this intensely before, and it was scaring him.
Sienne sat and was starting to feel worried. She wanted to check on him, but didn't want to invade his privacy. She stayed there and decided he'd come back when he was ready.
(Anyway, I haven't been on in a while, so much has happened. What's going on?)
\ sorry who were you again? XD \
Lewis had cried for a while, and his eyes finally started to dry up, and his breathing began to even out, but his hands were still bleeding. He shoved them in his jacket pockets, collected himself, and stood up. He started to walk back, feeling incredibly empty inside.
Sienne saw Lewis walking back and smiled, "Are you feeling better now?" she signed.
Out of the Zeus cabin window, Viva could see Sienne and Lewis. She hoped they were ok. Viva waved out the window as she waited for Perth to answer her. No rush though, Perth was probably still gathering her thoughts.
Viva continued to move towards Perth. She didn't want to quiz the poor thing out, but what if her memory loss was related to their quest somehow! "Perth… do you have any memories?"
"Memories?" Perth asked, trying to think of any memories she could still remember. "No memories. But I can remember… facts. Like things you learn at school. Facts. I don't know why."
Viva continued to move towards Perth. She didn't want to quiz the poor thing out, but what if her memory loss was related to their quest somehow! "Perth… do you have any memories?"
"Memories?" Perth asked, trying to think of any memories she could still remember. "No memories. But I can remember… facts. Like things you learn at school. Facts. I don't know why."
Viva felt guilty for continuing to pry, but she asked, "so you remember stuff about the Gods and that, but you don't remember us?" She gestured toward herself and Ari.
"Um… no. Facts as in facts about math. And I can remember stuff about history."
Lewis nodded solemnly. Of course he was lying. He didn't remove his hands from his pockets, and he was pretty sure there was some evidence of the tears he had shed.
"Um… no. Facts as in facts about math. And I can remember stuff about history."
Viva winced. "Sorry." she said, but continued to ask anyway, "Perth, do you still believe in the gods though?"
Viva was trying to ascertain whether someone on their side, or someone not on their side had taken Perth's memory.
Sienne frowned, "Are you sure, Lewis?" Sienne asked. She quickly added, "Of course, if you don't want to talk about it, I won't force you."