Lucian had glanced over, but when he saw Morrigan with just her tanktop on, his mouth went dry. All of those scars, covering most areas of her skin that he could see. She was so much worse off than he had originally thought. Who made you want t do this? he wanted to ask right then and there. But he could only stare, and did so for a long moment, his lips parted as if he did want to speak.
But he tore his gaze away, biting the inside of his cheek sharply. He knew he had to ask now. He just had to. He needed to know who could have done something so horrible to Morrigan that she did those things to herself. It was a protectiveness towards her that he felt.
But he couldn’t do anything but be quiet at that moment. So, he simply decided to hesitantly reach over and place his palm over one if hers. He placed his hand over hers lightly and softly- showing her that she could pull away easily if she didn’t want him to do this.
Morrigan inhaled sharply the moment Lucian's hand made contact with hers, shoulder's drawing up, jaw clenching. He'd seen them. He'd seen almost all of them– the ones on her upper body, at least. She bit back the tiniest of whimpers, gluing her eyes to the screen ahead. This was a mistake– an enormous one. I never should have come here. Oh god– But strangely, Lucian's light, cautious touch seemed to anchor her, soothe her the smallest bit, so she kept her hand exactly where it was, praying that it wasn't shaking as bad as she thought it was.
Lucian threw a look in her direction. If she caught it, it was a soft one, giving a gentle and understanding smile. His dark eyes were just as soft as they usually were. He gently rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand in a calming and reassuring manner.
Morrigan could have let out a cry of relief. His hand wasn't slipping up her arm. He wasn't pulling her closer. He wasn't running his hands over her bare skin, or reaching into her lap. If anything, he was doing the exact opposite, trying to… comfort her? The fear definitely did not go away, but it ebbed enough that she could lean back into her seat and watch the rest of the movie without hyperventilating.
When the end credits began to roll, she stood, hugging the sweater to her chest.
When the movie ended and the credits began, Lucian’s hand left hers as he stood up. He shrugged his jacket back on and looked at her face with a smile. “Ready to head home?” He asked.
"Yeah," she replied with a smile that was, for once, not at all convincing. She hurriedly put her sweater back on as they were leaving the room, tugging it down directly before bright daylight hit her arms. "Did you- Did you enjoy the movie?"
Lucian took notice of the fake smile. He glanced around as they walked out and saw a few people having looked at Morrigan. When their eyes would shift to his, he would give them glares and resisted the urge to tug Morrigan close to him in a shielding, protective manner. “I thought it was pretty good. What did you think?” He asked.
"I–" Was trying not to have a panic attack in front of you for half of it."I liked it, though I feel like the- like the plot got a little too far-fetched at some point. The character development was nice, thought." They exited the cinema, rapidly approaching Lucian's car.
Lucian gave her an easy smile and nodded his head. They neared his car and took his keys out, unlocking it. He got in and put his seatbelt on. Once she was in and had done the same, he started the car. “You’ll have to give me a few directions,” he hummed.
"Sure," she replied, her body suddenly stiffening once more. The car– though it was not particularly small, it seemed tiny to her now. She was trapped, barely half a foot away from Lucian, and there was nothing she could do. Cool it. My god, you're pathetic. It's a car ride. He;s a nice guy. It was much easier said than done.
Lucian looked behind him as he pulled out of the spot. He had both of his hands resting on the wheel, just like he said he would. While he normally would have been more comfortable with one hand on his lap, he didn’t want to make Morrigan nervous. He pulled out onto the road, now.
"Do you know the intersection close to [insert mall]? Just continue straight until then, and then turn right," she directed quietly, rubbing at her safely clothed arms. A burst of pain flared just above her elbow, and she realized with shock and horror that in addition to her scars, Lucian had also seen the multiple fresh cuts. Her throat began to close up again, breath stalling completely.
“I know where you’re talking about,” Lucian said with a nod of his head. He kept his eyes on the road, hands adjusting a bit. “Can I ask you something, now?”
Here it comes. Morrigan paled, convinced that she was about to throw up all over Lucian's dashboard. "Ask away. What's up?"
“I know that you know about me seeing your scars..” Lucian started off slowly. “And I was wondering why..?” He asked before deciding to speak again. “Now you don’t have to tell me. From what I know about you I can piece a few things together, but I don’t know details. But I don’t want you to feel pressured to tell me if you don’t want to. I won’t be upset or mad or anything like that if you tell me no.”
Morrigan turned her head away, swallowing as she stared at the sights that flew by her window without really paying attention. It was a long time before she was calm enough to speak, to even breathe, and when she did, her voice shook. "I didn't– I didn't do all of them." No. Fuck. Her panic rose when she realized that she was just making it worse. "I mean–"
Lucian’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. “So you were abused?” He asked softly, biting the inside of his cheek sharply. He hated that he had to have thwt thought of someone hurting Morrigan confirmed.
Morrigan squeezed her eyes shut, fighting for breath. Images, memories, fears— they all flashed before her mind’s eye. By now, her whole body was trembling, jaw clamped tightly shut until she finally pried it open. “I- I don’t- I don’t want to talk about this.”
Lucian had noticed her trembling now, and got concerned. He shouldn’t have brought it up. “Okay, okay. We don’t have to talk about it anymore. I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said quickly and softly.
Morrigan nodded quickly, hair falling in front of her face. She pressed herself back against the seat and door, slipping her feet out of her shoes so that she could curl up into a little upright ball. You’re pathetic, she told herself harshly, still fighting for breath, and the thought was written across her face.
Lucian glanced over at her quickly before looking back at the road. This was his fault. He hated seeing her upset like this. He bit his inner cheek a bit harder.
The ride back to her house was excruciatingly slow, seeming to stretch on and on into a painful oblivion. When they finally arrived at her apartment building, Morrigan unbuckled her seatbelt with quivering hands, unable to look him in the eyes. “I’m so sorry- That this date has to end up like this.”
Lucian had parked outside the building and looked at her. “It’s okay, Morrigan. Please don’t apologize. I know this is hard for you. It’ll be rocky, and I can deal with that,” he said softly. “You’re getting a bit better- you let me hold your hand. You should see that as an achievement, like I do. I’m proud of you for that. Today was just emotional.”
Morrigan opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She swallowed again, pushing open the door of his car and finally turning to meet his eyes. “Thank you, Lucian.”
Then the conflicting emotions were too much, too tangled, and she had to turn away before the ability to breathe was stolen from her once more. “I’ll see you soon,” she told him softly over her shoulder, raising a hand before slipping away.
“You’re welcome,” Lucian responded, meeting her gaze for a brief moment. He tilted his head a bit. “See you later,” he added after. Once she was out of the car and walking towards her building. He would sit there for about 3 minutes or so, his head tilted against his hands. He had just messed up with Morrigan, he knew it. But after a minute of selt loathing, he began to drive home.
