forum One-On-One ((closed))

Started November 09, 2018 by @blue_topaz

tune

Lucian nodded his head a bit. “Yeah, I guess it does. As a doctor I should have know,” he said with a weak chuckle.

Realizing that her hand was still on his shoulder, Morrigan withdrew it, finding it easier to lower her walls around him now that he had as well. "Either way, I'm sorry." Her eyes flickered away. "And I'm also sorry for asking about such a sensitive topic. I guess it's only fair that you ask whatever you want, now."

Lucian bit the inside of his cheek sharply for a moment. “I don’t want to make you do that, fair or not,” he responded.

"It's fine," she told him after a pause. "I mean– we're going out together. I know something personal about you. You should know something about me." Her stomach twisted itself into a knot and her palms were already sweating, but she knew she had to push herself if this was ever going to work.

Lucian gave Morrigan a knowing look. “And I also know that this would be a hard thing to talk about. I have my assumptions about what happened to you,” he sighed.

Conflict passed over her features. Of course she didn't want to talk, or even think, about it. But at the same time, she knew that Lucian deserved a glimpse at the broken parts of her before he decided that he wanted to become an official couple……. if that ever happened. And in all honesty, opening up, just a little, would do her good. "Honestly, just ask about whatever you want."

Lucian gave a soft sigh. “Fine. But if you want to not talk about it, just say,” he told her. “You.. You were sexually abused, weren’t you?”

Those two words, so harsh and factual, struck her like a slap to the face. She gave single nod, keeping her eyes glued to the ground. "I was."

Lucian had a sad expression now. So he had been right. “Who did that to you?” He asked after. A past boyfriend, maybe?

Morrigan's carefully crafted expression broke open to reveal pure fear, if only for a moment. She retreated back into her shell, waiting until her erratic breathing had calmed enough for her to deliver a reply. It was short, only two words– the two words that hurt the most. "My dad."

Lucian’s eyes widened in surprise at that. Her dad? “Oh my god.. I am so sorry,” he breathed out quickly.

Morrigan would not— could not— look up at him, her lips parting to let through a trembling breath. There. It was out. After so many years… her story was out. "You're the first person I've told," she whispered, though what she was trying to do was answer the question that would inevitably come before he could ask it. 'Is he behind bars?'

Lucian felt like he was still gaping at what Morrigan had told him. He wanted to hold her hand to comfort her or something, but that might not be the best idea. “He’s in jail, though, isn’t he?”

Morrigan clenched her jaw and shook her head, slowly losing the fight to the enormous wave of panic that threatened to pull her under. Tears pricked her eyes, but she rapidly blinked them away, horrible memories resurfacing.

Lucian’s eyes widened at that. He didn’t say anything now. How was he not thrown in jail to rot for doing that? He guessed that Morrigan never told. “Morrigan, how long ago did this happen?” He asked her gently.

“The first time, or the most recent time?” Her voice shook when she voiced the question, her hands along with it. Pain built in her chest, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut.

On your knees.
Open your mouth.
You deserve this.

Lucian thought for a moment. “Both,” he asked hesitantly. He needed to know this to get a sense of the damage that had been done.

Morrigan was like a small child now, in a way, scared and extremely vulnerable. “The- the last time— the last time was the night before I— before I turned eighteen. The first—“ Her voice caught in her throat. She was doing this. She was really doing this; speaking up about part of what had been done to her.

Lucian decided he would try it now. He reached out, gently taking her hands in his. He rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs to try to calm her. “It’s okay if you can’t get it out,” he soothed. He could already tell that this would be serious. She hadn’t been 18, she had still been a minor.

Morrigan’s shook from a repressed sob, wanting nothing more than to wrap herself up in a blanket and forget that any of it had ever happened to her. She gripped Lucian’s hands like a lifeline, like they were the only thing anchoring her in the morning. “I was- I was nine years old.”

Lucian was slightly relieved when she didn’t jerk her hands away. He seemed surprised at that. “Oh my god..” he breathed out. She had been abused for almost 9 years?

Morrigan inhaled sharply, realizing how incredibly exposed she was at the moment. She scrambled to put another mask on her face, compose herself, but it was near impossible at this point. “I-I’m sorry— for being so weak—“

Lucian shook his head quickly. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, it’s his. He had no right to hurt you like that,” he soothed quickly.

She was broken— so utterly broken, and now he could see. Now, she had shattered completely and left him to pick up the pieces. Shame burned across her face, guilt twisted her stomach. “I- I ruined our picnic.” Lucian would never want any of this, want her now. He would leave, and she wouldn’t blame him.

“No you didn’t, Morrigan. I’m glad you told me about what happened,” Lucian said softly, giving her hands a gentle squeeze. “You didnt ruin anything, I promise.”